I can only imagine how bad you feel right now. I would be completely screwed up in that situation. I don't want to make light of what you or your family have gone through. Far from it. But I have to disagree with you. You simply don't know how many times your Dad sensed you and your Mom in the room with him and without even trying escaped into pleasant memories of one or both of you. Over the past months you've offered him those vacations from his reality frequently and at some sacrifice to your own life. If I'm out of line, please forgive my intruding on what is a very private matter. I just want to share my belief that you did everything you sanely could, and that he appreciates it. My condolences to you and your mother.
Oh I agree. I think we were a comfort to him. I talked to him and sang "Hail to the Redskins" to him and I think it helped comfort him. He just never regained consciousness. He never was able to look at us and see us. He was never able to say anything (he couldn't have anyway since he was on a respirator by that time). He maybe knew we were there, but it was on a subconscious level. In some ways it's probably a blessing because he didn't have to consciously know that he was dying. He didn't have to make those terrible decisions that we made for him or burden himself with any of that.
Sepsis is a horrible, horrible thing. By the time you really know about it, it's usually too late. That's what happened with my dad. I'm sorry it happened to your dad, too. :(
So much of this seems so familiar, yet so distant. I don't know what the point of saying that is except to say that time has a bit of a numbing effect, so hang in there, my friend. Hang in there.
Don't feel like you disappointed him by not getting him out of there. He got out of there in his own way on his own time, and really, that's the best anyone can do for him.
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I would be completely screwed up in that situation.
I don't want to make light of what you or your family have gone through.
Far from it.
But I have to disagree with you.
You simply don't know how many times your Dad sensed you and your Mom in the room with him and without even trying escaped into pleasant memories of one or both of you. Over the past months you've offered him those vacations from his reality frequently and at some sacrifice to your own life.
If I'm out of line, please forgive my intruding on what is a very private matter.
I just want to share my belief that you did everything you sanely could, and that he appreciates it.
My condolences to you and your mother.
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Thats as good a definition of heroic as any.
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So much of this seems so familiar, yet so distant. I don't know what the point of saying that is except to say that time has a bit of a numbing effect, so hang in there, my friend. Hang in there.
Don't feel like you disappointed him by not getting him out of there. He got out of there in his own way on his own time, and really, that's the best anyone can do for him.
I love you.
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