お帰り [Welcome Home] - Chapter Nine
Title: お帰り [Welcome Home]
Authors: curionenene and yeonah
Chapter: 9/?
Fandom: SS501
Pairings: KyuMin, HyunSaeng
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Angst, AU
Summary: Black and white... white and black. It isn't always possible to tell what is good and what is evil; and four players in the never-ending fight for freedom would know. In a world where things are painted by shades of grey, taking a stand could mean life or death. And the struggle to be free, truly free, may tear them apart until there is nothing left but ash.
A/N: KyuJong and HyunJoong are played by curionenene , while JungMin and YoungSaeng are played by yeonah .
Updates will be on Tuesdays from now on (yay we have a schedule~ \o/)
As well, Curione drew an AMAZING and FUNNY drawing of KyuMin for this roleplay, which I think you should all check out and spaz about HERE! Also, if you haven't seen it before, she also drew an adorably cute HyunSaeng drawing a while back <3
Stretching with a silent yawn, YoungSaeng opened his eyes and was met with a faceful of cotton. Blinking sleepily, he took a quick stock of what was going on and discovered he was still in his cat form, curled up on the bed next to a knocked-out HyunJoong. Pushing his face out of the hunter's shirt, the kitten looked up at his master for a moment and debated what to do.
He was sorely tempted to just...lie there. Knowing HyunJoong, he would be out cold for a few more hours at least if YoungSaeng did nothing to wake him up. And because he was half-asleep, the felinefolk could admit to himself that he was very comfortable where he was. Maybe a bit too comfortable. HyunJoong was like a human heater, and the earthy scent the man gave off was soothing. If he didn't move soon, he might never move at all.
And they really needed to head to HQ soon...after they deal with finishing the marks. Great, he'd forgotten about that.
Grudgingly getting up, YoungSaeng padded quietly further up the bed to see if the marks were still present on HyunJoong's neck and collar. They were, and even more prominent than before if that was possible. That part was good at least...
A cat sigh escaped YoungSaeng as he jumped off the bed and headed into the bathroom to shower, giving HyunJoong as much time to sleep as possible. Shifting back into his human form, YoungSaeng stepped into the shower and turned on the water, letting it beat down on him. Like any cat, YoungSaeng hated water, but tolerated showers because it soothed him.
A few minutes later he stepped out, brushing dripping locks of hair out of his eyes and shaking the worst of the water off his tail and ears before wrapping a towel around his waist. Sighing faintly, YoungSaeng leaned against the counter and looked at himself in the mirror, one hand slowly tracing the scar that ran around his neck. He allowed his golden eyes to shift into a human brown before ruefully poking at one cat ear. Things would have turned out different in so many ways if he could hide what he was as easily as the others...if he wasn't the runt of the litter.
But as much pain as his handicap had brought him, it had also brought HyunJoong to him...and the first real sense of companionship the felinefolk had felt in years.
Having fallen asleep with a problem chewing at his mind, for one of the few times in his life, HyunJoong woke up by himself. He yawned loudly, stretching out in a bid to chase away the tiredness from his body and shook his head in a manner that perhaps would befit a dog rather than a human. Then, rubbing his face, he pushed himself off the bed, blinking away the tears that came with wakefulness with a lazy manner.
He sighed as the events of last night came to him, and his hands immediately went to his neck, looking down at the marks that YoungSaeng had made on him. Well, those looked pretty good…one hurdle down…and one much more difficult to go.
But then he realized what had roused him from his usually deep sleep and paused, a thoughtful look slowly forming. He had the beginnings of an idea…and it was unusual to say the least…but perhaps…it just might work.
Sighing after a long moment, YoungSaeng finished drying himself and changed into a sleeveless shirt and one of the jeans with a hole in the back for his tail. While they would need to go to HQ later, for some reason YoungSaeng felt like keeping his cat traits visible. Most of the time he hid them whenever going to Hunter Headquarters, but it wasn't like everyone didn't know what he was either way.
Padding into HyunJoong's room after deciding just to let his hair dry naturally, YoungSaeng blinked when he saw the human was already wake. That was rare. "Hey."
“Hey to you too…” HyunJoong replied slowly before looking up at the felinefolk and smiling, patted a spot on the bed for the felinefolk to sit. “I’ve got an idea…want me to run it by you so you can tell me if it’s feasible?”
Raising an eyebrow curiously, YoungSaeng nodded and tried not to think about what HyunJoong's last idea had been. They still needed to finish with that, but any distraction was good for him. The felinefolk padded over and sat down next to his master, looking over at him curiously and waiting for the man to say what was on his mind.
“It’s about our little problem from last night…” HyunJoong continued once YoungSaeng was comfortably settled. “Would it make you feel better if I blindfolded myself and tied my hands behind my back while I…marked you?”
Now that he had gotten some sleep, his ability to control the raging blush that had been rampant last night was a lot stronger, and so the red in his cheeks was now barely noticeable. “I mean…at least that way you wouldn’t feel like…I was taking advantage of you or something…and in a way you’d be the one in charge because, well, you’re gonna have to direct me on where to…er…mark.”
Jerking back slightly at the suggestion, YoungSaeng blinked at HyunJoong with wide eyes. Seriously? He'd never even thought of that idea. It was still contact, that alone setting YoungSaeng on edge, but like HyunJoong's earlier idea of him marking his master as a kitten, it seemed to make it...less stressful to deal with. The felinefolk tried to imagine how that would work, and had to struggle to hide a blush, but it was definitely sitting better with him than dealing with all those memories that he had thought would swallow him for sure.
"It...would help, I think..." he mumbled, looking down at his tail curled around his frame and resting in his lap. "But...are you alright with that?" It wasn't just him uncomfortable with this. Wouldn't the blindfold and restrains be a bit too much?
Truthfully…the idea didn’t exactly thrill HyunJoong. He hated being out of control of any situation, and for him to do this might surface unwanted memories that he had long buried in his subconscious. But he couldn’t think of any alternative, nor could he bear the thought of him punishing YoungSaeng in front of all those bastards. And it was these reasons that pushed him to go along with his idea. Besides, he was pretty sure he could keep the memories at bay as long as he focused on the task. “Yeah… I trust you.”
YoungSaeng chewed on his lower lip for a long moment, thinking and trying to ignore the warm feeling those words gave him, before nodding slowly. "Alright...we should get it over with now then, because we'll need to leave for HQ soon," he said quietly, shifting awkwardly before looking around for something they could use as a blindfold and restrains.
Standing up to get a strip of bandages when he figured those might work, he paused, looking back at HyunJoong. "Why don't...we not tie your hands?" he asked hesitantly. "If you just keep them clasped behind you, that might be enough...or keep them tied very loosely...” He didn't like tying people up unless it was needed.
HyunJoong tilted his head and shrugged. “Whichever you’re more comfortable with YoungSaeng. I’m fine with either.”
Obviously, he would prefer not to have his hands tied, but…this was YoungSaeng being put into a vulnerable position. Not him. And he would do anything to reassure the felinefolk that he wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation.
Thinking, YoungSaeng walked off into the bathroom to get the bandages out of the first aid kit. Gathering enough for a blindfold, he stopped and looked at the rest of the bandages for a long moment.
