fic: the years they come and go (but today is here to stay) 2/4
fic: the years they come and go (but today is here to stay) (two/four)
fandom: the social network
pairing: mark/eduardo
notes: from the tsn_kinkmeme AU prompt here about 'summer lovin'', or, basically, eduardo moves to new york for the summer after his senior year of high school to stay with his estranged father and meets mark. sexytimes ensue.
title is from matt and kim's "where you're coming from"
So they've been hooking up for three weeks, then. It's almost the middle of August. Dobbs Ferry is insanely hot and muggy and sticky and Mark and Eduardo keep hooking up.
And by hooking up Eduardo means kissing. They've been kissing. And kissing.
Eduardo really likes kissing, but he is also sick of jerking off in the shower, cheek pressed against the tile, thinking about Mark's mouth, his thighs, his pale skinny ankles.
Eduardo is not a slut, but he likes sex. He has given six blowjobs and received seven and he has jerked off three guys and gotten a handjob from a girl when he was really drunk at a party two years ago.
He has also had sex. Once. When he was sixteen and stupid and at a gay bar for the first time, with Christy, and a guy had taken him into the bathroom and snorted a line of coke with him and fucked him in a stall.
Eduardo regrets that. A lot, really. But he has also put it behind him. He left the bathroom that night and cried into Christy's shoulder for an hour on the steps outside the bus station, and three days later he told his moms and cried again and they told him that it was okay, that it was going to be okay, and bought him a bunch of condoms and lube just in case.
And he doesn't think about it anymore, except when he is wasted and maudlin and with Christy.
She never brings it up again, when they're sober, just kisses his cheek and smiles at him, leans against his shoulder and squeezes his arm with her long fingernails.
The point is that Eduardo wants to see what Mark's face looks like when he's coming.
---
So the next night they're making out on Mark's basement couch because his parents are at his aunt's house in Jersey and Mark is hard.
Mark has gotten a boner every time they've hooked up. He gets embarrassed about it too, which makes Eduardo sad and turned-on at the same time in an extremely confusing way.
"Sorry," Mark says this time, pulling away, shaking his head, and Eduardo doesn't let him go, kisses him without breathing for a solid half a minute until Mark breaks away, gasping. Eduardo can feel the line of his cock against his thigh. Eduardo's halfway there himself.
"It's okay," he says, and moves his thigh up and down. Mark chokes out a breath. "Just, it's good, Mark. What- what do you wanna do?"
Mark shakes his head, shudders. "I don't know," he says weakly. "What do- what do you want to do?"
"Just want to make you come," Eduardo says, and laughs because he sounds ridiculous.
Mark isn't laughing. He's staring determinedly away from Eduardo and Eduardo rubs his palms down Mark's sides, pulls away, looks full-on at Mark.
"Have you ever-" he hesitates. "I mean, has anyone ever-"
Mark won't look at him.
"I've had a fucking orgasm before, Eduardo, I'm not twelve," he snaps, and Eduardo kisses his neck placatingly.
"That's not what I meant," he says in a low voice, right into Mark's ear. He feels Mark shiver under him, his pulse jump.
"Has anyone else. Ever made you come?"
Mark doesn't say anything.
"Because I really want to," Eduardo says, and Mark is taking careful shuddery breaths beneath him.
"I want you to come in my mouth," Eduardo says, skin heating, neck prickling, and Mark is nearly panting now.
"Oh God Wardo," he says like it's too much, just talking about it, and Eduardo leans down and kisses him.
Eduardo slides to his knees.
Mark is so fucking hard, in front of his face, and Eduardo pulls his boxers down slowly, and shit.
Eduardo laughs because, well, Mark is hung.
Mark makes an indignant little noise and covers himself with one hand. "What?" he says irritably, but Eduardo can hear the fear underneath it.
"Nothing," he says, and puts his lips on Mark's thigh.
"No, what the fuck Wardo, you just-" Mark says, and scrambles away, and Eduardo realizes, shit, he was actually just such an asshole.
"Just fuck off if you're gonna- what-" Mark says, voice shaking, and Eduardo shakes his head.
"Mark, please, that's not what I-"
Mark's jaw is set and he's pulling up his boxers and Eduardo reaches out, stops him.
"I didn't mean to laugh. It's just- shit, Mark. You're- you-" he stops and laughs again because is he really about to tell Mark he has a massive dick? Is it possible Mark doesn't know?
Mark is staring at him defensively, licking his lips. Eduardo needs to fix this. For his own dick's sake.
He gets up and straddles Mark on the couch and murmurs against his right ear, hot and wet, "I really want to blow you."
Mark's mouth is still tight but he shivers helplessly, unwillingly, and Eduardo can feel, he's still hard.
"And- Jesus, Mark, your dick, it's so-" Eduardo says vaguely, thickly, and finishes- "-so, hot, Mark-"
"Seriously, you're- fuck, I want to put my mouth on you," Eduardo murmurs, cheeks burning fiercely, and Mark makes a little sound in his throat.
"Don't fuck around," he says tightly, and Eduardo shakes his head, grinds down against his hips, hard.
"Oh god I'm not, Mark, I swear," Eduardo says, voice cracking. "Mark. Please let me suck your cock."
He sounds like such a slut.
Mark looks at him and his pupils are nearly black and he says, incoherently, mouth slack, "Yeah, Wardo, Jesus, fuck," until Eduardo slides off him and onto his knees and takes out Mark's cock.
Mark is determinedly not looking at him.
"Mark," Eduardo says, and rubs his palms up Mark's thighs. "Look at me."
"Wardo," Mark says but his voice is pleading, shaky, and he turns his face towards Eduardo and Eduardo puts his lips around the head of his cock.
Mark makes a choked-off little sound in his throat and his hips jerk and Eduardo can feel his thigh muscles jump.
He- well, he's kind of ashamed of the noises he makes then, breathing out around Mark's cock and sucking him as deep as he can.
Which is not very deep.
Because yeah, previously mentioned, Mark is hung like a fucking horse and it makes Eduardo's stomach tighten dizzily to think about how good it must feel for him, Eduardo's mouth working furiously around his cock. How different it is from a hand.
He cannot fit it all in his mouth and even though he is in Mark's warm familiar basement, with Mark, just Mark, Eduardo feels like such a goddamn whore.
He kind of loves it though.
He looks up and Mark is nearly biting through his bottom lip, hands fisted in his lap, and as Eduardo rubs the ridged roof of his mouth against the head of Mark's cock he sees Mark stick a fist in his mouth, bite down hard.
He makes a pleased sound at that and it keeps hitting him over and over, what he's doing and his stomach is twisting, warmth spreading in his belly and without preamble he shoves a hand down the front of his jeans and strokes once, twice, and comes in his pants.
He keeps his throat open and keeps sucking messily through it and Mark comes.
Eduardo swallows, because Mark makes these delicious shocked noises while he comes and Eduardo would not pull off for anything.
Eduardo crawls up the couch when he's done, wraps himself around Mark and kisses his neck, his ear, the side of his closed eye. Mark breathes under him, loose exhales.
"Okay?" Eduardo is saying, before he even realizes it. Into Mark's ear, into the side of his face. "Okay?"
"Eduardo," Mark says, voice small, and finally just pulls Eduardo's mouth to his. Kisses him and nods too many times and Eduardo is so stupidly happy.
---
Mark is a little shy, after that, and Eduardo knows that it is okay and he leaves, lets Mark be for a while.
He texts him later that night, though.
meet me tomorrow? my house noon?
And Mark responds eventually, sounds good.
He comes without Erica and Eduardo grins at him and pushes him up against the door, makes out with him right there in the front hall with the sun shooting in and then drags him to the kitchen and makes sandwiches.
They nap on the couch in the afternoon sunshine and watch TV and talk about college and eat more, and Eduardo is so fucking happy they are still the same.
He was nervous because- because Mark liked it, obviously, Eduardo blowing him, but Eduardo still gets a little hot, a little ashamed when he thinks about how desperate he acted, how fucking shameless.
He does not think Mark is the type to judge but he just- he just doesn't want Mark to think he's easy. Or- or like he'll fuck anyone. Because he thinks Mark has this image of him as some sort of Floridian anything-goes playboy and Eduardo is not that, not really.
So that afternoon when Mark is chewing on a Twizzler and Eduardo is flipping the channels he mutes the TV on the Sci Fi channel and tells Mark about how he lost his virginity.
Mark nods and Eduardo does not cry not even a little bit even though his voice shakes and his face goes hot. And afterwards Mark looks at him, like, sympathetic and confused and blank and, maybe, a little helpless jealousy that Eduardo can't quite understand.
"I'm sorry," he says though, voice flat, and Eduardo nods, looks away.
"So, just, I don't think I'm going to- to do that, again, for a while still," he says, scared because he is a slut one day and a cocktease the next and if he were Mark he honestly doesn't know what he'd do.
"That's cool," Mark says, and shrugs, and then he adds- "Do you want to make out?"
Eduardo laughs in relief. He really does.
----
They drive into the city the next week, and Eduardo blasts the radio and keeps the windows open on the highway, sticking his head out and grinning until his sunglasses nearly blow off his face and Mark tells him a story about a friend of a friend whose cousin got their head chopped off by a tree when they did the same thing.
Eduardo yanks his head back in, rolls the window up.
Mark cuts around an old lady, frowning in concentration, and Eduardo laughs.
"What?" Mark says without looking over at him.
"You're just an awful driver," Eduardo says, and starts cracking up.
"Asshole," Mark says. "I am not. At least I can drive at all."
"My moms are insanely over-protective, okay?" Eduardo says, license-less and sad, and flicks Mark on the shoulder. Mark makes an exaggerated motion like he's going to turn the steering wheel and drive them into a semi in the next lane, and Eduardo shrieks.
"Pussy," Mark says, a grin curling his mouth slightly.
"Please don't kill me, Mark," Eduardo says in an overdramatic voice. "Think of the future children I'll adopt. Think of them."
Mark snorts.
"I don't support the furthering of any gene pool that wears those glasses," he says, and Eduardo clutches at his sunglasses in mock indignation.
"How dare you?" he starts, but collapses, giggling, and rolls his seat back.
"I'm gonna sleep till we get there. At least if we die it'll be a peaceful transition.
Mark huffs out a laugh, but changes the radio from Top 40 to a mix Christy made Eduardo that Erica's become obsessed with which now has a permanent spot in Mark's mom's 5-CD stereo.
"Mm," Eduardo murmurs, feeling the sun heat his skin as the first song thrums through the car, and he opens his eyes slightly, studies the sharp line of Mark's profile.
Mark is tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and biting his lip as he puts the blinker on and Eduardo grins, turns his head towards the window to hide it.
--
"This is faaancy," Eduardo drawls, when they're sitting at some nice seafood restaurant in Midtown for lunch. "I'm so under-dressed."
"Shut up," Mark grumbles, and a friendly-looking man in his fifties in a white apron comes up and hugs him from behind.
"Marky!" he says, kissing Mark on the cheek, and Eduardo bites his lip to keep from grinning.
"Hi, Uncle John," Mark says flatly.
"John," Mark's uncle says, holding out a hand to Eduardo. "I know the apocalypse would come before Mark would introduce me to someone, so hi!"
"Eduardo," Eduardo says, shaking his hand. "I'm in town for the summer. Mark is attempting to show me around."
Mark kicks him under the table.
"Well, he brought you to the right place. You like seafood, Eduardo?"
"I'm from Florida. I'd probably have to kill myself if I didn't."
"Good answer. Okay, what do you want, Marky? You know the menu like the back of your hand. Just no oysters, right?"
"Oysters?"
"I'm allergic," Mark says, and Eduardo laughs.
"I'm glad you find my allergies hilarious," Mark says dryly. "I'll be sure not to trust you with my EpiPen."
"I'd EpiPen the shit out of you," Eduardo says quietly, laughing, and Mark flushes. "You'd never want anyone else around your EpiPen everagain."
"So weird," Mark mutters, but he's grinning.
"I'm going to bring out the sampler platter, minus the fried oysters, alright?" John says, and Mark nods.
"What Mark means is that sounds fantastic, and thank you very much," Eduardo says sternly, and John grins at them.
"I like you already, Eduardo," he says. Mark is glaring at him, cheeks pink.
When John leaves, Mark shakes his head at Eduardo.
"What?" Eduardo asks mock-innocently, and grins.
"I'd Epipen the shit out of you," Mark parrots, and shakes his head again. "You might as well have screamed, we're fucking!"
Eduardo laughs, mouth open.
"We're not fucking," he says, and Mark looks annoyed, and he slides a foot up onto Mark's ankle under the table, gives him a sweet soft smile.
Mark rolls his eyes.
--
They go to Times Square after, even though Mark hates it.
"Fucking tourists," he says with an unimpressed expression, and Eduardo grabs his hand, squeezes and lets go.
"I am a tourist," he proclaims. "I am a tourist and I am proud!"
A group of Germans posing in front of the Hershey's store cheer, and Eduardo gives them high-fives.
"You are a strange person," Mark says when Eduardo comes back to him, panting, laughing, and he wraps an arm around Mark's waist, kisses his temple.
"You love it," he says, grinning into Mark's hair, and Mark pushes him away, but falls back into him, smiling slightly, and lets Eduardo keep a hand on the small of his back for a minute.
"Where next?" Eduardo asks, and Mark shrugs.
"Can we go to the place where they make SNL?" Eduardo asks. "My mom is obsessed."
"Yeah," Mark says. "I mean, I've already been there, but sure."
"Oh I've already been there, oh I'm such a native," Eduardo mocks, and Mark shoves him.
"Humor me?" Eduardo says, and licks his lips. Mark follows the movement with his eyes, nods, Adam's apple bobbing.
It works out in the end, because they sneak away from the tour and make out in a stall of the men's bathroom on the fifth floor until someone walks in, and Eduardo pulls back, laughing silently, and they push their way out of the stall, eyes on the ground, grinning, flushed, so stupidly excited about it, how goddamn clever they are. Like they're the first people to ever kiss, it's that revolutionary.
Eduardo knows it's silly. He doesn't really give a fuck.
---
And then it all goes to shit.
Mark drives him home, and they kiss in the car until Mark pulls away, grins shyly and says, "My mom, um. I have dinner."
He lounges around for a couple hours, chats Christy for a while (AH OMG YOU HAD A NYC DATE UGH STOP SO JEALOUS) and then his father comes home and he is drunk.
He is drunk at ten PM, Eduardo can smell it on him, and he walks into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of whiskey, and Eduardo ignores him warily until he comes out of the kitchen twenty minutes later and says, "You- your mom, she was a good fucking woman," and Eduardo doesn't know what to say.
"Yeah," he says awkwardly, and his dad stares at him for a second, nodding idly. He is drunk, but Eduardo shouldn't care. Everyone has the right to get drunk. At least he's not at work until midnight, like every other day.
Except then his father keeps talking.
"Yeah, yeah, you know, if your mom had a good man in her life, she wouldn't fuck around with that bullshit she's doing now," his dad says, voice thick and slurred, and Eduardo is shocked. His cheeks heat. He stands up from the couch.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he says, voice trembling. "She's a lesbian. She's in love with Anne. They've been together for seventeen years."
"Because she hasn't found a man," his dad says, shaking his glass.
"Do you not understand the concept of homosexuality?" Eduardo says, and it's getting a little too close to what he said he wouldn't say, this summer, but he doesn't care.
"Maybe I don't. Don't understand how she can do that. She- we were in love," his father proclaims.
"She never loved you," Eduardo says meanly, though Jane has said before, she did love him, at one point. "She never wanted to be with you."
"You don't know much about your mother then, kid."
"I know she didn't ever give a shit about you. Why do you think we haven't even met, barely?"
"She got with that damn woman, and-"
"-you don't even know her, you- you- she doesn't care about you and she never will."
His dad's face goes red and Eduardo pants a little, nervous. This is the longest he's ever spoken to his father. Fantastic.
"Oh yeah? Well, if your mom and I never loved each other and we didn't wanna have a kid, what does that make you, Eduardo?" he says, drunk and slurring and Eduardo is suddenly scared. He backs away, around the counter, holding his hands up.
"I'm not gonna hit you," his dad says exasperatedly, and sloshes some whiskey out of his tumbler onto the floor with a wet slap.
"Just don't pretend you know anything about my family, because you fucking left," Eduardo says, and his eyes sting hotly. Fuck, he didn't mean to say that. He is not going to fucking cry in front of his stupid piece-of-shit father.
"She forced me away, the fucking dyke-"
"STOP calling her that!" Eduardo cries out, and then, like a compulsion, his chest aching- "You could have fucking come to see me! Could have visited me! You didn't give a shit!"
"Not gonna watch my son grow up in that kind of house," his father says, shaking his head.
Eduardo did not think it was going to be like this.
"You're such an asshole," he says, not even aware of what's coming out of his mouth, but feeling it right in his stomach. "You're pathetic. I'm glad you left, I'm so glad you left, I hate you so fucking much-"
"Shut your mouth, Eduardo-"
"No! Fuck you. Fuck. You." He stops because his voice cracks and blinks back the tears and runs upstairs, slams the door with a satisfyingly loud bang.
