Click Click Boom
TITLE: Click Click Boom
PAIRING: KoyaShige
RATING: R
WORD COUNT: 4,732
SUMMARY: One drunken night almost destroys KoyaShige.
WARNINGS: Aaaaaaangst.
It's not a situation that makes sense; something they ever meant to happen.
They're best friends, practically brothers, falling into a deep friendship from nearly the moment they first met in that fateful rehearsal hall. There are no secrets between them. No barriers. That closeness might be a little for the fans, to give them something little to nibble on, but more than that, it's just natural; it's how they are. How any pair of best friends is.
But, they're not especially normal best friends. Because right after being best friends, they're idols, and that fact alone changes the game, changes the meaning of what's happening.
It's spring; Shige still riding the eave of euphoria that was his graduation, and Koyama's desperately trying to save the relationship with his current girlfriend from falling apart. And so, they do what any pair of friends does: they go out, drinking at a familiar bar where the regulars give them no trouble. Koyama pours out his stressed heart and Shige cheers on his efforts, tries to send some of his own happiness across the table to Koyama.
They drink a bit too much. It barely even registers in their mind when they wave to the bartender in that iconic way that says, "another round over here," one too many times.
When they finally stumble out of the izakaya, neither of them is sure of the time. All they knows is that it's dark, somewhat cold and the streets are deserted; just the two of them standing on a street corner, drunkenly discussing their options.
"Where's the station?" Shige mumbles. "We need a taxi."
Koyama hunches over, hands on his knees. "Let's just find a hotel."
Shige frowns. "But-"
"I am going to pass out any second. Seriously, I just need to sleep this off."
And there, the decision is made. A quick drunk check on their phones and then they're off, down the street several blocks.
The hotel is shady, but the pair aren't feeling picky. It's the kind of place that drunk out of their mind people would go to to crash out or a couple of high schoolers when they're skipping school and want to fuck. Regardless, no one who stays there actually cares that it looks like the building is about to fall in on itself.
The second the door is closed, Koyama strips down to his boxers and collapses onto the closest twin bed. Shige stumbles to the bathroom, relieving himself and then attempting to brush his teeth with the complimentary toothbrush, but it goes poorly considering the sad state of his motor functions.
When he comes back out, Koyama's snoring, face in his pillow. Shige turns him over, drunkenly worried about his best friend smothering himself in his sleep. He crawls into the other bed after that, still dressed, but not caring.
Some time later, he doesn't know when, there's a horrible gagging noise that jerks him awake and he sees Koyama's head over the garbage can, his body shaking. Shige's body is on auto-pilot, immediately getting up and rubbing Koyama's back until he finishes and then drags him into the bathroom, propping him against the toilet. Koyama's pale and sweaty and Shige hands him a damp hand towel.
"Delayed reaction?" He asks, and Koyama nods sadly before gagging and throwing up again.
Shige holds back his hair, just in case, and stands awkwardly over Koyama's hunched form. It seems like forever until he leans back, head bumping into Shige's stomach.
"Ugh, I feel 19 again."
"It wasn't that long ago that you were," Shige whispers quietly, one hand still in Koyama's hair, reaching over with the other to fill a plastic cup with water. "Drink this."
Koyama sips at it and Shige sits down on the floor next to him, legs brushing against Koyama's.
"Have you sobered up?" Koyama asks, and Shige shrugs.
"I don't think so, but the adrenaline cleared my head momentarily."
"I feel so drunk. Still," Koyama whines, trying to say it dramatically with arm motions, but it just makes him spill the water all over Shige.
"Sorry! Sorry!"
Shige just laughs and pulls his wet shirt over his head and tosses it towards the little bathtub. "It's okay."
Koyama frowns and leans over, resting his head on Shige's shoulder. "I feel really lonely," he says, and wraps his arms around Shige's waist.
Normally, a hug like this would make Shige feel a little awkward, but they're drunk and he's not worrying about it. He blinks several times, and the next time his vision focuses, it's like some huge amount of time had passed. Koyama's asleep on his shoulder and Shige's back is wedged between the toilet and the sink. Koyama mumbles something in his sleep, scooting closer to Shige.
"Shit," Shige mutters, cracking his neck. "Wake up."
It takes a couple of strong shakes before Koyama's awake, blinking like he's still drunk out of his mind. "Wha?"
"Bed," Shige says, and then Koyama seems to realize they're asleep in the bathroom.
Koyama keeps a hand on the wall the entire way to the bedroom, and then follows along the foot of Shige's bed, and finally, sits at the edge of his own. Shige doesn't hold onto the wall, but his head feels funny and his tongue thick. He flops down and is just nearly asleep when the mattress of his bed shifts and there's a big warm something next to him.
"Wha' are you doin'?" Shige mumbles into the pillow and Koyama fidgets and pokes Shige in the calf with his foot.
"I'm lonely."
Shige grumbles something else into the pillow. He's really just too drunk and tired to care about Koyama wanting to sleep in the same bed.
But two grown men don't fit well in a twin bed, and they can't help but borderline cuddle. Shige's just about to nod off again when he feels an arm wrap around his waist and a nose press into his hair.
Shige doesn't immediately freak out; Koyama cuddles things that happen to be near him as he's sleeping and it's not like they've never been this close in photoshoots. When that hand tightens though, Shige wiggles.
"At least put your fucking shirt back on. This is kind of gross."
"I'm lonely," Koyama whines again, picking himself up enough to lean over Shige.
And then kisses him half on the cheek, half on his lips.
In a quick flash, Shige's got his arms between himself and Koyama, adrenaline kicking back in, but Koyama's got a strong grip. He doesn't know what to say though. And Koyama says nothing, just continuing to look at Shige with sad eyes.
"Has she been holding out on you?" Shige finally whispers, so quiet both can barely hear it.
Koyama nods and hugs Shige tight against his chest.
"K-Koyama, I-"
"Please, just don't make me lie there alone."
When he says that, it's so sad, and in Shige's still significantly-more-than-tipsy mind, he can't think of doing anything but helping his best friend.
"What should I do?"
Koyama doesn't answer verbally; just kisses Shige again.
It's a little weird and gross, feeling Koyama's lips against his and the short hairs on his chin rubbing against his skin. But he doesn't reel away, just lets Koyama hold him and kiss him. He'd still like for Koyama to put his shirt back on, though.
The progression of the kiss catches Shige off guard, gasping when Koyama changes the angle and pries Shige's mouth open, sliding his tongue across Shige's teeth. Koyama doesn't seem to notice that surprise though, just moves closer, nearly half on top of Shige and as the minutes tick by and Shige starts feeling light-headed again and almost comfortable.
He thinks it's just going to be this. Some awkward drunken making out before they both pass out. It's not like they hadn't jokingly, drunkenly kissed each other before. But those kisses were like the kind you gave your mother. This is the kind of kissing that proceeds fucking, and if Shige was a little more sober, he might be worried.
It's completely within the moment and atmosphere when Koyama straddles Shige's thigh and lays a heavy hand on Shige's crotch.
The kissing doesn't pause or slow in the least, like their both utterly beside themselves.
Koyama's hand is soft on his jeans, moving slowly and methodically and Shige doesn't even realize when he starts moving along with Koyama's hand. He doesn't realize either as his belt clinks open and the button fly pops open. Or when Koyama's hand lands heavy and determined on his cock. Or when Koyama's hips begin an independent movement of this own, rubbing against Shige's leg.
The only moment that seems to bring them back is when Koyama moves, pulling away from the kiss, but his hand still rubbing in Shige's boxers.
They're both flushed, eyeing each other carefully, trying to figure out where this is going.
Koyama moves himself, sitting on his knees between Shige's legs, who looks down at that, almost a little put off, but doesn't say anything about that or Koyama's hand in his pants.
"I wanna get off," he says, slurred and rubs his thumb against Shige's dick as he says it, making the other bite his lip.
"You gotta be kidding me," Shige finally groans, and yet does nothing to stop Koyama from tugging his jeans down his thighs.
As Koyama scoots closer between his legs, holding onto Shige with one hand, and the other resting on the elastic band of his own boxers.
"Shige..."
"Wh-what?"
"Can I? It is okay?" He asks, letting go of the other's dick and scratching a hand across his stomach.
"I don't know what you're thinking! I can't read your mind!" He snaps, and it makes Koyama frown.
"Then... I'll just go ahead and do it."
Shige flails, trying to motion to Koyama to stop, but he's too slow, or Koyama's too drunk to react in time. He grinds down against Shige, the cloth of his boxers the only barrier; he groans, and Shige makes a similar noise, but there's a hint of anxiety in his tone.
That only happens once though, because right after, Koyama pulls down the elastic of his boxer, fisting his own cock for a quick few seconds before leaning forwards and grabbing both their dicks together.
Koyama looks almost happy, like he's been missing this sexual tension and the smell of sweat more than anything else. Squeezing them together and reveling in that feeling and leaning back down, sucking at Shige's bottom lip.
Shige's hands are fisted in the pillow under his head, mouth nearly slack against Koyama's which is furious, hips twitching in the other's hands. If he were thinking clearly, he'd be horrified. But he's not thinking clearly, because there's still alcohol flowing with his blood and Koyama's hand is doing all the right things to make a man into an idiot.
Koyama comes first, breaking the kiss and groaning into Shige's cheek. For Shige, the feeling is almost repulsive, the warm, wet feeling of Koyama's semen against his skin. He starts trembling and can't stop, but Koyama never stopped, hand still tugging, the action smoother now, and it's such a change, that Shige comes too, following shortly after Koyama.
In the morning, Shige wakes up to Koyama screaming.
He bolts up in bed, surprised and disoriented, rubbing his eyes then glancing at Koyama, who's sitting on the floor, eyes bloodshot, face pale and swearing up a storm.
He grabs a pillow from the other bed, covering himself with it. "What the fuck?!" He shrieks and Shige winces from his tone.
That's when he realizes they're both naked, and memories from the night before come rushing back to him. Shige starts intently at the bedspread, horrified and praying this is a nightmare and he's going to wake up at home and alone any second. But he doesn't. Just keeps staring and listening to the frenzy that is Koyama dressing as quickly as possible and his mind turns.
"This didn't happen!" He yells. "Nothing happened!"
Koyama reaches into his pocket and throws a few thousand yen onto the other bed and dashes out the door, slamming it behind him.
Shige's still in shock, sitting in bed, feeling his world world crumbling.
They don't talk for days, maybe a few weeks; neither are sure. They don't try to think about how long it's been, because that only makes them remember what happened. Koyama spends a lot of time with this college and high school friends, and Yamapi as well. They all pick up on the notable lack of Shige in Koyama's discourse. Shige for his part, latches onto Massu, spends a lot of time idly following him around shops and going out to dinner.
The situation is awkward and horrifying and they each do everything possible to not think about it. But it still lingers there in the back of their minds like a plague and a curse rolled up into one gut-wrenching thing.
Such a standard of avoidance can only last for so long between two people that work together before they're forced to meet up somewhere for something. As Koyama steps out of his manager's car, he's swearing up a storm in his head, feeling a little nauseous. When he enters the green room, it's just Massu, Tegoshi and Yamapi; Ryo and Shige had apparently already meandered off to get their make-up taken care of. He's thankful for that at the least, but Yamapi is eyeing him oddly, like he's curious about Koyama's obvious tension.
The photographer's assistant comes into the green room and gives a few details of the shoot, leaving a stack of papers with the same information in the hands of Yamapi.
"Ah, the cliche pairs," he says, flipping through the pages.
"Cliche?" Tegoshi asks.
"Me and Ryo. You and Massu. Koyama and Shige."
The moment when Tegoshi and Massu nod in calm understanding, Koyama drops a plastic bottle of tea, spilling it all over the floor. He swears furiously and grabs a large handful of tissues, sopping up the tea. A moment later, Yamapi is kneeling next to him with more tissues.
