Assurance [One-shot]
Title: Assurance
Author: yeyell15
Pair: Yabunoo
Genre: Drama, Romance, Humor
Summary: A paranoid Inoo Kei and an understanding Yabu Kota~
…My heart that is filled with worries and yours that doesn’t seem to care how time passes by. We have different perspective in our lives, total opposites. You are older but it seems that I was the one older. One word to describe you, it is passive. And I assumed. I blindly thought that it was like that for all the people around you but-hey, I was wrong. I learned that it was just towards me-only me.
I wonder why though.
I wonder why you are that way only to me. Am I that special to be treated that way? Or am I just someone unworthy of anything that revolves around you-the beautiful you. Chuckling, I couldn’t help but feel silly at my thoughts. Because who am I kidding anyway? Me, being special to somebody? Oh man, that’s absurd. Seriously jeopardy, right? It’s definitely an apocalyptic sign. Because, what am I compared to you, right? Because anything said, you are the heavens, while me, silly me is just from the lowly grounds. It’s despicable, right? After all, you are from a well-known and intact family, unlike me, who only had a mother to call as mine. And that’s tragic, right? Because I live poorly compared to benevolent and perfect you.
And who in their right mind would disagree. After all, we are from two different worlds. It’s just lunacy, you and me, because unlike you, I’ve seen hell, while you, pacified you, haven’t even touched or been hurt by a spindle. So, what’s the use, right? What’s the use? Because ever since then I fend for myself; I live for my dreams and my future. I stake my own happiness for a life that is better for me and my mother-my family. Although, don’t get me wrong. I love what I am doing. I am proud of my achievements and sacrifices because with such vigor to achieve a dream and a future. I graduated from university, even if it’s only through scholarship. Though, despite all that, I tried very hard to accomplish my works flawlessly that it even ate my private time. It took half of my life away-my opportunity to find something to treasure and to hold until forever. That’s why now, I am desperately wondering if what I did back then was the right thing to do.
I wonder, na?
I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
I gave a deep sigh. I wonder…
“Sorry, I have to finish my workloads. Let’s go out some other time”
It has been years since we started dating, I think it was way back in our university days. And just like how I was when you confessed to me, just like how I was when we started as lovers, I still can’t comprehend how were you able to stay with me without complaining, not even a bit-a sigh, a qualm, and even a raise of those gorgeous eyebrows-nothing. Even if time eats me away and our relationship as well. It goes by redundantly and it’s scaring me. It honestly does, because as I get deeply involved in my job-much deeper than I am even supposed to-I…
I get more and more scared of being with you. I get more scared of the very existence of you, which I kept on wondering why. Though deep down, somehow I know what the feeling is. And honestly, it’s cracking my heart, because it’s something that I’ve been denying ever since you and I became “Us”.
“No it’s alright. Just don’t over work yourself, okay?”
And your kind and understanding words, paired with your big and freakishly loving heart, every fucking time…just every fucking time… it just…
“You haven’t slept yet. Please take a nap. I’m worried. Please, Kei… I beg…”
It just kills me inside. It just does. And I am scared of that. I am scared of you. I am scared of everything about you. That’s why, I feel like this. I feel immensely hurt and depressed because I am starting to become too scared to be with you-too scared of falling more and more deeply in love with you. Just because, I am afraid-afraid that if I continue to focus on my career and neglect you. One day you’ll realize. One day you’ll finally see how I’ve been unfair to you and leave. And I just can’t live with that. I just can’t. I just love you too much-love you freaking much to. even allow myself to let you go.
“…Kei…”
And you smiled! You smiled with that beautiful smile that crinkles like the moon. Oh God, how I love that smile, yet I-I was too anxious to look at you when you smile at me like nothing is wrong, like nothing happened at all and everything is still there and perfect-just like the first time we kissed and held hands. And I don’t understand. I really just can’t decrypt you. You’re such a mystery to me, because even if I know that there is something wrong… that I am neglecting you and purposely ignoring you. You just kept on telling me that it is fine while gently patting my head and kissing my forehead. And I don’t know anymore, because did you know that every time you say those words, every time you act like everything is fine. I can’t help myself… I can’t help myself from getting scared…
…scared of…
Walking side by side, this is one of our routines when going home. Though I wonder when this walk of ours did become this quiet. Your laughs, your bickers, and complains about your day I wonder where are those. You’re too quiet; I wonder what you’re thinking.
