Thank God for Empty Classrooms and Glen Campbell Chapter Two
October 02nd 2012
“ Why are you here Jensen?”
“ I should not have said what I said.” He said to me while looking down to the floor and even though his voice seemed sincere I was not quite ready to dismiss it as his words to me had hurt badly.
“ Well you did.”
“ You know that I wouldn't purposely say anything to hurt you Jared.... we have been friends far too long for something like this to come and fuck it up.” Then he looked directly into my eyes before continuing. “ And also because I want you to come back to work for me, I need you there with me.... we both earned this Jay.”
“ I don't know if I can go back to that Jensen, your friends don't want me there and I do not what to have to constantly defend the way I grew up or my sexuality to anyone especially them.” I replied with an edge to my voice that even Jensen caught on to as witnessed by his next words.
“ It is no ones god damn business how you decide to get off Jay.... if it does not bother me then it sure as hell should not bother them that you grew up in a trailer park or that you are gay. They are just trying to push your buttons... to see how far they can push before you push back.”
“ I don't like being pushed Jensen, you of all people should know that. “ I sighed before continuing in a calm voice. “ I will come back on one condition.”
“ Anything you want Jay, it is yours.”
“ I want my old job back.”
“ What about Daniel?”
“ Has he been doing a good job?”
“ Jared.”
“ Well has he Jen... you know if it was me you would not be in this mess to begin with. I was a good publicist and you know it.”
“ OK.... you can have your old job back but you have to share the responsibility with Daniel.” Was his reply.
I decided to give him a little leeway so I agreed and that was how it went for months, surprisingly Daniel and the rest of them started being nice to me even offering to take me out clubbing with them without Jensen being around but I didn't feel comfortable at first but with the constant asking and with Jensen's urging for me to get to know them better made me decide to go out with them one night and little did I know that was the beginning of the end for me.
January 13th 2013
“ You will like this club Jared, it has got some beautiful women and I am sure one or two good looking men as well.” I looked over at Daniel surprised that he would even make that statement knowing his views on my lifestyle.
“ What's with the look Jared, you think I am a homophobic ass hole don't you?”
“ Sorry.... it's just that....”
“ It's OK Jared, I understand. I figure that we might as well all try to get along since we will be working together with Jensen for the long haul.” I laughed and allowed him to lead me into the club and surprisingly I was having a good time and then near the end of the night I felt a tap on my shoulder so I turned around and was met with the sight of a good looking guy who was gracing me with a giant smile and then he spoke.
“ Your looking good tonight.”
“ Thanks... so do you.”
“ I'm Michael.” He said starting to crowd up to me.
“ My names Jared.”
“ Well Jared I'm not going to waste my time or yours, so I will come straight to the point... I came over here because I think you look fucking sexy and I want to take you out the back and fuck your brains out... what do you think?”
“ Excuse me.” I managed to get out in my drunken stupor.
He leaned into me then and after blowing on my ear he whispered. “ I want to fuck you.” And that was when I realized I was not imagining things and this sex on a stick wanted to fuck me, something that had not happened in quite a while, not since Christian. So in my state of drunkenness and arousal I was more than happy to oblige.
“ Come on.” He said, taking my arm and leading me out to the back of the club then into the alley coming to a stop at the far end of the wall he started to undo his pants while I tried to regain my composure.
“ I don't have a con....”
“ Shh... I have it covered.” He whispered into my ear as he pulled out a condom out of his jeans pocket and tore into it with his teeth.
He turned me around to face the wall and then he quickly pulled my pants and boxers down and just before pushing into me he whispered. “ This is from a mutual friend.”
“ Uhh.” Was all I managed to get out as I tried to adjust to his size without any foreplay before hand and before I knew it I was coming in my hand while he filled the condom. When it was over he pulled out, disposed of the condom then rearranged his clothes as he walked away not looking back once.
January 14th 2013
“ Where did you guys go last night?” Jensen asked as he wrote in his notebook.
“ Just some club.”
“ Did you have a good time?”
“ I guess.”
“ You guess.” He said looking up at me from his notebook.
Last night had been something that I would rather forget, the whole incident with Michael just didn't set well with me and something seemed off about the whole thing. I felt like I had been set up for something but I was not sure what that something was, I had left the club as soon as it was over.
“ Yeah Jen, It was OK.”
“ Well I am glad that you had a good time.”
“ Me too Jared.” Daniel said walking towards us.
“ I'm going to go and get some lunch.... do you want anything Jensen?” I asked him wanting to get out of the room as Daniel being there was making me uncomfortable after last night.
“ No thanks Jay.”
“ OK.” And as I walked out the door I could hear Daniel laughing to himself.
January 15th 2013
It seemed that since the minute I had walked out of my apartment this morning all eyes were on me, it may have seemed like I was paranoid but I really wasn't as all eyes were on me where ever I went. At the gas station this morning when I was pumping gas the attendant walked past me and whispered the word faggot, after that I got into my car and drove away as quickly as possible and at the office it was the exact same thing, snide remarks and crude comments which I just couldn't understand until I went to walk in to my office but Jensen, Daniel, Christopher and the rest of Jensen's group stepped out, some with looks of disgust on there faces, others with hatred but the one face that really mattered to me would not even look my way.
“ What's going on?” I asked, but no one answered. Someone then threw a newspaper on the ground at my feet and to my utter horror on the front page was a picture of me and Michael having sex in the alley with the headline reading: publicist of no 1 country singer Jensen Ackles caught with his pants down with a convicted murderer.
“ Jensen...”
“ You see this shit Jensen, you see what happens when you let a queer on to your team. Who the fuck is going to want to buy anything that comes from you when they know you have a queer who fucks murderers working on your staff. Think about your career Jensen, don't let this pervert drag you down” Daniel said with a sneer on his face not letting me finish my sentence.
“ Jensen please let me explain.” And just for a moment his eyes softened as he looked at me but then a cold look came over his face as he walked past all of us and into an empty office slamming the door behind him.
“ You fucking set me up.” I screamed at Daniel ready to kick his fucking head in.
“ I don't know what the fuck your talking about.” Daniel replied smirking at me.
“ You know damn well what I am talking about, you fucking set me up in the club.”
“ You are a fucking lunatic as well as a queer, get the fuck out of here before I put you in the fucking ground.”
And before I even thought about it, I found myself lunging at Daniel with murder on my mind only to be pulled back by his friends.
“ Let me go right fucking now.”
“ It's all right boys let him go, if he wants a fight let him fucking have one, I will fucking wipe the floor with him.”
“ Shut the fuck up all of you.” I turned at Jensen's voice to see him standing off to the side with a blank look on his face which hurt, then he spoke again.
“ Christopher this is your call, I am not going to do anything to fuck up my career, not for anybody.” He said as he turned to look at me.
“ I am sorry Jared but you have to go, if Jensen ever meant anything to you you will leave without any trouble.”
“ Fine I’ll leave but know this, those fucking picture didn't just magically appear, maybe you need to take a good look at who your friends are.” And with that I walked away from the one person who I always thought would be in my life until we were gone from this earth.
May 01st 2014
The days turned into weeks, then months and eventually over a year had passed, surprisingly all the controversy over the article had died down pretty quickly and in no time nobody even remembered it or me. It was as if Jared Padalecki had never existed and it hurt, it hurt a lot. It was not the career I missed, the pay or the little luxuries that came with it, they could have all been taken away and I would have still been happy, no that was not what I missed, what I missed was my friendship with Jensen, that bond that can only exist with someone that you absolutely connect with on every level. Jensen had been that for me, he was a lot of things for me but now all I feel towards him was a deep seeded sense of betrayal and hatred.
Don't get me wrong I never blamed him for the article, I know that he had absolutely nothing to do with that but the fact that he so willingly accepted that article as the truth and never gave me a chance to explain hurt me beyond belief. I had always adjusted my life around him and all I got in return was shit. But then I decided to just get on with my life without Jensen Ackles and it was with that thought that I found myself where I am now.
I was the publicist for Cardine King, up and coming country princess, her début album had already sold over 2 million copies and counting. Personally she was a sweet eighteen year old with a good head on her shoulders and a voice to match. Professionally she was a sex vixen that milked her sex appeal for all it was worth and in many ways I realized that she was just like Jensen.
And I knew that this would happen eventually, wouldn't the king and queen of country eventually come together for a collaboration. Well it was happening and I was definitely not prepared, last night I had called Christian and had told him about the impending doom I felt about today.
“ No shit,well you knew this could happen eventually didn't you?”
“ Fuck yes Chris, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for it, what happens if someone asks about the article?”
“ You tell them to go and fuck themselves Jared... do you really think anyone actually gives a fuck about that article any more Jay but let me ask you something OK?”
