Myungyeol; PG-13; angst, somewhat romance.
Price Tags
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They gained a lot of attention over the summer. For every invitation they used to get, now they receive three more. Their fanmail doubled. The amount of presents tripled almost overnight. The mob of screaming girls as they pushed their way to the studios grows every day.
They always complain about it in the dorm. About the stalking schoolgirls and the bright flashes of the cameras that seem to follow them everywhere. They don’t do much about it, not even when Hoya furrows his eyebrows in frustration, or when Sungjong gets upset. Sungyeol knows well enough, that this is exactly what they signed up for. It’s the price they pay for glory.
When seeing their crying faces when he’s on stage, their pleading hands reaching out for him as they chant his name or raise his photos, he’s more than satisfied on his part of the bargain.
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When they’ll have a free evening, Myungsoo would read him funny articles or fanfictions that fans sent him, right before bed.
Sungyeol would lay on their shared futon, swinging his legs in air, listening to Myungsoo’s voice mixing with how the rain taps on their window.
The new bunk beds are going to arrive in a week or so, and right now, Dongwoo is preoccupying the only bed. (Both Sungyeol and Myungsoo insisted on it, although he said he didn’t mind sleeping on the futon.)
It’s somewhat comforting; cozy and warm. It feels like they have all the time in the world, and there’s no rush, and tomorrow won’t be a messy blur of crazy schedules that collide and stretch into the little hours of the night.
Sungyeol gets used to it too fast.
Sungyeol gets used to Myungsoo too fast. To the way he turns and twists at night and keeps him awake. To the way he mumbles nonsense in his sleep. To the way he can get distracted by his new earring or keep rubbing the beauty spot on his leg.
He remembers his friends from high-school, and looks on his phone expecting some kind of miracle to happen and for them to call. But these bastards traded their friendship with Sungyeol, long, long time ago, when they sold his childhood pictures to the reporters.
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Although now divided by real walls, they still leave their doors open. The seven of them come in and go freely in and out, because they’re not really used to privacy.
They still eat dinner all together in the living-room, chattering about the long day they had.
Christmas approaches and Sungyeol is sent to spend two blissful days with his family. On the ride there, he’s ecstatic, overjoyed by the little vacation and the fact that he finally can spend some time with his mom and bother his little brother.
As they sit there, by the festive dinner, Sungyeol gradually understands that he spent too much time away. His family got their own jokes and their own matters to attend to and their own problems. Sure, they still care about him and pester him with questions, but it’s not like they share his perspective on things, not like Hoya or Woohyun do. It’s a bit painful to acknowledge that the place he calls home is the dorm in Seoul. On the ride back, he’s almost rushing to get back to Sungjong’s scandals and Dongwoo’s snoring and Sunggyu’s commends.
Although they give them a day off, this time they all decide to celebrate New Years Eve together. They order in some food and Woohyun and Sunggyu make a cake. It turns out disastrous, and has shreds of egg shells inside of it. They even open a champagne bottle. They countdown together and stay up till late.
When they go to sleep, Myungsoo is a little drunk, and it’s funny how slurry his speech is and how he tumbles on Sungyeol’s bed and groans at him.
Dongwoo falls asleep in the span of seconds, so it’s dark and cold in the room.
There’s not much room on the lower bunk-bed, but they snuggle closely, and Myungsoo smells like champagne and chocolate as he gently strokes his arm.
Sungyeol wonder if he thinks that he’s asleep. But in the end it doesn’t matter.
When that happens, Sungyeol reminds himself that this is not his family, and this is not okay. Two years ago, these people were a bunch of utter strangers. He wants to believe that it's cheap, temporal warmth, which will never replace his family.
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Sungyeol had a girlfriend before he became a trainee.
He truly thought he loved her from the depths of his heart. First love and all that shit.
He still remembered their first kiss like it was magic.
He was away for barely two weeks, when her twitter got filled with pictures of her with this new guy; how they went to the mall together, and visited the aquarium and all the things Sungyeol couldn’t afford spending time or money on. It figures she didn’t call. He didn't confront her. Maybe he was too scared, maybe too hurt to deal with it. It was a hard time in the dorms as well, with everybody hating him the first two months.
He swears he’ll never love again. He swears nothing will get in his career, because his career was the only thing that held him in his place and made sure he didn’t break down.
So it’s not like that with Myungsoo.
It’s not like they promised anything to each other.
Sometimes Myungsoo kisses him, in the rush of the moment. Sometimes they go overboard and leave bite-marks on each other’s neck. Sometimes they slap and hit each other. Things happen. They say sorry, feel a bit awkward, and then continue with their life.
Before they go up stage on their first concert, they hold hands tightly. Myungsoo’s fingers are cold and sweaty. Sungyeol thinks he loves him when he looks at him the way he does, full of something that could never be contained or satisfied.
He’s scared, and doesn’t want to admit anything.
Love is expensive, he knows. The price he’ll pay for Myungsoo is too big to measure.
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I'm having a comeback with a sad drabble, yay!!! Hate me all you want, I deserve it ;~;
So, I wrote this around 2011, but a few weeks ago I reread it, and it was complete gibberish, so I fixed it up a notch, and it turned out like this.
I'm going to post a long oneshot (twoshot?) next week too, though less sad and with a special guest tadpole hehehe stayed tuned!
Here is a compensation/bribe of sexiness/just sexiness/he's sexy I can't help it/sungyeol for my laziness: