Memory Without a Name
Title: Memory Without a Name
Length: One-Shot
Words: 5,587 Words
Fandoms: SS501
Pairing: KyuSaeng
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Character Death
Summary: He was just like everyone else walking by on the street. Just another nameless face, busy in their own world. Yet when their eyes met… Why did he look so familiar?
A/N: Inspired by YoungSaeng’s solo, “Nameless Memory”, but not a songfic. For Carey unnie, whose computer has been very temperamental with her recently. Not-so-surprise, but surprise? XD Thanks to Kit for betaing!
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where reality ends and your dreams begin.
They were running, running down a long stone corridor barely lit by the flickering torches. They, because he could feel another hand clasped tightly in his own even though he couldn’t see the person he was with, turned down hallway after hallway. His heart hammered in his ears, a rush of panic filling him as the walls that he had been surrounded in all his life closed in on them. Crushing, squeezing every last breath of air out of his lungs.
His legs screamed, pain racing through the tired muscles as he forced them onward. They had to get out. If they were to slow down, they’d be caught.
If they were caught, they would die.
BAM!
KyuJong sat upright with such a start he fell right out of his chair, a yelp leaving him as his back hit the floor. “Ow…” Wincing, he sat up and blinked up at his co-worker, DongHae. The other male had slammed a pile of binders on the desk beside where KyuJong’s head had been only seconds ago, a wide grin threatening to split his face in two. From a few cubicles over, he could hear JungMin laughing his head off.
“Very funny,” KyuJong murmured with a sigh. It wasn’t his fault he kept falling asleep at work. His neighbors hardly shut up all night, how was one supposed to get any sleep with them yelling through the walls? Picking himself up, he flipped open the first binder DongHae had nearly dumped on his head.
“It was funny,” DongHae said, eyes wide and innocent. “JungMin told me to do it!” Which explained why said coworker had yet to shut up. Why did he have such weird friends?
“Besides, the boss is due to check in any moment now,” HyunJoong spoke up from the cubicle right beside KyuJong’s. “There’s a few bets going around on who’s going to get the boot. YeSung for tripping over thin air and knocking over the water machine,” he gestured to the male frantically trying to mop up the mess, “or you for falling asleep on the job three days in a row.”
“And like the good friends we are, we took it upon ourselves to wake you up,” JungMin called, between snickers and the sound of typing.
“Why do none of you so-called ‘good friends’ help me, then?” YeSung all but wailed.
“Because we help you out every other time you break something,” pointed out EunHyuk, walking by and precariously balancing a stack of papers so high he could barely see over them. “Which is eight times a day, if we’re lucky.”
KyuJong sighed and went back to the monotonous work. Wincing as YeSung tripped EunHyuk in revenge, and sent the stack of papers flying, he crossed his fingers and prayed that they’d get it all cleaned up before their boss came in and made them all stay over hours.
No such luck. After a long lecture, the department head ordered them all to work extra hours to make up for their lack of productivity. JungMin, of course, ditched. YeSung attempted to do the same, and was caught. KyuJong just went with it, figuring he was in enough trouble as it was.
In a way, it was a good thing his coworkers were so troublesome themselves; his sleeping habits didn’t stand out so much that way. Normally he woke up at the slightest noise, so sleeping at work where JungMin, YeSung and DongHae generally caused enough mayhem to wake up the whole city wasn’t possible. But ever since his new neighbors moved in a few weeks ago, his sleeping schedule had been rather messed up. Working on three hours of sleep or less for days on end wasn’t easy.
Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he left the building and waved goodbye to HyunJoong as the other headed off to home. He debated if he should head home as well, and then decided he should really try to eat first. It wasn’t as if he’d get much sleep back at the apartment anyways. Maybe he should rent a hotel room for the night? Anywhere was better than at the apartment, and he’d imposed on his friends enough.
It didn’t take long to find a small noodle vendor, and KyuJong sat down on one of the benches to eat. People rushed by, no one paying any attention to anyone else. Sometimes, he thought about the difference between the city and the country town where he’d grown up. Back home, everyone waved and smiled to those passing them by. They stopped and chatted all the time, because everyone knew everyone else. It had been such a friendly, small community. Here in the big city, where everyone was a stranger and it was rare to see a smile or hear a kind word, he rather missed the familiarity.
Sighing slightly, he raised his chopsticks to his mouth and paused, eyes focusing on one figure in the crowd, staring straight at him with confusion written all over his face. He was just like everyone else walking by on the street. It was just another nameless face, busy in their own world. Yet when their eyes met … There was a spark of recognition there. Why did he look so familiar?
Then, the moment was over. The man ducked his head and vanished into the mass of moving bodies, KyuJong staring after him for a moment before shrugging and going back to his noodles. Must have been one of his work’s old clients or something.
By the time he’d finished his noodles, he was ready to fall asleep standing. He stood and stretched, weighing the pros and cons of his earlier idea, he decided a night at an inn would definitely help him stay awake tomorrow.
Finding the cheapest inn that wasn’t infested with bugs or rotten through, KyuJong paid for a room and headed off to sleep. He was gone as soon as his head hit the pillow.
”I always wondered what the view from here was like…” That soft voice trailed off, fingertips pressing lightly to the glass pane separating them from the outside world. KyuJong’s eyes followed the line of the other’s hand, along the arm and to the person himself. He only had a view of the other’s back though, and long, black hair that brushed against shoulders.
“It’s very high up,” the other continued, in that voice that could have belonged to a girl. Walking over to join him, KyuJong peered out of the window, to see it really was high up. They were in one of the towers, one that was supposed to be restricted to his family only. The thought of denying his man his wish to see from the highest point in the whole fiefdom never crossed his mind though.
“Thank you for bringing me here. Your father would have both our heads if he knew.”
“Then he mustn’t find out, right?” KyuJong replied, smiling. He saw from the corner of his eyes that face turn, long locks of hair brushing his own they were so close. Even though he wasn’t looking, he could almost see the smile tugging on those lips. “You’re taking risks for me, my Lord,” the other said, not quite a question so much as a statement.
“I’m no lord yet,” was the quiet reply. “And I see nothing wrong with allowing my teacher the view from a window.” The man beside him laughed, such an uplifting sound he couldn’t help but smile in return
“Wow, you’re actually awake today!”
KyuJong gave EunHyuk a smile in return, absently typing up commands on the monitor. “I rented out a hotel room,” he admitted. “The neighbors really are too noisy.”
“You should move somewhere else,” HyunJoong commented, stretching. “They have some nice apartments not that far from here. The walls are pretty thick too, so the neighbors won’t keep you up at night. You’re such a light sleeper, it’ll be good for you.”
KyuJong nodded, not paying attention to what he was typing as he thought. It really would do him good to move. He couldn’t afford to keep renting hotel rooms.