“ What?”
“ Is this about messing up in front of the media or is this about seeing Jensen again after so long?”
“ I guess a little of both Chris.... I am fucking terrified about how I am going to react when I see him, he was my best friend and I am afraid that I am going to truly hate him when I see him face to face. I sound like a fricking lunatic don't I?”
“ No you don't, you sound concerned over someone who used to mean something to you, there is nothing wrong with still caring about him Jared.”
“ I don't give a fuck about him Chris.... any feelings I had for Jensen Ackles are non existent now.”
I sat opposite where Jensen and Daniel would be seated, Cardine was on my right and Steve her manager and a good friend of mine on my left.
“ What time is this supposed to start Jay?” Cardine asked trying her best not to sound bored but truth be told we all were.
“ Half an hour ago, the media is outside waiting to start. You did double check that they were coming didn't you?” I asked Cardine's assistant.
“ Yes I checked twice this morning and once again when we got here, his manager said they would be here.” And someone must have heard my prayer for at that moment the doors opened and in walked Daniel and Jensen. The look that passed between the two of us did nothing but remind me about what had happened between us and I promised myself that I would not look at him again.
“ Your finally here gentlemen.” Steve said getting up to shake Daniel's hand.
“ Well you know what they say, nobody but a star can be kept waiting.” Daniel said smirking.
“ Well next time some discretion would be appreciated on your part, these people have places to go.” I smiled at Steve's words knowing that he wouldn't be taking no shit from Daniel.
“ Well lets get this show on the road, and you must be the lovely Cardine... you are one fine looking woman.” Daniel said reaching over to shake her hand only to be greeted with a cold shoulder from her. Embarrassed he withdrew his hand quickly as Jensen took over which just seemed to piss Daniel off more.
“ Hello Cardine, I'm Jensen Ackles.”
She leaned into him and allowed his lips to graze her cheek before speaking. “ Nice to meet you too... I'm really excited to be working with you.”
“ Same here.”
“ So are we ready for the media gentlemen?” The guard asked from his spot by the door.
“ Yes let them in.”
“ Cardine are you and Jensen currently in the studio?”
“ Not yet but I am anxious to begin.” She turned to look at me for reassurance and I offered her a small smile to let her know she was doing fine.
“ Is it coincidence that you both shared the same publicist at one point in time.”
Both she and Jensen turned to look at me while Daniel spoke. “ Totally coincidence, next question please.”
“ Ms King do you think that Mr Ackles personality will in anyway affect your record sales?”
“ Meaning what exactly?” She asked the reporter.
“ Well you are aware that Mr Ackles was been accused of stabbing another performer.”
“ Yes and as you yourself stated it is an allegation, can we please move on.”
“ One more question and then we are finished ladies and gentlemen.” I stated.
“ What expectations do you have for the collaboration?”
“ We expect nothing, we know that both of these performers are great on their own and together they will shine just as greatly, OK no more questions.” I said as I quickly ushered Cardine off of the platform and through the door that led to her dressing room.
“ I am glad I have you here Jared, those reporters are relentless.”
“ That they are sweetheart, but they are your public also.”
“ I guess... poor Jensen though, they just will not leave him alone.”
“ Well that's just what you have to deal with when your a celebrity.”
“ I guess but.... “ The look on her face let me know something was bothering her.
“ What's the matter?”
“ I've been thinking this over and I am not sure if it is such a good idea to go along with this any more.”
“ Why.... because that idiot out there said those things?”
“ Partially.... I mean I want to be a positive role model to my fans Jared, I don't want anyone associating me with any type of violence.”
“ OK.... well you have the right to feel that way, you should never force yourself to do something you're not comfortable with or one hundred percent behind.”
She turned then and took my hand into hers as she spoke. “ You know Jensen better than I do so what do you think?”
I was not sure what to say to her right then as I didn't want my feelings towards Jensen to impact her, so I went with what my heart was telling me to say.
“ I think this could be a good opportunity for you but you need to take your time going into it... why don't you talk to him and see how well you two get along first.”
“ OK... I'll do that but I do not want to go through his pocksy manager, that guy is a fucking tool.” I laughed at that as that was a perfect description of Daniel.
“ Don't worry I will set everything up for you.”
She pulled me down to her and kissed my cheek. “ I trust your judgement Jared and I will go along with whatever program you want me to.”
