Unlock - Chapter Eighteen
Title: Unlock
Authors: renichifreak and yeonah
Chapter: 18/?
Fandom: SS501
Pairings: KyuSaeng (may be other pairings in the future)
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Angst, AU, Fluff
Summary: Not everything is as it seems, and for those who are as far from normal as you can get, life is a bleak existence. The only ones who can truly understand what these individuals go through are those...just like them.
A/N: YoungSaeng is played by renichifreak and KyuJong is played by me. Updates will be every Wednesday <3
There were weird blotches on the paper, the ink of the pen running slightly where tears had fallen and dried. Entire paragraphs were scribbled out so thoroughly they couldn't be read.
It was a mistake, I swear it. I didn't know. This isn't what I wanted to do. Why didn't I think of it? Going back changes the past...which changes the present.
The entire paragraph after was scribbled out, but the ones following were legible.
25 years...it was a long time ago. I just wanted to see what it was like. I didn't want to do anything else. Maybe bring something back for EunAh. That lady...was I supposed to just let her be hit by that car? She was supposed to be. She wasn't though, because I pushed her away. I shouldn't have. I thought I was doing something good.
Do you know who that lady was? She is that lady that today lives across the street with that cute little kid that helps Umma all the time. Do you know who the man in that car was? He was the man she was supposed to marry. But they didn't marry...because they never met. I stopped them from meeting.
And that little boy? Their adorable little son who was so friendly to everyone and so happy all the time? He's gone. He was never born. No one knows his name, no one knows who he is, because he never existed. But he did…he did exist. I killed him.
Am I a murderer now?
YoungSaeng simply stared at the page, tears building in his own eyes. This was how KyuJong felt? While he understood that powers like theirs had a dark side, there was no way that his kind and sweet KyuJong was a murderer.
There was no way.
There was the faint sound of footsteps before KyuJong reappeared in the doorway in his pajamas and with damp hair from the shower. Spotting YoungSaeng on the floor, he blinked in confusion. "Sae-" His voice cut out completely when he saw the journal open, the time traveler stopping dead.
Hearing KyuJong, YoungSaeng whipped around to stare at the older boy. "I...it fell opened, and I...” Not knowing what else to do, he scrambled to his feet and all but threw himself into KyuJong's arms, hugging him tightly.
KyuJong staggered slightly when YoungSaeng collided with him, taking a step back so he wouldn't fall over. Eyes going from YoungSaeng to the journal, his skin paled slightly. He could tell from the state of the paper exactly which page YoungSaeng had seen...the one KyuJong would have given anything for him to not have read.
Throat working, nothing came out, the boy's hands starting to shake. Then, a barely audible whimper came from KyuJong before he disappeared.
YoungSaeng cried out when he felt himself fall to the floor, KyuJong suddenly gone. He remained where he was, mind going a mile a minute. Would KyuJong hate him now? Even though it was an accident, he'd invaded the other's privacy. He wouldn't be surprised if KyuJong would be angry...
For five minutes, there was nothing. Then the space in the doorway was occupied again, KyuJong reappearing as suddenly as he'd vanished. Staggering, KyuJong grabbed onto the doorframe to keep himself upright; the jump had been accidental. He'd just wanted to get away...
Realizing that KyuJong had returned finally, YoungSaeng turned and looked at him, noticing the panic and disorientation. "K-Kyu...?" he asked hesitantly.
Focusing slowly on his surroundings, KyuJong looked up at the sound of his name, panicked eyes landing on YoungSaeng on the ground beside him. He must have fallen when he disappeared. "Are you...okay?" KyuJong asked, but his voice was strained, eyes bleak as his grip on the doorframe tightened slightly.
"Why are you asking about me? Are you okay?" YoungSaeng asked, getting to his feet slowly. Taking KyuJong by the hand, he led him over to the bed and had him sit down. "I don't want you to get sick again, so please, take it easy," he murmured, voice quieter than it had been for a while. He was clearly nervous about whether or not KyuJong was mad at him.
He averted his eyes, unable to look his boyfriend in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but...please don't be mad, though you have every right in the world to be."
KyuJong could only look down at the ground, body shaking slightly from something that wasn't exhaustion from the jump. It took him a while to speak, throat working but nothing happening. "I-I...'m not mad..." His voice was a mumble, accent coming through heavy. "I just...I wish you hadn't..."
His eyes shut tightly, the words he had written years ago haunting his vision. "I didn't want anyone to read that..."
"And I'm sorry...I went to close it after it fell, but..." Sighing, YoungSaeng knelt down before KyuJong and brought a hand up to his cheek. "It's not true, KyuJong. You aren't what you say you are," he whispered, his words meant for no one but KyuJong.
The gentle touch of YoungSaeng's hand against his cheek caused KyuJong to open his eyes slowly, brown orbs glassy. "I am," he intoned quietly, voice shaking. "I am exactly that." A life had ended by his hands. What did you call that if not murder?
"Kyu, have you forgotten? I deal with the dead. In that situation, there was nothing you could have done. If it were me, I would have done the same thing that you did." Running his fingers lightly against KyuJong's cheek, he added, "If that little boy was alive, then he was meant to be. He may not be now, but he will be."
"I should have done nothing." The tears finally spilled at the kind caress, KyuJong looking down. "I knew the rules...don't touch anything, don't change anything. And I...” He shut his eyes tightly. "What if he doesn't ever come back?" The question was practically a whimper. "He didn't deserve to be erased. Even if he was meant to be alive, that changed when the past changed. Reality is different now. What if that new reality has no place for him?" The time traveler was slowly breaking down, crushed under the burden of the young life he had accidentally taken away.
Smiling sadly, YoungSaeng moved to sit on the bed beside KyuJong before pulling him into a hug, hopefully as comforting as KyuJong’s were for him. "Because you remember him. That reason alone proves that he has a place here..." he murmured in the elder's ear.
KyuJong let YoungSaeng pull him into a hug, burying his face in the other boy's shoulder as he cried quietly. "I'm the only one who does," he whispered brokenly. "H-his name was JunWoo...he ran up and down the street offering to help people with things, and Umma used to bring him into the house to bake cookies. He kept saying he was going to be a doctor and cure cancer, and he..." his voice broke and trailed off, his grip on YoungSaeng tightening slightly.
"Now I know him, too, KyuJong," YoungSaeng soothed. "Who knows? Maybe when it's his time on this earth, he really will cure cancer."
"Maybe," KyuJong whispered, shutting his eyes tightly. He would probably never forgive himself for what had happened. While JunWoo's blood had never touched his hands, he considered it as such. But the fact that YoungSaeng didn't blame him or hate him set his nerves at ease as he cried silently.
YoungSaeng quieted and just let KyuJong cry. He knew what it was like to suffer over something like that, so he simply continued to comfort the older boy, glad that he was finally able to be the one to help for a change.
Eventually the tears slowed then ceased to fall, the time traveler soaking in the comfort his boyfriend gave him. He'd never let anyone see him like this before, not even his own family, so it felt a little strange to throw his feelings out into the open rather than keep them locked inside.
Finally he lifted his head slightly, breathing a little uneven. "Thank you," he whispered, not sure what else to say.
YoungSaeng smiled softly. "You have no reason to thank me, Kyu-yah. You've been slowly piecing me back together, and you have no idea how much that means to me. If I can do anything at all to repay you, then I will."
Pulling back slightly, YoungSaeng brushed his lips against KyJong's. "Besides, you did nothing wrong, so you don't need to thank me at all."
KyuJong returned the feather-light kiss, eyes half-closed. "But you've been doing the same thing for me all along," he murmured, eyes opening a little more so he could see YoungSaeng's face, taking in everything. A small smile formed on his lips before he pressed their lips together again, loving how they fit together perfectly.
"Just don't ever let go of my hand," he whispered.
"Never," YoungSaeng murmured against his boyfriend's lips. That said, he reached down and took KyuJong's hand, lacing their fingers together and giving it a firm squeeze.
The contact drew another smile from the time traveler, more real this time as he returned the squeeze. The younger boy seemed to have no idea just how much he was really helping him, but KyuJong knew.
As long as he had YoungSaeng with him, he knew he would be all right.
*****************
YoungSaeng paced back and forth nervously. After waking up-EunAh had been rather insistent on the matter-and eating-YoungSaeng was seriously in love with KyuJong's mother's cooking-the two had gone out to a nearby clearing to practice their gifts.
While he'd agreed, knowing that the more he practiced, the better control he'd have, it still didn't stop YoungSaeng from being afraid to do so.
KyuJong watched YoungSaeng pace for a moment before catching him by the hand. "It'll be all right," he said gently, smiling at his nervous boyfriend. He wanted YoungSaeng to feel comfortable with who he was, and not think of himself as cursed, but that would only come with time and practice.
"I'm right here beside you the entire time," he murmured, squeezing YoungSaeng's hand and framing his face lightly with the other.
YoungSaeng regarded KyuJong carefully before nodding. "I know you will, but I guess I'm just scared to do it," he confessed.
Taking a breath, YoungSaeng closed his eyes before opening them, revealing completely black orbs. Looking around, he slowly and carefully prodded the area. He could feel a young spirit, but it was hiding from his vision. Moving away from KyuJong, he followed the feeling and smiled softly when he saw a young girl not much older than he was.
Crouching down in front of the crying girl, he waited until she looked up. "You okay?" he asked. He must have seemed so weird to KyuJong, talking to thin air.
She looked up, startled. "You can see me?" He nodded. "I can't find my mom. She was just here, but not anymore."
Probing the area more-and shaking off the massive dizzying headache forming-YoungSaeng finally felt something. It felt very similar to the girl. "She's over there," he replied gently.
With a smile, the girl got up and left after yelling out a thank you. Smiling, he moved to get up, but just fell back to the ground.
Of course he'd overdo it on his first try...
KyuJong, spotting the dizziness, was quick to support YoungSaeng when he fell back down. "Close your eyes and rest for a moment," he murmured, sitting down next to him and holding his boyfriend close. He knew how draining using a gift without much experience could be. It looked to have gone well though...he had no idea what kind of exchange had taken place, of course, but from how YoungSaeng had dealt with it the spirit must have been a kind one.
"How was it?" he asked gently, brushing bangs out of YoungSaeng's face and subtly checking to make sure the boy hadn't pushed himself so much he would come down with a fever.
YoungSaeng smiled as he did what KyuJong had said, leaning back against his chest and resting his head on the time traveler’s shoulder, eyes closed.
"A girl about our age. She couldn't find her mother and was crying. She was just over there," YoungSaeng explained quietly, not wanting to make the headache worse now that it was starting to fade as he pointed toward the foresty area a bit away.
Running his fingers soothingly through YoungSaeng's hair, KyuJong smiled. "Was it hard to talk to her?" he questioned. If they knew what was the hardest part about the interaction, what had caused the dizziness, then they would know what could be improved on and practiced. He was glad the spirit was a kind one though; it would help YoungSaeng more than spirits who might mean harm.
Thinking about it, YoungSaeng shrugged slightly, purring at the fingers running through his hair. "It wasn't her that was hard to talk to...it was the background noise," he explained. "Have you ever heard of the concept of white noise? Or EVPs in ghost shows or movies?"
"I've heard of white noise..." KyuJong frowned lightly as he thought, though the purring caused his expression to soften. "Only in passing though. Explain?" He rested his head lightly against YoungSaeng's and closed his own eyes, listening to the steady sound of the other boy breathing.
"White noise and EVP are spirits trying to communicate with the living plane. They can't be heard with the naked ear, but when I activate my power, I can hear it," YoungSaeng told him, explaining as best he could. "It's almost like...you know how sometimes when you're listening to the radio and you catch the feed from another station on top of it? Like that."
KyuJong nodded slowly. "And the more white noise there is, the harder it is on you?" The amount of spirits out here in the rural neighborhood wouldn't be that high, but in cities like Seoul there would be so many more.
"Right. I always get headaches since I'm not used to the sounds," YoungSaeng replied. "There's also the added background noise of this plane, as well. It's just a lot to take in at once, so it's a bit of an overload on my senses."
The time traveler thought about that for a moment. "What if...you were to try activating your powers for small amounts of time? Just to get used to the noise. Do you think that would help prevent headaches in the future?" He kissed YoungSaeng's temple.
YoungSaeng opened his eyes and turned around to look at KyuJong, thoughtful look on his face. "Maybe..." he replied, smiling at the kiss placed to his temple.
Opening his eyes as well, KyuJong smiled and kissed the corner of YoungSaeng's lips when the other boy looked at him. "If your gift works in any way like mine, even using it in small ways like that will make it a little easier to deal with," he pointed out. "It'll give you less to worry about if you're in a situation where you need to talk to spirits, or if your gift suddenly activates."
Nodding along with his words, YoungSaeng turned a bit more, kissing his boyfriend. "What about you? How'd you get so much control?"
KyuJong kissed him back, lips brushing lightly together. "It was more...involuntary practice on my part," he chuckled sheepishly. "At first any sort of jump would knock me out for weeks at a time, and as you know, when I'm sick, my control is next to none. It was more or less a continuous cycle of time jumping, passing out, regaining some small amount of energy, jumping again, and passing out again. It meant a lot of practice whether I wanted to participate or not."
YoungSaeng nodded before turning and wrapping his arms around KyuJong. "That must have been so hard..."
"It was...interesting. Though I'm glad that doesn't happen anymore." KyuJong wrapped his arms around YoungSaeng's waist in return, kissing the boy's nose. "I'm surprised EunAh hasn't tried to startle me yet. That girl has a knack for landing me in the worst situations possible. Did you know there was a fight here between two different squadrons of soldiers over 6 centuries ago? The only reason they didn't impale me was probably because someone appearing out of thin air would spook even the best of fighters."
YoungSaeng pulled back a bit and just stared. "How did you end up in the middle of a fight six centuries ago because of your sister?"
"She popped up out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of me," KyuJong said solemnly, the corner of his lips curling upwards. "Next thing I know I'm being shot at. She makes sure my reflexes are top-notch."
"You were shot at?!?!" YoungSaeng cried. "Are you serious?!"
"Very serious. I've made sure to avoid that particular timeframe ever since." KyuJong kissed YoungSaeng. "EunAh on the other hand, seems to be aiming for it. I think she wants me to bring her back an arrow as a souvenir. She's probably behaving now because she's worried you'll string her to the ceiling if I end up there again."
"Then I'll buy her one next time I visit. She is not pulling one out of you when you get back..." YoungSaeng grumbled before smirking. "And you can absolutely count on that one. I'd rather have you in one piece, thank you very much."
KyuJong laughed at that, nuzzling his boyfriend affectionately. "Glad to know. Though coming back to find her tied to the ceiling wouldn't be that bad." He kissed YoungSaeng again, humming happily.
Smiling into the kiss, YoungSaeng returned it, a small laugh slipping from his lips. He let his arms drape lazily over KyuJong's shoulders as he parted his lips, silently asking for more.
All too happy to give it, KyuJong deepened the kiss, one hand moving to between the other boy's shoulder blades as their tongues met. His eyes closed after a moment, taking in the feeling of YoungSaeng pressed up against him.
YoungSaeng, as always, melted into the other's touch. KyuJong never failed to make him feel so many things at once. One of his arms curled up as his hand began playing with his hair lightly, his body unconsciously moving closer.
A soft noise left the older boy at the increased proximity, KyuJong responding by easing YoungSaeng into his lap more comfortably. It was nothing short of amazing...he honestly wished they could just stay like this forever.
Kissing him back and running his hand along the other boy's back, KyuJong didn't notice the sound of the breeze running through the field cease, as did all sounds of life around them.
As caught up in KyuJong's ministrations as he was, YoungSaeng noticed the sudden dead silence. Pulling back to breathe, YoungSaeng began slowly looking around, expression nothing short of awestruck.
Nothing moved. A few leaves were suspended in the air and the trees were blowing, yet he felt no wind. Turning back to KyuJong, eyes wide with wonder, he asked, "Kyu, did you do this?"
KyuJong opened his eyes, blinking. "Hm?" After a moment he realized what was going on, and he flushed red. "Oops." He hadn't meant to stop time, his gift responding to his thoughts of staying here in this moment forever.
His hand automatically found YoungSaeng's, making sure they were in as much contact as possible, as he focused on keeping his gift activated even though it had been accidental. "I'd ask if you want to walk around but I don't think I'll be able to get up now," he said sheepishly.
"Maybe you should stop using your power for right now then, We can work on getting you to be aware of your power while distracted...and I definitely have no problem being the distraction," YoungSaeng stated, leaning in for a kiss before pulling away with a sudden thought.
"...Before you do, though..." Taking a deep breath, YoungSaeng tapped into his power, but pushed it a bit further. "Your power only works on the living. The spirit plane is still untouched by this," he observed, allowing his eyes to return to their normal color.
"So none of the spirits in the area are affected by time stopping?" KyuJong questioned. Sensing he had reached his limit and if he kept time at a standstill for much longer he would pass out on the spot, he released his gift. The world around them restarted as he dropped his head onto YoungSaeng's shoulder with an exhausted sigh.
It didn't take long for the shaking to start, but somehow it wasn't as bad as it had been at the school, confirming the idea that his anger at MyungDae had been what pushed him over the edge. "I just need a moment," he murmured, resting against YoungSaeng.
"There are no spirits here at the moment, but the white noise is still there, and I can still feel movement," YoungSaeng replied.
As KyuJong began shaking, thank God it was better than before, he smiled gently. "Take as long as you need, Kyu-yah."
KyuJong smiled faintly, turning his head slightly so his nose brushed against YoungSaeng's neck. "That's interesting to know..." he murmured. "Do you think, if there was a spirit nearby, you would be able to communicate with them the same with time stopped as you are able to normally?"
A thought suddenly occurred to him. "I wonder what they see while I'm in the middle of a jump..." In those moments where he, technically speaking, didn't exist.
Shivering at the feel of the lips against his neck, YoungSaeng answered, voice slightly shaky. "A-as long as I'm not frozen as well, I could. And there's also the possibility of me being able to avoid your power if I activate my own first."
Smiling slightly, YoungSaeng moved to lie down in the grass, bringing KyuJong down with him. "Tomorrow, it looks like we have a few experiments to conduct."
"Tomorrow," KyuJong agreed, head spinning as he let YoungSaeng bring him down to the ground. Looks like he might pass out anyways. Hearing the shaking in YoungSaeng's voice, he moved his head slightly to kiss the other boy. "How are you feeling?"
He was glad they were able to try out their gifts a little though, knowing the practice would help in the long run.
"I feel better," YoungSaeng replied. "If you're referring to the shaking, that would be your fault," he teased lightly, leaning into the kiss.
"Sorry," KyuJong chuckled tiredly against his boyfriend's lips.
Everything was starting to fade out, but he felt more at peace than the last time he'd passed out, without the uneasy feeling that he wouldn't be able to move for days after. "Saeng?" he whispered.
Noticing that KyuJong was barely awake, YoungSaeng tilted his head. "Yeah?" he asked quietly, allowing his lips to lightly brush over his boyfriend's.
The light brush of lips grew a tired smile to KyuJong's lips, especially when through the haze invading his mind he realized their hands were still linked. He tilted his head slightly, returning the butterfly-like kiss as his lips formed the words 'I love you' against his boyfriend's.
Then the time traveler's eyes flustered shut and he relaxed completely against the other boy, fast asleep.
Smiling at the words against his lips, YoungSaeng watched KyuJong fall asleep before he curled up against the time traveler, following soon after.
Authors: renichifreak and yeonah
Chapter: 18/?
Fandom: SS501
Pairings: KyuSaeng (may be other pairings in the future)
Rating: PG-16
Warning: Angst, AU, Fluff
Summary: Not everything is as it seems, and for those who are as far from normal as you can get, life is a bleak existence. The only ones who can truly understand what these individuals go through are those...just like them.
A/N: YoungSaeng is played by renichifreak and KyuJong is played by me. Updates will be every Wednesday <3
There were weird blotches on the paper, the ink of the pen running slightly where tears had fallen and dried. Entire paragraphs were scribbled out so thoroughly they couldn't be read.
It was a mistake, I swear it. I didn't know. This isn't what I wanted to do. Why didn't I think of it? Going back changes the past...which changes the present.
The entire paragraph after was scribbled out, but the ones following were legible.
25 years...it was a long time ago. I just wanted to see what it was like. I didn't want to do anything else. Maybe bring something back for EunAh. That lady...was I supposed to just let her be hit by that car? She was supposed to be. She wasn't though, because I pushed her away. I shouldn't have. I thought I was doing something good.
Do you know who that lady was? She is that lady that today lives across the street with that cute little kid that helps Umma all the time. Do you know who the man in that car was? He was the man she was supposed to marry. But they didn't marry...because they never met. I stopped them from meeting.
And that little boy? Their adorable little son who was so friendly to everyone and so happy all the time? He's gone. He was never born. No one knows his name, no one knows who he is, because he never existed. But he did…he did exist. I killed him.
Am I a murderer now?
YoungSaeng simply stared at the page, tears building in his own eyes. This was how KyuJong felt? While he understood that powers like theirs had a dark side, there was no way that his kind and sweet KyuJong was a murderer.
There was no way.
There was the faint sound of footsteps before KyuJong reappeared in the doorway in his pajamas and with damp hair from the shower. Spotting YoungSaeng on the floor, he blinked in confusion. "Sae-" His voice cut out completely when he saw the journal open, the time traveler stopping dead.
Hearing KyuJong, YoungSaeng whipped around to stare at the older boy. "I...it fell opened, and I...” Not knowing what else to do, he scrambled to his feet and all but threw himself into KyuJong's arms, hugging him tightly.
KyuJong staggered slightly when YoungSaeng collided with him, taking a step back so he wouldn't fall over. Eyes going from YoungSaeng to the journal, his skin paled slightly. He could tell from the state of the paper exactly which page YoungSaeng had seen...the one KyuJong would have given anything for him to not have read.
Throat working, nothing came out, the boy's hands starting to shake. Then, a barely audible whimper came from KyuJong before he disappeared.
YoungSaeng cried out when he felt himself fall to the floor, KyuJong suddenly gone. He remained where he was, mind going a mile a minute. Would KyuJong hate him now? Even though it was an accident, he'd invaded the other's privacy. He wouldn't be surprised if KyuJong would be angry...
For five minutes, there was nothing. Then the space in the doorway was occupied again, KyuJong reappearing as suddenly as he'd vanished. Staggering, KyuJong grabbed onto the doorframe to keep himself upright; the jump had been accidental. He'd just wanted to get away...
Realizing that KyuJong had returned finally, YoungSaeng turned and looked at him, noticing the panic and disorientation. "K-Kyu...?" he asked hesitantly.
Focusing slowly on his surroundings, KyuJong looked up at the sound of his name, panicked eyes landing on YoungSaeng on the ground beside him. He must have fallen when he disappeared. "Are you...okay?" KyuJong asked, but his voice was strained, eyes bleak as his grip on the doorframe tightened slightly.
"Why are you asking about me? Are you okay?" YoungSaeng asked, getting to his feet slowly. Taking KyuJong by the hand, he led him over to the bed and had him sit down. "I don't want you to get sick again, so please, take it easy," he murmured, voice quieter than it had been for a while. He was clearly nervous about whether or not KyuJong was mad at him.
He averted his eyes, unable to look his boyfriend in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but...please don't be mad, though you have every right in the world to be."
KyuJong could only look down at the ground, body shaking slightly from something that wasn't exhaustion from the jump. It took him a while to speak, throat working but nothing happening. "I-I...'m not mad..." His voice was a mumble, accent coming through heavy. "I just...I wish you hadn't..."
His eyes shut tightly, the words he had written years ago haunting his vision. "I didn't want anyone to read that..."
"And I'm sorry...I went to close it after it fell, but..." Sighing, YoungSaeng knelt down before KyuJong and brought a hand up to his cheek. "It's not true, KyuJong. You aren't what you say you are," he whispered, his words meant for no one but KyuJong.
The gentle touch of YoungSaeng's hand against his cheek caused KyuJong to open his eyes slowly, brown orbs glassy. "I am," he intoned quietly, voice shaking. "I am exactly that." A life had ended by his hands. What did you call that if not murder?
