This is it

[yellowsubmarina]

The phrase blind sighted comes to mind.  Though it carries a negative connotation, it does not in this instance

Comments

[supergrom]

i can sympathize pretty well about losing a friend. it's kinda happened to me over the past....two years? it's hard, but sometimes it's not worth it for either party to keep trying.

or sometimes just not worth it for you. haha. either way, i'm glad you've come to terms with it. and that things are looking good for you.

p.s. -20lbs = sweet (in the most non-chauvinist way possible)