As I was passing by Jensen's dressing room I could hear shouting, anyone within a few yards could hear it.
“ You fucking made me look like an idiot out there, what the fuck am I paying you for.”
“ Calm down Jensen, it won't happen again.”
“ Your damn right it won't, because if it does you will be out of a job, ever since I signed you on as manager it seems all that is going on is that I am getting screwed left right and centre.”
“ Now just wait a minute.”
“ No I fucking will not just wait a minute, that stabbing incident... how the fuck did the press get a hold of that story huh.”
“ I don't know.”
“ Bull shit Daniel, nothing fucking happened and now the media is passing me off as some kind of fucking redneck.”
“ And your sales have gone up or have you forgotten that.”
“ I don't care.... you know I don't work like that. I have been around for quite a while and I have never used the hype of violence to up my sales, now whatever you have been doing Daniel fucking stop it, do you understand me.”
“ I did not have anything to do with it.”
“ Well you better find out who did.”
“ Well I wouldn't put it past your queer friend.”
“ Just get the fuck out Daniel, your giving me a damn headache with your bullshit.” And as I heard the door open I hid behind a partition and observed as Daniel stormed out and slammed the door. And with that I couldn't help the malicious thought about how ironic this all was that with all of his fame and fortune and the high and mighty Jensen Ackles couldn't seem to handle it.
May 12th 2014
The ringing of the telephone woke me from a lovely dream, when I looked over at the clock it was only 10.30am.
“ Hello.” I said grogilly.
“ Jared we have a problem.” Steve said.
“ What.... is Cardine OK.”
“ Yes she is fine this is not actually about her it's about you.”
“ What about me.”
“ Well I do not want to talk over the phone... can you come into the office in about an hour?”
“ Yeah sure, I'll see you then.” And long after I had hung up I still could not figure out what this was about.
“ So what is so urgent that I had to drag myself out of bed on this fine Saturday morning.” I asked him when I arrived at his office just after 12.
“ It seems that your former employer is about to sue us for breach of contract.”
“ What!” I asked him caught completely of guard with his words.
“ I got a call this morning from non other than Mr Ackles manager.”
“ What the hell did he have to say?”
Steve reached into one of his drawers and pulled out two pieces of paper, handing one copy to me and keeping one for himself.
“ That is your contract with them, look at the extremely small fine print at the bottom.”
I had to look really hard to see what it said and was so pissed when I did. This contract will remain in effect until 2015 even if said employee is otherwise terminated by the organization. If such a thing does occur employee must have written permission from their former employer to do other such said work.
“ Is that even fucking legal?”
“ It is if you signed it.” I shook my head at my own stupidity.
“ Well it was Christopher's company that drafted this... so can't I just talk to him about it?”
“ Technically yes you could, but as the situation stands at the moment he is as much knee deep in this shit as you are. According to their lawyer he is under the same legal obligation as you are and the bottom line is that either you work for Jensen or you don't work at all.”
“ That fucking piece of shit, you would think that after all these fucking years you could at least trust....” I trailed off fuming.
“ Calm down Jared, we are going to fight this OK. Cardine specifically gave me orders to fight this as far as we have to and I will do just that. I gave a lawyer friend of mine a call and faxed over the contract to him this morning so I should be hearing back from him soon and as soon as I know what is happening so will you.”
“ Thanks Steve, I know this is probably more hassle than it is worth but I promise you I will do my fucking best.”
He walked around his desk and pulled me in to a tight hug before speaking. “ You are a good person Jared and you are part of this family now, so don't sweat it.”
September 14th 2014
We finally settled the contract out of court, Steve’s friend had negotiated the buy out at only twenty thousand dollars, something Daniel had refused at first but then to all of our surprise he changed his mind and accepted. Christopher also agreed to pay him another twenty thousand to get lost which he greedily snapped up. In the mean time the new single that Jensen and Cardine had collaborated on had debuted at no 1 on the charts and had been there for ten weeks and counting. Cardine was very pleased with the outcome and had made it very clear that she wanted to work with Jensen again in the near future.
“ Hey Jared, I have another assignment for you.” Steve said bringing me out of my thoughts.
“ What is it?”
“ I have been hearing a rumour that Jensen Ackles is about to drop his manager for good.”
“ OK.....”
“ And I also heard that he is going to need someone to replace him, also he is going to need a very good publicist to get back his reputation as one of the good guys.”