HyunJoong said he trusted him...maybe it was okay to trust his master back.
Closing the kit, he returned to HyunJoong's room, holding out the bandages. "I think...if you just kept your hands behind your back, it would be fine," he said quietly.
HyunJoong nodded, taking the bandages from YoungSaeng hand. “Alright, if you say so, Saeng.”
And so, taking the bandages, HyunJoong began to wind them over his eyes, closing them automatically as he did so. He used up all the bandages, making sure that he had a thick and secure enough layer. Then putting his hands behind his back, he swallowed feelings of apprehension and looked down - an image of submission. “I’m ready.”
YoungSaeng watched HyunJoong blindfold himself without a word, fighting down the lump in his throat. This whole ruse better work, or else it was messing with both of them all for nothing.
The whole submissive air around HyunJoong tore at him unexpectedly, something YoungSaeng just chalked up to past experiences. "O-okay," he said quietly, drawing in a shaky breath before going to sit down on the bed next to HyunJoong, hand gently on the man's shoulder so HyunJoong always knew exactly where he was. He figured they'd do similar areas to where YoungSaeng had done on him, but not exactly so it didn't look like it was done on purpose.
Controlling the shaking in his hands, YoungSaeng reached out and cupped the side of HyunJoong's face lightly, drawing him in as he scooted closer. Ignoring the instinct to run away as best as he could, he guided the man's lips to the side of his neck, tilting his head away slightly. "L-let's start here?"
The feeling of apprehension only strengthened when YoungSaeng sat next to him, and he had to restrain the urge to reach for his gun. Then at the sound of YoungSaeng’s shaky voice, HyunJoong relaxed, reminded of exactly why he was doing this.
He let YoungSaeng direct his head, the shake in the felinefolk’s hands only serving to calm him further. And when his lips met skin, he whispered against it in confirmation before slowly sticking out his tongue to lap at the skin.
YoungSaeng thought closing his eyes would make it more bearable, but it only made it harder to breathe, the felinefolk feeling like he was suffocating. And so he kept his eyes open, breathing in and out slowly as he stared at the top of HyunJoong's head, the messy headful of hair.
The first touch of a tongue against his neck drew a sharp gasp from the felinefolk even though he'd been prepared for it. Biting on his lower lip, he determinedly kept all further sounds inside, though he couldn't help but feel dizzier than normal, breathing uneven. He kept his hand lightly against HyunJoong's jaw, barely touching his skin, just enough to keep him steady.
HyunJoong heard the gasp and he paused, his movement slowing down, and he would have pulled back if not for the light hand on his jaw reminding him that as much as YoungSaeng was nervous about this, he would hate it even more if HyunJoong ended up having to whip him in front of an entire audience.
And so he kept at it, his teeth coming into play as he took a tiny sliver of skin and very slowly, bit down on it.
It was just HyunJoong. HyunJoong, HyunJoong, HyunJoong. YoungSaeng repeated that in his head like a mantra as he felt the light pressure of teeth, that pressure slowly increasing as the other man bit. He kept himself leaned forward so that HyunJoong wouldn't lose balance without the use of his hands, ears flattened against his damp hair.
Surprisingly, it was the man's scent that helped him calm down the most, that same earthy scent that had meant security from the first day they'd met. He was safe here. HyunJoong would keep him safe. And he would keep HyunJoong safe. The shakes in his hands eased to a faint tremble as he worked on controlling his breathing and keeping any noises from passing his lips.
When YoungSaeng didn’t buck from his ministrations, the shaking he felt in the felinefolk’s hands even decreasing, HyunJoong decided that it was probably safe to continue now without receiving a faceful of mattress from unbalance. Working his tongue, teeth and lips in a manner similar to what YoungSaeng had done to him the last night, HyunJoong began to work YoungSaeng’s skin, pulling away when he thought that the mark should be good enough. “How… does it look?”
It was harder than he thought it would be to stay quiet. Chewing on his lower lip with one fang, YoungSaeng stopped when he tasted copper and simply pressed his lips firmly together. Focusing on HyunJoong's scent, breathing it in through his nose, the felinefolk was relieved when the human drew back.
One hand slowly went to the mark on his skin, feeling it throb. YoungSaeng knew even without looking that it was perfect for what they needed. "It's good," he murmured, drawing in a breath. "I...I think just two should be alright...like you said...we can just pretend there are more hidden." His voice was halting, but understandable.
He was kind of glad for the blindfold though. His face was surely bright red.
"Are...are you okay?" he whispered, giving them a moment to breathe before continuing.
HyunJoong hadn’t been thinking about the feelings that came associated with this task, solely concentrating on getting things right without falling over, and as such, he was still perfectly fine…until YoungSaeng asked his question.
His face burned a brilliant red as he tried swallowing down a sudden feeling of panic. “Ah…yeah…I’m fine…”
Chewing his lip, he tried looking in the direction that he thought YoungSaeng was at and nodded. “L-let’s continue.”
Despite the anxiety, YoungSaeng couldn't stop the way his lips curled upwards when HyunJoong 'looked' somewhere to his right. "I'm over here," he said, somewhat amused, nudging HyunJoong's jaw slightly so his head was turned in the right direction.
Trying to think, YoungSaeng's free hand went to the scar on his neck, and he nodded to himself. "Last one," he said quietly, and guided HyunJoong back to him, this time positioning his master's lips over the scar, at the front of his throat.
HyunJoong followed where YoungSaeng guided him to, a bit too concerned about doing something he regretted to care about YoungSaeng laughing at him. “Here?” He asked, nudging the spot YoungSaeng pushed him to with his lips, not unlike in the manner of a curious puppy.
YoungSaeng was stuck between giggling at the curious nudge because it kind of tickled, and jerking back because it was the scar, and sometimes when he was half-asleep he could still feel a ghostly pressure around his neck. He would rather have no one touch the scar, but he knew that the impression it would bring for HyunJoong to mark him where he had already been marked for life would be worth far more than his discomfort.
"Yes there, and that tickles," he murmured, voice uneven. He could feel the pressure of HyunJoong's lips against his throat as he spoke, the sensation odd.
“Sorry.” HyunJoong mumbled against YoungSaeng’s throat, then realizing that that wasn’t exactly a good idea. He could feel raised, damaged skin against his lips, but he decided it would be better not to say anything and instead started work on making the mark. They didn’t have much time left before they needed to go to the HQ after all.
More prepared for the feeling this time, YoungSaeng inhaled and exhaled slowly as HyunJoong started to work on the mark. It took a lot of effort to keep his silence, and he hoped HyunJoong couldn't hear the way his heart pounded against his ribcage, for more reason than one. Blinking up at the headful of hair, he kept his hand lightly against HyunJoong's jaw. A faint noise passed from his lips once, but that was all, the felinefolk's control like iron.
He could feel it of course, but HyunJoong pushed it all to the back of his mind, determined to treat it just like a task, throwing away all unnecessary feelings. He was quick, mouth working to make the mark without causing YoungSaeng any pain or discomfort. And soon, he thought he had made one that matched his first, pulling away slightly, breathing hard due to fact he hadn’t taken any breaths during the intense activity.
YoungSaeng slowly looked back down at HyunJoong, one hand going to the mark the man had leave over the scar. There was no way the hunters would miss this one. "We're done, then..." Willing the blush across his cheeks to leave, he sighed softly and then reached out to untie the blindfold from HyunJoong's face, the bandages falling away.
HyunJoong slowly opened his eyes, now able to see the fruit of his labor. Biting his lip a little, he raised his hand as if to touch the marks on YoungSaeng’s neck, perhaps in apology, when the hand fell down again. He didn’t think YoungSaeng would appreciate him touching the places he’d just violated. “Come on.” HyunJoong turned away, “We have to get going.”
Watching the man's hand approach, YoungSaeng remained silent as it fell away. He nodded at the statement, slowly getting to his feet. Now all they had to do was see if HQ would fall for it.
Looking back at HyunJoong, and the marks on the hunter's own neck, YoungSaeng resisted the urge to touch his own neck again. Instead, he slowly lifted a hand and offered it to his master, like a truce of sorts. Or to say he was apologizing as well.
"It'll work," he whispered quietly. It had to.
HyunJoong turned around at YoungSaeng’s voice, blinking at the hand offered to him. He looked up at the felinefolk’s whisper, before loosing a tentative smile, taking YoungSaeng’s hand into his. “Yeah. Let’s go.” And he pulled YoungSaeng out of the room, grabbing his coat on the way out. Out to where the enemies lay in wait. But they would be fine, HyunJoong knew. Because they were together.
************************
KyuJong groaned as he woke, his back stiff and his eyes scratchy. Rubbing his face, he pushed himself off the bed, calling for JungMin as he yawned, walking out of his room. When the human didn’t answer, KyuJong frowned, worry filling him again, looking around for a sign of the human walking disaster.
The apartment was empty other than KyuJong. The messages they had been receiving were on the table, along with notes and reports and other papers they had started filling out ever since they had started being contacted. It was obvious JungMin had been looking through them.
Along with them was a small post-it note with the words Went out for a few, brb scrawled across it.
KyuJong picked up the post-it that had been left among the pile of work JungMin had left behind, frowning. What was the redhead up to now? He should follow him just to make sure the human wouldn’t get into trouble.
But just as KyuJong was about to go out of the house, he remembered the cracked sealing ring that he wore and stopped himself. He should probably fix the new one before he went out…otherwise who knew what could happen.
And so, doubling back, KyuJong went back to his room, pulling out the sealing ring and several other things he needed in order to do this - a piece of chalk, some instructions, and a small knife.
Drawing out a magical circle, KyuJong placed the ring in the center of it, before he began to read out a chant that he had written out on the paper of instructions in case he ever forgot it. This would help to define the boundaries of the seal on his power - that it would not be a total seal, but only a partial one.
After searching around for a few hours, JungMin was beginning to be discouraged. Tired of inactivity, he had left and looked over all the places they'd encountered the hunter and the felinefolk, looking for anything they could use to their advantage. Anything at all. But there was very little he could find that they didn't already know. It was like he was completely incapable of finding anything himself unless KyuJong had already found it.
As far as proving himself went, he wasn't doing that good at it. Maybe the others in the organization were right when they said he was only good for blowing things up.
Finally returning home dejectedly when he realized KyuJong would be up soon, JungMin unlocked the apartment door and stepped in, closing it behind him. He could hear KyuJong's voice faintly from his room. So he was already awake. "Hey Kyu," he called, slipping off his shoes.
KyuJong cut off in the middle of his chanting, quickly breaking off the spell when he heard JungMin come in. Quickly, grabbing the ring and wiping off the chalk symbols on the table, he turned around, trying to block the evidence of what he had been doing without looking too suspicious. “I’m in here Min! Er…gimme a minute to freshen up and then I’ll come out.”
JungMin blinked at the tone of KyuJong's voice, padding out into the living room to clean up the mess he'd made of the table. "Okay," he called back, shrugging off the odd tone as he gathered together the papers, still sulking about not finding anything.
KyuJong quickly shoved the new sealing ring into his pocket and taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he walked out of his room, seemingly nonchalant. He spotted JungMin sulking around the table, clearing up and tapped him gently on the shoulder. “Hey…where’d you go? I was just about to go find you.”
Looking up at the tap on his shoulder, JungMin grinned sheepishly. "Went to see if I could find anything useful. No such luck." He was just so...useless to the cause. "Feel better? You were out cold for a while." He gathered everything into piles, needing something to do with his hands.
KyuJong knelt down beside JungMin, beginning to help JungMin clean up when he heard the hidden tone in JungMin’s voice. Looking up, he frowned and pulled JungMin’s hands into his, trying to look into his master’s eyes. “Is there something wrong, Min? You sound…strange.”
Blinking, JungMin stared at the hands holding his own, unable to look up at the other man's words. "There's nothing wrong," he muttered, twitchy for some reason. "It..." His voice trailed off. It was rare for him to have no words, but he had always sucked at lying. "Why are you still here with me?" he blurted suddenly. "There are tons better anti-hunters in the organization."
KyuJong blinked at JungMin’s sudden question and frowned. He thought the answer was obvious - even discounting romantic notions. “Min…I’m still with you because I want to. Sure there are…better anti-hunters, but so what? You’re the anti-hunter I want to be with.”
"That doesn't make any sense though," JungMin argued. "I mess things up all the time. Even when I'm trying I can't do anything. How is that helping you?"
Whenever someone became a member of the organization, having passed their training, they received a silver necklace with a dove pendant. A brilliant dove with wings spread in flight. It was a symbol of the peace and freedom they were trying to achieve. Not even two weeks after JungMin received his dove, he'd gotten into a fight with hunters that hadn't ended well, the non-human he was guarding killed. When he looked at the necklace later, he'd discovered the tip of one of the dove's wings had broken off.
Ever since, it had been a symbol of his incompetency in the organization. The other anti-hunters laughed and said any non-human partner JungMin took on would be like a bird with their wings clipped. Hindered, held back, unable to fly.
JungMin wondered if he'd clipped KyuJong's wings without even realizing it.
KyuJong’s eyebrows furrowed together at JungMin’s argument. Was that what was bothering JungMin?
The ankou let out a sigh, lifting up his hand and using strong fingers, gently cupped JungMin’s cheek, pushing it so that he could look into the human’s eyes. “Min…you help. Whether you succeed or not, whether you’re capable or not. And that’s all the difference I need.”
JungMin would never know the life that KyuJong led prior to this. He’d been captured since young, reared so that he would be a powerful tool to the highest bidder. It was all he was to all his previous masters - a useful tool. And until he’d been saved by the anti-hunter organization and met JungMin, he had never known anything else. He could remember the first day when they had met and KyuJong had tried to do everything for JungMin and ended up being tied down to the bed, literally forced to rest and not do anything while JungMin worked around him.
That was also the day that KyuJong first felt kindness.
Finally forced to meet KyuJong's eyes, JungMin chewed on his lower lip, eyes bleak for once. "The difference isn't a good one if I get you killed because I haven't a clue what I'm doing," he stated. The majority of the time, he didn't have a clue what he was doing. He improvised, and usually was nearly killed for it, if KyuJong didn't step in. KyuJong always had to step in.
