In Every Heart (Fujigaya/Nikaido, NC-17)
Title: In Every Heart
Character/Pairing: Fujigaya/Nikaido
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Fujigaya trusts Nikaido with his heart. Now he just needs to trust himself. This is not a good summary.
Fujigaya falls in love much too easily, and with all the wrong people. He wishes he wouldn’t, but his brain has no say in matters of the heart, and his heart is an unfortunately poor judge of character. He gives his heart and it gets handed right back, broken to pieces - it’s not his heart that they want.
Nikaido is the opposite, he knows - he’s slow to love, takes his time really getting to know someone. But once he grows to love, he loves with his whole heart. He gives 100% to everyone he counts as special.
He loves all of the members; they’re more important to him than anything else in the world. Fujigaya thinks Nikaido could love a girlfriend too, if one were patient enough, but they never are. And they break up with him before he’s given them his heart, and so his heart remains unbroken. He barely seems to notice that they’re gone. Fujigaya’s a bit jealous.
Fujigaya misses his girlfriend. Or at least, he misses the idea of her; it didn’t end well. But he wants to curl up close with someone, to hold their hand, to touch his nose to their temple and kiss their cheek. Yokoo indulges most of that, which is nice.
But Fujigaya also misses getting laid. And while he might have gone for quick one-night stands or easy hookups when he was younger, he’s well past the point where he wants to deal with fangirls and fanboys and people who just want him for his name or his face. It doesn’t leave him a lot of options.
And so he whines. A lot.
Senga’s always been pretty receptive - the others make fun of them for “gossiping like a pair of schoolgirls,” but Fujigaya doesn’t really mind. It’s nice to have someone who understands him.
But this time he wonders if Senga’s not just teasing.
“Why don’t you just ask Nika?” Senga suggests, and Fujigaya turns to stare at him.
“Nika?!”
Senga shrugs. “Yeah, why not?”
“But,” Fujigaya starts. “He doesn’t…”
“What?” Senga asks. “Doesn’t like you?”
Fujigaya doesn’t answer.
“Well, he’s not in love with you, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Senga points out. “But he thinks you’re hot as shit. He tells you and everyone all the time.”
Fujigaya hums uncertainly. “He’s never indicated that he wants to do anything about that, though.”
“Because he knows you,” Senga says.
“What does that mean?” Fujigaya wants to know.
“That you’re a prickly bitch,” Senga answers.
“I am not,” Fujigaya snaps, and then immediately flushes with embarrassment at having proved Senga’s point.
“He knows you,” Senga says again once Fujigaya stops squirming. “He’s not going to get all up in your space unless you get all up in his first.”
Fujigaya thinks about that. “Are you sure?”
“He may not be making any moves, but he’s left the door wide open for you. He’s made it pretty clear that he’d be up for it if you are.”
Fujigaya makes a face at Senga’s terrible pun, but maybe Senga’s not wrong.
-------
Fujigaya flops down next to Nikaido on the couch, practically in his lap, and entirely too close considering the amount of available space.
“Hey Nika,” he says, and throws an arm around his shoulders.
Nikaido looks surprised and slightly wary, but he doesn’t pull away. “Gaya,” he answers in greeting.
“Come home with me?” Fujigaya says, direct about it.
“For what?” Nikaido asks, still on edge like he’s waiting for a surprise camera. Fujigaya decides to just go for it.
“For drinks,” he says, and then places his free hand obviously on Nikaido’s thigh. “And maybe something else?”
Nikaido looks at him, steady, like he’s trying to figure out if Fujigaya is messing with him, but Fujigaya just holds his gaze, and after a moment, Nikaido nods.
“Okay.”
Fujigaya can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. “Okay.”
----
It only takes Nikaido until his second beer to ask again why Fujigaya has invited him over.
Fujigaya is unreasonably nervous, considering that it’s just Nikaido, but then he meets Nikaido’s eyes, and his chest feels tight. There’s no hint of a smile, just that quiet, intense look focused directly on him, and Fujigaya remembers exactly why he feels nervous. Nikaido is gorgeous, just sitting there looking at him, and even the idea that he might just maybe touch Fujigaya exactly the way he wants him to makes Fujigaya feel flushed all the way down.
But he’s not going to get what he wants unless, as Senga had put it, he gets up in Nikaido‘s space first. So he puts down his beer, reaches to take Nikaido‘s and places that safely on the end table, too.
And then he climbs straight onto Nikaido’s lap.
Nikaido’s eyes widen as Fujigaya straddles his thighs, but he doesn’t push him away.
“I thought I’d made it pretty clear why I wanted you over,” Fujigaya says, and he’s pleased when Nikaido’s hands come up to rest on his hips.
“Why now?” Nikaido asks, and it’s a good question, after all these years.
“Honestly?” Fujigaya says, slowly popping his shirt buttons in the most obvious of invitations. “I got lonely.”
“Yokoo…?” Nikaido suggests, but his eyes are following Fujigaya’s fingers as they trail down his chest.
“Well, he’s not going to fuck me, is he?” Fujigaya points out. He enjoys the way Nikaido’s eyes darken at the suggestion, or maybe at Fujigaya’s proximity as he leans in closer, but then he’s too close to see properly and Fujigaya kisses him.
Nikaido kisses him back immediately, fingers tightening on Fujigaya’s hips. He takes the lead quickly, which does everything for Fujigaya’s arousal, pulling a groan from Fujigaya’s throat when he slides hands up his bare sides where his shirt hangs loose.
Nikaido is hot when he’s being serious, but it also makes Fujigaya feel warm all over in an entirely different way with the way he takes care not to hurt him as he stretches him open. He watches Fujigaya’s face closely, scissoring his fingers until Fujigaya is pushing down against him and begging for a third. Nikaido’s long fingers feel so good inside of him, and Fujigaya wants to kick himself for never having gone after him before now.
They’ve known each other for more than half their lives - Nikaido has watched Fujigaya get his heart broken over and over again. But Nikaido has already given Fujigaya his heart, has given him his trust and his respect, and Fujigaya knows that nothing he does in bed tonight is going to change any of that. It lets him relax and be himself, knowing that Nikaido will still love him.
Nikaido’s eyes are so, so dark, and his voice is deeper that Fujigaya’s ever heard it when he tells him to turn over, that familiar huskiness heavy with want despite the way he patiently waits for Fujigaya to position himself comfortably on his hands and knees. He’s already fully hard against Fujigaya’s thigh even though Fujigaya hasn’t touched him.
“You’re so hot,” Nikaido murmurs, and Fujigaya feels hot as Nikaido rubs more lube across his opening. Fujigaya glances back when Nikaido’s hands leave him, and he loves the way Nikaido closes his eyes as he rolls on a condom, the look of pleasure that flashes across his face. But then he’s lining himself up and pushing in, and Fujigaya drops his forehead to the bed and breathes.
Nikaido turns out to be the perfect size, filling Fujigaya completely without making him feel like he’s going to break apart. His hands grip Fujigaya’s waist tightly enough to feel secure, but not enough to feel stifling, and it’s comfortable and oh so good when Nikaido leans down to press a kiss to his shoulder blade.
“Okay?” he asks, and Fujigaya nods.
His first thrusts are slow, the pleasant slide of it making Fujigaya sigh. It’s been so long since he could relax like this with someone, let his guard down and trust that they’ll take care of him. And he knows that Nikaido will.
It’s just starting to get really good, faster, sharp jolts of pleasure shooting up his spine, when suddenly Nikaido pulls out. Fujigaya whines before he can stop himself, but then Nikaido is pulling him up and around.
“Wanna see you,” he says, his voice low and rough, and that does things to Fujigaya, shivers running through him at the sound of it. Despite his self-consciousness, Fujigaya loves nothing more than putting on a show for a captive audience, and Nikaido definitely counts. The appreciation is clear in both his eyes and his voice as Fujigaya sinks down onto him, groaning softly as Nikaido fills him again.
He likes it even better when he starts to move, the position forcing Nikaido even deeper into him, hitting him right where he wants it. That, combined with the way Nikaido gasps with every other bounce, quiet mutters of fuck, fuck, fuck escaping him as Fujigaya rides, brings Fujigaya higher. He looks like he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, but also like he thinks Fujigaya is definitely worth it, and Fujigaya likes that a lot.
“Talk to me,” Fujigaya demands, slowing down to switch to a steady rock. He wants to enjoy this, doesn’t want it to end too soon. He grins down at Nikaido when he blushes, turning even redder than he was.
“Gaya…” he mutters, totally mortified and also entirely into it, judging by the way his grip tightens on Fujigaya’s thighs. Fujigaya stops moving and tilts his head.
“Yeah?” he says.
Nikaido’s fingers flex against his skin, and he swallows. “Don’t stop moving,” he says quietly, and yeah, Fujigaya really does like the way he sounds. He rewards him by resuming his slow shift back and forth on top of him.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Nikaido praises. “Just like that.” Embarrassment chases the arousal across his face, and his voice is perfect, deep and husky, and Fujigaya doesn’t want him to stop. It’s even better when he moves his hands, stroking along Fujigaya’s thighs. “You feel so good,” Nikaido tells him.
Fujigaya encourages him with his body, responding to all of Nikaido’s suggestions until he’s shaking with the effort, sweat dripping, and he has to make some demands of his own. He can’t move fast enough like this, so he rolls to the side, pulling Nikaido with him.
“More,” he insists, with whatever breath he can still manage. He’s so close, burning hot and it’s difficult to get enough air, and his hips are moving to meet Nikaido’s thrusts without any conscious thought. “More, please.”
Nikaido pushes his leg up, bent at the knee for leverage, half on top of Fujigaya now, but it gives him enough stability to pound into Fujigaya fast and hard, just like he wants it, and Fujigaya can already feel himself tensing as Nikaido hits him just right. Fast, faster, and it’s so fucking good and Fujigaya almost wants to see if he can come like this, everything hot and tight and perfect, but he can’t wait, he needs to come now, and he reaches down to get a hand around himself. It takes exactly three seconds to pull himself off, gasping as he arches, waves of pleasure ricocheting through him as Nikaido keeps going, each thrust sending Fujigaya higher and tighter until he stops breathing entirely, spilling himself over his fingers before collapsing with a shaky sob.
Nikaido pulls out immediately and it’s only another few seconds before he fists himself to release across Fujigaya’s thigh with a deep groan that Fujigaya feels in his chest. He flops down next to Fujigaya before he’s even done shaking, arms and legs flung across Fujigaya’s body as he sighs deeply. Fujigaya smiles as his heartbeat slows, sticky and sore and entirely content with the world.
-----
Nikaido is clingy with people he likes, very hands on, and Fujigaya is taking full advantage of that right now. They’ve cleaned up a bit, but Nikaido is still curled up close against him, his forehead resting against Fujigaya’s shoulder as they talk.
“But why me?”
“Because you love me,” Fujigaya says, and hurries to continue when Nikaido tries to interrupt him. “Not like that, I know. It’s fine. But you care about me.”
Nikaido bristles. “Of course I care about you.”
He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it is.
“That’s why it’s fine,” Fujigaya insists. “I just really missed being with someone who actually cares about me as a person.”
Nikaido leans up and looks at him steadily, as if waiting to see if he’ll continue, so Fujigaya does.
“It sounds a bit pathetic, I guess. But I hope you don’t think I’m just using you. I do like you.”
“I know you do,” Nikaido tells him. “And I don’t mind. Just be careful.” He lies back down.
“With what?” Fujigaya says.
“With your heart. I don’t want you to be all broken again.” He follows his words with his hand, smoothing his fingers gently across Fujigaya’s chest.
Fujigaya bites his lip. He knows Nikaido is right. Sometimes Fujigaya’s heart gets the better of him. In moments like this. Or when Nikaido does something casual and cool without even intending to, when he focuses intently when he’s thinking about work stuff… Fujigaya’s heart does a little flip in his chest and he tells it to shut up, because it’s just Nikaido. It’s just Nikaido. And he already loves him, and it’s enough.
“I’ll be okay,” Fujigaya says, reassuring himself more than Nikaido. “It’s okay like this.”
Nikaido nods. “Okay. I trust you.”