“Actually, my roommate and I were looking for someone else to share our flat,” spoke up YeSung, walking by with his fifth cup of coffee. “It’s only ten minutes walk away from here, and in a pretty good part of town.”
“What happened to your old roommate?” DongHae questioned, half-hanging out of his chair as he waited for the papers he had been working on to print.
“He couldn’t deal with YeSung, most likely,” spoke up KiBum, walking in the door separating his department from theirs. “Hyung, the numbers are all wrong. You have every single one of them backwards.” He placed the papers YeSung had just sent to him back on the elder’s desk, walking away again with a long-suffering sigh.
“I don’t blame his old roommate for ditching,” HyunJoong commented. “Whoever he’s still with must have nerves of steel. Kyu, you’re pretty good with YeSung’s fail episodes. Why not take up on his offer?”
“My bets on a week,” JungMin joked.
“I think he’ll last a month,” EunHyuk replied, taking out a few paper bills and waving them around.
“I think he’ll be just fine.” Both of them stared at DongHae. “What?”
KyuJong shrugged. It really was the best offer he had. “When do I move in?”
“Swing by with your stuff tomorrow?” YeSung asked, then swore as he knocked over his coffee all over the papers KiBum had just brought back.
Already wondering if it was a good idea or not, KyuJong nodded. He could handle one more night of noisy neighbors.
Stretching the string back as far as he could, KyuJong sighted on the target and released. The arrow whizzed through the air and buried itself in the stack of hay, just short of the bulls-eye. A faint sigh left his lips as he tried again, drawing another arrow out of the quiver on his back and placing it to the bow.
Pale hands brushed against his arm, adjusting his stance. “Keep yourself steady, you’re shaking,” the other instructed quietly, then tapped the bow down slightly. “And you’re sighting too high. There’s not that much distance between the target and yourself.”
Obediently fixing his stance, KyuJong fired again, grinning as the arrow caught the bulls-eye. He watched his teacher stride over and examine the target. “Not bad, my Lord. All that’s left is to keep practicing until you can hit it every time without fail. Then we move on to farther targets.”
Lowering his bow, KyuJong bowed as the other turned to face him. “Thank you for being patient with me, Teacher.”
“It is my pleasure,” came that voice, that voice he’d grown so used to by now. “You have the talent, you just lack the confidence.” Straightening, his eyes met those of his teachers, the warmth in their black depths bringing a smile to his face.
As he placed the bow away carefully, KyuJong turned and nearly crashed into his teacher. “Oh, my apologies,” he murmured, bowing. The other smiled. “I was just leaving for a stroll, would you accompany me my Lord?”
KyuJong straightened at that, startled. It wasn’t every day a teacher was so friendly to him; they seemed to enjoy being as distant as they could. The intelligence in that face that wasn’t that much older than his own humbled him, and he nodded. Once again, KyuJong found himself smiling in return, enjoying the flash of happiness he saw in those eyes.
Perhaps his teacher had been just as lonely as he had been all this time.
“Ah, KyuJong, come in, come in!” YeSung waved him inside the flat, KyuJong taking off his shoes when inside and holding his bags off the floor. HyunJoong helped him bring the rest of the bags inside; he didn’t have many belongings, mostly big articles that were awkward to carry by himself, so he’d enlisted the help of his friend.
“Your room’s right here,” YeSung said, taking one of the bags and showing them towards the empty room. KyuJong smiled at his coworker and went to place his bags down. HyunJoong did the same, then wandered out to talk to YeSung.
Looking around his new room, KyuJong decided it was small, but very livable. And the silence was an improvement over his old apartment any day.
Spotting a closed door to his right, KyuJong assumed it was for a closet, and walked over to open it. To his surprise, it was actually a connecting door between two rooms.
The room beyond was dimly light, and he could see someone curled up on the bed reading. Said person looked up when KyuJong opened the door, and he winced. “Sorry, I thought this was for a closet.”
“It’s alright,” the male on the bed. The soft voice sent off alarms in the back of his head. He was sure he’d heard that voice before.
“Ahah, here you are, being antisocial.” YeSung had appeared in the other doorway that lead to the rest of the flat, leaning on the doorframe. “How can you even read in the dark?” Reaching over, he flipped on the switch, flooding the room with bright light.
KyuJong blinked away the spots in his vision, looking back at the person on the bed. Then froze. “Teacher?” He blurted, without thinking.
The other looked back at him, and those black eyes widened slightly. There was a long pause, both of them staring at each other. A faint trace of recognition appeared in those dark orbs.
“Um, hello? Earth to both of you?” Snapping out of his trance, KyuJong looked at YeSung, who was looking amused. “Teacher? What’s that all about, Saeng?”
“I have no idea,” the male on the bed, Saeng, replied as he picked up the book he had dropped. “I’ve never seen him before in my life.”
Right there, KyuJong knew it was a lie. But he couldn’t figure out where he’d seen the other before. So he kept silent, wondering what was getting into him lately. Those dreams must really be getting to him.
“Either way, Saeng, this is KyuJong. Kyu, this is YoungSaeng, my roommate and old-time friend.” YoungSaeng inclined his head politely, but he didn’t look KyuJong in the eyes again.
“Guys, we should get to work,” HyunJoong spoke up. “We’re running out of time.” YeSung looked at the clock and darted out of the room to get ready. There was a loud crash from elsewhere in the flat, and a yelp of pain.
From the corner of his eyes KyuJong saw YoungSaeng muffle his laughter in his book. Smiling without even knowing it, he went back into his own room to get ready.
”What is wro-“
The words froze on his lips as soon as he’d opened the door to his room, eyes widening. The other’s hair was covering the upper part of his face, but nothing could hide the trail of red dripping down one cheek. In a trance, KyuJong half-reached to touch that soft skin, before snapping himself out of it and pulling the older male into his room, all formalities put aside.
“What happened, Teacher?” he asked, getting the silent male to sit on a chair as he hurried about gathering whatever bandages he could find. Those black eyes, always shining with warmth and happiness, were blank, and it scared him. Because this man should never look so … Void of life.
His teacher shook his head, gaze firmly on the floor. KyuJong came over and knelt beside him, ignoring the faint noise of protest as he brushed away the blood from the others cheek. The cut was deep, marring the skin that looked far too pale for someone who taught archery.
“Who did this to you?” KyuJong asked, but once again he got no answer from the other.
When the cut was cleaned and covered, he remained where he was, trying to outlast the other. “Teacher, please,” he almost pleaded with the older man. “Whoever it is, I can have them taken care of. Just give me something, anything to work with.” No one should hurt him like this.
Finally the other lifted his gaze off the floor, and the great sadness he saw reflected in those eyes nearly choked him. The smile his teacher gave was small, and so shaky. Like it could shatter any moment.
Without even thinking, he leaned forward, brushing their lips together lightly. The other gave a start, jerking away and staring at him. KyuJong opened his mouth, nothing coming out. Scrambling for something to say, he nearly choked on his own words. “Your … Your smile,” he managed to get out, not able to look away from those surprised eyes. “I just wanted to … You won’t tell me what happened…”
“I am your teacher, my Lord,” the other spoke carefully. “This isn’t… If your father were to find out…”
“Then he mustn’t find out, right?” KyuJong replied, the words coming out before he even registered them. He had no way of knowing if the other was even interested, but recently his view of his teacher had been changing, and it was impossible to ignore. Sometimes, he wondered if the same feelings were present in his teacher’s warm eyes, that always seemed so overjoyed to see him.
There. There it was, that smile he had wanted to see. “You take such risks for me, my Lord,” came the quiet reply, warmth once again flooding those eyes. Feeling his own face stretch into a smile, he hesitantly reached up to brush the other’s black hair out of his eyes.
“Call me my real name,” KyuJong spoke, heart doing flips in his chest as their eyes met. His teacher hesitated for a brief moment, then lowers his head so their lips could meet, sending sparks through the young Lords body.
“… KyuJong.”
When KyuJong walked into the kitchen, he came to a stop when he saw YoungSaeng already there, a hoodie pulled over his head and sleepily working on designing something at the kitchen table. YeSung had explained to him that his roommate was a fashion designer, and came up with many new styles that ended up in major brand stores. Apparently working on designs at odd times of the day was nothing new.
The other lifted his eyes and their gaze met. All traces of sleep left them with a jolt, and YoungSaeng sat up straight. “Good morning,” he said, but there was a trace of uneasiness in his voice as he gathered up his papers.
Confused, and fighting off the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach, KyuJong walked over. “Morning,” he replied. “Did you eat already?” At YoungSaeng’s nod, he fished for something to talk about. He hadn’t had a proper conversation with the other yet, and it was bothering him how he had constantly been making up excuses the past week he’d lived here to not talk to him. There was absolutely no reason for him to feel so nervous all the time; they didn’t even know each other. Though sometimes he thought the nervousness was mutual; YoungSaeng hardly seemed to stay in the same room as him for long, unless YeSung was there and urged them both to talk to each other.
“Can I see?” He questioned, motioning to the papers YoungSaeng had just been about to make off with. The other hesitated, then showed them to him. KyuJong leaned over to see better, doing his best not to focus on the fresh, minty scent lingering around his roommate. The designs were clean, and very interesting. YoungSaeng obviously had a talent with this; even though the designs weren’t anything KyuJong had seen before in stores, he could easily see them becoming very trendy when put out on shelves.
“They look great,” he said with a smile, and YoungSaeng smiled faintly in return. “I have to finish them all for this Thursday,” the other commented, fixing the papers in a neat pile. “These, and three more designs.”
“Do you have any in mind already?” KyuJong asked, interested. YoungSaeng nodded. The awkward atmosphere between them completely disappeared, as the older male turned toward the other with a warm shine in his eyes. “Want to see some of my old designs?”
KyuJong agreed instantly, and as he followed the other towards his room, he got the strangest feeling of déjà vu. It only lasted a moment, and he shook it off quickly. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he’d done this before.
”Are they gone?”
“They’re gone.”
KyuJong all but fell over in relief. That had been close, far too close. If he had been one second slower in hiding them, the soldier patrolling the hallways could have seen them both. And their secret would be out. No amount of bribery would keep another’s mouth shut, not when it was the lord’s son in question. The lord’s son, in a relationship with one of his teachers. Not only that… But another man.
Arms wrapped around his neck, and he was pulled down into another quick kiss before the other male stepped away, looking around the room KyuJong had pulled him into. “Where are we?”
“My father’s study,” KyuJong replied, motioning to the papers and documents stacked on the desk. “Only he, his personal servant, and myself have the key.”
“Another restricted room,” his young teacher murmured, before turning back to KyuJong. “How many are there?”
“Many,” KyuJong said with a laugh. “Most of them have important papers and treasures inside. For our family only.”
“And you have the keys to them all?”
“Most of them, and it’s relatively easy for me to get the others.” KyuJong smiled at the other. “Why so curious, Teacher?”
The other shrugged. “It is normal to be curious about things one doesn’t know,” came the reply, before the older male leaned against him lightly. KyuJong wrapped his arms around his lover’s frame, resting his cheek against those soft locks of hair. His teacher smelt like crushed mint leaves, and he inhaled it deeply, memorizing it.
“I truly love you, KyuJong…”
“I love you too…”
“WOAH! What the hell was that?”
KyuJong watched, amused, as YeSung narrowly avoided getting an arrow through his arm. The archer, a grinning JungMin, turned back to the real targets and resumed firing while whistling innocently. A few targets down, EunHyuk had dropped his bow for the fifth time, this time nearly getting himself in the foot. Archery was not his forte.
Their entire corner of the department had gotten the day off, and the others had decided they needed to celebrate somehow. Archery hadn’t been at the top of his list, but it was definitely better than clubbing in his opinion. And as long as JungMin didn’t actually nail anyone, it was actually quite fun.
YoungSaeng and his friend HyungJoon watched from the sidelines, perched up on the wooden fence with their feet dangling. KyuJong laughed as HyungJoong stretched and nearly fell off the other side of his perch, before returning his gaze to his own target.
His arrow fell just short of the bulls-eye. Frowning, he tried again. Same thing. He knew he should be proud of himself, considering most of the others weren’t even getting the target (whether the official targets or targets they picked out themselves), but something in him just wasn’t satisfied with nearly getting it.
Hands touched his arm as he was about to try again, and startled he nearly let go of the string. Looking to see who it was, he saw YoungSaeng had come up beside him without him noticing.
“Here, try it like this,” the other said, adjusting his stance and aim. KyuJong looked back at the target, releasing with a dull thwack.
The arrow thudded right into the bulls-eye. DongHae shouted in surprise, and everyone cheered, impressed. KyuJong grinned, feeling content, and glanced back over at YoungSaeng to thank him.
When their eyes met, a jolt ran through him again, the warmth in those eyes and the scent of mint in the air nearly overwhelming him. YoungSaeng’s own eyes widened, and he gave a quick congratulations before backing away, returning to HyungJoon on the fence.
KyuJong watched him right until JungMin grabbed him in a cheerful headlock, and the playful struggle that ensued drove the incident straight out of his mind. For the time being.
”Teacher…?”
Staring at the man held between two guards, KyuJong directed his gaze to his father angrily. “What is this about, father? What has my archery teacher done to be treated like this?”
“What has he done?” The older man spat out, levering his sword at the captive man’s chest. KyuJong’s heart jumped into his throat, and he nearly forgot himself to knock it away. Restraining himself, barely, he stared at his father. The hatred in that man’s eyes was all-consuming.
“This teacher is nothing more than a spy,” his father spoke, the words cutting KyuJong to the core. “He was found looking through important files in my study.”
