exo drabble collection
exo drabble collection
kyungsoo-centric
pg to r; general, au/ar, humor
i. maybe they met through kai
Drunken giggles and smiles vanish between Yixing's soft lips. He takes Kyungsoo's hand and slides it up his shirt. Kyungsoo breaks into a fit of giggles as the older boy embellishes his neck with chaste kisses and wet licks. His back presses uncomfortably against a dusty bookshelf as Yixing starts to grind their hips together in a metronome rhythm.
"(Ha..ha) Stop, what if (ha.. haha) Jongin finds us?" Kyungsoo whispers between kisses, his words slurring from the alcohol.
The Chinese boy chokes out a laugh, its sound seemingly ringing throughout the small closet they're occupying. He replies, equally intoxicated, "He won't."
"Hyung, (ha..ha) you look so damn fine right now.. (hahaha..)" Kyungsoo's fingers trace over the contours of Yixing's collar bones; he lazily presses his lips against them before placing his mouth over Yixing's.
"Hot damn.." are the last coherent words uttered before Yixing lifts up Kyungsoo's shirt and slowly starts unbuckling his pants...
They stagger out of the closet and into the empty hallway with tousled hair and sweaty backs half an hour later. They almost lose each other in the sea of rave-dancing college kids the second they enter the living room. They escape Baekhyun's drunken little glowstick show and meet up with Jongin at the front door of the abode. Yixing hands Kyungsoo over to Jongin, who effortlessly swings Kyungsoo's body up so that he is carrying him bridal style.
"Thanks for taking care of him," Jongin tells Yixing with a genuine smile. He pinches the bridge of Kyungsoo's nose gently and laughs. Yixing only nods, turning back towards the living room.
"You are so drunk, hyung," Jongin says, laughing as he walks towards his car. "Did you have a good time?"
"(Haha..) I had a (..ha) wonderful time (ha..ha..)" Kyungsoo replies.
ii. in my head, d.o. is a hot-headed housewife and suho is the adorable husband
Joonmyun and Kyungsoo were a lovely couple with just one single child-Kim Sehun. Sehun was a prince in their eyes; they believed he was perfect and could do no wrong. If Sehun ever made a mistake, the fault lied with someone else.
When Sehun was six and had recurring nightmares from secretly watching The Grudge, they blamed the babysitter for not supervising their son. When Sehun was twelve and riled up a fistfight, they blamed the other kids' parents for teaching their children improper ways. And when the time came that Sehun was finally eighteen and was caught peeping in the girls' bathroom, they blamed...
"Principal Wu!" Kyungsoo said accusingly with both hands on his hips. "I can't believe you're even considering Sehun-he didn't do anything wrong!"
"Sit down, dear..." Soft-hearted Joonmyun murmured, patting Kyungsoo's arm gently.
"No, I will not!" Kyungsoo's voice raised up by eight decibels and Joonmyun slowly withdrew his hand. Sehun sat with his back slouched comfortably against the back padding of the chair, his gaze drawn downward and his thumbs twiddling in a nervous fashion. The nameplate propped neatly on the wooden desk read Wu Yifan in shiny golden letters. Yifan brought his folded hands up to his chin.
"Mr. Kim-"
"Excuse me, but I'd still rather be called by my bachelor name, thank you very much." Kyungsoo interjected.
Yifan sighed and nodded, "Ahem. Yes, well, Mr. Do... you do understand that, as a male, trespassing into the girls' washroom is prohibited and a violation of our school code, correct?"
"Oh, don't pull that shit on me, Yifan-" Kyungsoo barked, a look of disdain etched deep into the lines of his face.
Joonmyun pressed a hand to his mouth with wide eyes, "D-dear!"
"-I am very familiar with the school's rules," A subtle transition to frustration settled in his voice. "I just don't understand why Sehun has to be subjected to the punishment. I mean, if you just put on some damned locks on the bathrooms, this wouldn't have happened."
One of Yifan's thick eyebrows slowly arched upward. "Pardon?"
"For Pete's sake, man; you have to take precautions!" Kyungsoo began pacing about the room, flailing an arm here and there. "You really think a plastic sign labeled Women's Restroom is going to stop a school of horny teenage boys from barging right in?"