And those words mean the world to Fujigaya.
Character/Pairing: Fujigaya/Nikaido
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Summary: Fujigaya trusts Nikaido with his heart. Now he just needs to trust himself. This is not a good summary.
Fujigaya falls in love much too easily, and with all the wrong people. He wishes he wouldn’t, but his brain has no say in matters of the heart, and his heart is an unfortunately poor judge of character. He gives his heart and it gets handed right back, broken to pieces - it’s not his heart that they want.
Nikaido is the opposite, he knows - he’s slow to love, takes his time really getting to know someone. But once he grows to love, he loves with his whole heart. He gives 100% to everyone he counts as special.
He loves all of the members; they’re more important to him than anything else in the world. Fujigaya thinks Nikaido could love a girlfriend too, if one were patient enough, but they never are. And they break up with him before he’s given them his heart, and so his heart remains unbroken. He barely seems to notice that they’re gone. Fujigaya’s a bit jealous.
Fujigaya misses his girlfriend. Or at least, he misses the idea of her; it didn’t end well. But he wants to curl up close with someone, to hold their hand, to touch his nose to their temple and kiss their cheek. Yokoo indulges most of that, which is nice.
But Fujigaya also misses getting laid. And while he might have gone for quick one-night stands or easy hookups when he was younger, he’s well past the point where he wants to deal with fangirls and fanboys and people who just want him for his name or his face. It doesn’t leave him a lot of options.
And so he whines. A lot.
Senga’s always been pretty receptive - the others make fun of them for “gossiping like a pair of schoolgirls,” but Fujigaya doesn’t really mind. It’s nice to have someone who understands him.
But this time he wonders if Senga’s not just teasing.
“Why don’t you just ask Nika?” Senga suggests, and Fujigaya turns to stare at him.
“Nika?!”
Senga shrugs. “Yeah, why not?”
“But,” Fujigaya starts. “He doesn’t…”
“What?” Senga asks. “Doesn’t like you?”
Fujigaya doesn’t answer.
“Well, he’s not in love with you, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Senga points out. “But he thinks you’re hot as shit. He tells you and everyone all the time.”
Fujigaya hums uncertainly. “He’s never indicated that he wants to do anything about that, though.”
“Because he knows you,” Senga says.
“What does that mean?” Fujigaya wants to know.
“That you’re a prickly bitch,” Senga answers.
“I am not,” Fujigaya snaps, and then immediately flushes with embarrassment at having proved Senga’s point.
“He knows you,” Senga says again once Fujigaya stops squirming. “He’s not going to get all up in your space unless you get all up in his first.”
Fujigaya thinks about that. “Are you sure?”
“He may not be making any moves, but he’s left the door wide open for you. He’s made it pretty clear that he’d be up for it if you are.”
Fujigaya makes a face at Senga’s terrible pun, but maybe Senga’s not wrong.
-------
Fujigaya flops down next to Nikaido on the couch, practically in his lap, and entirely too close considering the amount of available space.
“Hey Nika,” he says, and throws an arm around his shoulders.
Nikaido looks surprised and slightly wary, but he doesn’t pull away. “Gaya,” he answers in greeting.
“Come home with me?” Fujigaya says, direct about it.
“For what?” Nikaido asks, still on edge like he’s waiting for a surprise camera. Fujigaya decides to just go for it.
“For drinks,” he says, and then places his free hand obviously on Nikaido’s thigh. “And maybe something else?”
Nikaido looks at him, steady, like he’s trying to figure out if Fujigaya is messing with him, but Fujigaya just holds his gaze, and after a moment, Nikaido nods.
“Okay.”
Fujigaya can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. “Okay.”
----
It only takes Nikaido until his second beer to ask again why Fujigaya has invited him over.
Fujigaya is unreasonably nervous, considering that it’s just Nikaido, but then he meets Nikaido’s eyes, and his chest feels tight. There’s no hint of a smile, just that quiet, intense look focused directly on him, and Fujigaya remembers exactly why he feels nervous. Nikaido is gorgeous, just sitting there looking at him, and even the idea that he might just maybe touch Fujigaya exactly the way he wants him to makes Fujigaya feel flushed all the way down.
