The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Sadists

[yingtai]

One of my close friends is a sadist. Some of her favourite stories fall squarely into my definition of horror.

She is also terminally warm-hearted. She can't finish reading some of my favourite stories because the ethical problems upset her so much.  And she used to worry whether she was evil.

This post is for her.

Comments

[aka_greywolf]

As an enthusiastic sadist, I greatly enjoyed your post. I agree with your basic assertion that sadism is about compassion and intimacy, that at its heart its about carin. In the end. To my mind its a symbiotic relationship, the one between "predator" and "prey". If I do not get the reciprocal flow of energy and emotion, then the entire act is, at best, a form of art. There is also a bit of enlightened self-interest tied in since deep down inside, carefully harnessed, is the dark hunger to rend and destroy. But, you musn't break your toys or you won't get anymore. But, the occasional ding is OK.

[yingtai]

I was smiling as I read this comment until I got to the bit about the ding! Realistically, I know we submissives have to be mature when mistakes are made, but I feel so much happier when the dom beats himself up over it and grimly sets himself to not getting it wrong again, so I don't have to do it for him. This is what I've seen a sadist friend and dom friend of mine do, but they're women. As a straight woman, I sure hope I don't have to expect lower standards from men.

But perhaps when you said ding, you didn't mean to imply carelessness?

[aka_greywolf]

Not carelessness, but more in a martial art sense; when you spar, when you dance, bruises and such are not unexpected. The same between a sadist and the object of his/her affections and hungers. If we were to engage in a kidnap scene, I would not be surprised if you had bruises, dings if you will, from your struggles. Nor would I be surprised to have a bruise or two myself if my attention slipped. Something that results from a miscalculation is another story. Then you take steps to insure it does not happen again.

A comment on your rhetorical question on men and lower standards. In terms of behavior, I have yet to find anything significant that is gender based. Acculturation, yes, gender no. High standards, low standards it is more the individual and not the gender.

[yingtai]

That makes more sense. But you are making me uncomfortable by putting us both into a scenario.

You are aware that this blog has moved?