"Are you okay?"
Koyama ignores him, pulls more tissues out of the box on the table.
"You're really jumpy lately.... If you need to talk-"
"I'm fine," Koyama says through his teeth.
Once the tea is cleaned, he slumps onto the couch, next to Tegoshi, who drags him down the hall shortly after to have their make-up done.
As they turn down the hall, they just barely catch Shige going around a corner towards the set with Ryo and a manager.
Koyama can feel his heart pounding in his chest and he breaks out in a cold sweat. The make-up artist grumbles, patting at Koyama's forehead with a make-up pad dipped in baby powder. She kicks him out a minute later once Tegoshi's make-up is down; they need to make room for Yamapi and Massu.
Tegoshi nearly pushes him into the big room where the set is, mumbling about how weird Kei-chan is acting. The photographer is already obviously giving Shige some instructions. A manager waves Koyama over, saying that since their pairing is the only one finished with make-up and such, they'll be going first.
Koyama and Shige stare at their feet, the lights overhead, the snack table in the corner; anywhere but near each other. They're directed towards the set, told to be friendly. The manager smiles, saying that won't be heard for such old and close friends as KoyaShige.
As they step on, there's a foot of space between them, and Ryo looks at them oddly from behind the photographer.
"Stand closer!" Says their manager. "Koyama-kun, put your arm over Katou-kun's shoulders!"
Shige pales and Koyama breaks out in a sweat again.
The shoot is like pulling teeth and even a blind man would be able to see that they don't want to be anywhere near each other. By the end, the other four members are all gathered behind the photographer with expressions of shock, watching the figurative car crash play out in front of them. It's going nowhere, though, and finally, the photographer pulls away from the camera and tripod.
"One of you, please, just get off the set."
Koyama's flies off, obviously making for the bathroom. Massu, without even being asked, steps in his place, and Shige visibly relaxes. The photographing continues, and after a few rolls, Ryo and Yamapi fill their space while Shige goes off somewhere to hide, pointedly asking every one to leave him alone.
Tegoshi and Koyama are the last to get their photos taken, and by the time they finish, all the other members have left the studio. They're gathering up their things in the green room, Tegoshi can't help but ask.
"... Did you and Shige have a fight?"
Koyama tenses, but doesn't answer.
"Kei-chan?"
"Drop it! Jeez!" Koyama snatches his bag from the couch and stops out.
Days later, Pi invites Shige out for dinner, saying it had been to long since they'd properly talked. Shige agrees and doesn't recognize Pi's hidden intent.
Once the meal is done and the plates are cleared and a few beers are sitting in each of their stomachs happily, Pi brings it up.
"I'm sure you won't want to talk about it, but... what happened? Between you and Koyama."
Shige's jaw drops and his face pales. "Um, why-"
"I know something happened. Don't lie. It's obvious."
Shige averts his eyes, but doesn't say anything.
"I've seen you guys fight before, and it's never anything bad. A few hours and you're back to being KoyaShige. But this... Shige, the photographer had to ask one of you to leave the set in order to salvage the shoot!"
The silence hangs over them; Pi determined to get an answer, and Shige looking like he just wants to die, but his reply comes, although vague.
"I don't think," he begins, barely above a whisper, "we're going to be able to be friends any more."
It's Pi's turn for his jaw to drop and he waves his hand, encouraging Shige for details.
"I- We.... were out the one day and-" Shige's pitch is a little awkwardly high pitched, like it's strained. "D-drank some and...."
Shige doesn't say anything after that, completely clams up and has a look on his face like his world has completely fallen apart, that he's got nothing left. Pi almost feels bad for that, that he's responsible for bringing up such a blatantly unhappy and despair-filled memory.
"Just.... you guys'll figure it out. I know it. But, the longer you let it hang, the harder it'll be to fix. Please just try and talk to him."
Shige doesn't nod, but Pi hadn't been expecting anything like that. He drives Shige home and they're both utterly quiet the whole way.
Shige knows that Pi is right - letting this fester will only make it worse. But that doesn't make it any easier.
He puts it off for a week, focusing on other things and keeping busy. But when he gets a text message from Pi, the message itself being nothing but a picture of a clock, he knows what NEWS's leader is still waiting for.
After a week, he gets around to it; sitting on his bed, nervous, fingers sweaty, typing out eight different messages, all different yet completely the same before settling on one.
It takes him nearly an hour to build up the nerve to send it to Koyama. He doesn't expect a reply. And he doesn't get one.
It's minutes before the recording for The Shounen Club and Nakamaru can feel the tension coming off Koyama in waves. He's smiling, chatting with some juniors, but in his eyes, the slight lack of tone in his voice - Nakamaru recognizes it and guesses at what it is, just as the junior wanders off.
"Are you still on the rocks with your girlfriend?"
Koyama's shoulders tense up and his jaw locks. Nakamaru nods, like he knows and understands.
"Girls always say they're okay with keeping a relationship quiet, but... there's always a point where they go back on that."
"Heh, tell me about it," Koyama laughs, without a hint of amusement. "Hasn't ever been this bad. Couldn't be worse."
Nakamaru blinks, thinking Koyama is taking this worse than any one else he's ever seen.
The lights go down, and just before they dim beyond Nakamaru's ability to see, Koyama plasters the fakest smile of his life on his face.
The producers, Ohtake and Kitayama, look between themselves and then back to Koyama, who's pale and is trying to politely decline their request. It's odd to them, since he's always loved this kind of news before.
"But, Koyama-kun," Ohtake says, "When you have Katou-kun as a co-host, the ratings for K-chan NEWS are always phenomenal...."
"Ah, yes, I'm sure, but... Shige's been... really busy lately. Er-"
"But your manager said Katou-kun's schedule was more than free."
"What about Tegoshi-kun? He'd be good as a co-host too, wouldn't he?"