"Kyu, have you forgotten? I deal with the dead. In that situation, there was nothing you could have done. If it were me, I would have done the same thing that you did." Running his fingers lightly against KyuJong's cheek, he added, "If that little boy was alive, then he was meant to be. He may not be now, but he will be."
"I should have done nothing." The tears finally spilled at the kind caress, KyuJong looking down. "I knew the rules...don't touch anything, don't change anything. And I...” He shut his eyes tightly. "What if he doesn't ever come back?" The question was practically a whimper. "He didn't deserve to be erased. Even if he was meant to be alive, that changed when the past changed. Reality is different now. What if that new reality has no place for him?" The time traveler was slowly breaking down, crushed under the burden of the young life he had accidentally taken away.
Smiling sadly, YoungSaeng moved to sit on the bed beside KyuJong before pulling him into a hug, hopefully as comforting as KyuJong’s were for him. "Because you remember him. That reason alone proves that he has a place here..." he murmured in the elder's ear.
KyuJong let YoungSaeng pull him into a hug, burying his face in the other boy's shoulder as he cried quietly. "I'm the only one who does," he whispered brokenly. "H-his name was JunWoo...he ran up and down the street offering to help people with things, and Umma used to bring him into the house to bake cookies. He kept saying he was going to be a doctor and cure cancer, and he..." his voice broke and trailed off, his grip on YoungSaeng tightening slightly.
"Now I know him, too, KyuJong," YoungSaeng soothed. "Who knows? Maybe when it's his time on this earth, he really will cure cancer."
"Maybe," KyuJong whispered, shutting his eyes tightly. He would probably never forgive himself for what had happened. While JunWoo's blood had never touched his hands, he considered it as such. But the fact that YoungSaeng didn't blame him or hate him set his nerves at ease as he cried silently.
YoungSaeng quieted and just let KyuJong cry. He knew what it was like to suffer over something like that, so he simply continued to comfort the older boy, glad that he was finally able to be the one to help for a change.
Eventually the tears slowed then ceased to fall, the time traveler soaking in the comfort his boyfriend gave him. He'd never let anyone see him like this before, not even his own family, so it felt a little strange to throw his feelings out into the open rather than keep them locked inside.
Finally he lifted his head slightly, breathing a little uneven. "Thank you," he whispered, not sure what else to say.
YoungSaeng smiled softly. "You have no reason to thank me, Kyu-yah. You've been slowly piecing me back together, and you have no idea how much that means to me. If I can do anything at all to repay you, then I will."
Pulling back slightly, YoungSaeng brushed his lips against KyJong's. "Besides, you did nothing wrong, so you don't need to thank me at all."
KyuJong returned the feather-light kiss, eyes half-closed. "But you've been doing the same thing for me all along," he murmured, eyes opening a little more so he could see YoungSaeng's face, taking in everything. A small smile formed on his lips before he pressed their lips together again, loving how they fit together perfectly.
"Just don't ever let go of my hand," he whispered.
"Never," YoungSaeng murmured against his boyfriend's lips. That said, he reached down and took KyuJong's hand, lacing their fingers together and giving it a firm squeeze.
The contact drew another smile from the time traveler, more real this time as he returned the squeeze. The younger boy seemed to have no idea just how much he was really helping him, but KyuJong knew.
As long as he had YoungSaeng with him, he knew he would be all right.
*****************
YoungSaeng paced back and forth nervously. After waking up-EunAh had been rather insistent on the matter-and eating-YoungSaeng was seriously in love with KyuJong's mother's cooking-the two had gone out to a nearby clearing to practice their gifts.
While he'd agreed, knowing that the more he practiced, the better control he'd have, it still didn't stop YoungSaeng from being afraid to do so.
KyuJong watched YoungSaeng pace for a moment before catching him by the hand. "It'll be all right," he said gently, smiling at his nervous boyfriend. He wanted YoungSaeng to feel comfortable with who he was, and not think of himself as cursed, but that would only come with time and practice.
"I'm right here beside you the entire time," he murmured, squeezing YoungSaeng's hand and framing his face lightly with the other.
YoungSaeng regarded KyuJong carefully before nodding. "I know you will, but I guess I'm just scared to do it," he confessed.
Taking a breath, YoungSaeng closed his eyes before opening them, revealing completely black orbs. Looking around, he slowly and carefully prodded the area. He could feel a young spirit, but it was hiding from his vision. Moving away from KyuJong, he followed the feeling and smiled softly when he saw a young girl not much older than he was.
Crouching down in front of the crying girl, he waited until she looked up. "You okay?" he asked. He must have seemed so weird to KyuJong, talking to thin air.
She looked up, startled. "You can see me?" He nodded. "I can't find my mom. She was just here, but not anymore."
Probing the area more-and shaking off the massive dizzying headache forming-YoungSaeng finally felt something. It felt very similar to the girl. "She's over there," he replied gently.
With a smile, the girl got up and left after yelling out a thank you. Smiling, he moved to get up, but just fell back to the ground.
Of course he'd overdo it on his first try...