Instinctively, KyuJong pressed one hand to the pouch where he kept the keys to various parts of the castle. A few were missing. No, no, it couldn’t be…
He looked at his teacher, hanging limply and bound hands and feet. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. There was all the confirmation he would ever need.
“You lied to me.” The accusation made his teacher flinch, and finally look up. Tormented black eyes met his own, so filled with pain.
“There was one thing I never lied about,” his teacher said quietly. KyuJong looked away, pain twisting his insides and burning behind his eyes. He didn’t watch as the man was dragged away.
Walking back into the flat after work, KyuJong’s blood nearly froze as YoungSaeng looked up from his designs and their eyes locked. The air between them seemed to freeze, becoming impossible to breathe. Each inhale hurt his lungs, and his eyes burned.
Ignoring the other’s pleading gaze, he excused himself and retreated to his room. The good mood he’d had seconds ago had all but shattered, and he hadn’t the faintest idea why.
Dumping his bag on his bed, he looked back at the door as YeSung appeared. “What’s gotten into you?” The other asked, frowning.
“It’s nothing,” KyuJong replied, because he had no reason to be acting this way. All he knew was that, in that split second he had met YoungSaeng’s eyes, it had hurt.
“You sure?” YeSung asked, and KyuJong nodded. “Just… Can I have a moment?” For once, YeSung didn’t press him and left. Sighing and sitting on the edge of his bed, KyuJong rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. Maybe he should start taking sleeping pills; the dreams were really getting to him.
Opening the steel door with a clank, he looked down at the man curled up against the wall. The other lifted his head tiredly, but the second their eyes met, he woke up completely. “What are you doing here?” He asked shakily.
“What does it look like?” KyuJong strode in, keys for the others chains already in one hand. Kneeling beside him, he unlocked the chains around his wrists and feet, rubbing at the chaffed skin.
His teacher watched him, slightly wary and confused. “Why?” he whispered, as if afraid if he spoke too loud, KyuJong would chain him up again and leave.
“Because I believe in the one thing you didn’t lie to me about,” KyuJong replied firmly, his mind already made up. The older male stared at him. “I bribed a stable boy to have two horses saddled and ready for us. I hid packs with provisions there as well. We’ll take them and head for the border, there’s enough in the packs to last us until then-“
The other male cut him off, nearly tackling him to the ground and kissing him. The desperation in the kiss flooded through KyuJong’s body, and he clung to his lover with all the strength he could muster. He loved this man, and no matter what his teacher had lied about, he knew he loved him too. And that was all that mattered. He wasn’t going to stay here and wait to be married off to some rich duchess, not when he’d found someone who loved him sincerely and he loved in return.
Finally ending the kiss, he pulled the other to his feet. “Hurry,” he whispered, kissing him quickly again before pulling him out of the room and past the guard he’d knocked out. Once they were out in the hallways, they broke into a run. Just as shouts echoed down the corridor behind them.
“Earth to KyuJong, anyone there?”
KyuJong looked up at HyunJoong, who was watching him with a frown. “You’re not back to falling asleep on the job, are you? I thought you were sleeping better now at YeSung’s place.”
KyuJong nodded. “I am,” he lied. He had been sleeping better, but recently his sleep had been disturbed by those dreams. The almost hectic pace disrupted his day, making him edgy and nervous sometimes and tired the rest of the day. Sleeping pills didn’t help; they seemed to come regardless of what he did to stop them.
“Try some coffee,” YeSung suggested, walking by with a cup. KyuJong shook his head, smiling faintly.
Turning back to his work, he jumped as his phone vibrated. Ignoring the look HyunJoong gave to him, he checked subtly to see what it was. YoungSaeng was calling.
He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he pressed the button to ignore the call and pushed his phone back into his pocket. He couldn’t talk to him now, not with these thoughts milling about his head. It just wasn’t possible.
Pretending he didn’t notice YeSung and HyunJoong watching him, KyuJong went back to work, ignoring the twist of pain as his phone vibrated over and over.
His back hit the cold, unforgiving brick wall, as he watched the soldiers come closer, swords raised. The male beside him squeezed his hand, meaning to reassure him, but the shaking fingers gave away his fear. There was nowhere else to go, and his father wasn’t looking at all forgiving. Their time was up.
“I’m disappointed in you, KyuJong. Your loyalty to your family is as low as a peasants.”
The torchlight reflected off the raised blades, as KyuJong tried to press himself as far into the brick as he could. No, no. It couldn’t end like this. Not when he finally felt free for the first time in years. Not when they’d been about to escape and start a new life together, one without lies and social standings. Not when he’d finally admitted to himself, this man who had posed as his teacher was closer to his heart than anyone else ever was, or ever could be.
”Kyu, can you promise me something?” His lover asked softly, as the soldiers came closer. “Anything,” came the whispered reply, eyes on those sharp blades.
“Promise me that we’ll see each other again.”
”How?” He questioned, swallowing thickly.
“Just, promise me?”
“I promise.”
“I love you, KyuJong.”
Stabs of pain, dripping red … Darkness.
“No!”
Sitting up quickly, KyuJong’s eyes flew open as he gasped for breath. His body moved automatically, not even bothering to stop from the vertigo of suddenly sitting up. Racing across the room, he reached the connecting door and flung it open.
Crashing headlong into someone else, he fell over with a yelp. Supporting himself so he wouldn’t squash the person under him, he winced and opened his eyes. YoungSaeng stared up at him, and even in the non-existent lighting, he could see tears in the corners of those black eyes.
Then they were kissing, desperation lacing the air around them as YoungSaeng wrapped his arms tightly around his body, trying to press as close as he could. KyuJong sat up and pulled the older male into his arms, cradling his head with one hand and weaving shaking fingers into those soft locks. Gasping for breath, they clung to each other, lips pressing together so hard they were sure to bruise.
“KyuJong… I’m so sorry… KyuJong…”
Tears sprang to his eyes at those broken words, breaking the kiss and holding YoungSaeng as close as he could, as if he could mesh them together into one person if he tried.
“Saeng… All this time… All this time, it was…” He swallowed thickly, pulling away just enough so he could look into the others eyes. “I don’t know… What that was. I don’t understand any of it.”
But at the same time… The idea of losing this man again…
It hurt so much he thought he could die from the pain.
“Neither do I…” YoungSaeng whispered. “But I can’t bear it… If that were to happen again.”
Again. It had happened before. It had all happened before.
“I promised, didn’t I?” KyuJong spoke softly. “I promised that we’d meet again.”
YoungSaeng smiled shakily, eyes overbright with tears but filled with joy. “You did,” he replied, giving a watery chuckle.
KyuJong kissed him again, a sweet kiss this time, one which YoungSaeng gladly returned.
Lets start over, and create that new story we were denied last time.
And this time, no one is going to get in our way.
