Thank God for Empty Classrooms and Glen Campbell Chapter Five
October 08th 2015
I could not believe that this was happening, not to me, not to the two people I loved the most, here was Chris lying in a hospital bed with broken ribs and bones. Chris had been beaten so badly that he couldn't speak or open his eyes too tell me what happened so I was going a bit crazy with thoughts of why this happened.
“ He is out for the night so you might as well go home and come back later.” Christian's doctor said.
“ Is he going to be OK?” I said with so much pain in my voice that I didn't know what to do with.
“ Sure, he has been injured pretty badly but he will pull through, he has a broken arm and hand as well as a couple of fractured ribs but other than that he is just fine.”
I let out a sigh of relief then and took hold of Christian's hand.
“ Can I stay for a few more minutes please?”
“ Sure, no problem.” And as I watched him walk away my mind wandered over to Jensen, I still could not come to grips with the idea that he could do this, that blind rage could make him want to hurt someone like this. I had seen the police take him away only to return a few hours later to question me about what happened or about what I heard. The only thing I could provide them with was the history between Jensen and Chris, something that put Jensen in an even worse light and even though Steve had called me begging me to talk to him I couldn't, I felt like I just didn't know Jensen any more, Chris did not deserve this no matter what had transpired between them and I in no way, shape or form was going to lead Jensen to believe other wise.
October 11th 2015
“ I have some good news.” I looked up at Steve as he spoke with a smile on my face.
“ You are getting out of here today.”
“ Thank god, another day of this and I would have gone out of my fucking mind.”
“ Also the charges against you have been dropped.”
“ Even the assault charges?”
“ Those too.”
“ How?”
“ Because it appears that Mr Kane won't bring charges against you, apparently he is telling the police that it was just a fist fight that got out of hand.”
“ I can't believe it, so that really means I am getting out of here?”
“ Yes you are.... but there is a catch.”
“ What?”
“ Anger management.”
“ What?” I asked him incredulously.
“ Anger management, I talked to Mr Kane's lawyer and his client is willing to drop all charges as long as you attend anger management classes.”
It was such a small request that I agreed to it immediately.
“ Is that it?”
“ Yes, now we just sit back and wait for them to sign you out... which should be in about twenty five minutes.” Steve said as he looked at his watch.
I could wait that long, and as I looked around I knew that this was a place that never wanted to end up in again. And not for the first time I thought about all the time I wasted listening to Daniel and his bullshit, yeah that shit had sold me more albums than I ever thought possible but money was not everything and it sure as hell wasn't the only thing. Life was just to damn short to fuck it up with stupid bullshit like that.
“ Did you get in touch with Jared yet?” It had been three days since I had been thrown into lock up and I was yet to hear a word from him.
“ Yes.” Looking at his face as he said yes I could tell that something was off.
“ And?”
“ And he is with his friend at the hospital.”
“ Is that all he said?”
“ Jensen.”
“ Is that all he said?” My voice rose as I asked him again which caused the guard to give me a warning look.
“ No but I don't think this is the right time or place to be talking about this.”
“ Well fuck what you think.” I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did and in no way did I mean to disrespect Steve.
“ I'm sorry... I just seem to be pissing everyone off lately.”
He leaned over and grasped my shoulder as he spoke. “ I can only imagine how hard this has been on you Jensen.”
And as he spoke those words it was like all of my bottled up emotions came spilling out and I began to silently sob.
I only had my laptop left to get and then I would have been gone before he arrived but it was not to be as he entered the house and dropped his bag on the floor not noticing me yet. I watched as he went into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get a beer, I watched closely as the contours of his ass made itself clear as daylight and I instinctively licked my lips and drew in a breath which made him spring back up and quickly turn around looking stunned to see me there.
“ Jared.” He said taking a step closer towards me only to stop. “ I....” I cut him off before he could say anything else.
“ I am just here to get my stuff.” He didn't seem to surprised to hear it or at least that's what I thought from the expression on his face.
“ Where are you going?”
“ I am going to stay with Chris.” My voice held so much hostility that I even surprised myself.
He hung his head low and ran a hand over his face before looking up at me and in a quite voice he spoke. “ Please stay.”
“ I can't, Chris needs me right now.”
“ I didn't mean for it to happen Jared, I take full responsibility for what happened, I fucked up.” And I knew he thought he was being honest but by Christian's own words I knew that it was not only his fault and for once I wished that they would both stop trying to protect my feelings, I was a man for gods sake.
“ Yeah you did and my friend almost got killed, what the hell were you trying to prove Jensen?”
He looked like a lost little boy as he spoke. “ I don't know, I just don't want to see you get hurt. I know how hard you took it when Christian fucked you over.”
“ We are not involved Jensen, I told you that already.”
“ And I am not some fucking idiot Jared, I can read between the lines. Him kissing you like that, I can see what is on his mind and I don't like it one bit.”
“ So you try to bash his fucking head in?”
“ I went about it the wrong way.”
And I had to see how far I could take this, I needed to know the real reason why he did what he did.
“ So I ask again Jensen, what the hell were you trying to prove?”