"Haven't you ever thought about leaving?" he pressed. "I know some of the other anti-hunters have talked to you before. The ones who actually know what they're doing." Some of them had come up to JungMin and told him flat-out there was no way he could take care of an ankou properly. JungMin had refused to believe them. But sometimes he wondered if they were right all along.
“You mean the ones who say that you can’t take care of me?” KyuJong raised an eyebrow, amused. “Trust me, no one here really knows how to take care of an ankou.” And it was the truth - if not for the instincts that came along with his existence, KyuJong was pretty sure that he’d have gone berserk and started killing everyone on this Earth before exhausting himself and dying then.
“You’re not inadequate, JungMin.” KyuJong reassured quietly. “Trust me when I say that I want no other master.”
JungMin had actually started relaxing a little, the warm touch against his cheek calming him. He was still upset about not being able to do anything, but as long as KyuJong wanted him there then that was all that mattered. A faint pink even appeared in his cheeks.
But then that word slipped out of KyuJong's mouth, master, and the human jerked back as though KyuJong had physically struck him, breaking the light contact of the hand against his cheek. "I don't want to be your master!" he snapped, pain flickering in his eyes before he stood up, grabbing the papers on the table and stalking off to put them away, red hair hiding his eyes.
Was a master all the ankou thought him as, to be completely incapable of calling him anything else?
KyuJong let out a gasp when JungMin pulled sharply away from him. A split second later, he realized what he had done wrong and quickly got to his feet, “Min!” Crap, it had been a total slip of the tongue. He knew that JungMin didn’t like the term, but there was a deeper reason than that of just servitude that which KyuJong kept referring the human as that, but it was one that KyuJong couldn’t explain without revealing the deep secret he was keeping from JungMin.
Catching his hand, KyuJong pulled him back, “Min. Look, I’m sorry! It just…slipped of my tongue. Habit.”
JungMin looked back at KyuJong, eyes dark. "Why does it have to be habit?" he asked, anger in his tone. "I've been asking you not to call me that ever since we met. Since when have I ever encouraged the idea of you being a servant as a habit?!"
He turned to face KyuJong. "You're your own person, and equal to me. Hell, maybe better than me even. But you're not my servant, and I'm not your master."
Then the anger seemed to leave him in one go, leaving a helpless look in his eyes. "Why can't you just call me your friend?" he asked pleadingly.
KyuJong bit his lip, cringing back at the anger in JungMin’s voice. It seemed his words only angered him more. He searched for words - he could lie, he could gloss over the situation, he could even perhaps divert JungMin’s attention. But that helpless look in JungMin’s eyes stopped him cold and he looked down, unable to tell anything but the truth. “I… I’m sorry…”
“I’m not as good as you make me out to be, JungMin.” KyuJong whispered, reaching up to clutch at his seal ring. “I’m not worthy of being your friend.”
JungMin looked at him carefully, trying to see what KyuJong was thinking in his face. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly, switching his grip around so he was the one holding KyuJong's hands this time. "Of course you're good." He'd never known KyuJong to be anything but. Hell, the guy was kind even in moments where he should be anything but.
"What's going on, Kyu? What aren't you telling me?"
“Eh?” KyuJong looked up only to see JungMin carefully observing him. Crap, how had the situation reversed like this? Looking down immediately, he avoided JungMin’s eyes. “What are you talking about, Min? There’s nothing wrong…except with my slip up.”
The human wasn't going to back down though, not this time. "I'm not stupid, Kyu. You've been distracted lately, even for you." He hadn't said anything under the belief that if it was important, KyuJong would tell him. But it didn't look like KyuJong would, so JungMin was going to ask himself.
"There's something bothering you," he said, eyes concerned.
For a moment, KyuJong was tempted to tell JungMin everything. It was hard dealing with the ugly emotions surging up inside him even now, and even harder when he had no one to talk to about his problems.
“Monster!”
The memory surged up suddenly in KyuJong’s mind and he pulled his hands from JungMin’s warm ones. This kind-hearted human…KyuJong was determined that he would never know about the existence of such a grotesque heart.
“…” KyuJong slowly shook his head, his long bangs hiding his face from the human. “No…it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Feeling the warmth leave his hands, JungMin tried in vain to see the ankou's eyes. Chewing his lower lip, he sighed finally, shoulders slumping. "You're an idiot, you know that?" he said quietly. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere else."
He ran one hand through his hair in slight frustration before giving a tentative smile. "Well...even if you don't consider me a friend, I consider you as one. I'm not a very patient person...but I suppose I can wait to hear that from you as well." He placed one hand on KyuJong's shoulder tentatively.
KyuJong’s head shot up at that, looking at the hand on his shoulder before smiling a slow, sheepish smile at JungMin. “I’ll…tell you once I get there, JungMin. When I’ll be good enough to call you my friend.”
“And you’re the idiot…how did me consoling you turn out to be the other way round?” KyuJong took the hand off and pulled JungMin into a hug. He could do this - friend, master, whatever. He just wanted to be there for JungMin as a person.
"You're already good enough, you crazy shinigami," JungMin snorted, returning the hug warmly. He rubbed the other man's back absently, closing his eyes. "That's why you're the idiot, not me."
He had never considered KyuJong as anything less, and he hoped the ankou would be able to open up to him one day. Until then, he'd ignore any slip-ups the best he could.
It couldn't help but worry him though...wondering just what KyuJong was hiding.
KyuJong smiled and retorted back. “Ankou you idiot. Shinigamis have nothing on me!” He squeezed JungMin back and was about to pull away when something on JungMin’s back caught his eye. Leaning over JungMin a bit to get a better look, he gasped, quickly extracting himself from the human and turning JungMin around to get a better look. “Min! This is…I think this is that felinefolk’s life energy…or at least the residue of it…and there’s someone else’s mixed in with it! It’s human… although strangely strong and… muted? But still… I think it’s that felinefolk’s master, the way it’s tied up with the felinefolk’s!”
Looking up in excitement, KyuJong wrapped JungMin in a hug again. “You did it, Min! We’ve got a lead again!”
Blinking in utter confusion when KyuJong turned him around to look at his back, JungMin tried to look over his shoulder at the ankou. "What? On my back?" How did that even work? Unless he'd leaned against a wall right where the other two had leaned or something...or walked down the street right after they'd passed through.
Turning around when KyuJong stopped looking at his back, JungMin was startled by the hug, blinking with wide eyes for a moment before grinning sheepishly and returning it. He hadn't really done anything, but the other man's words warmed him as he rested his head on KyuJong's shoulder in affection and relief for a moment before straightening, bouncing lightly. "Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" And he was running off to get ready to follow the new lead.
“Woah!” KyuJong blinked when JungMin was suddenly no longer there and instead bouncing about getting a new lead to follow, and a small smile tugged at his lips --JungMin would be JungMin. “Calm down, JungMin. Go pack your stuff properly and make sure you bring everything you need.”
He was just glad that everything had ended smoothly for now, even if he had been thwarted in his attempt to make a new sealing ring. Oh well, he’d just have to do it later.