"..Signs are created for a purpose, Mr. D-"
"Wrong!" Kyungsoo slapped a palm hard on the principal's desk. The previously organized array of papers and pens went disoriented. "Only an idiot would think that, an idiot!"
"...An idiot, you say?"
Joonmyun opened up the envelope using a letter opener and, upon seeing its contents, frowned. "Darling," he called out to Kyungsoo, who was preparing a meal in the kitchen. "they sent us Sehun's.. um, expulsion letter."
"Good riddance." The other responded with a jagged edge to their tone, "I never want to see anything from that school again."
Joonmyun only nodded and headed for Sehun's bedroom, but not before picking up a little something from the toolbox under the bathroom sink. He found his son sprawled on his bed, eyes glued to the tiny television in the corner of the room. Joonmyun took a seat on the foot of the bed and let a pause ensue before speaking.
"Son, your mother's got it tough as it is," Joonmyun rolled the magazine in his hand into a tube, "I know it wasn't your fault, but I'd like you to try to stay out of trouble. Okay, champ?"
Sehun's gaze on the tv didn't break. "Yeah. I got it, dad."
Joonmyun took in a deep breath before thrusting the magazine into Sehun's stomach. "This isn't much like the real thing, but just... keep yourself away from the girls' bathroom, will you?"
He silently strode out of the room. It was not until commercial break that Sehun had glanced away from the television screen only to discover that his father had supplied him with one single piece of erotic literature.
iii. i was listening to justin's "good foot" and i couldn't stop thinking about that shady-sneaking scene in shark tale
12:05 am. Empty city streets.
"You got the stuff, right?"
"I'm not an idiot, of course I brought it."
Kyungsoo zipped open his backpack a crack, revealing two sandwich bags packed to the core with slightly grounded cannabis. Joonmyun's eyes glowed with a whimsical euphoria. He took Kyungsoo by the shoulder and laughed. "Holy mother of everything that is glorious and rich! How did you manage to get this much?"
"Shhh!" Kyungsoo slapped Joonmyun's hand away and hastily zipped up his bag, his head scanning left and right for any unwanted audience in the streets. His voice was stricken with paranoia. "My guy grows this stuff straight out of his basement. And he grows a lot it, apparently."
"Apparently? You don't know for sure?" Joonmyun said in a quiet voice. They began to make their way to the EXO hideout. Kyungsoo was frequently looking back over his shoulder, checking every ten seconds or so.
He shook his head and stuck his hands in his pockets. "No, we only talked on the phone. I didn't actually see the product until today.."
"Well, whatever! Doesn't matter right?" The older boy's face lit up, "With this much hash, we're a shoo in for EXO. That'll teach Kris to call me 'uncool'!"
"Hey, Joonmyun!"
"Gah!" Kyungsoo nearly dropped his backpack, which he was carrying in his arms instead of wearing on his shoulders. He hugged the bag tight against his chest and shifted his gaze from Joonmyun to the the stranger. "Who's this?"
"Oh, it's Luhan." Joonmyun chuckled sheepishly, one hand scratching the back of his head. "He's the, uh... son of the chief of the police."
Kyungsoo's eyes seemed to grow to the size of the moon. He stared hard at his friend, mouthing furiously, the chief's son?!
"Hey, is your friend alright? He looks scared or something..." Luhan said with a slight frown. He squinted his eyes at Kyungsoo and stepped a foot closer. "You're not... hiding anything, are you?"
"Uhh.."
"No! Don't mind Kyungsoo, he always looks like this!" Joonmyun responded cheerily. He slung an arm around the other boy's shoulder. "He's super rich in eye whites!"
"...Right." Luhan replied bluntly. He was beginning to feel an oncoming awkward tension to this conversation... "Well, I'm off to work! If you guys come to Pochi's at 2 am, you get a bubble tea on the house!"
Kyungsoo slapped Joonmyun's chest with the back of his hand once Luhan was out of earshot. Joonmyun winced, "Ow~"
"The chief's son! Unbelievable! And you wanted to go through with this!"