The producers cant their heads and seem to consider it before Kitayama speaks up; "But the fans love that classic KoyaShige interaction."
The non-discussion continues for another 30 minutes, until Koyama loses, and Shige is set as his co-host for the recording in five days.
It really goes without saying that the recording is a disaster. Absolutely horrible, nothing but awkward non-conversation for 30 minutes. Ohtake and Kitayama gawk at them, tell them to get on with it once Bambina starts playing. They can't.
They won't even look at each other; Koyama directly at the hosting notes he's got in his hands, Shige between the mic and his own hands. They verbally dance around, talking more about the other members than their more familiar topics, like outings, or memories from when they were juniors.
It's like a car accident, only maybe a little worse. Only maybe a lot worse.
The whole way out the recording studio, down the elevator, to the car and to their individual homes, the manager bitches about it, complaining in sharp, angry tones. He calls them unprofessional, among other less generous things. Shige and Koyama sit as far apart from each other as they can in the van, staring out the windows, pointedly not commenting on the manager's rants. The manager thinks they're feeling guilty and that's why they are quiet. It's probably better that he doesn't know better.
Once he's safely back within the walls of his own home, a note from his mom on the kitchen table, Koyama finally starts to feel calm again. He eats some leftovers and sends a mail to Pi.
Drinks?, is all it says, but Pi knows when one word can carry a heavier meaning, and he takes Koyama up on the offer.
Koyama avoids the topic of the recording, and Pi doesn't bring it up. It's not until nearly the end of the night when they're about to split ways that Yamapi does anything to make Koyama uncomfortable.
"Listen," he says, as they stand under an awning outside the pub. "Whatever happened with you and Shige-"
"Nothing happened," Koyama spits out.
"I'm not stupid, Koyama. Just talk with him. Or else, it'll keep being weird."
"Mind your own business, will you?"
"I know it's not something easy to deal with-"
"What would you know? And what do you know about this?"
Hearing such a cruel, mean tone from Koyama is odd, and Yamapi feels a little bit like he's living in a world of body-snatchers. But, he also knows Koyama well enough to know when he's terrified and lashing out in an attempt to protect himself.
"I've been in this business longer than you, Koyama. Whatever demons you're facing, I've probably been there, one time or another. So, trust me on this; work it out."
Koyama drops his keys on the ground, fumbling to pick them back up. Yamapi's words are like a stab in the chest, and he doesn't even really pay attention when Pi walks off, to his own car.
Koyama lies awake in his bed for a long while when he gets home. In the dark. Still completely dressed.
Talking about what happened means acknowledging that something happened and that there is a definite rift. That KoyaShige isn't quite so KoyaShige anymore. Or, maybe, that they're too KoyaShige.
His phone buzzes in his pocket; it's just his brother-in-law asking about his mother's birthday.
In the corner of the screen, the new message envelope is still flashing, and he knows why. Sitting, intimidating and loud, in his inbox is a message from Shige. One that's been there for a while, because he hasn't been able to bring himself to look at it. His fingers hover over the buttons, and he feels next to himself as he opens it, Yamapi's words still ringing in his head.
Can we talk? I really need my best friend back...
At least the new message envelope is gone.
It's still another few days until Koyama can get himself to call Shige; it goes to voicemail. His message consists of only two words: "Call me."
Shige's a bit quicker on the return call, getting back to him in only a couple hours.
"Hi," he says, and seems to lack anything more.
"... Yo."
"... How've you been?"
"Meh," Koyama mutters, rubbing his eyes.
Shige seems exhausted. "Can we just-.... Is-..."
"I'm sorry, Shige."
"Huh?"
"That I was too drunk to know what I was doing. That I ran out and left you alone, when you were just as freaked out as I was."
"Koyama-"
"I just didn't know what to do."
Once it's off his chest, Koyama starts feeling a little better. The situation still isn't perfect, but it's progressing, now that he's able to at least speak with Shige.
"Yeah, me too," Shige answers after a minute. "Considering though, that's all probably the normal reaction - to run and avoid the issue."
For the first time, in a long time, Koyama finds himself laughing, knowing full well that it's Shige on the other side of the phone line.
"You always think so logically," Koyama whines, and Shige clicks his tongue in fake annoyance.
It's not even weird that their conversation completely moves onto other things - a TV special on Cuba that was on the other night, Massu's current obsession with canvas bags, the creepy tone that Tegoshi uses while talking about his dog. It's refreshing and relaxing, that while their relationship isn't where it had been previously, there are signs that they can get it there again. In the background of their talk, a buzzer sounds on Shige's side.
"Ah, that's my dinner."
"Go eat," Koyama says. "I'll see you on thursday for work."
"Yeah," Shige replies, and just before Koyama is about to hang up, he starts talking again. "I wasn't lying, you know."
"Huh? About what?"
"That I needed my best friend back."
Koyama flushes a little, and stumbles over his words. "Oh- Um. Ah....."
"I don't mean it as any pressure," Shige continues. "I just want you to know. That I wasn't lying when I said that."
And Shige hangs up, making Koyama's only phone partner a beeping line.
Thursday is a Myojo photoshop. Just Koyama, Shige and Massu, though - Tegoshi is filming, Ryo is with Kanjani8 doing something and Yamapi is just randomly MIA. Thankfully, it's an amusing shoot, and not one going for sexiness, so the three of them sit around, chit-chatting and eating takoyaki, kabocha korokke and gyoza (Massu smiled especially widely when they were brought out). It doesn't feel weird at all; it just feels like the three of them.
It doesn't feel weird when Massu feeds him a takoyaki, and it doesn't feel weird when Shige almost falls backwards out of his chair and grabs onto Koyama's jacket for a balance check, but probably most relieving, is that when Shige leans across the table, a little bit into Koyama's personal space, to taunt Massu with the last gyoza, it doesn't feel weird. He gets that same old Oh, Shige-sort of platonic feeling, and the photographer doesn't miss the chance to catch the moment of Shige finally being the teaser (and not the teased), with Koyama smiling brightly in the background.