Authors: curionenene and yeonah
Chapter: 9/?
Fandom: SS501
Pairings: KyuMin, HyunSaeng
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Angst, AU
Summary: Black and white... white and black. It isn't always possible to tell what is good and what is evil; and four players in the never-ending fight for freedom would know. In a world where things are painted by shades of grey, taking a stand could mean life or death. And the struggle to be free, truly free, may tear them apart until there is nothing left but ash.
A/N: KyuJong and HyunJoong are played by curionenene , while JungMin and YoungSaeng are played by yeonah .
Updates will be on Tuesdays from now on (yay we have a schedule~ \o/)
As well, Curione drew an AMAZING and FUNNY drawing of KyuMin for this roleplay, which I think you should all check out and spaz about HERE! Also, if you haven't seen it before, she also drew an adorably cute HyunSaeng drawing a while back <3
Stretching with a silent yawn, YoungSaeng opened his eyes and was met with a faceful of cotton. Blinking sleepily, he took a quick stock of what was going on and discovered he was still in his cat form, curled up on the bed next to a knocked-out HyunJoong. Pushing his face out of the hunter's shirt, the kitten looked up at his master for a moment and debated what to do.
He was sorely tempted to just...lie there. Knowing HyunJoong, he would be out cold for a few more hours at least if YoungSaeng did nothing to wake him up. And because he was half-asleep, the felinefolk could admit to himself that he was very comfortable where he was. Maybe a bit too comfortable. HyunJoong was like a human heater, and the earthy scent the man gave off was soothing. If he didn't move soon, he might never move at all.
And they really needed to head to HQ soon...after they deal with finishing the marks. Great, he'd forgotten about that.
Grudgingly getting up, YoungSaeng padded quietly further up the bed to see if the marks were still present on HyunJoong's neck and collar. They were, and even more prominent than before if that was possible. That part was good at least...
A cat sigh escaped YoungSaeng as he jumped off the bed and headed into the bathroom to shower, giving HyunJoong as much time to sleep as possible. Shifting back into his human form, YoungSaeng stepped into the shower and turned on the water, letting it beat down on him. Like any cat, YoungSaeng hated water, but tolerated showers because it soothed him.
A few minutes later he stepped out, brushing dripping locks of hair out of his eyes and shaking the worst of the water off his tail and ears before wrapping a towel around his waist. Sighing faintly, YoungSaeng leaned against the counter and looked at himself in the mirror, one hand slowly tracing the scar that ran around his neck. He allowed his golden eyes to shift into a human brown before ruefully poking at one cat ear. Things would have turned out different in so many ways if he could hide what he was as easily as the others...if he wasn't the runt of the litter.
But as much pain as his handicap had brought him, it had also brought HyunJoong to him...and the first real sense of companionship the felinefolk had felt in years.
Having fallen asleep with a problem chewing at his mind, for one of the few times in his life, HyunJoong woke up by himself. He yawned loudly, stretching out in a bid to chase away the tiredness from his body and shook his head in a manner that perhaps would befit a dog rather than a human. Then, rubbing his face, he pushed himself off the bed, blinking away the tears that came with wakefulness with a lazy manner.
He sighed as the events of last night came to him, and his hands immediately went to his neck, looking down at the marks that YoungSaeng had made on him. Well, those looked pretty good…one hurdle down…and one much more difficult to go.
But then he realized what had roused him from his usually deep sleep and paused, a thoughtful look slowly forming. He had the beginnings of an idea…and it was unusual to say the least…but perhaps…it just might work.
Sighing after a long moment, YoungSaeng finished drying himself and changed into a sleeveless shirt and one of the jeans with a hole in the back for his tail. While they would need to go to HQ later, for some reason YoungSaeng felt like keeping his cat traits visible. Most of the time he hid them whenever going to Hunter Headquarters, but it wasn't like everyone didn't know what he was either way.
Padding into HyunJoong's room after deciding just to let his hair dry naturally, YoungSaeng blinked when he saw the human was already wake. That was rare. "Hey."
“Hey to you too…” HyunJoong replied slowly before looking up at the felinefolk and smiling, patted a spot on the bed for the felinefolk to sit. “I’ve got an idea…want me to run it by you so you can tell me if it’s feasible?”
Raising an eyebrow curiously, YoungSaeng nodded and tried not to think about what HyunJoong's last idea had been. They still needed to finish with that, but any distraction was good for him. The felinefolk padded over and sat down next to his master, looking over at him curiously and waiting for the man to say what was on his mind.
“It’s about our little problem from last night…” HyunJoong continued once YoungSaeng was comfortably settled. “Would it make you feel better if I blindfolded myself and tied my hands behind my back while I…marked you?”
Now that he had gotten some sleep, his ability to control the raging blush that had been rampant last night was a lot stronger, and so the red in his cheeks was now barely noticeable. “I mean…at least that way you wouldn’t feel like…I was taking advantage of you or something…and in a way you’d be the one in charge because, well, you’re gonna have to direct me on where to…er…mark.”
Jerking back slightly at the suggestion, YoungSaeng blinked at HyunJoong with wide eyes. Seriously? He'd never even thought of that idea. It was still contact, that alone setting YoungSaeng on edge, but like HyunJoong's earlier idea of him marking his master as a kitten, it seemed to make it...less stressful to deal with. The felinefolk tried to imagine how that would work, and had to struggle to hide a blush, but it was definitely sitting better with him than dealing with all those memories that he had thought would swallow him for sure.
"It...would help, I think..." he mumbled, looking down at his tail curled around his frame and resting in his lap. "But...are you alright with that?" It wasn't just him uncomfortable with this. Wouldn't the blindfold and restrains be a bit too much?
Truthfully…the idea didn’t exactly thrill HyunJoong. He hated being out of control of any situation, and for him to do this might surface unwanted memories that he had long buried in his subconscious. But he couldn’t think of any alternative, nor could he bear the thought of him punishing YoungSaeng in front of all those bastards. And it was these reasons that pushed him to go along with his idea. Besides, he was pretty sure he could keep the memories at bay as long as he focused on the task. “Yeah… I trust you.”
YoungSaeng chewed on his lower lip for a long moment, thinking and trying to ignore the warm feeling those words gave him, before nodding slowly. "Alright...we should get it over with now then, because we'll need to leave for HQ soon," he said quietly, shifting awkwardly before looking around for something they could use as a blindfold and restrains.
Standing up to get a strip of bandages when he figured those might work, he paused, looking back at HyunJoong. "Why don't...we not tie your hands?" he asked hesitantly. "If you just keep them clasped behind you, that might be enough...or keep them tied very loosely...” He didn't like tying people up unless it was needed.
HyunJoong tilted his head and shrugged. “Whichever you’re more comfortable with YoungSaeng. I’m fine with either.”
Obviously, he would prefer not to have his hands tied, but…this was YoungSaeng being put into a vulnerable position. Not him. And he would do anything to reassure the felinefolk that he wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation.
Thinking, YoungSaeng walked off into the bathroom to get the bandages out of the first aid kit. Gathering enough for a blindfold, he stopped and looked at the rest of the bandages for a long moment.