Now underground in a subway station, the boys searched for a band of misfits loitering around. They found the tall leader, Yifan-though everyone just called him Kris-near the stairs at the opposite end of the station. He was drinking something out of a paper bag and passing it around with two of his fellow gang members. One of them-a sort of gangly looking black-haired kid-spotted Joonmyun and laughed, "Duizhang, look, it's your number one fanboy!"
Joonmyun's face reddened. "I am not his fanboy! And for your information, we've got the stuff, okay?"
Kris exchanged looks with his posse before walking over to the Korean duo. Joonmyun glanced nervously at Kyungsoo, and the other shakily handed over his backpack. The same gangly kid snatched it without question, his hands tearing furiously at the zipper.
"Tao." The gang leader barked, "Careful, you might ruin the product."
Tao scoffed but proceeded with extracting the weed a little more delicately. Small hoots and whistles of praise sounded as Tao brought up two hefty bags of marijuana. The last gang member pulled back his lips into a grin, a single dimple embedded itself onto his right cheek.
"Not bad, huh, duizhang?" The dimpled member said cheekily.
"Yeah. Not bad, huh, duizhang?" Joonmyun repeated, his arms crossed smugly over his chest. He winked to his partner, Kyungsoo. If things went according to plan, Kris would be showering the two of them with compliments any second now. Again, if things went according to plan.
And they never do.
Kris remained firm, his brow furrowed into an expression of great displeasure. He took a bag from Tao, weighing it in his hand and opening it up to smell its contents. He narrowed his eyes and snarled, "You think you can get away with this shit?"
The tall Chinese man didn't flinch even as the plastic hit the floor and cannabis spilled all over the concrete. He pulled out a pocketknife. "You think I'm stupid? I have eyes, I can tell grass from pot and that shit on the ground is definitely not pot."
"What the-" Joonmyun's eyes instinctively fleeted to Kyungsoo. "I thought you told me it was legit stuff-I thought you said your guy grew it straight out of his basement!"
"It is-he does!" Kyungsoo replied, offended that Joonmyun would even think he would lie to him. They both whipped their heads toward the approaching Kris. Boy if looks could kill. "Uhh.."
The second Kris fell to his knees, his hand dropping the knife and moving to his groin, the two Korean friends hit the road. They managed to barely escape the hands of Kris' henchmen and found refuge in an employee bathroom. The Chinese boys pounded and kicked the door, but to no avail. ("Bring in the muscle!" One of them shouted, and they both fled from the bathroom for awhile.) Kyungsoo slammed his back against the wall and slowly started dropping himself to the tile floor. Joonmyun propped a hand on the wall, trying to regain breath.
"I can't-believe-you-just kicked Kris-in the balls."
"I need to sort this out. I swear he told me it was authentic," Kyungsoo whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Chanyeol, pick up..."
Joonmyun nearly choked. "Chanyeol? Chanyeol?! He's been your supplier this whole time?!"
Kyungsoo brought an index finger to his mouth. "Shhh! Oh! Chanyeol! Chanyeol!"
"Put it on speaker!"
"Chanyeol, there's something wrong with the stuff you gave me!"
"Something wrong? No, there can't be anything wrong with it, I grew it myself!"
"Yeah, well, the guy we gave it to just said that it was grass. Like lawn grass."
"Well, yeah."
Kyungsoo and Joonmyun looked at each other. "What do you mean 'yeah'?!"
"You said you needed a bag of grass by this Friday, right? So, I took some from the sod in my basement and gave you two bags!"
"Chanyeol, you dumbass."
When the next morning dawned, a very beat up Kyungsoo and an equally beat up Joonmyun found themselves in front of Chanyeol's manor. Kyungsoo limped up the stairs and placed a brown paper bag on the doormat. He bent down and clicked the lighter while Joonmyun steadied himself on his good foot and hovered a finger over the doorbell. When the bag was decorated in orange flames, he rang the bell and the two of them belted it.
A confused Chanyeol emerged from the front door several seconds later.
"Hello? Wait.. what the-"
A/N: I'm an idiot. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry.