“Kou…” I called out to you and that made you turn around. “Yes?” You smiled, and my heart fluttered like those fireworks in the sky. “I…” I began but I think a cat got stuck in my throat. Oh why? “It’s fine.” You told me and I don’t understand. But before I could even ask, you took hold of my hand and kissed it before you intertwined it with yours. “I understand.” You grinned now-thump dump. And just like that magic gravity pull that you have towards me. I began to forget my worries, like… like it wasn’t even there, like it wasn’t even supposed to be there in the first place, and it’s silly. Everything is silly that it ended up to me giggling and you giggling and laughing with me.
Yet again your assuring words, hearing them for countless times-a tear, “Kou-chan…” I don’t remember anymore how many times I stared at your eyes and how many times I’ve watched how your expression changed. Knowing that I’ve been too unfair the tears that I’ve been keeping escaped from my eyes and my breath hitched. I know you’re worried because I suddenly burst into tears but I can’t help it anymore, “Kei…” your voice echoed in my ears, I know you’re there, your existence is too overwhelming for me not to notice. “I’m sorry…I-I know I’ve been too unfair…I’m really sorry…I mean it, Kota…I’m sorry…” not being able to stop those stubborn tears from falling.
“Hey, baby stop crying…” Kota said in a soft tone, he cupped my face as he desperately wipe and stop my tears from falling. “Look at how ugly you are now~” he teased, “Uwaaaaaaa~!!!” yes, he triggered it. “Oh god, hey stop!” Kota panicked, I knew him, I knew every inches of him.
My tears rolled continuously while laughing with Kota that made me hic and sob like a kid, I felt that I’m being too unfair already and my guilt is eating me away. I can’t keep it inside anymore, I’m suffocating with my own fears of losing and hurting the one I love the most.
“Choose whether to laugh or cry, it’s confusing you know.” Kota teased, he knew how to stop me from crying but I just can’t. Not now when my heart, my whole being is filled of contentment and warmth that he never fails to give, and his act of simply pulling me into a tight embrace, and just like always he’ll assure me “-it’s fine, I know, I won’t leave you, not with these petty little things. You have your life, I have mine. So it’s just a matter of give and take. And Kei I just have tons of free time than you do~ I’ve doing great for stopping myself from taking you and lock you up in my room!”, he said proudly as he continuously wipe my tears away. He’ll assure me that everything is fine, it will always be fine.
*owari*
A/N: Another Yabunoo fic after a long time... :) Enjoy reading! *Story is based on Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi*
Do drop by some comments if this is worth reading!
Author: yeyell15
Pair: Yabunoo
Genre: Drama, Romance, Humor
Summary: A paranoid Inoo Kei and an understanding Yabu Kota~
…My heart that is filled with worries and yours that doesn’t seem to care how time passes by. We have different perspective in our lives, total opposites. You are older but it seems that I was the one older. One word to describe you, it is passive. And I assumed. I blindly thought that it was like that for all the people around you but-hey, I was wrong. I learned that it was just towards me-only me.
I wonder why though.
I wonder why you are that way only to me. Am I that special to be treated that way? Or am I just someone unworthy of anything that revolves around you-the beautiful you. Chuckling, I couldn’t help but feel silly at my thoughts. Because who am I kidding anyway? Me, being special to somebody? Oh man, that’s absurd. Seriously jeopardy, right? It’s definitely an apocalyptic sign. Because, what am I compared to you, right? Because anything said, you are the heavens, while me, silly me is just from the lowly grounds. It’s despicable, right? After all, you are from a well-known and intact family, unlike me, who only had a mother to call as mine. And that’s tragic, right? Because I live poorly compared to benevolent and perfect you.
And who in their right mind would disagree. After all, we are from two different worlds. It’s just lunacy, you and me, because unlike you, I’ve seen hell, while you, pacified you, haven’t even touched or been hurt by a spindle. So, what’s the use, right? What’s the use? Because ever since then I fend for myself; I live for my dreams and my future. I stake my own happiness for a life that is better for me and my mother-my family. Although, don’t get me wrong. I love what I am doing. I am proud of my achievements and sacrifices because with such vigor to achieve a dream and a future. I graduated from university, even if it’s only through scholarship. Though, despite all that, I tried very hard to accomplish my works flawlessly that it even ate my private time. It took half of my life away-my opportunity to find something to treasure and to hold until forever. That’s why now, I am desperately wondering if what I did back then was the right thing to do.
I wonder, na?
I wonder if I’m doing the right thing.