HyunJoong said he trusted him...maybe it was okay to trust his master back.
Closing the kit, he returned to HyunJoong's room, holding out the bandages. "I think...if you just kept your hands behind your back, it would be fine," he said quietly.
HyunJoong nodded, taking the bandages from YoungSaeng hand. “Alright, if you say so, Saeng.”
And so, taking the bandages, HyunJoong began to wind them over his eyes, closing them automatically as he did so. He used up all the bandages, making sure that he had a thick and secure enough layer. Then putting his hands behind his back, he swallowed feelings of apprehension and looked down - an image of submission. “I’m ready.”
YoungSaeng watched HyunJoong blindfold himself without a word, fighting down the lump in his throat. This whole ruse better work, or else it was messing with both of them all for nothing.
The whole submissive air around HyunJoong tore at him unexpectedly, something YoungSaeng just chalked up to past experiences. "O-okay," he said quietly, drawing in a shaky breath before going to sit down on the bed next to HyunJoong, hand gently on the man's shoulder so HyunJoong always knew exactly where he was. He figured they'd do similar areas to where YoungSaeng had done on him, but not exactly so it didn't look like it was done on purpose.
Controlling the shaking in his hands, YoungSaeng reached out and cupped the side of HyunJoong's face lightly, drawing him in as he scooted closer. Ignoring the instinct to run away as best as he could, he guided the man's lips to the side of his neck, tilting his head away slightly. "L-let's start here?"
The feeling of apprehension only strengthened when YoungSaeng sat next to him, and he had to restrain the urge to reach for his gun. Then at the sound of YoungSaeng’s shaky voice, HyunJoong relaxed, reminded of exactly why he was doing this.
He let YoungSaeng direct his head, the shake in the felinefolk’s hands only serving to calm him further. And when his lips met skin, he whispered against it in confirmation before slowly sticking out his tongue to lap at the skin.
YoungSaeng thought closing his eyes would make it more bearable, but it only made it harder to breathe, the felinefolk feeling like he was suffocating. And so he kept his eyes open, breathing in and out slowly as he stared at the top of HyunJoong's head, the messy headful of hair.
The first touch of a tongue against his neck drew a sharp gasp from the felinefolk even though he'd been prepared for it. Biting on his lower lip, he determinedly kept all further sounds inside, though he couldn't help but feel dizzier than normal, breathing uneven. He kept his hand lightly against HyunJoong's jaw, barely touching his skin, just enough to keep him steady.
HyunJoong heard the gasp and he paused, his movement slowing down, and he would have pulled back if not for the light hand on his jaw reminding him that as much as YoungSaeng was nervous about this, he would hate it even more if HyunJoong ended up having to whip him in front of an entire audience.
And so he kept at it, his teeth coming into play as he took a tiny sliver of skin and very slowly, bit down on it.
It was just HyunJoong. HyunJoong, HyunJoong, HyunJoong. YoungSaeng repeated that in his head like a mantra as he felt the light pressure of teeth, that pressure slowly increasing as the other man bit. He kept himself leaned forward so that HyunJoong wouldn't lose balance without the use of his hands, ears flattened against his damp hair.
Surprisingly, it was the man's scent that helped him calm down the most, that same earthy scent that had meant security from the first day they'd met. He was safe here. HyunJoong would keep him safe. And he would keep HyunJoong safe. The shakes in his hands eased to a faint tremble as he worked on controlling his breathing and keeping any noises from passing his lips.
When YoungSaeng didn’t buck from his ministrations, the shaking he felt in the felinefolk’s hands even decreasing, HyunJoong decided that it was probably safe to continue now without receiving a faceful of mattress from unbalance. Working his tongue, teeth and lips in a manner similar to what YoungSaeng had done to him the last night, HyunJoong began to work YoungSaeng’s skin, pulling away when he thought that the mark should be good enough. “How… does it look?”
It was harder than he thought it would be to stay quiet. Chewing on his lower lip with one fang, YoungSaeng stopped when he tasted copper and simply pressed his lips firmly together. Focusing on HyunJoong's scent, breathing it in through his nose, the felinefolk was relieved when the human drew back.
One hand slowly went to the mark on his skin, feeling it throb. YoungSaeng knew even without looking that it was perfect for what they needed. "It's good," he murmured, drawing in a breath. "I...I think just two should be alright...like you said...we can just pretend there are more hidden." His voice was halting, but understandable.
He was kind of glad for the blindfold though. His face was surely bright red.
"Are...are you okay?" he whispered, giving them a moment to breathe before continuing.
HyunJoong hadn’t been thinking about the feelings that came associated with this task, solely concentrating on getting things right without falling over, and as such, he was still perfectly fine…until YoungSaeng asked his question.
His face burned a brilliant red as he tried swallowing down a sudden feeling of panic. “Ah…yeah…I’m fine…”
Chewing his lip, he tried looking in the direction that he thought YoungSaeng was at and nodded. “L-let’s continue.”
Despite the anxiety, YoungSaeng couldn't stop the way his lips curled upwards when HyunJoong 'looked' somewhere to his right. "I'm over here," he said, somewhat amused, nudging HyunJoong's jaw slightly so his head was turned in the right direction.
Trying to think, YoungSaeng's free hand went to the scar on his neck, and he nodded to himself. "Last one," he said quietly, and guided HyunJoong back to him, this time positioning his master's lips over the scar, at the front of his throat.
HyunJoong followed where YoungSaeng guided him to, a bit too concerned about doing something he regretted to care about YoungSaeng laughing at him. “Here?” He asked, nudging the spot YoungSaeng pushed him to with his lips, not unlike in the manner of a curious puppy.
YoungSaeng was stuck between giggling at the curious nudge because it kind of tickled, and jerking back because it was the scar, and sometimes when he was half-asleep he could still feel a ghostly pressure around his neck. He would rather have no one touch the scar, but he knew that the impression it would bring for HyunJoong to mark him where he had already been marked for life would be worth far more than his discomfort.
"Yes there, and that tickles," he murmured, voice uneven. He could feel the pressure of HyunJoong's lips against his throat as he spoke, the sensation odd.
“Sorry.” HyunJoong mumbled against YoungSaeng’s throat, then realizing that that wasn’t exactly a good idea. He could feel raised, damaged skin against his lips, but he decided it would be better not to say anything and instead started work on making the mark. They didn’t have much time left before they needed to go to the HQ after all.
More prepared for the feeling this time, YoungSaeng inhaled and exhaled slowly as HyunJoong started to work on the mark. It took a lot of effort to keep his silence, and he hoped HyunJoong couldn't hear the way his heart pounded against his ribcage, for more reason than one. Blinking up at the headful of hair, he kept his hand lightly against HyunJoong's jaw. A faint noise passed from his lips once, but that was all, the felinefolk's control like iron.
He could feel it of course, but HyunJoong pushed it all to the back of his mind, determined to treat it just like a task, throwing away all unnecessary feelings. He was quick, mouth working to make the mark without causing YoungSaeng any pain or discomfort. And soon, he thought he had made one that matched his first, pulling away slightly, breathing hard due to fact he hadn’t taken any breaths during the intense activity.
YoungSaeng slowly looked back down at HyunJoong, one hand going to the mark the man had leave over the scar. There was no way the hunters would miss this one. "We're done, then..." Willing the blush across his cheeks to leave, he sighed softly and then reached out to untie the blindfold from HyunJoong's face, the bandages falling away.
HyunJoong slowly opened his eyes, now able to see the fruit of his labor. Biting his lip a little, he raised his hand as if to touch the marks on YoungSaeng’s neck, perhaps in apology, when the hand fell down again. He didn’t think YoungSaeng would appreciate him touching the places he’d just violated. “Come on.” HyunJoong turned away, “We have to get going.”
Watching the man's hand approach, YoungSaeng remained silent as it fell away. He nodded at the statement, slowly getting to his feet. Now all they had to do was see if HQ would fall for it.
Looking back at HyunJoong, and the marks on the hunter's own neck, YoungSaeng resisted the urge to touch his own neck again. Instead, he slowly lifted a hand and offered it to his master, like a truce of sorts. Or to say he was apologizing as well.
"It'll work," he whispered quietly. It had to.
HyunJoong turned around at YoungSaeng’s voice, blinking at the hand offered to him. He looked up at the felinefolk’s whisper, before loosing a tentative smile, taking YoungSaeng’s hand into his. “Yeah. Let’s go.” And he pulled YoungSaeng out of the room, grabbing his coat on the way out. Out to where the enemies lay in wait. But they would be fine, HyunJoong knew. Because they were together.
************************
KyuJong groaned as he woke, his back stiff and his eyes scratchy. Rubbing his face, he pushed himself off the bed, calling for JungMin as he yawned, walking out of his room. When the human didn’t answer, KyuJong frowned, worry filling him again, looking around for a sign of the human walking disaster.
The apartment was empty other than KyuJong. The messages they had been receiving were on the table, along with notes and reports and other papers they had started filling out ever since they had started being contacted. It was obvious JungMin had been looking through them.
Along with them was a small post-it note with the words Went out for a few, brb scrawled across it.
KyuJong picked up the post-it that had been left among the pile of work JungMin had left behind, frowning. What was the redhead up to now? He should follow him just to make sure the human wouldn’t get into trouble.
But just as KyuJong was about to go out of the house, he remembered the cracked sealing ring that he wore and stopped himself. He should probably fix the new one before he went out…otherwise who knew what could happen.
And so, doubling back, KyuJong went back to his room, pulling out the sealing ring and several other things he needed in order to do this - a piece of chalk, some instructions, and a small knife.
Drawing out a magical circle, KyuJong placed the ring in the center of it, before he began to read out a chant that he had written out on the paper of instructions in case he ever forgot it. This would help to define the boundaries of the seal on his power - that it would not be a total seal, but only a partial one.
After searching around for a few hours, JungMin was beginning to be discouraged. Tired of inactivity, he had left and looked over all the places they'd encountered the hunter and the felinefolk, looking for anything they could use to their advantage. Anything at all. But there was very little he could find that they didn't already know. It was like he was completely incapable of finding anything himself unless KyuJong had already found it.
As far as proving himself went, he wasn't doing that good at it. Maybe the others in the organization were right when they said he was only good for blowing things up.
Finally returning home dejectedly when he realized KyuJong would be up soon, JungMin unlocked the apartment door and stepped in, closing it behind him. He could hear KyuJong's voice faintly from his room. So he was already awake. "Hey Kyu," he called, slipping off his shoes.
KyuJong cut off in the middle of his chanting, quickly breaking off the spell when he heard JungMin come in. Quickly, grabbing the ring and wiping off the chalk symbols on the table, he turned around, trying to block the evidence of what he had been doing without looking too suspicious. “I’m in here Min! Er…gimme a minute to freshen up and then I’ll come out.”
JungMin blinked at the tone of KyuJong's voice, padding out into the living room to clean up the mess he'd made of the table. "Okay," he called back, shrugging off the odd tone as he gathered together the papers, still sulking about not finding anything.
KyuJong quickly shoved the new sealing ring into his pocket and taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he walked out of his room, seemingly nonchalant. He spotted JungMin sulking around the table, clearing up and tapped him gently on the shoulder. “Hey…where’d you go? I was just about to go find you.”
Looking up at the tap on his shoulder, JungMin grinned sheepishly. "Went to see if I could find anything useful. No such luck." He was just so...useless to the cause. "Feel better? You were out cold for a while." He gathered everything into piles, needing something to do with his hands.
KyuJong knelt down beside JungMin, beginning to help JungMin clean up when he heard the hidden tone in JungMin’s voice. Looking up, he frowned and pulled JungMin’s hands into his, trying to look into his master’s eyes. “Is there something wrong, Min? You sound…strange.”
Blinking, JungMin stared at the hands holding his own, unable to look up at the other man's words. "There's nothing wrong," he muttered, twitchy for some reason. "It..." His voice trailed off. It was rare for him to have no words, but he had always sucked at lying. "Why are you still here with me?" he blurted suddenly. "There are tons better anti-hunters in the organization."
KyuJong blinked at JungMin’s sudden question and frowned. He thought the answer was obvious - even discounting romantic notions. “Min…I’m still with you because I want to. Sure there are…better anti-hunters, but so what? You’re the anti-hunter I want to be with.”
"That doesn't make any sense though," JungMin argued. "I mess things up all the time. Even when I'm trying I can't do anything. How is that helping you?"
Whenever someone became a member of the organization, having passed their training, they received a silver necklace with a dove pendant. A brilliant dove with wings spread in flight. It was a symbol of the peace and freedom they were trying to achieve. Not even two weeks after JungMin received his dove, he'd gotten into a fight with hunters that hadn't ended well, the non-human he was guarding killed. When he looked at the necklace later, he'd discovered the tip of one of the dove's wings had broken off.
Ever since, it had been a symbol of his incompetency in the organization. The other anti-hunters laughed and said any non-human partner JungMin took on would be like a bird with their wings clipped. Hindered, held back, unable to fly.
JungMin wondered if he'd clipped KyuJong's wings without even realizing it.
KyuJong’s eyebrows furrowed together at JungMin’s argument. Was that what was bothering JungMin?
The ankou let out a sigh, lifting up his hand and using strong fingers, gently cupped JungMin’s cheek, pushing it so that he could look into the human’s eyes. “Min…you help. Whether you succeed or not, whether you’re capable or not. And that’s all the difference I need.”
JungMin would never know the life that KyuJong led prior to this. He’d been captured since young, reared so that he would be a powerful tool to the highest bidder. It was all he was to all his previous masters - a useful tool. And until he’d been saved by the anti-hunter organization and met JungMin, he had never known anything else. He could remember the first day when they had met and KyuJong had tried to do everything for JungMin and ended up being tied down to the bed, literally forced to rest and not do anything while JungMin worked around him.
That was also the day that KyuJong first felt kindness.
Finally forced to meet KyuJong's eyes, JungMin chewed on his lower lip, eyes bleak for once. "The difference isn't a good one if I get you killed because I haven't a clue what I'm doing," he stated. The majority of the time, he didn't have a clue what he was doing. He improvised, and usually was nearly killed for it, if KyuJong didn't step in. KyuJong always had to step in.