“ Steve...” I started but was stopped by him holding up his hand.
“ Let me finish, he is going to need a good publicist to get back on track and he specifically asked for you. He is agreeing to anything you want Jared, this is a very rare opportunity.”
“ And I am not interested Steve.” Did he really think that I would just agree to take on this assignment like nothing had happened.
“ Come on Jared, this is a golden opportunity for the both of us and it will be good for Cardine's career as well.”
“ Look Steve you can take him on as a client if you want but I will not.” And as I walked out of the door I wondered if my decision was a hasty one.
Apparently everyone else thought it was, from Christian to Cardine to the media and the vote was unanimous, everyone seemed to think I was making a mistake.
“ Are you crazy Jared, you have a chance to set the stage for anything you want and you don't want to take it.” My brother said to me.
“ Exactly... he thinks that he can throw a few dollars my way and that will make everything go away.... well fuck that and fuck him.” I shouted.
“ But isn't this what you wanted, Jensen on his knees begging for you to come back?”
“ Not like this Jeff, why does everything have to be about money?”
“ What the hell do you want then?” And with his words every emotion and feeling I had came spilling out as I broke down in my brothers arms.
“ It was never about the money Jeff, it was about our friendship.” And as I kept repeating this over and over again, he kept reassuring me that whatever I decided to do he would be behind me all the way.
September 23rd 2014
Needless to say I decided to at least see what the offer was all about before making my final decision. There was to be a meeting at Steve's office at 1 pm this afternoon and as I waited I racked my mind for things to say, things that I needed to say. Surprisingly Steve was late and I I was left waiting by myself until I heard the door open behind me.
“ Damn Steve, your late and it looks like that idiot is not even going to turn up.”
“ Well the idiot is here.” I stopped breathing for what seemed like a minute but was actually only a couple of seconds and then turned around to look into the eyes of someone that I tried so hard to get over, I looked into the eyes of my one time best friend and confidante and felt my legs turn to jelly.
“ I didn't answer him, instead I turned back around to stare out the window and I heard him sigh behind me before speaking.
“ So have you thought about my offer?”
“ Yes.”
“ And?”
It was as if all the things I wanted to say to him came out in one simple sentence. “ Fuck you and your offer!”
As I tried to walk past him out of the office I found myself barracked in by his body as he blocked the door.
“ What the fuck are you doing?” I asked getting ready to fight him if he pushed me to far.
“ We have to talk.”
“ I have nothing to say to your sorry ass Jensen Ross.”
“ Why are you doing this?”
“ Excuse me?”
“ Why are you doing this... acting like this, I am trying to clear the air and all you want to do is run. Just let me say what I have to say and then you can leave.”
“ And why the hell should I listen do a god damn word that comes out of your mouth?” My reply seemed to hit a nerve in him.
“ Because you were my fucking best friend and I want that back.” I had never heard him sound so emotional outside of his music and I swore that I would not let it get to me.
“ Well you can't have everything you want, that ship has sailed by you and you have no fucking right to ask for it to turn around.”
He stood in front of the door and looked straight at me never breaking eye contact as he spoke.
“ I made a mistake Jared, a big fucking mistake and I want.... no I need you to forgive me.”
“ Why should I give a damn about anything you say now, you just think that I am some stupid queer trailer trash that you can take advantage of whenever you feel like it.”
“ I never said that Jared.”
“ No but you do not have a problem showing it, now tell me why I should fucking give you the time of day, why should I waste my time and energy on you?”
“ Because I am begging you to, I was wrong Jared..... so fucking wrong and I have regretted every fucking minute of it.”
“ So I suppose you sued me because you care so damn much about me, do you think I am blind Jen. The only reason you are here is because your so called manager fucked up, his little scheme backfired and your career is going out of the window, isn't that why you are really here?”
“ What do you want me to say Jared?”
“ There is nothing that you can say, so just get out of my way.”
“ We were friends Jay.”
“ Exactly... we were friends and right now that does not mean shit to me.”
He broke eye contact with me then and threw his hands up in the air. “ I let the fame and the money get to me Jared, I let Daniel and the rest of them manipulate me into thinking that.... I messed up and I am begging you to please..... I want to go back to the way things were before all of this.” And even though he was saying everything that I had wanted to hear, I could not bring myself to forgive him. Instead I made him an offer that left little room for negotiation.