But he’s not going to get what he wants unless, as Senga had put it, he gets up in Nikaido‘s space first. So he puts down his beer, reaches to take Nikaido‘s and places that safely on the end table, too.
And then he climbs straight onto Nikaido’s lap.
Nikaido’s eyes widen as Fujigaya straddles his thighs, but he doesn’t push him away.
“I thought I’d made it pretty clear why I wanted you over,” Fujigaya says, and he’s pleased when Nikaido’s hands come up to rest on his hips.
“Why now?” Nikaido asks, and it’s a good question, after all these years.
“Honestly?” Fujigaya says, slowly popping his shirt buttons in the most obvious of invitations. “I got lonely.”
“Yokoo…?” Nikaido suggests, but his eyes are following Fujigaya’s fingers as they trail down his chest.
“Well, he’s not going to fuck me, is he?” Fujigaya points out. He enjoys the way Nikaido’s eyes darken at the suggestion, or maybe at Fujigaya’s proximity as he leans in closer, but then he’s too close to see properly and Fujigaya kisses him.
Nikaido kisses him back immediately, fingers tightening on Fujigaya’s hips. He takes the lead quickly, which does everything for Fujigaya’s arousal, pulling a groan from Fujigaya’s throat when he slides hands up his bare sides where his shirt hangs loose.
Nikaido is hot when he’s being serious, but it also makes Fujigaya feel warm all over in an entirely different way with the way he takes care not to hurt him as he stretches him open. He watches Fujigaya’s face closely, scissoring his fingers until Fujigaya is pushing down against him and begging for a third. Nikaido’s long fingers feel so good inside of him, and Fujigaya wants to kick himself for never having gone after him before now.
They’ve known each other for more than half their lives - Nikaido has watched Fujigaya get his heart broken over and over again. But Nikaido has already given Fujigaya his heart, has given him his trust and his respect, and Fujigaya knows that nothing he does in bed tonight is going to change any of that. It lets him relax and be himself, knowing that Nikaido will still love him.
Nikaido’s eyes are so, so dark, and his voice is deeper that Fujigaya’s ever heard it when he tells him to turn over, that familiar huskiness heavy with want despite the way he patiently waits for Fujigaya to position himself comfortably on his hands and knees. He’s already fully hard against Fujigaya’s thigh even though Fujigaya hasn’t touched him.
“You’re so hot,” Nikaido murmurs, and Fujigaya feels hot as Nikaido rubs more lube across his opening. Fujigaya glances back when Nikaido’s hands leave him, and he loves the way Nikaido closes his eyes as he rolls on a condom, the look of pleasure that flashes across his face. But then he’s lining himself up and pushing in, and Fujigaya drops his forehead to the bed and breathes.
Nikaido turns out to be the perfect size, filling Fujigaya completely without making him feel like he’s going to break apart. His hands grip Fujigaya’s waist tightly enough to feel secure, but not enough to feel stifling, and it’s comfortable and oh so good when Nikaido leans down to press a kiss to his shoulder blade.
“Okay?” he asks, and Fujigaya nods.
His first thrusts are slow, the pleasant slide of it making Fujigaya sigh. It’s been so long since he could relax like this with someone, let his guard down and trust that they’ll take care of him. And he knows that Nikaido will.
It’s just starting to get really good, faster, sharp jolts of pleasure shooting up his spine, when suddenly Nikaido pulls out. Fujigaya whines before he can stop himself, but then Nikaido is pulling him up and around.
“Wanna see you,” he says, his voice low and rough, and that does things to Fujigaya, shivers running through him at the sound of it. Despite his self-consciousness, Fujigaya loves nothing more than putting on a show for a captive audience, and Nikaido definitely counts. The appreciation is clear in both his eyes and his voice as Fujigaya sinks down onto him, groaning softly as Nikaido fills him again.
He likes it even better when he starts to move, the position forcing Nikaido even deeper into him, hitting him right where he wants it. That, combined with the way Nikaido gasps with every other bounce, quiet mutters of fuck, fuck, fuck escaping him as Fujigaya rides, brings Fujigaya higher. He looks like he’s struggling to keep his eyes open, but also like he thinks Fujigaya is definitely worth it, and Fujigaya likes that a lot.