KyuJong, spotting the dizziness, was quick to support YoungSaeng when he fell back down. "Close your eyes and rest for a moment," he murmured, sitting down next to him and holding his boyfriend close. He knew how draining using a gift without much experience could be. It looked to have gone well though...he had no idea what kind of exchange had taken place, of course, but from how YoungSaeng had dealt with it the spirit must have been a kind one.
"How was it?" he asked gently, brushing bangs out of YoungSaeng's face and subtly checking to make sure the boy hadn't pushed himself so much he would come down with a fever.
YoungSaeng smiled as he did what KyuJong had said, leaning back against his chest and resting his head on the time traveler’s shoulder, eyes closed.
"A girl about our age. She couldn't find her mother and was crying. She was just over there," YoungSaeng explained quietly, not wanting to make the headache worse now that it was starting to fade as he pointed toward the foresty area a bit away.
Running his fingers soothingly through YoungSaeng's hair, KyuJong smiled. "Was it hard to talk to her?" he questioned. If they knew what was the hardest part about the interaction, what had caused the dizziness, then they would know what could be improved on and practiced. He was glad the spirit was a kind one though; it would help YoungSaeng more than spirits who might mean harm.
Thinking about it, YoungSaeng shrugged slightly, purring at the fingers running through his hair. "It wasn't her that was hard to talk to...it was the background noise," he explained. "Have you ever heard of the concept of white noise? Or EVPs in ghost shows or movies?"
"I've heard of white noise..." KyuJong frowned lightly as he thought, though the purring caused his expression to soften. "Only in passing though. Explain?" He rested his head lightly against YoungSaeng's and closed his own eyes, listening to the steady sound of the other boy breathing.
"White noise and EVP are spirits trying to communicate with the living plane. They can't be heard with the naked ear, but when I activate my power, I can hear it," YoungSaeng told him, explaining as best he could. "It's almost like...you know how sometimes when you're listening to the radio and you catch the feed from another station on top of it? Like that."
KyuJong nodded slowly. "And the more white noise there is, the harder it is on you?" The amount of spirits out here in the rural neighborhood wouldn't be that high, but in cities like Seoul there would be so many more.
"Right. I always get headaches since I'm not used to the sounds," YoungSaeng replied. "There's also the added background noise of this plane, as well. It's just a lot to take in at once, so it's a bit of an overload on my senses."
The time traveler thought about that for a moment. "What if...you were to try activating your powers for small amounts of time? Just to get used to the noise. Do you think that would help prevent headaches in the future?" He kissed YoungSaeng's temple.
YoungSaeng opened his eyes and turned around to look at KyuJong, thoughtful look on his face. "Maybe..." he replied, smiling at the kiss placed to his temple.
Opening his eyes as well, KyuJong smiled and kissed the corner of YoungSaeng's lips when the other boy looked at him. "If your gift works in any way like mine, even using it in small ways like that will make it a little easier to deal with," he pointed out. "It'll give you less to worry about if you're in a situation where you need to talk to spirits, or if your gift suddenly activates."
Nodding along with his words, YoungSaeng turned a bit more, kissing his boyfriend. "What about you? How'd you get so much control?"
KyuJong kissed him back, lips brushing lightly together. "It was more...involuntary practice on my part," he chuckled sheepishly. "At first any sort of jump would knock me out for weeks at a time, and as you know, when I'm sick, my control is next to none. It was more or less a continuous cycle of time jumping, passing out, regaining some small amount of energy, jumping again, and passing out again. It meant a lot of practice whether I wanted to participate or not."
YoungSaeng nodded before turning and wrapping his arms around KyuJong. "That must have been so hard..."
"It was...interesting. Though I'm glad that doesn't happen anymore." KyuJong wrapped his arms around YoungSaeng's waist in return, kissing the boy's nose. "I'm surprised EunAh hasn't tried to startle me yet. That girl has a knack for landing me in the worst situations possible. Did you know there was a fight here between two different squadrons of soldiers over 6 centuries ago? The only reason they didn't impale me was probably because someone appearing out of thin air would spook even the best of fighters."
YoungSaeng pulled back a bit and just stared. "How did you end up in the middle of a fight six centuries ago because of your sister?"
"She popped up out of nowhere and scared the living daylights out of me," KyuJong said solemnly, the corner of his lips curling upwards. "Next thing I know I'm being shot at. She makes sure my reflexes are top-notch."
"You were shot at?!?!" YoungSaeng cried. "Are you serious?!"
"Very serious. I've made sure to avoid that particular timeframe ever since." KyuJong kissed YoungSaeng. "EunAh on the other hand, seems to be aiming for it. I think she wants me to bring her back an arrow as a souvenir. She's probably behaving now because she's worried you'll string her to the ceiling if I end up there again."
"Then I'll buy her one next time I visit. She is not pulling one out of you when you get back..." YoungSaeng grumbled before smirking. "And you can absolutely count on that one. I'd rather have you in one piece, thank you very much."
KyuJong laughed at that, nuzzling his boyfriend affectionately. "Glad to know. Though coming back to find her tied to the ceiling wouldn't be that bad." He kissed YoungSaeng again, humming happily.