Length: One-Shot
Words: 5,587 Words
Fandoms: SS501
Pairing: KyuSaeng
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Character Death
Summary: He was just like everyone else walking by on the street. Just another nameless face, busy in their own world. Yet when their eyes met… Why did he look so familiar?
A/N: Inspired by YoungSaeng’s solo, “Nameless Memory”, but not a songfic. For Carey unnie, whose computer has been very temperamental with her recently. Not-so-surprise, but surprise? XD Thanks to Kit for betaing!
Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where reality ends and your dreams begin.
They were running, running down a long stone corridor barely lit by the flickering torches. They, because he could feel another hand clasped tightly in his own even though he couldn’t see the person he was with, turned down hallway after hallway. His heart hammered in his ears, a rush of panic filling him as the walls that he had been surrounded in all his life closed in on them. Crushing, squeezing every last breath of air out of his lungs.
His legs screamed, pain racing through the tired muscles as he forced them onward. They had to get out. If they were to slow down, they’d be caught.
If they were caught, they would die.
BAM!
KyuJong sat upright with such a start he fell right out of his chair, a yelp leaving him as his back hit the floor. “Ow…” Wincing, he sat up and blinked up at his co-worker, DongHae. The other male had slammed a pile of binders on the desk beside where KyuJong’s head had been only seconds ago, a wide grin threatening to split his face in two. From a few cubicles over, he could hear JungMin laughing his head off.
“Very funny,” KyuJong murmured with a sigh. It wasn’t his fault he kept falling asleep at work. His neighbors hardly shut up all night, how was one supposed to get any sleep with them yelling through the walls? Picking himself up, he flipped open the first binder DongHae had nearly dumped on his head.
“It was funny,” DongHae said, eyes wide and innocent. “JungMin told me to do it!” Which explained why said coworker had yet to shut up. Why did he have such weird friends?
“Besides, the boss is due to check in any moment now,” HyunJoong spoke up from the cubicle right beside KyuJong’s. “There’s a few bets going around on who’s going to get the boot. YeSung for tripping over thin air and knocking over the water machine,” he gestured to the male frantically trying to mop up the mess, “or you for falling asleep on the job three days in a row.”
“And like the good friends we are, we took it upon ourselves to wake you up,” JungMin called, between snickers and the sound of typing.
“Why do none of you so-called ‘good friends’ help me, then?” YeSung all but wailed.
“Because we help you out every other time you break something,” pointed out EunHyuk, walking by and precariously balancing a stack of papers so high he could barely see over them. “Which is eight times a day, if we’re lucky.”
KyuJong sighed and went back to the monotonous work. Wincing as YeSung tripped EunHyuk in revenge, and sent the stack of papers flying, he crossed his fingers and prayed that they’d get it all cleaned up before their boss came in and made them all stay over hours.
No such luck. After a long lecture, the department head ordered them all to work extra hours to make up for their lack of productivity. JungMin, of course, ditched. YeSung attempted to do the same, and was caught. KyuJong just went with it, figuring he was in enough trouble as it was.
In a way, it was a good thing his coworkers were so troublesome themselves; his sleeping habits didn’t stand out so much that way. Normally he woke up at the slightest noise, so sleeping at work where JungMin, YeSung and DongHae generally caused enough mayhem to wake up the whole city wasn’t possible. But ever since his new neighbors moved in a few weeks ago, his sleeping schedule had been rather messed up. Working on three hours of sleep or less for days on end wasn’t easy.
Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he left the building and waved goodbye to HyunJoong as the other headed off to home. He debated if he should head home as well, and then decided he should really try to eat first. It wasn’t as if he’d get much sleep back at the apartment anyways. Maybe he should rent a hotel room for the night? Anywhere was better than at the apartment, and he’d imposed on his friends enough.
It didn’t take long to find a small noodle vendor, and KyuJong sat down on one of the benches to eat. People rushed by, no one paying any attention to anyone else. Sometimes, he thought about the difference between the city and the country town where he’d grown up. Back home, everyone waved and smiled to those passing them by. They stopped and chatted all the time, because everyone knew everyone else. It had been such a friendly, small community. Here in the big city, where everyone was a stranger and it was rare to see a smile or hear a kind word, he rather missed the familiarity.
Sighing slightly, he raised his chopsticks to his mouth and paused, eyes focusing on one figure in the crowd, staring straight at him with confusion written all over his face. He was just like everyone else walking by on the street. It was just another nameless face, busy in their own world. Yet when their eyes met … There was a spark of recognition there. Why did he look so familiar?
Then, the moment was over. The man ducked his head and vanished into the mass of moving bodies, KyuJong staring after him for a moment before shrugging and going back to his noodles. Must have been one of his work’s old clients or something.
By the time he’d finished his noodles, he was ready to fall asleep standing. He stood and stretched, weighing the pros and cons of his earlier idea, he decided a night at an inn would definitely help him stay awake tomorrow.
Finding the cheapest inn that wasn’t infested with bugs or rotten through, KyuJong paid for a room and headed off to sleep. He was gone as soon as his head hit the pillow.
”I always wondered what the view from here was like…” That soft voice trailed off, fingertips pressing lightly to the glass pane separating them from the outside world. KyuJong’s eyes followed the line of the other’s hand, along the arm and to the person himself. He only had a view of the other’s back though, and long, black hair that brushed against shoulders.
“It’s very high up,” the other continued, in that voice that could have belonged to a girl. Walking over to join him, KyuJong peered out of the window, to see it really was high up. They were in one of the towers, one that was supposed to be restricted to his family only. The thought of denying his man his wish to see from the highest point in the whole fiefdom never crossed his mind though.
“Thank you for bringing me here. Your father would have both our heads if he knew.”
“Then he mustn’t find out, right?” KyuJong replied, smiling. He saw from the corner of his eyes that face turn, long locks of hair brushing his own they were so close. Even though he wasn’t looking, he could almost see the smile tugging on those lips. “You’re taking risks for me, my Lord,” the other said, not quite a question so much as a statement.
“I’m no lord yet,” was the quiet reply. “And I see nothing wrong with allowing my teacher the view from a window.” The man beside him laughed, such an uplifting sound he couldn’t help but smile in return
“Wow, you’re actually awake today!”
KyuJong gave EunHyuk a smile in return, absently typing up commands on the monitor. “I rented out a hotel room,” he admitted. “The neighbors really are too noisy.”
“You should move somewhere else,” HyunJoong commented, stretching. “They have some nice apartments not that far from here. The walls are pretty thick too, so the neighbors won’t keep you up at night. You’re such a light sleeper, it’ll be good for you.”
KyuJong nodded, not paying attention to what he was typing as he thought. It really would do him good to move. He couldn’t afford to keep renting hotel rooms.