I gave a deep sigh. I wonder…
“Sorry, I have to finish my workloads. Let’s go out some other time”
It has been years since we started dating, I think it was way back in our university days. And just like how I was when you confessed to me, just like how I was when we started as lovers, I still can’t comprehend how were you able to stay with me without complaining, not even a bit-a sigh, a qualm, and even a raise of those gorgeous eyebrows-nothing. Even if time eats me away and our relationship as well. It goes by redundantly and it’s scaring me. It honestly does, because as I get deeply involved in my job-much deeper than I am even supposed to-I…
I get more and more scared of being with you. I get more scared of the very existence of you, which I kept on wondering why. Though deep down, somehow I know what the feeling is. And honestly, it’s cracking my heart, because it’s something that I’ve been denying ever since you and I became “Us”.
“No it’s alright. Just don’t over work yourself, okay?”
And your kind and understanding words, paired with your big and freakishly loving heart, every fucking time…just every fucking time… it just…
“You haven’t slept yet. Please take a nap. I’m worried. Please, Kei… I beg…”
It just kills me inside. It just does. And I am scared of that. I am scared of you. I am scared of everything about you. That’s why, I feel like this. I feel immensely hurt and depressed because I am starting to become too scared to be with you-too scared of falling more and more deeply in love with you. Just because, I am afraid-afraid that if I continue to focus on my career and neglect you. One day you’ll realize. One day you’ll finally see how I’ve been unfair to you and leave. And I just can’t live with that. I just can’t. I just love you too much-love you freaking much to. even allow myself to let you go.
“…Kei…”
And you smiled! You smiled with that beautiful smile that crinkles like the moon. Oh God, how I love that smile, yet I-I was too anxious to look at you when you smile at me like nothing is wrong, like nothing happened at all and everything is still there and perfect-just like the first time we kissed and held hands. And I don’t understand. I really just can’t decrypt you. You’re such a mystery to me, because even if I know that there is something wrong… that I am neglecting you and purposely ignoring you. You just kept on telling me that it is fine while gently patting my head and kissing my forehead. And I don’t know anymore, because did you know that every time you say those words, every time you act like everything is fine. I can’t help myself… I can’t help myself from getting scared…
…scared of…
Walking side by side, this is one of our routines when going home. Though I wonder when this walk of ours did become this quiet. Your laughs, your bickers, and complains about your day I wonder where are those. You’re too quiet; I wonder what you’re thinking.
“Kou…” I called out to you and that made you turn around. “Yes?” You smiled, and my heart fluttered like those fireworks in the sky. “I…” I began but I think a cat got stuck in my throat. Oh why? “It’s fine.” You told me and I don’t understand. But before I could even ask, you took hold of my hand and kissed it before you intertwined it with yours. “I understand.” You grinned now-thump dump. And just like that magic gravity pull that you have towards me. I began to forget my worries, like… like it wasn’t even there, like it wasn’t even supposed to be there in the first place, and it’s silly. Everything is silly that it ended up to me giggling and you giggling and laughing with me.
Yet again your assuring words, hearing them for countless times-a tear, “Kou-chan…” I don’t remember anymore how many times I stared at your eyes and how many times I’ve watched how your expression changed. Knowing that I’ve been too unfair the tears that I’ve been keeping escaped from my eyes and my breath hitched. I know you’re worried because I suddenly burst into tears but I can’t help it anymore, “Kei…” your voice echoed in my ears, I know you’re there, your existence is too overwhelming for me not to notice. “I’m sorry…I-I know I’ve been too unfair…I’m really sorry…I mean it, Kota…I’m sorry…” not being able to stop those stubborn tears from falling.
“Hey, baby stop crying…” Kota said in a soft tone, he cupped my face as he desperately wipe and stop my tears from falling. “Look at how ugly you are now~” he teased, “Uwaaaaaaa~!!!” yes, he triggered it. “Oh god, hey stop!” Kota panicked, I knew him, I knew every inches of him.
My tears rolled continuously while laughing with Kota that made me hic and sob like a kid, I felt that I’m being too unfair already and my guilt is eating me away. I can’t keep it inside anymore, I’m suffocating with my own fears of losing and hurting the one I love the most.
“Choose whether to laugh or cry, it’s confusing you know.” Kota teased, he knew how to stop me from crying but I just can’t. Not now when my heart, my whole being is filled of contentment and warmth that he never fails to give, and his act of simply pulling me into a tight embrace, and just like always he’ll assure me “-it’s fine, I know, I won’t leave you, not with these petty little things. You have your life, I have mine. So it’s just a matter of give and take. And Kei I just have tons of free time than you do~ I’ve doing great for stopping myself from taking you and lock you up in my room!”, he said proudly as he continuously wipe my tears away. He’ll assure me that everything is fine, it will always be fine.
*owari*
A/N: Another Yabunoo fic after a long time... :) Enjoy reading! *Story is based on Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi*
Do drop by some comments if this is worth reading!