PAIRING: KoyaShige
RATING: R
WORD COUNT: 4,732
SUMMARY: One drunken night almost destroys KoyaShige.
WARNINGS: Aaaaaaangst.
It's not a situation that makes sense; something they ever meant to happen.
They're best friends, practically brothers, falling into a deep friendship from nearly the moment they first met in that fateful rehearsal hall. There are no secrets between them. No barriers. That closeness might be a little for the fans, to give them something little to nibble on, but more than that, it's just natural; it's how they are. How any pair of best friends is.
But, they're not especially normal best friends. Because right after being best friends, they're idols, and that fact alone changes the game, changes the meaning of what's happening.
It's spring; Shige still riding the eave of euphoria that was his graduation, and Koyama's desperately trying to save the relationship with his current girlfriend from falling apart. And so, they do what any pair of friends does: they go out, drinking at a familiar bar where the regulars give them no trouble. Koyama pours out his stressed heart and Shige cheers on his efforts, tries to send some of his own happiness across the table to Koyama.
They drink a bit too much. It barely even registers in their mind when they wave to the bartender in that iconic way that says, "another round over here," one too many times.
When they finally stumble out of the izakaya, neither of them is sure of the time. All they knows is that it's dark, somewhat cold and the streets are deserted; just the two of them standing on a street corner, drunkenly discussing their options.
"Where's the station?" Shige mumbles. "We need a taxi."
Koyama hunches over, hands on his knees. "Let's just find a hotel."
Shige frowns. "But-"
"I am going to pass out any second. Seriously, I just need to sleep this off."
And there, the decision is made. A quick drunk check on their phones and then they're off, down the street several blocks.
The hotel is shady, but the pair aren't feeling picky. It's the kind of place that drunk out of their mind people would go to to crash out or a couple of high schoolers when they're skipping school and want to fuck. Regardless, no one who stays there actually cares that it looks like the building is about to fall in on itself.
The second the door is closed, Koyama strips down to his boxers and collapses onto the closest twin bed. Shige stumbles to the bathroom, relieving himself and then attempting to brush his teeth with the complimentary toothbrush, but it goes poorly considering the sad state of his motor functions.
When he comes back out, Koyama's snoring, face in his pillow. Shige turns him over, drunkenly worried about his best friend smothering himself in his sleep. He crawls into the other bed after that, still dressed, but not caring.
Some time later, he doesn't know when, there's a horrible gagging noise that jerks him awake and he sees Koyama's head over the garbage can, his body shaking. Shige's body is on auto-pilot, immediately getting up and rubbing Koyama's back until he finishes and then drags him into the bathroom, propping him against the toilet. Koyama's pale and sweaty and Shige hands him a damp hand towel.
"Delayed reaction?" He asks, and Koyama nods sadly before gagging and throwing up again.
Shige holds back his hair, just in case, and stands awkwardly over Koyama's hunched form. It seems like forever until he leans back, head bumping into Shige's stomach.
"Ugh, I feel 19 again."
"It wasn't that long ago that you were," Shige whispers quietly, one hand still in Koyama's hair, reaching over with the other to fill a plastic cup with water. "Drink this."
Koyama sips at it and Shige sits down on the floor next to him, legs brushing against Koyama's.
"Have you sobered up?" Koyama asks, and Shige shrugs.
"I don't think so, but the adrenaline cleared my head momentarily."
"I feel so drunk. Still," Koyama whines, trying to say it dramatically with arm motions, but it just makes him spill the water all over Shige.
"Sorry! Sorry!"
Shige just laughs and pulls his wet shirt over his head and tosses it towards the little bathtub. "It's okay."
Koyama frowns and leans over, resting his head on Shige's shoulder. "I feel really lonely," he says, and wraps his arms around Shige's waist.
Normally, a hug like this would make Shige feel a little awkward, but they're drunk and he's not worrying about it. He blinks several times, and the next time his vision focuses, it's like some huge amount of time had passed. Koyama's asleep on his shoulder and Shige's back is wedged between the toilet and the sink. Koyama mumbles something in his sleep, scooting closer to Shige.
"Shit," Shige mutters, cracking his neck. "Wake up."
It takes a couple of strong shakes before Koyama's awake, blinking like he's still drunk out of his mind. "Wha?"
"Bed," Shige says, and then Koyama seems to realize they're asleep in the bathroom.
Koyama keeps a hand on the wall the entire way to the bedroom, and then follows along the foot of Shige's bed, and finally, sits at the edge of his own. Shige doesn't hold onto the wall, but his head feels funny and his tongue thick. He flops down and is just nearly asleep when the mattress of his bed shifts and there's a big warm something next to him.
"Wha' are you doin'?" Shige mumbles into the pillow and Koyama fidgets and pokes Shige in the calf with his foot.
"I'm lonely."
Shige grumbles something else into the pillow. He's really just too drunk and tired to care about Koyama wanting to sleep in the same bed.
But two grown men don't fit well in a twin bed, and they can't help but borderline cuddle. Shige's just about to nod off again when he feels an arm wrap around his waist and a nose press into his hair.
Shige doesn't immediately freak out; Koyama cuddles things that happen to be near him as he's sleeping and it's not like they've never been this close in photoshoots. When that hand tightens though, Shige wiggles.
"At least put your fucking shirt back on. This is kind of gross."
"I'm lonely," Koyama whines again, picking himself up enough to lean over Shige.
And then kisses him half on the cheek, half on his lips.
In a quick flash, Shige's got his arms between himself and Koyama, adrenaline kicking back in, but Koyama's got a strong grip. He doesn't know what to say though. And Koyama says nothing, just continuing to look at Shige with sad eyes.
"Has she been holding out on you?" Shige finally whispers, so quiet both can barely hear it.
Koyama nods and hugs Shige tight against his chest.
"K-Koyama, I-"
"Please, just don't make me lie there alone."
When he says that, it's so sad, and in Shige's still significantly-more-than-tipsy mind, he can't think of doing anything but helping his best friend.