“Actually, my roommate and I were looking for someone else to share our flat,” spoke up YeSung, walking by with his fifth cup of coffee. “It’s only ten minutes walk away from here, and in a pretty good part of town.”
“What happened to your old roommate?” DongHae questioned, half-hanging out of his chair as he waited for the papers he had been working on to print.
“He couldn’t deal with YeSung, most likely,” spoke up KiBum, walking in the door separating his department from theirs. “Hyung, the numbers are all wrong. You have every single one of them backwards.” He placed the papers YeSung had just sent to him back on the elder’s desk, walking away again with a long-suffering sigh.
“I don’t blame his old roommate for ditching,” HyunJoong commented. “Whoever he’s still with must have nerves of steel. Kyu, you’re pretty good with YeSung’s fail episodes. Why not take up on his offer?”
“My bets on a week,” JungMin joked.
“I think he’ll last a month,” EunHyuk replied, taking out a few paper bills and waving them around.
“I think he’ll be just fine.” Both of them stared at DongHae. “What?”
KyuJong shrugged. It really was the best offer he had. “When do I move in?”
“Swing by with your stuff tomorrow?” YeSung asked, then swore as he knocked over his coffee all over the papers KiBum had just brought back.
Already wondering if it was a good idea or not, KyuJong nodded. He could handle one more night of noisy neighbors.
Stretching the string back as far as he could, KyuJong sighted on the target and released. The arrow whizzed through the air and buried itself in the stack of hay, just short of the bulls-eye. A faint sigh left his lips as he tried again, drawing another arrow out of the quiver on his back and placing it to the bow.
Pale hands brushed against his arm, adjusting his stance. “Keep yourself steady, you’re shaking,” the other instructed quietly, then tapped the bow down slightly. “And you’re sighting too high. There’s not that much distance between the target and yourself.”
Obediently fixing his stance, KyuJong fired again, grinning as the arrow caught the bulls-eye. He watched his teacher stride over and examine the target. “Not bad, my Lord. All that’s left is to keep practicing until you can hit it every time without fail. Then we move on to farther targets.”
Lowering his bow, KyuJong bowed as the other turned to face him. “Thank you for being patient with me, Teacher.”
“It is my pleasure,” came that voice, that voice he’d grown so used to by now. “You have the talent, you just lack the confidence.” Straightening, his eyes met those of his teachers, the warmth in their black depths bringing a smile to his face.
As he placed the bow away carefully, KyuJong turned and nearly crashed into his teacher. “Oh, my apologies,” he murmured, bowing. The other smiled. “I was just leaving for a stroll, would you accompany me my Lord?”
KyuJong straightened at that, startled. It wasn’t every day a teacher was so friendly to him; they seemed to enjoy being as distant as they could. The intelligence in that face that wasn’t that much older than his own humbled him, and he nodded. Once again, KyuJong found himself smiling in return, enjoying the flash of happiness he saw in those eyes.
Perhaps his teacher had been just as lonely as he had been all this time.
“Ah, KyuJong, come in, come in!” YeSung waved him inside the flat, KyuJong taking off his shoes when inside and holding his bags off the floor. HyunJoong helped him bring the rest of the bags inside; he didn’t have many belongings, mostly big articles that were awkward to carry by himself, so he’d enlisted the help of his friend.
“Your room’s right here,” YeSung said, taking one of the bags and showing them towards the empty room. KyuJong smiled at his coworker and went to place his bags down. HyunJoong did the same, then wandered out to talk to YeSung.
Looking around his new room, KyuJong decided it was small, but very livable. And the silence was an improvement over his old apartment any day.
Spotting a closed door to his right, KyuJong assumed it was for a closet, and walked over to open it. To his surprise, it was actually a connecting door between two rooms.
The room beyond was dimly light, and he could see someone curled up on the bed reading. Said person looked up when KyuJong opened the door, and he winced. “Sorry, I thought this was for a closet.”
“It’s alright,” the male on the bed. The soft voice sent off alarms in the back of his head. He was sure he’d heard that voice before.
“Ahah, here you are, being antisocial.” YeSung had appeared in the other doorway that lead to the rest of the flat, leaning on the doorframe. “How can you even read in the dark?” Reaching over, he flipped on the switch, flooding the room with bright light.
KyuJong blinked away the spots in his vision, looking back at the person on the bed. Then froze. “Teacher?” He blurted, without thinking.
The other looked back at him, and those black eyes widened slightly. There was a long pause, both of them staring at each other. A faint trace of recognition appeared in those dark orbs.
“Um, hello? Earth to both of you?” Snapping out of his trance, KyuJong looked at YeSung, who was looking amused. “Teacher? What’s that all about, Saeng?”
“I have no idea,” the male on the bed, Saeng, replied as he picked up the book he had dropped. “I’ve never seen him before in my life.”
Right there, KyuJong knew it was a lie. But he couldn’t figure out where he’d seen the other before. So he kept silent, wondering what was getting into him lately. Those dreams must really be getting to him.
“Either way, Saeng, this is KyuJong. Kyu, this is YoungSaeng, my roommate and old-time friend.” YoungSaeng inclined his head politely, but he didn’t look KyuJong in the eyes again.
“Guys, we should get to work,” HyunJoong spoke up. “We’re running out of time.” YeSung looked at the clock and darted out of the room to get ready. There was a loud crash from elsewhere in the flat, and a yelp of pain.
From the corner of his eyes KyuJong saw YoungSaeng muffle his laughter in his book. Smiling without even knowing it, he went back into his own room to get ready.
”What is wro-“
The words froze on his lips as soon as he’d opened the door to his room, eyes widening. The other’s hair was covering the upper part of his face, but nothing could hide the trail of red dripping down one cheek. In a trance, KyuJong half-reached to touch that soft skin, before snapping himself out of it and pulling the older male into his room, all formalities put aside.
“What happened, Teacher?” he asked, getting the silent male to sit on a chair as he hurried about gathering whatever bandages he could find. Those black eyes, always shining with warmth and happiness, were blank, and it scared him. Because this man should never look so … Void of life.
His teacher shook his head, gaze firmly on the floor. KyuJong came over and knelt beside him, ignoring the faint noise of protest as he brushed away the blood from the others cheek. The cut was deep, marring the skin that looked far too pale for someone who taught archery.
“Who did this to you?” KyuJong asked, but once again he got no answer from the other.
When the cut was cleaned and covered, he remained where he was, trying to outlast the other. “Teacher, please,” he almost pleaded with the older man. “Whoever it is, I can have them taken care of. Just give me something, anything to work with.” No one should hurt him like this.
Finally the other lifted his gaze off the floor, and the great sadness he saw reflected in those eyes nearly choked him. The smile his teacher gave was small, and so shaky. Like it could shatter any moment.
