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yeahshakira

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Sep 18, 2003 13:54

alright, time for an update....yeah, I'm really lonely.....I don't expect Matthew to be here constantly, but I guess its when he is gone for extended periods of time, that is when I get upset. I miss my Shiina Rinngo layout...stupid dark hosts. I know they only host shit for porn sites, but hey, it worked for a while, right? And my layout is on my ( Read more... )

Comments 12

anonymous September 18 2003, 17:23:58 UTC

hi vince. don't let feeling lonely get you too down. believe it or not, I felt really lonely at CMU during my freshman year too. everyone always talks about how exciting and cool it is to finally be at college and on your own, but really, you cant just switch gears without feeling some weird transitions. just remember you're not alone, and above all, just remind yourself that it takes TIME. even if you think you're all adjusted and everything is becoming normal, really, it takes TIME to develop new frienships and new routines.. it even takes the body 30 days just to adapt to a new physical environment ( ... )

yeahshakira September 18 2003, 18:52:04 UTC

Jen, yeah, thanks for the support. I know how tempermental i can be, and I feel a lot better. I really love the people here, especially the exchange students. Mariko and Yuta, both students from Japan, they are really nice and both cheered me up. Yeah, and doing my Japanese really helps. It keeps my mind off things and I'm happy doing Japanese. I just find myself studying for long periods of time after I have completed my share of the night's work. Yeah, I am looking into the exchange programs, possibly either next year or junior year. I want to go for a year. Yeah, anyways, I will talk to you soon, ciao!

ps- sorry about your fish. He is in a better place now!

It'll be ok anonymous September 19 2003, 03:20:50 UTC

Hey Vince, I am sorry to hear you are lonely. I had no idea Matthew spent the night in Orchard Hill.... I actually thought he hated climbing it so I don't usually ask him to stay with me to visit. I think sometime in the near future just you and I should hang out b/c you really only see me when I am with Matthew and I don't think it allows our friendship to grow that much. You are an awesome friend and I don't like seeing you get hurt by anything or anyone. I'll be around this entire weekend, so please feel free to get in touch with me to talk or hang around the dorm if you feel the need to express your feelings. I hope you feel a lot better. -Brittany

My kingdom for a... arylwyn September 19 2003, 06:42:03 UTC

I know that we haven't always been the closest of friends.
I'm not even really sure what you think of me, and that is okay.
I know we get along really well and I miss you like crazy believe it or not.
Vince, I don't know what this will truly mean to you...
You mean a lot to me, wheather you believe it or not. You are a wonerful, kind loving person. I really admire who you are. I honor your presenses. I really do. Not just as a friend, but as a respected spirit. You are one of the few people I truly trust and that says alot. YOU ARE WANTED. In the way a friend needs another friend. In the way a spirit needs another spirit. You feel and know things that others can't or ignore. You feel as I do. I take your hand now as your friend. I will be here whenever you need me. Feel free to call me anytime day or night. If you need to talk or just want to, or even if you just want to know there is someone on the other end, or need someone just to listen to you and not say anything, then just call. I really mean this. ALL of it.
Love

Re: My kingdom for a... yeahshakira September 19 2003, 09:14:06 UTC

You know, I'm really glad you responded. In fact, you are one of the few that ever responds, and that in itself means a lot to me....well, I can understand if I puzzle you, I guess my maintaining a mysterious state of ambivalence is a way of protecting myself. You know, you are probably one, with the exception of Alden, of the only people who I have met through Matthew that I really truly cherish and love. It is hard, because Matthew has this thing and he will get very protective of maintaining that you and Alden and everyone are his friends and its not as if he is saying I can't be friends with you on my own...but I guess he likes to feel like he has his own special treasure. No, I agree completely. Its rare to find many kindred spirits in one lifetime. I don't know the what the deal with Matthew is anymore, a lot of it feels almost jaded, the way he reacts to me, that is, the way I love and feel close to him hasn't changed a bit, well, that is if you don't count me feeling closer to him as a friend. Its hard, because...to me, I ( ... )

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yeahshakira September 19 2003, 21:04:03 UTC

yeah, all come up, you can spend the night here, we have lots of space, whether in my room or one of my friend's room in the same. Everyone is cool, its all good.

YAY!!! arylwyn September 22 2003, 06:38:52 UTC

I'm glad you told me what you did. I guess I wasn't really sure how you felt about me, but I'm glad that I do now. I have to work this weekend I believe so I might try to get out of it and come up or try for the weekend after that. Keep your head up love! I believe in you. YOUR friend and fellow spirit...

Re: YAY!!! yeahshakira September 22 2003, 09:38:44 UTC

Well, Matthew and I are actually probably coming home this weekend...so yeah..um, by the way, go to rose_revolution and leave a comment and I will add you...(its my new lj I just created which is friends only...)

Do me a favor?? arylwyn September 22 2003, 10:20:01 UTC

I don't know if Shana is coming home this weekend and I will more than likely not be able to go up, so can you do me a favor? If Shana isn't coming back would you think of taking Alden with you??? I haven't really talked to him about it yet, but I figured I ask. YAY!!!!!!! I'm so glad that you are coming home. I've missed you! We have so much that we should do together!!!!!!! *hugs*
Love