"What should I do?"
Koyama doesn't answer verbally; just kisses Shige again.
It's a little weird and gross, feeling Koyama's lips against his and the short hairs on his chin rubbing against his skin. But he doesn't reel away, just lets Koyama hold him and kiss him. He'd still like for Koyama to put his shirt back on, though.
The progression of the kiss catches Shige off guard, gasping when Koyama changes the angle and pries Shige's mouth open, sliding his tongue across Shige's teeth. Koyama doesn't seem to notice that surprise though, just moves closer, nearly half on top of Shige and as the minutes tick by and Shige starts feeling light-headed again and almost comfortable.
He thinks it's just going to be this. Some awkward drunken making out before they both pass out. It's not like they hadn't jokingly, drunkenly kissed each other before. But those kisses were like the kind you gave your mother. This is the kind of kissing that proceeds fucking, and if Shige was a little more sober, he might be worried.
It's completely within the moment and atmosphere when Koyama straddles Shige's thigh and lays a heavy hand on Shige's crotch.
The kissing doesn't pause or slow in the least, like their both utterly beside themselves.
Koyama's hand is soft on his jeans, moving slowly and methodically and Shige doesn't even realize when he starts moving along with Koyama's hand. He doesn't realize either as his belt clinks open and the button fly pops open. Or when Koyama's hand lands heavy and determined on his cock. Or when Koyama's hips begin an independent movement of this own, rubbing against Shige's leg.
The only moment that seems to bring them back is when Koyama moves, pulling away from the kiss, but his hand still rubbing in Shige's boxers.
They're both flushed, eyeing each other carefully, trying to figure out where this is going.
Koyama moves himself, sitting on his knees between Shige's legs, who looks down at that, almost a little put off, but doesn't say anything about that or Koyama's hand in his pants.
"I wanna get off," he says, slurred and rubs his thumb against Shige's dick as he says it, making the other bite his lip.
"You gotta be kidding me," Shige finally groans, and yet does nothing to stop Koyama from tugging his jeans down his thighs.
As Koyama scoots closer between his legs, holding onto Shige with one hand, and the other resting on the elastic band of his own boxers.
"Shige..."
"Wh-what?"
"Can I? It is okay?" He asks, letting go of the other's dick and scratching a hand across his stomach.
"I don't know what you're thinking! I can't read your mind!" He snaps, and it makes Koyama frown.
"Then... I'll just go ahead and do it."
Shige flails, trying to motion to Koyama to stop, but he's too slow, or Koyama's too drunk to react in time. He grinds down against Shige, the cloth of his boxers the only barrier; he groans, and Shige makes a similar noise, but there's a hint of anxiety in his tone.
That only happens once though, because right after, Koyama pulls down the elastic of his boxer, fisting his own cock for a quick few seconds before leaning forwards and grabbing both their dicks together.
Koyama looks almost happy, like he's been missing this sexual tension and the smell of sweat more than anything else. Squeezing them together and reveling in that feeling and leaning back down, sucking at Shige's bottom lip.
Shige's hands are fisted in the pillow under his head, mouth nearly slack against Koyama's which is furious, hips twitching in the other's hands. If he were thinking clearly, he'd be horrified. But he's not thinking clearly, because there's still alcohol flowing with his blood and Koyama's hand is doing all the right things to make a man into an idiot.
Koyama comes first, breaking the kiss and groaning into Shige's cheek. For Shige, the feeling is almost repulsive, the warm, wet feeling of Koyama's semen against his skin. He starts trembling and can't stop, but Koyama never stopped, hand still tugging, the action smoother now, and it's such a change, that Shige comes too, following shortly after Koyama.
In the morning, Shige wakes up to Koyama screaming.
He bolts up in bed, surprised and disoriented, rubbing his eyes then glancing at Koyama, who's sitting on the floor, eyes bloodshot, face pale and swearing up a storm.
He grabs a pillow from the other bed, covering himself with it. "What the fuck?!" He shrieks and Shige winces from his tone.
That's when he realizes they're both naked, and memories from the night before come rushing back to him. Shige starts intently at the bedspread, horrified and praying this is a nightmare and he's going to wake up at home and alone any second. But he doesn't. Just keeps staring and listening to the frenzy that is Koyama dressing as quickly as possible and his mind turns.
"This didn't happen!" He yells. "Nothing happened!"
Koyama reaches into his pocket and throws a few thousand yen onto the other bed and dashes out the door, slamming it behind him.
Shige's still in shock, sitting in bed, feeling his world world crumbling.
They don't talk for days, maybe a few weeks; neither are sure. They don't try to think about how long it's been, because that only makes them remember what happened. Koyama spends a lot of time with this college and high school friends, and Yamapi as well. They all pick up on the notable lack of Shige in Koyama's discourse. Shige for his part, latches onto Massu, spends a lot of time idly following him around shops and going out to dinner.
The situation is awkward and horrifying and they each do everything possible to not think about it. But it still lingers there in the back of their minds like a plague and a curse rolled up into one gut-wrenching thing.
Such a standard of avoidance can only last for so long between two people that work together before they're forced to meet up somewhere for something. As Koyama steps out of his manager's car, he's swearing up a storm in his head, feeling a little nauseous. When he enters the green room, it's just Massu, Tegoshi and Yamapi; Ryo and Shige had apparently already meandered off to get their make-up taken care of. He's thankful for that at the least, but Yamapi is eyeing him oddly, like he's curious about Koyama's obvious tension.
The photographer's assistant comes into the green room and gives a few details of the shoot, leaving a stack of papers with the same information in the hands of Yamapi.
"Ah, the cliche pairs," he says, flipping through the pages.
"Cliche?" Tegoshi asks.
"Me and Ryo. You and Massu. Koyama and Shige."
The moment when Tegoshi and Massu nod in calm understanding, Koyama drops a plastic bottle of tea, spilling it all over the floor. He swears furiously and grabs a large handful of tissues, sopping up the tea. A moment later, Yamapi is kneeling next to him with more tissues.