Without even thinking, he leaned forward, brushing their lips together lightly. The other gave a start, jerking away and staring at him. KyuJong opened his mouth, nothing coming out. Scrambling for something to say, he nearly choked on his own words. “Your … Your smile,” he managed to get out, not able to look away from those surprised eyes. “I just wanted to … You won’t tell me what happened…”
“I am your teacher, my Lord,” the other spoke carefully. “This isn’t… If your father were to find out…”
“Then he mustn’t find out, right?” KyuJong replied, the words coming out before he even registered them. He had no way of knowing if the other was even interested, but recently his view of his teacher had been changing, and it was impossible to ignore. Sometimes, he wondered if the same feelings were present in his teacher’s warm eyes, that always seemed so overjoyed to see him.
There. There it was, that smile he had wanted to see. “You take such risks for me, my Lord,” came the quiet reply, warmth once again flooding those eyes. Feeling his own face stretch into a smile, he hesitantly reached up to brush the other’s black hair out of his eyes.
“Call me my real name,” KyuJong spoke, heart doing flips in his chest as their eyes met. His teacher hesitated for a brief moment, then lowers his head so their lips could meet, sending sparks through the young Lords body.
“… KyuJong.”
When KyuJong walked into the kitchen, he came to a stop when he saw YoungSaeng already there, a hoodie pulled over his head and sleepily working on designing something at the kitchen table. YeSung had explained to him that his roommate was a fashion designer, and came up with many new styles that ended up in major brand stores. Apparently working on designs at odd times of the day was nothing new.
The other lifted his eyes and their gaze met. All traces of sleep left them with a jolt, and YoungSaeng sat up straight. “Good morning,” he said, but there was a trace of uneasiness in his voice as he gathered up his papers.
Confused, and fighting off the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach, KyuJong walked over. “Morning,” he replied. “Did you eat already?” At YoungSaeng’s nod, he fished for something to talk about. He hadn’t had a proper conversation with the other yet, and it was bothering him how he had constantly been making up excuses the past week he’d lived here to not talk to him. There was absolutely no reason for him to feel so nervous all the time; they didn’t even know each other. Though sometimes he thought the nervousness was mutual; YoungSaeng hardly seemed to stay in the same room as him for long, unless YeSung was there and urged them both to talk to each other.
“Can I see?” He questioned, motioning to the papers YoungSaeng had just been about to make off with. The other hesitated, then showed them to him. KyuJong leaned over to see better, doing his best not to focus on the fresh, minty scent lingering around his roommate. The designs were clean, and very interesting. YoungSaeng obviously had a talent with this; even though the designs weren’t anything KyuJong had seen before in stores, he could easily see them becoming very trendy when put out on shelves.
“They look great,” he said with a smile, and YoungSaeng smiled faintly in return. “I have to finish them all for this Thursday,” the other commented, fixing the papers in a neat pile. “These, and three more designs.”
“Do you have any in mind already?” KyuJong asked, interested. YoungSaeng nodded. The awkward atmosphere between them completely disappeared, as the older male turned toward the other with a warm shine in his eyes. “Want to see some of my old designs?”
KyuJong agreed instantly, and as he followed the other towards his room, he got the strangest feeling of déjà vu. It only lasted a moment, and he shook it off quickly. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he’d done this before.
”Are they gone?”
“They’re gone.”
KyuJong all but fell over in relief. That had been close, far too close. If he had been one second slower in hiding them, the soldier patrolling the hallways could have seen them both. And their secret would be out. No amount of bribery would keep another’s mouth shut, not when it was the lord’s son in question. The lord’s son, in a relationship with one of his teachers. Not only that… But another man.
Arms wrapped around his neck, and he was pulled down into another quick kiss before the other male stepped away, looking around the room KyuJong had pulled him into. “Where are we?”
“My father’s study,” KyuJong replied, motioning to the papers and documents stacked on the desk. “Only he, his personal servant, and myself have the key.”
“Another restricted room,” his young teacher murmured, before turning back to KyuJong. “How many are there?”
“Many,” KyuJong said with a laugh. “Most of them have important papers and treasures inside. For our family only.”
“And you have the keys to them all?”
“Most of them, and it’s relatively easy for me to get the others.” KyuJong smiled at the other. “Why so curious, Teacher?”
The other shrugged. “It is normal to be curious about things one doesn’t know,” came the reply, before the older male leaned against him lightly. KyuJong wrapped his arms around his lover’s frame, resting his cheek against those soft locks of hair. His teacher smelt like crushed mint leaves, and he inhaled it deeply, memorizing it.
“I truly love you, KyuJong…”
“I love you too…”
“WOAH! What the hell was that?”
KyuJong watched, amused, as YeSung narrowly avoided getting an arrow through his arm. The archer, a grinning JungMin, turned back to the real targets and resumed firing while whistling innocently. A few targets down, EunHyuk had dropped his bow for the fifth time, this time nearly getting himself in the foot. Archery was not his forte.
Their entire corner of the department had gotten the day off, and the others had decided they needed to celebrate somehow. Archery hadn’t been at the top of his list, but it was definitely better than clubbing in his opinion. And as long as JungMin didn’t actually nail anyone, it was actually quite fun.
YoungSaeng and his friend HyungJoon watched from the sidelines, perched up on the wooden fence with their feet dangling. KyuJong laughed as HyungJoong stretched and nearly fell off the other side of his perch, before returning his gaze to his own target.
His arrow fell just short of the bulls-eye. Frowning, he tried again. Same thing. He knew he should be proud of himself, considering most of the others weren’t even getting the target (whether the official targets or targets they picked out themselves), but something in him just wasn’t satisfied with nearly getting it.
Hands touched his arm as he was about to try again, and startled he nearly let go of the string. Looking to see who it was, he saw YoungSaeng had come up beside him without him noticing.
“Here, try it like this,” the other said, adjusting his stance and aim. KyuJong looked back at the target, releasing with a dull thwack.
The arrow thudded right into the bulls-eye. DongHae shouted in surprise, and everyone cheered, impressed. KyuJong grinned, feeling content, and glanced back over at YoungSaeng to thank him.
When their eyes met, a jolt ran through him again, the warmth in those eyes and the scent of mint in the air nearly overwhelming him. YoungSaeng’s own eyes widened, and he gave a quick congratulations before backing away, returning to HyungJoon on the fence.
KyuJong watched him right until JungMin grabbed him in a cheerful headlock, and the playful struggle that ensued drove the incident straight out of his mind. For the time being.
”Teacher…?”
Staring at the man held between two guards, KyuJong directed his gaze to his father angrily. “What is this about, father? What has my archery teacher done to be treated like this?”
“What has he done?” The older man spat out, levering his sword at the captive man’s chest. KyuJong’s heart jumped into his throat, and he nearly forgot himself to knock it away. Restraining himself, barely, he stared at his father. The hatred in that man’s eyes was all-consuming.
“This teacher is nothing more than a spy,” his father spoke, the words cutting KyuJong to the core. “He was found looking through important files in my study.”
