Break Up Letter
Dear Phoenix,
You are wildly expensive. You are sinfully boring. And you are made, exclusively for Big Grown Up Adults. (The lack of entertainment venues, bars, restaurants and clubs that seek to attract the 20 -something crowd is extremely apparent.) There are many a great things to do in Phoenix, if you enjoy wine, tee-times, and are married. You seem to not want students here. I get it, I mean students are annoying, dumb and don't generally pay taxes. But you do know that I AM a Student right?
I realize that you are putting forth effort to fix this, but I'm afraid by the time you'll be ready for the young adult, i will be an old big grown up.
I feel it is best if we part ways.
I'm leaving you in January. I'm moving back to Orlando. Please don't compare yourself to Orlando... It isn't your fault Orlando can offer me everything you won't. Well, maybe it is, but I don't want you to get depressed thinking about it.
I got rehired at Walt Disney World, and found an affordable apartment. The apartment is perhaps 1/4 the cost of this Phoenician one, and utilities are included. There is no state-income tax, so they likely can't use my tax dollars to build pottery on the side of the freeway, or knock over parks in favor of AJ's Fine Foods.
I'll be back every now and again to check on the kids, and sure, we can hang out too. Not sure how long I might be away.
The space will be good for us, we'll both be able to clear our heads, and maybe you'll realize how good you had it with me.
I know. Try not to cry too much. I won't be crying over you.
Sorry again,
James