ahhh... bubble bubble... palpatations... i'm the root of evil and he might just be a genius... I'M IN **** [way over my head]...

last night i got completely fucking maggot at a cocktail party, stumbled around the valley and caught up with robert. it was about 5 months overdue. it probably would have been better for us to talk sooner instead of dreadging up old shit that we both wish we were over... but it was so good to talk to someone who knows exactly how it feels, except ( Read more... )

i stood there with my neck arched back, staring up and up, a thousand things running through my head, 400 of those i wanted to say but couldn't find the words, the time, the place and instead i muttered something stupid, inane and incoherent and he walked away. it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

i'm not depressed, i don't hate my life. i have been having heaps of fun lately and generally i'm ok. i'm just really disillusioned with people and relationships. my expectations are still way too high and i always end up disappointed.

50cent video day isn't 50cents anymore.....

when cultures collide was hell fun, i love the mustang bar. casino rumblers were so damn good, slant 6 were rad too.. i had the best fun dancing... and no, not even drunk, so i have no excuse for looking like a complete spazzy hahaha... tracey, it was good to see you out again. thanks for the hugs. i went home early and slept like the dead. so ( Read more... )

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ehhhh... blah fuck it...

ohh gosh i'v been drinking everynight since wednesday... it's been months... i feel pretty crook today hey... but tonight the mustang bar and some hardcore psychobilly swing and a couple of beers should make it all better... and then detox week...

ebbc on friday was way too much fun.

relationships suck, love is painful and i'm just not sure it's worth it anymore. i'm left with this immense sense of self loathing which stems from constant insecurities and paranoia... my arms are too hairy, my nose is shaped funny, is he staring at my mole [excuse me- beauty spot], my bottom teeth are crooked, my voice is annoying, i ramble ( Read more... )

don't think i don't like you
we both know it's not true

i'm NOT PROUD
i'm not happy
it's probably the wrong thing
can't go on
searching for [mean]ing
grasping at feelings
when i'm afraid
there's just none left in me

empty.

across the room i saw
i knew because i've seen this all before
lets just pretend
we'll just be friends
not going to torture myself anymore
you're excuse are useless
why do we do this
when we know what the truth is
now that you've fucked her
then you try not to touch her
i look at the photo
and realise we both know

i'll never be the only one

why am i listening to the new againstme cd when i could be at the show right now... ohhh that's right $20... fuck i want to just hop on a bus and go... and sneak in... GENIUS.

if you never ask you'll never know.

baby i'm too old for this.
maybe i'm too bold for this.
[and i know] my heart's too cold for this.

i like rhyming words.