“ I don't know, I was just...” And on the verge of hearing his answer we were interrupted by his mobile going off and I silently cursed under my breath as he went to answer it.
Watching him move bought me to a sense of peace, I was so familiar with every part of him that it was down right scary, I probably knew Jensen better than he knew himself. Just then he looked up at me with a smile that was supposed to look real but it actually looked pitiful as he tried to rush who ever was on the other end of the phone.
After about twenty minutes he hung up and ran over to the TV and turned it on to fox news.
“ Oh my god that's you.” I said as a broadcast from earlier on in the day began to play. Jensen was walking down the precinct steps with Steve on one side and a heavyset man on the other, the press surrounded him asking question after question.
“ Did you intend to kill Mr Kane?”
“ Was this a publicity stunt gone bad?”
“ Was this a part of a love triangle?” And as the questions got more demanding and stupid, Jensen and Steve made their exit into a waiting BENZ and as they pulled away the newscaster carried on speaking.
“ This is just another incident in a long line of strange behaviour that Mr Ackles has displayed, it seems as if our media attention has only served too boost his album sales as after this latest incident, 100,000 copies of his latest album were sold. The charges stemming from this attack have been dropped leaving his fans and the world alike waiting to see what he will do next.”
Jensen shut off the TV before the reporter finished and fell back on to the sofa, hands in his lap and his head hanging low.
This was my opportunity to walk out and not look back but I couldn't leave him here in this condition. I walked over to him and carefully placed my hand on his shoulder and to my surprise he gently grabbed and held my hand between his own.
“ I need you Jared, I can't do this alone.... you are the only one I can turn to...” And as his words trailed off I knew that I would be unpacking my things just as soon as he would let me.
I felt guilty about promising Chris that I would stay with him and then turning around and changing my mind but he seemed to be taking it well.
“ You have to do what you have to do.”
“ Chris...” He must have have noticed the guilt on my face because he leaned into me and kissed my cheek before speaking.
“ Don't worry about it Jared, he probably needs you more than I do.”
There was no venom in his voice when he spoke, something that actually surprised me.
“ Why didn't you tell the truth when the police asked what happened?”
“ Wow that was unexpected.”
“ I know.”
“ Because as strange as it may sound, I could see that he only had your best interest at heart and besides I kind of provoked him into hitting me.”
“ That does not mean that you deserved what happened to you Chris.”
“ Of course not but I still did not have the right to say what I said to him and if I am honest with you and myself I will admit that I did it to deliberately provoke the hell out of him.”
He did not tell me what he had said to Jensen but did ask me to stay for one night which I agreed to and I spent the night nursing his wounds and allowing myself to feel that human warmth that I had been missing for a while now. And of course every time I tried to fall asleep, I was awakened by Christian's constant erection poking me in the ass, after about an hour of this I decided to tell him that we really needed to sleep in separate beds.
“ OK, I'll stop but you feel so good and besides when was the last time you got thoroughly fucked?”
“ Come on Chris.”
“ What, it is a legit question, you are tense Jared I can feel it.” He then began to massage my shoulders while spooning me and I had to admit that it felt good, better than good. I allowed myself to fall into that trap again and responded to his touching by pushing my ass back into his erection.
“ Getting into it?”
“ Shut up before I change my mind.” And that was all it took for him to get me on my back.
“ You're going to enjoy this so much that you will wonder how you survived without it.” He said as he slowly made his way down to my boxers using his tongue on my stomach and as he approached my crotch he bit down on my skin hard.
“ Shit Chris, what the hell are you trying to do?” I said as I pushed him off me hard, sat up and curled my arms around my knees.
“ Sorry, I thought you would enjoy that, my doctor didn't seem to mind it.”
“ Tell me you didn't.”
“ Bit I did.”
“ Ugg.” I grunted before getting off of the bed and searching for my pants.
“ What's the matter?”
“ What's the matter, Jesus Chris what the hell is wrong with you, you have been out of the hospital for less than a day and already you are acting like a slut.”
“ But I am Jared and I am not afraid to admit it.” I stopped what I was doing and turned to face him, he had this huge grin on his face which made me burst out laughing.
“ Your an ass, you know that.” And even though I tried to come across as serious all I ended up doing was adding fuel to his fire.
“ Thank you, now will you get that nice little ass of yours back in this bed before I do it for you.”
“ I can't have sex with you Chris, I thought I could bit I can't.”
He seemed resigned to the fact that we would not be doing anything but spoke anyway. “ I know, poor baby does not want to cheat on his love, I didn't expect you to Jared, we will just cuddle.”
I gave him a look of doubt at his words.
“ Really, we will just hold each other and pretend we just had mind blowing sex, it's the best I can do for you.”
“ OK, but no funny business and no teasing, also no talking about who you have had sex with lately.”
“ Fine but don't get mad if I fall into a coma from this boring exchange.”
“ Oh shut up and go to sleep.” I said as I climbed in next to him and let sleep take me.