Also, please pardon the frequent use of italics.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
kyungsoo-centric
pg to r; general, au/ar, humor
i. maybe they met through kai
Drunken giggles and smiles vanish between Yixing's soft lips. He takes Kyungsoo's hand and slides it up his shirt. Kyungsoo breaks into a fit of giggles as the older boy embellishes his neck with chaste kisses and wet licks. His back presses uncomfortably against a dusty bookshelf as Yixing starts to grind their hips together in a metronome rhythm.
"(Ha..ha) Stop, what if (ha.. haha) Jongin finds us?" Kyungsoo whispers between kisses, his words slurring from the alcohol.
The Chinese boy chokes out a laugh, its sound seemingly ringing throughout the small closet they're occupying. He replies, equally intoxicated, "He won't."
"Hyung, (ha..ha) you look so damn fine right now.. (hahaha..)" Kyungsoo's fingers trace over the contours of Yixing's collar bones; he lazily presses his lips against them before placing his mouth over Yixing's.
"Hot damn.." are the last coherent words uttered before Yixing lifts up Kyungsoo's shirt and slowly starts unbuckling his pants...
They stagger out of the closet and into the empty hallway with tousled hair and sweaty backs half an hour later. They almost lose each other in the sea of rave-dancing college kids the second they enter the living room. They escape Baekhyun's drunken little glowstick show and meet up with Jongin at the front door of the abode. Yixing hands Kyungsoo over to Jongin, who effortlessly swings Kyungsoo's body up so that he is carrying him bridal style.
"Thanks for taking care of him," Jongin tells Yixing with a genuine smile. He pinches the bridge of Kyungsoo's nose gently and laughs. Yixing only nods, turning back towards the living room.
"You are so drunk, hyung," Jongin says, laughing as he walks towards his car. "Did you have a good time?"
"(Haha..) I had a (..ha) wonderful time (ha..ha..)" Kyungsoo replies.
ii. in my head, d.o. is a hot-headed housewife and suho is the adorable husband
Joonmyun and Kyungsoo were a lovely couple with just one single child-Kim Sehun. Sehun was a prince in their eyes; they believed he was perfect and could do no wrong. If Sehun ever made a mistake, the fault lied with someone else.
When Sehun was six and had recurring nightmares from secretly watching The Grudge, they blamed the babysitter for not supervising their son. When Sehun was twelve and riled up a fistfight, they blamed the other kids' parents for teaching their children improper ways. And when the time came that Sehun was finally eighteen and was caught peeping in the girls' bathroom, they blamed...
"Principal Wu!" Kyungsoo said accusingly with both hands on his hips. "I can't believe you're even considering Sehun-he didn't do anything wrong!"
"Sit down, dear..." Soft-hearted Joonmyun murmured, patting Kyungsoo's arm gently.
"No, I will not!" Kyungsoo's voice raised up by eight decibels and Joonmyun slowly withdrew his hand. Sehun sat with his back slouched comfortably against the back padding of the chair, his gaze drawn downward and his thumbs twiddling in a nervous fashion. The nameplate propped neatly on the wooden desk read Wu Yifan in shiny golden letters. Yifan brought his folded hands up to his chin.
"Mr. Kim-"
"Excuse me, but I'd still rather be called by my bachelor name, thank you very much." Kyungsoo interjected.
Yifan sighed and nodded, "Ahem. Yes, well, Mr. Do... you do understand that, as a male, trespassing into the girls' washroom is prohibited and a violation of our school code, correct?"
"Oh, don't pull that shit on me, Yifan-" Kyungsoo barked, a look of disdain etched deep into the lines of his face.
Joonmyun pressed a hand to his mouth with wide eyes, "D-dear!"
"-I am very familiar with the school's rules," A subtle transition to frustration settled in his voice. "I just don't understand why Sehun has to be subjected to the punishment. I mean, if you just put on some damned locks on the bathrooms, this wouldn't have happened."
One of Yifan's thick eyebrows slowly arched upward. "Pardon?"
"For Pete's sake, man; you have to take precautions!" Kyungsoo began pacing about the room, flailing an arm here and there. "You really think a plastic sign labeled Women's Restroom is going to stop a school of horny teenage boys from barging right in?"
