095. Drowning
No pairing, but surprise person from Suju
pg, 418 words
angst, character death
I guess life is supposed to end this way for me. At one moment I'm walking beside the Han River, the next I'm drowning in it.
I hope someone could remember that I went out for a walk and realized it's been hours so my body might be found. Or I might just get forgotten, like a part of a show that's been edited out. Maybe they can find my body before the bacteria do, and then they can identify it.
Or maybe no one would care. I mean I'm just one in 13, such a small fraction of the whole. And that whole thing about your life passing before your eyes? Bull. All I see is water with darkness surrounding it.
But since I'm well on my way to dieing, I guess I could reflect on today, or my life, or the tomorrow that might never come. I could reflect on how Teukie-hyung almost couldn't get out of bed due to his cold, or how Hankyung-hyung hovered around him to take care of him. I could reflect on how Donghae, Shiwon, and myself were going to be on some show tomorrow. Or maybe I could reflect on how it seemed like yesterday I was told I was going to be in Super Junior.
But reflecting takes too much time, of which I don't have, away, and I'm coming closer to death. My lungs burn with the effort to keep me alive, but my limbs are dead weights. I wish I were a dog, cause then I would just doggie paddle back to the shore, and all will end well.
And I think I hear a voice, or maybe it's mine voice trying to reach the surface in hopes someone would hear me. It matters not because river water doesn't taste as good as tap water. I guess it's not filtered, and I should know this, but when you are dieing nothing matters. Making sense, making it to work on time, making things work out, making it out of this situation, nothing matters.
The last thing I want to think about, before this ever-surrounding darkness takes hold, is that I want to mouth my name out, to let me know that I was important once upon a time. I want this darkness to know who I am from my own mouth, I want this river to know who it just killed, and I want the world out there to know who just died...
Annyeonghaseyo, Cho Kyu Hyun imnida.
pg, 418 words
angst, character death
I guess life is supposed to end this way for me. At one moment I'm walking beside the Han River, the next I'm drowning in it.
I hope someone could remember that I went out for a walk and realized it's been hours so my body might be found. Or I might just get forgotten, like a part of a show that's been edited out. Maybe they can find my body before the bacteria do, and then they can identify it.
Or maybe no one would care. I mean I'm just one in 13, such a small fraction of the whole. And that whole thing about your life passing before your eyes? Bull. All I see is water with darkness surrounding it.
But since I'm well on my way to dieing, I guess I could reflect on today, or my life, or the tomorrow that might never come. I could reflect on how Teukie-hyung almost couldn't get out of bed due to his cold, or how Hankyung-hyung hovered around him to take care of him. I could reflect on how Donghae, Shiwon, and myself were going to be on some show tomorrow. Or maybe I could reflect on how it seemed like yesterday I was told I was going to be in Super Junior.
But reflecting takes too much time, of which I don't have, away, and I'm coming closer to death. My lungs burn with the effort to keep me alive, but my limbs are dead weights. I wish I were a dog, cause then I would just doggie paddle back to the shore, and all will end well.
And I think I hear a voice, or maybe it's mine voice trying to reach the surface in hopes someone would hear me. It matters not because river water doesn't taste as good as tap water. I guess it's not filtered, and I should know this, but when you are dieing nothing matters. Making sense, making it to work on time, making things work out, making it out of this situation, nothing matters.
The last thing I want to think about, before this ever-surrounding darkness takes hold, is that I want to mouth my name out, to let me know that I was important once upon a time. I want this darkness to know who I am from my own mouth, I want this river to know who it just killed, and I want the world out there to know who just died...
Annyeonghaseyo, Cho Kyu Hyun imnida.