October 12th 2015
He walked through the door looking all frazzled and it reminded me of my one to many one night stands and I was suddenly feeling jealous but I could not understand why, he seemed surprised to see me up at this hour and his face flushed as he looked at me.
“ Morning.” I said watching his every move.
“ Morning, your up early.”
“ Your home late, I was wondering what happened to you last night.” I tried my best not to sound like his father but I knew that was how I was sounding.
“ I tried to call you but the machine kept picking it up.” I looked over at the phone and saw the message light blinking.
“ Oh.” Was the only response I could come up with.
“ I really tried to get you but even your mobile was off, you know I would never not come home and not call you.” And I should have told him that he did not have to explain but as strange as it may have seemed, I enjoyed the fact that he felt he needed to explain himself to me, like I was an important part of his life.
“ I know... I just...” Even though I knew what I wanted to say, the words would just not come out.
“ I am going to take a shower then head to the studio, do you want to come along?”
“ I think I will pass.” He said as he looked at his watch and yawned, he seemed so tired and I wondered what he had kept himself busy doing last night, the thought alone gave me a headache.
“ No problem... maybe I will see you later?”
“ Definitely, I have a meeting with Steve about resuming work so I should see you then and maybe we could go for dinner or drink after?”
“ Yeah OK, we will do that.” With that I left but I still had so many questions on my mind.
“ From the top Jensen.”
“ What the fuck for?” The music stopped and the producer opened the door to the recording room.
“ Because I said so, you sound like shit so everyone should take a ten minute break.” I watched as the room dispersed and folded my arms across my chest.
“ You want to talk about it?”
“ No.”
“ Fine but you need to adjust that attitude of yours and you need to adjust it now, we have an album to make and nobody here wants to spend the whole god damn year making it.”
Any response I might have had stopped cold as I realized the reality of what he was saying.
“ I know you are going through a lot of shit right now with the bad press but that's what it means to be a celebrity, you just have to roll with the punches.”
“ I am just under a lot of stress right now, the pressure to get the new album out right now, it's just wearing me down and I think I need a break.”
“ And I agree with you, why don't you finish this session and then take a few days off. Go to Baja or something, bring a girl with you and get laid.”
The idea alone had my mouth watering, I had not been away in god knows how long.
“ I think I am going to do just that.”
“ And which lovely lady will you be taking?”
“ I have not even decided if I am going to take anyone with me.”
“ Well all the better, why bring sand to the beach right.” He laughed and patted me on the back as he walked away and as the crew came back in I thought about asking Jared to come with me.
“ I don't know Jen, I already told Steve that I would start back to work on Monday.”
“ So... I will call him up and tell him your busy, this is just what we need Jared to get back on track.”
“ I have to think about it.”
“ Well you have till four this afternoon because I have a flight to Tijuana then on to Guadalupe Island.”
The look on his face seemed to hold so much hope that I could not say no to him.
“ OK but we can only stay till Tuesday OK, I have a meeting with Cardine about her upcoming photo shoot with OK magazine.”
He walked up to me and hugged me as he spoke. “ This is going to be the trip of a lifetime Jared, we are going to chill and get back on track, I promise you that.”
Long after he had left the living room I was still standing there trying to get my feelings under control, what could be more romantic than a trip to an exotic island, and what the hell would stop me from falling to my knees and once again telling him how much I loved him. As all of these thoughts were swimming around in my mind I could not help but wish that these were different times and different circumstances.
“ So you're going to go?”
“ Yes Chris.”
“ Are you going to be OK?”
“ With what?”
“ With being there with him, it's such a beautiful place and I don't want you to get caught up in the moment only to be rejected again.”
“ I won't, I have already told myself that I would only continue my relationship with Jensen on a platonic level.” Even though I sounded convincing enough there was nothing further from the truth.
“ OK if you say so but be careful.”
“ OK I will, I have to go, the flight is at four but I will be sure to send you a postcard.”
“ Only if your not too busy fucking.”
“ Chris.”
“ OK... I just had to get that one out there, I'm sorry.”
“ Alright, I will talk to you when I get back, bye Chris.”
“ See you when you get back Jared.”
Over the high skies I took the opportunity to look out my window and was in awe at the sight below me, you would have thought that I would be used to flying but no matter how many times I did it I still amazed myself by being surprised at the beauty of it all. I looked over at Jared and noticed that he was asleep, he looked so peaceful, so at ease and I realized that this was the first time I had seen him asleep, he looked so innocent, so pure and I wondered not for the first time how I could have ever treated him the way I did. He wanted nothing bit the best for me asking for nothing in return, it was as if he was my guardian angel, always taking care of me and here I sat knowing in my heart that I could not give him what he wanted, what he needed. Then I thought is it that you can't give him what he needs or you won't give him what he needs. I shook that thought away as there was so much at stake, so much that I had worked hard for, Jared knew that and as the captain told us we were free to roam the cabin I wondered if that would ever change. Could I really give him what he needed, would it be worth it. I didn't want to think about it, not now anyway and even though I knew I would have to deal with it eventually, this week was not the time and Guadalupe Island was definitely not the place.
Chapter Six