"..Signs are created for a purpose, Mr. D-"
"Wrong!" Kyungsoo slapped a palm hard on the principal's desk. The previously organized array of papers and pens went disoriented. "Only an idiot would think that, an idiot!"
"...An idiot, you say?"
Joonmyun opened up the envelope using a letter opener and, upon seeing its contents, frowned. "Darling," he called out to Kyungsoo, who was preparing a meal in the kitchen. "they sent us Sehun's.. um, expulsion letter."
"Good riddance." The other responded with a jagged edge to their tone, "I never want to see anything from that school again."
Joonmyun only nodded and headed for Sehun's bedroom, but not before picking up a little something from the toolbox under the bathroom sink. He found his son sprawled on his bed, eyes glued to the tiny television in the corner of the room. Joonmyun took a seat on the foot of the bed and let a pause ensue before speaking.
"Son, your mother's got it tough as it is," Joonmyun rolled the magazine in his hand into a tube, "I know it wasn't your fault, but I'd like you to try to stay out of trouble. Okay, champ?"
Sehun's gaze on the tv didn't break. "Yeah. I got it, dad."
Joonmyun took in a deep breath before thrusting the magazine into Sehun's stomach. "This isn't much like the real thing, but just... keep yourself away from the girls' bathroom, will you?"
He silently strode out of the room. It was not until commercial break that Sehun had glanced away from the television screen only to discover that his father had supplied him with one single piece of erotic literature.
iii. i was listening to justin's "good foot" and i couldn't stop thinking about that shady-sneaking scene in shark tale
12:05 am. Empty city streets.
"You got the stuff, right?"
"I'm not an idiot, of course I brought it."
Kyungsoo zipped open his backpack a crack, revealing two sandwich bags packed to the core with slightly grounded cannabis. Joonmyun's eyes glowed with a whimsical euphoria. He took Kyungsoo by the shoulder and laughed. "Holy mother of everything that is glorious and rich! How did you manage to get this much?"
"Shhh!" Kyungsoo slapped Joonmyun's hand away and hastily zipped up his bag, his head scanning left and right for any unwanted audience in the streets. His voice was stricken with paranoia. "My guy grows this stuff straight out of his basement. And he grows a lot it, apparently."
"Apparently? You don't know for sure?" Joonmyun said in a quiet voice. They began to make their way to the EXO hideout. Kyungsoo was frequently looking back over his shoulder, checking every ten seconds or so.
He shook his head and stuck his hands in his pockets. "No, we only talked on the phone. I didn't actually see the product until today.."
"Well, whatever! Doesn't matter right?" The older boy's face lit up, "With this much hash, we're a shoo in for EXO. That'll teach Kris to call me 'uncool'!"
"Hey, Joonmyun!"
"Gah!" Kyungsoo nearly dropped his backpack, which he was carrying in his arms instead of wearing on his shoulders. He hugged the bag tight against his chest and shifted his gaze from Joonmyun to the the stranger. "Who's this?"
"Oh, it's Luhan." Joonmyun chuckled sheepishly, one hand scratching the back of his head. "He's the, uh... son of the chief of the police."
Kyungsoo's eyes seemed to grow to the size of the moon. He stared hard at his friend, mouthing furiously, the chief's son?!
"Hey, is your friend alright? He looks scared or something..." Luhan said with a slight frown. He squinted his eyes at Kyungsoo and stepped a foot closer. "You're not... hiding anything, are you?"
"Uhh.."
"No! Don't mind Kyungsoo, he always looks like this!" Joonmyun responded cheerily. He slung an arm around the other boy's shoulder. "He's super rich in eye whites!"
"...Right." Luhan replied bluntly. He was beginning to feel an oncoming awkward tension to this conversation... "Well, I'm off to work! If you guys come to Pochi's at 2 am, you get a bubble tea on the house!"
Kyungsoo slapped Joonmyun's chest with the back of his hand once Luhan was out of earshot. Joonmyun winced, "Ow~"
"The chief's son! Unbelievable! And you wanted to go through with this!"