"Haven't you ever thought about leaving?" he pressed. "I know some of the other anti-hunters have talked to you before. The ones who actually know what they're doing." Some of them had come up to JungMin and told him flat-out there was no way he could take care of an ankou properly. JungMin had refused to believe them. But sometimes he wondered if they were right all along.
“You mean the ones who say that you can’t take care of me?” KyuJong raised an eyebrow, amused. “Trust me, no one here really knows how to take care of an ankou.” And it was the truth - if not for the instincts that came along with his existence, KyuJong was pretty sure that he’d have gone berserk and started killing everyone on this Earth before exhausting himself and dying then.
“You’re not inadequate, JungMin.” KyuJong reassured quietly. “Trust me when I say that I want no other master.”
JungMin had actually started relaxing a little, the warm touch against his cheek calming him. He was still upset about not being able to do anything, but as long as KyuJong wanted him there then that was all that mattered. A faint pink even appeared in his cheeks.
But then that word slipped out of KyuJong's mouth, master, and the human jerked back as though KyuJong had physically struck him, breaking the light contact of the hand against his cheek. "I don't want to be your master!" he snapped, pain flickering in his eyes before he stood up, grabbing the papers on the table and stalking off to put them away, red hair hiding his eyes.
Was a master all the ankou thought him as, to be completely incapable of calling him anything else?
KyuJong let out a gasp when JungMin pulled sharply away from him. A split second later, he realized what he had done wrong and quickly got to his feet, “Min!” Crap, it had been a total slip of the tongue. He knew that JungMin didn’t like the term, but there was a deeper reason than that of just servitude that which KyuJong kept referring the human as that, but it was one that KyuJong couldn’t explain without revealing the deep secret he was keeping from JungMin.
Catching his hand, KyuJong pulled him back, “Min. Look, I’m sorry! It just…slipped of my tongue. Habit.”
JungMin looked back at KyuJong, eyes dark. "Why does it have to be habit?" he asked, anger in his tone. "I've been asking you not to call me that ever since we met. Since when have I ever encouraged the idea of you being a servant as a habit?!"
He turned to face KyuJong. "You're your own person, and equal to me. Hell, maybe better than me even. But you're not my servant, and I'm not your master."
Then the anger seemed to leave him in one go, leaving a helpless look in his eyes. "Why can't you just call me your friend?" he asked pleadingly.
KyuJong bit his lip, cringing back at the anger in JungMin’s voice. It seemed his words only angered him more. He searched for words - he could lie, he could gloss over the situation, he could even perhaps divert JungMin’s attention. But that helpless look in JungMin’s eyes stopped him cold and he looked down, unable to tell anything but the truth. “I… I’m sorry…”
“I’m not as good as you make me out to be, JungMin.” KyuJong whispered, reaching up to clutch at his seal ring. “I’m not worthy of being your friend.”
JungMin looked at him carefully, trying to see what KyuJong was thinking in his face. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly, switching his grip around so he was the one holding KyuJong's hands this time. "Of course you're good." He'd never known KyuJong to be anything but. Hell, the guy was kind even in moments where he should be anything but.
"What's going on, Kyu? What aren't you telling me?"
“Eh?” KyuJong looked up only to see JungMin carefully observing him. Crap, how had the situation reversed like this? Looking down immediately, he avoided JungMin’s eyes. “What are you talking about, Min? There’s nothing wrong…except with my slip up.”
The human wasn't going to back down though, not this time. "I'm not stupid, Kyu. You've been distracted lately, even for you." He hadn't said anything under the belief that if it was important, KyuJong would tell him. But it didn't look like KyuJong would, so JungMin was going to ask himself.
"There's something bothering you," he said, eyes concerned.
For a moment, KyuJong was tempted to tell JungMin everything. It was hard dealing with the ugly emotions surging up inside him even now, and even harder when he had no one to talk to about his problems.
“Monster!”
The memory surged up suddenly in KyuJong’s mind and he pulled his hands from JungMin’s warm ones. This kind-hearted human…KyuJong was determined that he would never know about the existence of such a grotesque heart.
“…” KyuJong slowly shook his head, his long bangs hiding his face from the human. “No…it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Feeling the warmth leave his hands, JungMin tried in vain to see the ankou's eyes. Chewing his lower lip, he sighed finally, shoulders slumping. "You're an idiot, you know that?" he said quietly. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere else."
He ran one hand through his hair in slight frustration before giving a tentative smile. "Well...even if you don't consider me a friend, I consider you as one. I'm not a very patient person...but I suppose I can wait to hear that from you as well." He placed one hand on KyuJong's shoulder tentatively.
KyuJong’s head shot up at that, looking at the hand on his shoulder before smiling a slow, sheepish smile at JungMin. “I’ll…tell you once I get there, JungMin. When I’ll be good enough to call you my friend.”
“And you’re the idiot…how did me consoling you turn out to be the other way round?” KyuJong took the hand off and pulled JungMin into a hug. He could do this - friend, master, whatever. He just wanted to be there for JungMin as a person.
"You're already good enough, you crazy shinigami," JungMin snorted, returning the hug warmly. He rubbed the other man's back absently, closing his eyes. "That's why you're the idiot, not me."
He had never considered KyuJong as anything less, and he hoped the ankou would be able to open up to him one day. Until then, he'd ignore any slip-ups the best he could.
It couldn't help but worry him though...wondering just what KyuJong was hiding.
KyuJong smiled and retorted back. “Ankou you idiot. Shinigamis have nothing on me!” He squeezed JungMin back and was about to pull away when something on JungMin’s back caught his eye. Leaning over JungMin a bit to get a better look, he gasped, quickly extracting himself from the human and turning JungMin around to get a better look. “Min! This is…I think this is that felinefolk’s life energy…or at least the residue of it…and there’s someone else’s mixed in with it! It’s human… although strangely strong and… muted? But still… I think it’s that felinefolk’s master, the way it’s tied up with the felinefolk’s!”
Looking up in excitement, KyuJong wrapped JungMin in a hug again. “You did it, Min! We’ve got a lead again!”
Blinking in utter confusion when KyuJong turned him around to look at his back, JungMin tried to look over his shoulder at the ankou. "What? On my back?" How did that even work? Unless he'd leaned against a wall right where the other two had leaned or something...or walked down the street right after they'd passed through.
Turning around when KyuJong stopped looking at his back, JungMin was startled by the hug, blinking with wide eyes for a moment before grinning sheepishly and returning it. He hadn't really done anything, but the other man's words warmed him as he rested his head on KyuJong's shoulder in affection and relief for a moment before straightening, bouncing lightly. "Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" And he was running off to get ready to follow the new lead.
“Woah!” KyuJong blinked when JungMin was suddenly no longer there and instead bouncing about getting a new lead to follow, and a small smile tugged at his lips --JungMin would be JungMin. “Calm down, JungMin. Go pack your stuff properly and make sure you bring everything you need.”
He was just glad that everything had ended smoothly for now, even if he had been thwarted in his attempt to make a new sealing ring. Oh well, he’d just have to do it later.