Smiling into the kiss, YoungSaeng returned it, a small laugh slipping from his lips. He let his arms drape lazily over KyuJong's shoulders as he parted his lips, silently asking for more.
All too happy to give it, KyuJong deepened the kiss, one hand moving to between the other boy's shoulder blades as their tongues met. His eyes closed after a moment, taking in the feeling of YoungSaeng pressed up against him.
YoungSaeng, as always, melted into the other's touch. KyuJong never failed to make him feel so many things at once. One of his arms curled up as his hand began playing with his hair lightly, his body unconsciously moving closer.
A soft noise left the older boy at the increased proximity, KyuJong responding by easing YoungSaeng into his lap more comfortably. It was nothing short of amazing...he honestly wished they could just stay like this forever.
Kissing him back and running his hand along the other boy's back, KyuJong didn't notice the sound of the breeze running through the field cease, as did all sounds of life around them.
As caught up in KyuJong's ministrations as he was, YoungSaeng noticed the sudden dead silence. Pulling back to breathe, YoungSaeng began slowly looking around, expression nothing short of awestruck.
Nothing moved. A few leaves were suspended in the air and the trees were blowing, yet he felt no wind. Turning back to KyuJong, eyes wide with wonder, he asked, "Kyu, did you do this?"
KyuJong opened his eyes, blinking. "Hm?" After a moment he realized what was going on, and he flushed red. "Oops." He hadn't meant to stop time, his gift responding to his thoughts of staying here in this moment forever.
His hand automatically found YoungSaeng's, making sure they were in as much contact as possible, as he focused on keeping his gift activated even though it had been accidental. "I'd ask if you want to walk around but I don't think I'll be able to get up now," he said sheepishly.
"Maybe you should stop using your power for right now then, We can work on getting you to be aware of your power while distracted...and I definitely have no problem being the distraction," YoungSaeng stated, leaning in for a kiss before pulling away with a sudden thought.
"...Before you do, though..." Taking a deep breath, YoungSaeng tapped into his power, but pushed it a bit further. "Your power only works on the living. The spirit plane is still untouched by this," he observed, allowing his eyes to return to their normal color.
"So none of the spirits in the area are affected by time stopping?" KyuJong questioned. Sensing he had reached his limit and if he kept time at a standstill for much longer he would pass out on the spot, he released his gift. The world around them restarted as he dropped his head onto YoungSaeng's shoulder with an exhausted sigh.
It didn't take long for the shaking to start, but somehow it wasn't as bad as it had been at the school, confirming the idea that his anger at MyungDae had been what pushed him over the edge. "I just need a moment," he murmured, resting against YoungSaeng.
"There are no spirits here at the moment, but the white noise is still there, and I can still feel movement," YoungSaeng replied.
As KyuJong began shaking, thank God it was better than before, he smiled gently. "Take as long as you need, Kyu-yah."
KyuJong smiled faintly, turning his head slightly so his nose brushed against YoungSaeng's neck. "That's interesting to know..." he murmured. "Do you think, if there was a spirit nearby, you would be able to communicate with them the same with time stopped as you are able to normally?"
A thought suddenly occurred to him. "I wonder what they see while I'm in the middle of a jump..." In those moments where he, technically speaking, didn't exist.
Shivering at the feel of the lips against his neck, YoungSaeng answered, voice slightly shaky. "A-as long as I'm not frozen as well, I could. And there's also the possibility of me being able to avoid your power if I activate my own first."
Smiling slightly, YoungSaeng moved to lie down in the grass, bringing KyuJong down with him. "Tomorrow, it looks like we have a few experiments to conduct."
"Tomorrow," KyuJong agreed, head spinning as he let YoungSaeng bring him down to the ground. Looks like he might pass out anyways. Hearing the shaking in YoungSaeng's voice, he moved his head slightly to kiss the other boy. "How are you feeling?"
He was glad they were able to try out their gifts a little though, knowing the practice would help in the long run.
"I feel better," YoungSaeng replied. "If you're referring to the shaking, that would be your fault," he teased lightly, leaning into the kiss.
"Sorry," KyuJong chuckled tiredly against his boyfriend's lips.
Everything was starting to fade out, but he felt more at peace than the last time he'd passed out, without the uneasy feeling that he wouldn't be able to move for days after. "Saeng?" he whispered.
Noticing that KyuJong was barely awake, YoungSaeng tilted his head. "Yeah?" he asked quietly, allowing his lips to lightly brush over his boyfriend's.
The light brush of lips grew a tired smile to KyuJong's lips, especially when through the haze invading his mind he realized their hands were still linked. He tilted his head slightly, returning the butterfly-like kiss as his lips formed the words 'I love you' against his boyfriend's.
Then the time traveler's eyes flustered shut and he relaxed completely against the other boy, fast asleep.
Smiling at the words against his lips, YoungSaeng watched KyuJong fall asleep before he curled up against the time traveler, following soon after.