Instinctively, KyuJong pressed one hand to the pouch where he kept the keys to various parts of the castle. A few were missing. No, no, it couldn’t be…
He looked at his teacher, hanging limply and bound hands and feet. He wouldn’t meet his eyes. There was all the confirmation he would ever need.
“You lied to me.” The accusation made his teacher flinch, and finally look up. Tormented black eyes met his own, so filled with pain.
“There was one thing I never lied about,” his teacher said quietly. KyuJong looked away, pain twisting his insides and burning behind his eyes. He didn’t watch as the man was dragged away.
Walking back into the flat after work, KyuJong’s blood nearly froze as YoungSaeng looked up from his designs and their eyes locked. The air between them seemed to freeze, becoming impossible to breathe. Each inhale hurt his lungs, and his eyes burned.
Ignoring the other’s pleading gaze, he excused himself and retreated to his room. The good mood he’d had seconds ago had all but shattered, and he hadn’t the faintest idea why.
Dumping his bag on his bed, he looked back at the door as YeSung appeared. “What’s gotten into you?” The other asked, frowning.
“It’s nothing,” KyuJong replied, because he had no reason to be acting this way. All he knew was that, in that split second he had met YoungSaeng’s eyes, it had hurt.
“You sure?” YeSung asked, and KyuJong nodded. “Just… Can I have a moment?” For once, YeSung didn’t press him and left. Sighing and sitting on the edge of his bed, KyuJong rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. Maybe he should start taking sleeping pills; the dreams were really getting to him.
Opening the steel door with a clank, he looked down at the man curled up against the wall. The other lifted his head tiredly, but the second their eyes met, he woke up completely. “What are you doing here?” He asked shakily.
“What does it look like?” KyuJong strode in, keys for the others chains already in one hand. Kneeling beside him, he unlocked the chains around his wrists and feet, rubbing at the chaffed skin.
His teacher watched him, slightly wary and confused. “Why?” he whispered, as if afraid if he spoke too loud, KyuJong would chain him up again and leave.
“Because I believe in the one thing you didn’t lie to me about,” KyuJong replied firmly, his mind already made up. The older male stared at him. “I bribed a stable boy to have two horses saddled and ready for us. I hid packs with provisions there as well. We’ll take them and head for the border, there’s enough in the packs to last us until then-“
The other male cut him off, nearly tackling him to the ground and kissing him. The desperation in the kiss flooded through KyuJong’s body, and he clung to his lover with all the strength he could muster. He loved this man, and no matter what his teacher had lied about, he knew he loved him too. And that was all that mattered. He wasn’t going to stay here and wait to be married off to some rich duchess, not when he’d found someone who loved him sincerely and he loved in return.
Finally ending the kiss, he pulled the other to his feet. “Hurry,” he whispered, kissing him quickly again before pulling him out of the room and past the guard he’d knocked out. Once they were out in the hallways, they broke into a run. Just as shouts echoed down the corridor behind them.
“Earth to KyuJong, anyone there?”
KyuJong looked up at HyunJoong, who was watching him with a frown. “You’re not back to falling asleep on the job, are you? I thought you were sleeping better now at YeSung’s place.”
KyuJong nodded. “I am,” he lied. He had been sleeping better, but recently his sleep had been disturbed by those dreams. The almost hectic pace disrupted his day, making him edgy and nervous sometimes and tired the rest of the day. Sleeping pills didn’t help; they seemed to come regardless of what he did to stop them.
“Try some coffee,” YeSung suggested, walking by with a cup. KyuJong shook his head, smiling faintly.
Turning back to his work, he jumped as his phone vibrated. Ignoring the look HyunJoong gave to him, he checked subtly to see what it was. YoungSaeng was calling.
He wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he pressed the button to ignore the call and pushed his phone back into his pocket. He couldn’t talk to him now, not with these thoughts milling about his head. It just wasn’t possible.
Pretending he didn’t notice YeSung and HyunJoong watching him, KyuJong went back to work, ignoring the twist of pain as his phone vibrated over and over.
His back hit the cold, unforgiving brick wall, as he watched the soldiers come closer, swords raised. The male beside him squeezed his hand, meaning to reassure him, but the shaking fingers gave away his fear. There was nowhere else to go, and his father wasn’t looking at all forgiving. Their time was up.
“I’m disappointed in you, KyuJong. Your loyalty to your family is as low as a peasants.”
The torchlight reflected off the raised blades, as KyuJong tried to press himself as far into the brick as he could. No, no. It couldn’t end like this. Not when he finally felt free for the first time in years. Not when they’d been about to escape and start a new life together, one without lies and social standings. Not when he’d finally admitted to himself, this man who had posed as his teacher was closer to his heart than anyone else ever was, or ever could be.
”Kyu, can you promise me something?” His lover asked softly, as the soldiers came closer. “Anything,” came the whispered reply, eyes on those sharp blades.
“Promise me that we’ll see each other again.”
”How?” He questioned, swallowing thickly.
“Just, promise me?”
“I promise.”
“I love you, KyuJong.”
Stabs of pain, dripping red … Darkness.
“No!”
Sitting up quickly, KyuJong’s eyes flew open as he gasped for breath. His body moved automatically, not even bothering to stop from the vertigo of suddenly sitting up. Racing across the room, he reached the connecting door and flung it open.
Crashing headlong into someone else, he fell over with a yelp. Supporting himself so he wouldn’t squash the person under him, he winced and opened his eyes. YoungSaeng stared up at him, and even in the non-existent lighting, he could see tears in the corners of those black eyes.
Then they were kissing, desperation lacing the air around them as YoungSaeng wrapped his arms tightly around his body, trying to press as close as he could. KyuJong sat up and pulled the older male into his arms, cradling his head with one hand and weaving shaking fingers into those soft locks. Gasping for breath, they clung to each other, lips pressing together so hard they were sure to bruise.
“KyuJong… I’m so sorry… KyuJong…”
Tears sprang to his eyes at those broken words, breaking the kiss and holding YoungSaeng as close as he could, as if he could mesh them together into one person if he tried.
“Saeng… All this time… All this time, it was…” He swallowed thickly, pulling away just enough so he could look into the others eyes. “I don’t know… What that was. I don’t understand any of it.”
But at the same time… The idea of losing this man again…
It hurt so much he thought he could die from the pain.
“Neither do I…” YoungSaeng whispered. “But I can’t bear it… If that were to happen again.”
Again. It had happened before. It had all happened before.
“I promised, didn’t I?” KyuJong spoke softly. “I promised that we’d meet again.”
YoungSaeng smiled shakily, eyes overbright with tears but filled with joy. “You did,” he replied, giving a watery chuckle.
KyuJong kissed him again, a sweet kiss this time, one which YoungSaeng gladly returned.
Lets start over, and create that new story we were denied last time.
And this time, no one is going to get in our way.