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[yellow_apple30]

my friend just had a baby girl. and for a moment, i allowed myself to get all caught up in it, and i sent her messages and commented on photos...and i just realized that she didn't even bother to call to let me know she was in labor. i had to find out on facebook. this was my friend, my best friend, when i lived in michigan. i lived with her for a

Comments

[laliatk]

**hug**

I've developed some sort of phone phobia too. It's weird.

Hang in there, give yourself time. You were extremely close with your mother, so this loss will take some time to deal with.

I hope things go well with your friend.

[yellow_apple30]

thanks. sigh. argh. i am not in a good place in my head right now, so i know i blow things way out of proportion and then make it worse by messing with it.

and yes, the phone sucks. why? how is it so different than other communication? i swear, it gives me hives.

[wildmagelet]

I know I rely terribly on my mum for friendship and support; I don't know what I would do without her and because I have her, I know I haven't always placed the necessary importance on my friendships with other women. I also find it hard with the depression - I feel lonely quite often, but at the same time I find it difficult to summon the motivation to actually put the effort in.

The point of this wasn't to seize the opportunity to talk about myself and run with it, but to try to say that I can understand to a certain extent and fully empathise with you. :)

[yellow_apple30]

thanks. i can see you get what it's like! i feel like an idiot sometimes blaming my problems on my Big Depression Problem. or on mom's leaving. it really does help to know i'm not the only one who struggles.

i need some healthy friendships with women. i seem to collect people with severe emotional issues, bad relationships, a refusal to make their life what they want it to be. misery-loves-company types. then when they do and say hurtful things to me, i'm all shocked and amazed. my friend who had the baby was really my one "normal" friend and i think i sabotaged it! argh!

Unfortunately I can relate to this

[ext_174229]

I feel exactly the same way, isn't that weird? I have a friend just like you described. We were "best friends" since we were four years old ... or at least that's how she tells it. She called me and made plans to get together with me over the years and I just took it for granted for some odd reason. She lives in California now. She was my maid of honor at my wedding. I just found out - on Facebook! - that she got engaged. Only in the past year or so have I come to realize just how much she means to me. And yet, most times when she calls me I don't answer. I don't know why. I hate talking on the phone! Texting is great. Email is great. But talking on the phone ... ugh. And yet I feel lonely a lot. I long for a best female friend or group of girlfriends like on tv shows and in books and movies ... but does that ever happen in real life? Not as an adult. Not in my experience. I feel like a freak. I desire intimacy and familiarity but am unwilling to put the time in to get there.

Re: Unfortunately I can relate to this

[yellow_apple30]

yeah, i am finding i am not the only one. i shouldn't be all shocked when she cuts me out and moves on to more in-contact friends. i think the group of friends does exist for some people. even on base, there are a few groups of women who seem to do everything and anything together. i just don't fit! argh! i'm sorry about your friend. funny how adult lives do not match at all what we thought, right?