“ Listen to me and listen to me good OK because this is the first and last time I will be saying this. I expect to be paid the same amount of money as I get paid from Cardine and I expect the same degree of respect from you as I expect from her and if you fucking make me regret taking you on as a client I swear to god I will make you regret it. And lastly just because I am doing this it does not mean shit to me, we are not friends here, it is a totally professional arrangement and I expect you to treat it as such.”
He looked at me as if he were truly seeing me for the first time but he readily agreed to all of my demands, no questions asked and by the time Steve arrived at two we had everything sorted out. And as he and Steve talked in hushed tones I walked out making sure not to look back because if I did, I might just have changed my mind about the friendship aspect.
November 01st 2014
6 weeks had gone by since our new arrangement and things to my surprise had been working out quite smoothly, slowly but surely Jensen was regaining his positive persona back and his red neck living was making a quite exit. I had to admit that sometimes I felt myself drawn to him and when I did I gave myself a mental kick for even thinking of going down that road again, but other than those few times I managed to keep things on a professional level only. The same could not be said for Jensen, who seemed to take every opportunity that he could to sweet talk me into believing that we could be friends again. Just the other day we had both ended up in the same conference room watching another celebrity scandal unfold, I did not even hear him come in and if was not for the fact that he coughed I would have been oblivious to his presence, I had turned around and had felt my face get hot at the sight of him.
“ God the press just will not leave him alone, the man can't even get a moments peace.” I turned to look at him, not at all surprised at his words.
“ They are just doing their jobs.” I retorted turning around and giving my full attention back to the TV.
“ Fuck that.... all they do is find another way to fuck over another celebrity, today it is him and tomorrow it is someone else, they just need to mind their own god damn business sometimes.”
“ If it was not for the media you or him would not be where you are today.”
“ Yeah and if it was not for the media you.....” He trailed off suddenly but I already knew what he would have said.
“ What were you going to say just then?”
“ Nothing... I just don't know how you can be all for the press after what they did to you.”
I turned off the TV and turned to him before speaking. “ The press did not do anything to me except do what they are paid to do, they were not the ones who screwed me over.”
“ Maybe not but they were partially to blame for the aftermath.”
“ What aftermath would that be... oh yeah, you mean the one where you and Christopher kicked me to the curb like all my work was less than shit. You can tell yourself that all you want Jensen but the press was not responsible for any of that.”
And before he could respond I continued, if Jensen Ackles wanted the truth he was going to get it.
“ You were the one who made the decision to fire me not the press, so be man enough to put the blame where it belongs.”
“ So what you are saying is that everything that happened was my fault? He said raising his voice.
“ Hell yes, you chose your career and the money over our supposed friendship, I had stood by you from the beginning and as soon as that contract was signed it was like you did not need me any more, well all I have to say to that is thanks for nothing.”
“ Do you really think that was how it happened Jared?”
“ You have never given me any reason to think differently.”
“ Let me tell you something Jared, it was a fucking hard decision to make when I let you go OK, and in hindsight I see that it was the fucking wrong one to make and if I could go back and change it I would.”
“ And I suppose now you think I should tell you everything is OK because you seen the error of your way?”
“ No I do not expect that but I would like the chance to make it up to you.”
“ Well you can forget that, we are not friends any more and we never will be friends again.”
“ Jared please..”
“ No.... I don't need friends like you trying to screw with me at every opportunity, you already proved your worth as a friend and I have to say you can keep your friendship, better yet why not get Daniel to be your friend, you two seemed to have that upper class/ straight boy bond going on.”
“ Fuck you Jared, what the hell is with all of this class and sexuality shit?”
“ Fuck you Jensen, you were the one that made it clear that this shit does matter, isn't that why you let your friends fuck with me so much, as a matter of fact don't answer that, I don't want to know. The bottom line is that whatever you hoped we could have... I am not interested in it and I am not interested in you and if you keep pushing this you are going to have to find yourself a new publicist.”
And with that last sentence I had got up and walked out, I was so mad at him for trying to put all of our problems on everyone else except where it belonged, on him. And even though I told myself that I was not going to devote any more time or energy to thoughts of that day it is not actually what happened as I found myself thinking about the conversation between us and I started to analize it and come to the startling realization that I was in love with him. It was a strange feeling and even stranger realization that I could never, would never allow this to become knowledge to him or anyone else for I knew that it was far better to love him in secret than have him reject me, as I knew that if it came down to a choice between me or his music, his music would win every time.
Chapter Three