i havent updated in over a month, and reading back on my last entries makes me disgusted with myself. Saying about how i'm "changing my ways" and i want "support". I didnt change my ways, its like i kept telling myself i changed so that way, maybe it would be real. I still havent fully changed my ways, and at least i can admit that now

Since the ( Read more... )

i pretty much just fucked up my second chance with you, and i haven't slept all night, thinking about SAT's tomorrow, and whats going to happen afterward. yesturday was pretty much the worst day ive ever had in a long time ( Read more... )

everything now, i must say, is truely and utterly fucked over and i'm still here,waiting to get fucked over again. why do i keep coming back to you? why do you keep coming back for me? to me, we were nothing that special. I didnt feel as if i could love you for the rest of my life, but im in high school, and high school your ment to date around, ( Read more... )

im starting off clean, ive changed the past year, i wish i was still 15. everything was different, everything so calm, and care-free

im changing, my ways for the better, and it would help to have support

i just finished watching a movie i rented, and i felt like writing in my livejournal for some apparent reason. Im done with caring about people, who dont care about me. I try so hard, to make things better between everyone. I try so hard to make everyone happy, and in the end im unhappy with myself.

the only people you need in your life, are the ( Read more... )

i want to find someone who will give me that over the top, nervous, shaking, butterfly feelings in my stomach again. I think its time, no more hookups, done with that, im not looking for that anymore. That was fantastic for the last month or so, but im ready for phone calls at 9 each night again, ready for the week day hang outs. i feel fantastic ( Read more... )

for some reason thinking of you with another girl, just makes me want to cry and through up. Im over you, but for some reason i could never stand looking at you with another girl. I wouldn't say im jealous, i just i don't know, i would feel digusted by it. Ive been with other people since you, and i wonder if it makes you want to through up too? i ( Read more... )

theirs to much ive done, that time can't earse. i firgured the only way to make things a little better is just to leave everything in the past, everything. start off fresh.  i applied to dounkin donuts yesturday, i hope they call me back, cause ive been at shaw farm for about a year and a couple months now, and theirs nothing their for me anymore, ( Read more... )

well, this weekend was pretty intersting to say the least.
and i gave my number to a boy that never called, so much for giving you a 2nd chance eh?

putting my mistakes in the past isn't as easy as i thought it would be. Admitting to myself, that im not a skank( SOO SCANDOLOUS ), and that i wasn't the problem is harder then i thought. I have so many chances to take to have such better days, but i don't take them. to many guys wanting me to be with them, but i can't, im not ready, what is wrong ( Read more... )