"Are you okay?"
Koyama ignores him, pulls more tissues out of the box on the table.
"You're really jumpy lately.... If you need to talk-"
"I'm fine," Koyama says through his teeth.
Once the tea is cleaned, he slumps onto the couch, next to Tegoshi, who drags him down the hall shortly after to have their make-up done.
As they turn down the hall, they just barely catch Shige going around a corner towards the set with Ryo and a manager.
Koyama can feel his heart pounding in his chest and he breaks out in a cold sweat. The make-up artist grumbles, patting at Koyama's forehead with a make-up pad dipped in baby powder. She kicks him out a minute later once Tegoshi's make-up is down; they need to make room for Yamapi and Massu.
Tegoshi nearly pushes him into the big room where the set is, mumbling about how weird Kei-chan is acting. The photographer is already obviously giving Shige some instructions. A manager waves Koyama over, saying that since their pairing is the only one finished with make-up and such, they'll be going first.
Koyama and Shige stare at their feet, the lights overhead, the snack table in the corner; anywhere but near each other. They're directed towards the set, told to be friendly. The manager smiles, saying that won't be heard for such old and close friends as KoyaShige.
As they step on, there's a foot of space between them, and Ryo looks at them oddly from behind the photographer.
"Stand closer!" Says their manager. "Koyama-kun, put your arm over Katou-kun's shoulders!"
Shige pales and Koyama breaks out in a sweat again.
The shoot is like pulling teeth and even a blind man would be able to see that they don't want to be anywhere near each other. By the end, the other four members are all gathered behind the photographer with expressions of shock, watching the figurative car crash play out in front of them. It's going nowhere, though, and finally, the photographer pulls away from the camera and tripod.
"One of you, please, just get off the set."
Koyama's flies off, obviously making for the bathroom. Massu, without even being asked, steps in his place, and Shige visibly relaxes. The photographing continues, and after a few rolls, Ryo and Yamapi fill their space while Shige goes off somewhere to hide, pointedly asking every one to leave him alone.
Tegoshi and Koyama are the last to get their photos taken, and by the time they finish, all the other members have left the studio. They're gathering up their things in the green room, Tegoshi can't help but ask.
"... Did you and Shige have a fight?"
Koyama tenses, but doesn't answer.
"Kei-chan?"
"Drop it! Jeez!" Koyama snatches his bag from the couch and stops out.
Days later, Pi invites Shige out for dinner, saying it had been to long since they'd properly talked. Shige agrees and doesn't recognize Pi's hidden intent.
Once the meal is done and the plates are cleared and a few beers are sitting in each of their stomachs happily, Pi brings it up.
"I'm sure you won't want to talk about it, but... what happened? Between you and Koyama."
Shige's jaw drops and his face pales. "Um, why-"
"I know something happened. Don't lie. It's obvious."
Shige averts his eyes, but doesn't say anything.
"I've seen you guys fight before, and it's never anything bad. A few hours and you're back to being KoyaShige. But this... Shige, the photographer had to ask one of you to leave the set in order to salvage the shoot!"
The silence hangs over them; Pi determined to get an answer, and Shige looking like he just wants to die, but his reply comes, although vague.
"I don't think," he begins, barely above a whisper, "we're going to be able to be friends any more."
It's Pi's turn for his jaw to drop and he waves his hand, encouraging Shige for details.
"I- We.... were out the one day and-" Shige's pitch is a little awkwardly high pitched, like it's strained. "D-drank some and...."
Shige doesn't say anything after that, completely clams up and has a look on his face like his world has completely fallen apart, that he's got nothing left. Pi almost feels bad for that, that he's responsible for bringing up such a blatantly unhappy and despair-filled memory.
"Just.... you guys'll figure it out. I know it. But, the longer you let it hang, the harder it'll be to fix. Please just try and talk to him."
Shige doesn't nod, but Pi hadn't been expecting anything like that. He drives Shige home and they're both utterly quiet the whole way.
Shige knows that Pi is right - letting this fester will only make it worse. But that doesn't make it any easier.
He puts it off for a week, focusing on other things and keeping busy. But when he gets a text message from Pi, the message itself being nothing but a picture of a clock, he knows what NEWS's leader is still waiting for.
After a week, he gets around to it; sitting on his bed, nervous, fingers sweaty, typing out eight different messages, all different yet completely the same before settling on one.
It takes him nearly an hour to build up the nerve to send it to Koyama. He doesn't expect a reply. And he doesn't get one.
It's minutes before the recording for The Shounen Club and Nakamaru can feel the tension coming off Koyama in waves. He's smiling, chatting with some juniors, but in his eyes, the slight lack of tone in his voice - Nakamaru recognizes it and guesses at what it is, just as the junior wanders off.
"Are you still on the rocks with your girlfriend?"
Koyama's shoulders tense up and his jaw locks. Nakamaru nods, like he knows and understands.
"Girls always say they're okay with keeping a relationship quiet, but... there's always a point where they go back on that."
"Heh, tell me about it," Koyama laughs, without a hint of amusement. "Hasn't ever been this bad. Couldn't be worse."
Nakamaru blinks, thinking Koyama is taking this worse than any one else he's ever seen.
The lights go down, and just before they dim beyond Nakamaru's ability to see, Koyama plasters the fakest smile of his life on his face.
The producers, Ohtake and Kitayama, look between themselves and then back to Koyama, who's pale and is trying to politely decline their request. It's odd to them, since he's always loved this kind of news before.
"But, Koyama-kun," Ohtake says, "When you have Katou-kun as a co-host, the ratings for K-chan NEWS are always phenomenal...."
"Ah, yes, I'm sure, but... Shige's been... really busy lately. Er-"
"But your manager said Katou-kun's schedule was more than free."
"What about Tegoshi-kun? He'd be good as a co-host too, wouldn't he?"
The producers cant their heads and seem to consider it before Kitayama speaks up; "But the fans love that classic KoyaShige interaction."
