010. Shiver
Heechul/Heechul
pg, 597 words
light but angsty, happens after 012, but ties in with 001
When I looked at myself in the mirror that morning, I felt a shiver run through me. I chalked it up to me being cold, and not having fear of going to the funeral. So I continued to get ready for this thing.
It's funny how life goes on without those two, without him. It's like I remember the times we had, but it also feels like they never happened. It's almost surreal, I feel like I'm going to the funeral of someone I did not know.
And the traffic is horrible. It appears that all of Korea, and most of other countries, decided to go to this funeral. It's almost scary of how many fans we have. And I feel that shiver again. I must be coming down with something, or maybe it's chilly outside? Whatever, thank goodness I left an hour early, or I would never get there.
And the moment of truth finally comes. As I eventually get there, I see a lot of the others huddled in a group hug bawling. I don't see Kibum though, and he is the one I wanted to stay near. I feel that shiver again, so I decided to hold myself, to stop feeling cold of course.
We all finally sit down and the funeral starts. A lot of celebrities are here, most are for him, but Jungsu has some too. It's too many, they're probably here for the publicity, the heartless bastards.
It's finally Suju's turn to talk. Sungmin was brave enough to go first. Hankyung looks like he would rather not go, Shiwon only has eyes for Hankyung, Donghae is a mess, and so is Hyukjae. Ryeowook is trying to hold back his tears, and Joongwoon looks like he's about to faint. But by the time I get to the others, Sungmin is asking for me to say a few words. So I stand up like it's no one business, and go to the front.
"Well, what do you want me to say? That I'm going to miss them both? Isn't that a given? Should I talk about the good times? Should I say they were jolly, good fellows? Huh? No answers? Well, isn't this great? Tell me, who's here because they actually care? Who's here because they actually miss these two? Who even knows their real name? If it weren’t for the news report, that answer would be very few. I'm here to tell all of ya, every last one of ya, to go to hell. All of ya, go to hell. I mean it. When you go home after this, what will you do? Will you cry, or will you ask your manager what's next on the agenda? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do, I'm going up to Soo Man, I'ma ask for my contract, and I'ma rip it up. That's what I'ma do. I quit this world of bright lights, since one of my dearest friends is dead, and another friend is too. Suju is not Suju when one or more are missing, and Kim Heechul is not Kim Heechul when Youngwoon-ah is gone. Oh, and have a nice day."
After my speech I didn't stick around to see the reactions. The shiver I had I now realized was from fear. Fear of what I might say. But now I feel free, free to do whatever it is Kim Heechul does when he has nothing to do. Buy some soju, find me a nice little bar, and drink my tears away. That's all I have left for myself, just myself, and soju.
pg, 597 words
light but angsty, happens after 012, but ties in with 001
When I looked at myself in the mirror that morning, I felt a shiver run through me. I chalked it up to me being cold, and not having fear of going to the funeral. So I continued to get ready for this thing.
It's funny how life goes on without those two, without him. It's like I remember the times we had, but it also feels like they never happened. It's almost surreal, I feel like I'm going to the funeral of someone I did not know.
And the traffic is horrible. It appears that all of Korea, and most of other countries, decided to go to this funeral. It's almost scary of how many fans we have. And I feel that shiver again. I must be coming down with something, or maybe it's chilly outside? Whatever, thank goodness I left an hour early, or I would never get there.
And the moment of truth finally comes. As I eventually get there, I see a lot of the others huddled in a group hug bawling. I don't see Kibum though, and he is the one I wanted to stay near. I feel that shiver again, so I decided to hold myself, to stop feeling cold of course.
We all finally sit down and the funeral starts. A lot of celebrities are here, most are for him, but Jungsu has some too. It's too many, they're probably here for the publicity, the heartless bastards.
It's finally Suju's turn to talk. Sungmin was brave enough to go first. Hankyung looks like he would rather not go, Shiwon only has eyes for Hankyung, Donghae is a mess, and so is Hyukjae. Ryeowook is trying to hold back his tears, and Joongwoon looks like he's about to faint. But by the time I get to the others, Sungmin is asking for me to say a few words. So I stand up like it's no one business, and go to the front.
"Well, what do you want me to say? That I'm going to miss them both? Isn't that a given? Should I talk about the good times? Should I say they were jolly, good fellows? Huh? No answers? Well, isn't this great? Tell me, who's here because they actually care? Who's here because they actually miss these two? Who even knows their real name? If it weren’t for the news report, that answer would be very few. I'm here to tell all of ya, every last one of ya, to go to hell. All of ya, go to hell. I mean it. When you go home after this, what will you do? Will you cry, or will you ask your manager what's next on the agenda? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do, I'm going up to Soo Man, I'ma ask for my contract, and I'ma rip it up. That's what I'ma do. I quit this world of bright lights, since one of my dearest friends is dead, and another friend is too. Suju is not Suju when one or more are missing, and Kim Heechul is not Kim Heechul when Youngwoon-ah is gone. Oh, and have a nice day."
After my speech I didn't stick around to see the reactions. The shiver I had I now realized was from fear. Fear of what I might say. But now I feel free, free to do whatever it is Kim Heechul does when he has nothing to do. Buy some soju, find me a nice little bar, and drink my tears away. That's all I have left for myself, just myself, and soju.