Now underground in a subway station, the boys searched for a band of misfits loitering around. They found the tall leader, Yifan-though everyone just called him Kris-near the stairs at the opposite end of the station. He was drinking something out of a paper bag and passing it around with two of his fellow gang members. One of them-a sort of gangly looking black-haired kid-spotted Joonmyun and laughed, "Duizhang, look, it's your number one fanboy!"
Joonmyun's face reddened. "I am not his fanboy! And for your information, we've got the stuff, okay?"
Kris exchanged looks with his posse before walking over to the Korean duo. Joonmyun glanced nervously at Kyungsoo, and the other shakily handed over his backpack. The same gangly kid snatched it without question, his hands tearing furiously at the zipper.
"Tao." The gang leader barked, "Careful, you might ruin the product."
Tao scoffed but proceeded with extracting the weed a little more delicately. Small hoots and whistles of praise sounded as Tao brought up two hefty bags of marijuana. The last gang member pulled back his lips into a grin, a single dimple embedded itself onto his right cheek.
"Not bad, huh, duizhang?" The dimpled member said cheekily.
"Yeah. Not bad, huh, duizhang?" Joonmyun repeated, his arms crossed smugly over his chest. He winked to his partner, Kyungsoo. If things went according to plan, Kris would be showering the two of them with compliments any second now. Again, if things went according to plan.
And they never do.
Kris remained firm, his brow furrowed into an expression of great displeasure. He took a bag from Tao, weighing it in his hand and opening it up to smell its contents. He narrowed his eyes and snarled, "You think you can get away with this shit?"
The tall Chinese man didn't flinch even as the plastic hit the floor and cannabis spilled all over the concrete. He pulled out a pocketknife. "You think I'm stupid? I have eyes, I can tell grass from pot and that shit on the ground is definitely not pot."
"What the-" Joonmyun's eyes instinctively fleeted to Kyungsoo. "I thought you told me it was legit stuff-I thought you said your guy grew it straight out of his basement!"
"It is-he does!" Kyungsoo replied, offended that Joonmyun would even think he would lie to him. They both whipped their heads toward the approaching Kris. Boy if looks could kill. "Uhh.."
The second Kris fell to his knees, his hand dropping the knife and moving to his groin, the two Korean friends hit the road. They managed to barely escape the hands of Kris' henchmen and found refuge in an employee bathroom. The Chinese boys pounded and kicked the door, but to no avail. ("Bring in the muscle!" One of them shouted, and they both fled from the bathroom for awhile.) Kyungsoo slammed his back against the wall and slowly started dropping himself to the tile floor. Joonmyun propped a hand on the wall, trying to regain breath.
"I can't-believe-you-just kicked Kris-in the balls."
"I need to sort this out. I swear he told me it was authentic," Kyungsoo whipped out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Chanyeol, pick up..."
Joonmyun nearly choked. "Chanyeol? Chanyeol?! He's been your supplier this whole time?!"
Kyungsoo brought an index finger to his mouth. "Shhh! Oh! Chanyeol! Chanyeol!"
"Put it on speaker!"
"Chanyeol, there's something wrong with the stuff you gave me!"
"Something wrong? No, there can't be anything wrong with it, I grew it myself!"
"Yeah, well, the guy we gave it to just said that it was grass. Like lawn grass."
"Well, yeah."
Kyungsoo and Joonmyun looked at each other. "What do you mean 'yeah'?!"
"You said you needed a bag of grass by this Friday, right? So, I took some from the sod in my basement and gave you two bags!"
"Chanyeol, you dumbass."
When the next morning dawned, a very beat up Kyungsoo and an equally beat up Joonmyun found themselves in front of Chanyeol's manor. Kyungsoo limped up the stairs and placed a brown paper bag on the doormat. He bent down and clicked the lighter while Joonmyun steadied himself on his good foot and hovered a finger over the doorbell. When the bag was decorated in orange flames, he rang the bell and the two of them belted it.
A confused Chanyeol emerged from the front door several seconds later.
"Hello? Wait.. what the-"
A/N: I'm an idiot. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry.
Also, please pardon the frequent use of italics.
I don't know what's wrong with me.