The non-discussion continues for another 30 minutes, until Koyama loses, and Shige is set as his co-host for the recording in five days.
It really goes without saying that the recording is a disaster. Absolutely horrible, nothing but awkward non-conversation for 30 minutes. Ohtake and Kitayama gawk at them, tell them to get on with it once Bambina starts playing. They can't.
They won't even look at each other; Koyama directly at the hosting notes he's got in his hands, Shige between the mic and his own hands. They verbally dance around, talking more about the other members than their more familiar topics, like outings, or memories from when they were juniors.
It's like a car accident, only maybe a little worse. Only maybe a lot worse.
The whole way out the recording studio, down the elevator, to the car and to their individual homes, the manager bitches about it, complaining in sharp, angry tones. He calls them unprofessional, among other less generous things. Shige and Koyama sit as far apart from each other as they can in the van, staring out the windows, pointedly not commenting on the manager's rants. The manager thinks they're feeling guilty and that's why they are quiet. It's probably better that he doesn't know better.
Once he's safely back within the walls of his own home, a note from his mom on the kitchen table, Koyama finally starts to feel calm again. He eats some leftovers and sends a mail to Pi.
Drinks?, is all it says, but Pi knows when one word can carry a heavier meaning, and he takes Koyama up on the offer.
Koyama avoids the topic of the recording, and Pi doesn't bring it up. It's not until nearly the end of the night when they're about to split ways that Yamapi does anything to make Koyama uncomfortable.
"Listen," he says, as they stand under an awning outside the pub. "Whatever happened with you and Shige-"
"Nothing happened," Koyama spits out.
"I'm not stupid, Koyama. Just talk with him. Or else, it'll keep being weird."
"Mind your own business, will you?"
"I know it's not something easy to deal with-"
"What would you know? And what do you know about this?"
Hearing such a cruel, mean tone from Koyama is odd, and Yamapi feels a little bit like he's living in a world of body-snatchers. But, he also knows Koyama well enough to know when he's terrified and lashing out in an attempt to protect himself.
"I've been in this business longer than you, Koyama. Whatever demons you're facing, I've probably been there, one time or another. So, trust me on this; work it out."
Koyama drops his keys on the ground, fumbling to pick them back up. Yamapi's words are like a stab in the chest, and he doesn't even really pay attention when Pi walks off, to his own car.
Koyama lies awake in his bed for a long while when he gets home. In the dark. Still completely dressed.
Talking about what happened means acknowledging that something happened and that there is a definite rift. That KoyaShige isn't quite so KoyaShige anymore. Or, maybe, that they're too KoyaShige.
His phone buzzes in his pocket; it's just his brother-in-law asking about his mother's birthday.
In the corner of the screen, the new message envelope is still flashing, and he knows why. Sitting, intimidating and loud, in his inbox is a message from Shige. One that's been there for a while, because he hasn't been able to bring himself to look at it. His fingers hover over the buttons, and he feels next to himself as he opens it, Yamapi's words still ringing in his head.
Can we talk? I really need my best friend back...
At least the new message envelope is gone.
It's still another few days until Koyama can get himself to call Shige; it goes to voicemail. His message consists of only two words: "Call me."
Shige's a bit quicker on the return call, getting back to him in only a couple hours.
"Hi," he says, and seems to lack anything more.
"... Yo."
"... How've you been?"
"Meh," Koyama mutters, rubbing his eyes.
Shige seems exhausted. "Can we just-.... Is-..."
"I'm sorry, Shige."
"Huh?"
"That I was too drunk to know what I was doing. That I ran out and left you alone, when you were just as freaked out as I was."
"Koyama-"
"I just didn't know what to do."
Once it's off his chest, Koyama starts feeling a little better. The situation still isn't perfect, but it's progressing, now that he's able to at least speak with Shige.
"Yeah, me too," Shige answers after a minute. "Considering though, that's all probably the normal reaction - to run and avoid the issue."
For the first time, in a long time, Koyama finds himself laughing, knowing full well that it's Shige on the other side of the phone line.
"You always think so logically," Koyama whines, and Shige clicks his tongue in fake annoyance.
It's not even weird that their conversation completely moves onto other things - a TV special on Cuba that was on the other night, Massu's current obsession with canvas bags, the creepy tone that Tegoshi uses while talking about his dog. It's refreshing and relaxing, that while their relationship isn't where it had been previously, there are signs that they can get it there again. In the background of their talk, a buzzer sounds on Shige's side.
"Ah, that's my dinner."
"Go eat," Koyama says. "I'll see you on thursday for work."
"Yeah," Shige replies, and just before Koyama is about to hang up, he starts talking again. "I wasn't lying, you know."
"Huh? About what?"
"That I needed my best friend back."
Koyama flushes a little, and stumbles over his words. "Oh- Um. Ah....."
"I don't mean it as any pressure," Shige continues. "I just want you to know. That I wasn't lying when I said that."
And Shige hangs up, making Koyama's only phone partner a beeping line.
Thursday is a Myojo photoshop. Just Koyama, Shige and Massu, though - Tegoshi is filming, Ryo is with Kanjani8 doing something and Yamapi is just randomly MIA. Thankfully, it's an amusing shoot, and not one going for sexiness, so the three of them sit around, chit-chatting and eating takoyaki, kabocha korokke and gyoza (Massu smiled especially widely when they were brought out). It doesn't feel weird at all; it just feels like the three of them.
It doesn't feel weird when Massu feeds him a takoyaki, and it doesn't feel weird when Shige almost falls backwards out of his chair and grabs onto Koyama's jacket for a balance check, but probably most relieving, is that when Shige leans across the table, a little bit into Koyama's personal space, to taunt Massu with the last gyoza, it doesn't feel weird. He gets that same old Oh, Shige-sort of platonic feeling, and the photographer doesn't miss the chance to catch the moment of Shige finally being the teaser (and not the teased), with Koyama smiling brightly in the background.