“Talk to me,” Fujigaya demands, slowing down to switch to a steady rock. He wants to enjoy this, doesn’t want it to end too soon. He grins down at Nikaido when he blushes, turning even redder than he was.
“Gaya…” he mutters, totally mortified and also entirely into it, judging by the way his grip tightens on Fujigaya’s thighs. Fujigaya stops moving and tilts his head.
“Yeah?” he says.
Nikaido’s fingers flex against his skin, and he swallows. “Don’t stop moving,” he says quietly, and yeah, Fujigaya really does like the way he sounds. He rewards him by resuming his slow shift back and forth on top of him.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Nikaido praises. “Just like that.” Embarrassment chases the arousal across his face, and his voice is perfect, deep and husky, and Fujigaya doesn’t want him to stop. It’s even better when he moves his hands, stroking along Fujigaya’s thighs. “You feel so good,” Nikaido tells him.
Fujigaya encourages him with his body, responding to all of Nikaido’s suggestions until he’s shaking with the effort, sweat dripping, and he has to make some demands of his own. He can’t move fast enough like this, so he rolls to the side, pulling Nikaido with him.
“More,” he insists, with whatever breath he can still manage. He’s so close, burning hot and it’s difficult to get enough air, and his hips are moving to meet Nikaido’s thrusts without any conscious thought. “More, please.”
Nikaido pushes his leg up, bent at the knee for leverage, half on top of Fujigaya now, but it gives him enough stability to pound into Fujigaya fast and hard, just like he wants it, and Fujigaya can already feel himself tensing as Nikaido hits him just right. Fast, faster, and it’s so fucking good and Fujigaya almost wants to see if he can come like this, everything hot and tight and perfect, but he can’t wait, he needs to come now, and he reaches down to get a hand around himself. It takes exactly three seconds to pull himself off, gasping as he arches, waves of pleasure ricocheting through him as Nikaido keeps going, each thrust sending Fujigaya higher and tighter until he stops breathing entirely, spilling himself over his fingers before collapsing with a shaky sob.
Nikaido pulls out immediately and it’s only another few seconds before he fists himself to release across Fujigaya’s thigh with a deep groan that Fujigaya feels in his chest. He flops down next to Fujigaya before he’s even done shaking, arms and legs flung across Fujigaya’s body as he sighs deeply. Fujigaya smiles as his heartbeat slows, sticky and sore and entirely content with the world.
-----
Nikaido is clingy with people he likes, very hands on, and Fujigaya is taking full advantage of that right now. They’ve cleaned up a bit, but Nikaido is still curled up close against him, his forehead resting against Fujigaya’s shoulder as they talk.
“But why me?”
“Because you love me,” Fujigaya says, and hurries to continue when Nikaido tries to interrupt him. “Not like that, I know. It’s fine. But you care about me.”
Nikaido bristles. “Of course I care about you.”
He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and it is.
“That’s why it’s fine,” Fujigaya insists. “I just really missed being with someone who actually cares about me as a person.”
Nikaido leans up and looks at him steadily, as if waiting to see if he’ll continue, so Fujigaya does.
“It sounds a bit pathetic, I guess. But I hope you don’t think I’m just using you. I do like you.”
“I know you do,” Nikaido tells him. “And I don’t mind. Just be careful.” He lies back down.
“With what?” Fujigaya says.
“With your heart. I don’t want you to be all broken again.” He follows his words with his hand, smoothing his fingers gently across Fujigaya’s chest.
Fujigaya bites his lip. He knows Nikaido is right. Sometimes Fujigaya’s heart gets the better of him. In moments like this. Or when Nikaido does something casual and cool without even intending to, when he focuses intently when he’s thinking about work stuff… Fujigaya’s heart does a little flip in his chest and he tells it to shut up, because it’s just Nikaido. It’s just Nikaido. And he already loves him, and it’s enough.
“I’ll be okay,” Fujigaya says, reassuring himself more than Nikaido. “It’s okay like this.”
Nikaido nods. “Okay. I trust you.”
And those words mean the world to Fujigaya.