He hears his father rustling around downstairs, hears something crash. He curls into a ball on his bed, sticks a fist in his mouth but he cries anyway.
Fuck.
His phone's still lying on the edge of the bed, and he picks it up and sees-
fr: Mark
we still on for tomorrow?
They'd planned to harass Erica at work and then drive around until she got off and pick her up and go to dinner at Taco Bell. It was a time-honored tradition that could not be disrespected.
Eduardo takes a shuddery deep breath, rolls onto his back, blinks up at the ceiling.
He knows if he calls his house right now, he'll have to come home.
He wants that. Kind of. He misses his family. And Christy.
He misses talking, family dinners and stretching out on the porch in the languid Florida heat, flipping through books he's read a million times.
But- but he wants to be with Mark.
A sob rises in his chest again because fuck this whole summer is so fucking weird and he is so far away from Florida and just, fuck.
He texts his mom, breathing out shakily through his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut because even just thinking about it again makes him feel sick-
love you
And she responds-
love you 2 sweetheart. tough night?
it's nothing. don't tell anne. it's just weird
i know and u're being so brave. we <3 you!
Eduardo snorts, blurry-eyed, cracks a grin. His madre is such a dork.
how'd you even learn that?
ur madre is pretty tech savvy ! i looked at a myspace yesterday
… cool
i know! good night baby call 2morrow pls
Eduardo sighs and opens up Mark's text.
yeah pick me up at one?
Mark texts back in less than a minute.
see you tomorrow
Eduardo throws the phone onto the nightstand and rolls onto his stomach, closes his eyes. Tries to think about Mark, Mark with his hesitant half-grin and unkempt curls and ridiculous lips and it keeps running over in his head, what does that make you, Eduardo?
He buries his face in his pillow and falls into a restless sleep.
----
The next morning, Eduardo wakes up and stays upstairs until he hears his father leave.
When Mark honks outside he runs to the car and says, "Hey can we go somewhere alone real quick," and Mark nods without questioning him and drives them to an empty parking lot.
Mark says, "You okay?" and Eduardo nods, and says, "Put your chair back."
He goes down on Mark in the parking lot, sucks him as hard as he can, gulps in air around his cock until Mark's legs are shaking and he's saying, "Shit, Wardo, oh fuck I'm gonna come-"
Eduardo swallows and then sits up and leans his head against the seat. Mark is laid out flat, still gasping, dick out, and Eduardo puts a hand over his face.
"Can you bring me back to my dad's house?" he asks quietly, and Mark zips up his jeans and rolls his chair back up.
"What?" he asks. "Why? Are you okay? What- what was that, Wardo-"
"I'm fine," Eduardo says. "I just- I'm not feeling that well."
Mark just stares at him for a second, then turns on the car and drives Eduardo home. Eduardo pushes out of the seat, slams the door behind him and he feels reckless, strange, skin fizzing, but in the end he goes up to his room and shuts the door and sleeps until eight PM.
He pads cautiously down to the kitchen at eight and grabs dinner, and his cell rings and it's his father's assistant.
Telling him, "Mr. Saverin won't be coming back to his residence tonight but he will be there at 6:45 PM tomorrow with dinner," and Eduardo just says, "Yeah, sure," and hangs up.
He doesn't know what reaction she expects. Is he supposed to be flattered or something?
He hangs up and then it hits him, and he grins. Texts Mark-
im sorry about today just feeling weird. come over tomorrow at 6:30? i'll make it up to you
And Mark texts back-
i'll be there
Eduardo exhales shakily, bares his teeth for a moment. He doesn't sleep all night, practically, feels restless and unready.
But sickly excited, too. Fuck his fucking father. Eduardo will show him what a goddamn perfect son he is.
---
Mark knocks cautiously on the door the next day and Eduardo says, "It's open!" and Mark pushes it open, comes in and sits on the couch next to Eduardo.
Eduardo can barely focus on him, he keeps grinning, thinking about his father. It's six thirty three. He should be home in fifteen minutes.
"What's up," Mark says conversationally, still tentative, and Eduardo kisses him hard. Mark exhales, shocked, into his mouth, but kisses back.
Of course he does.
They make out for a while and Eduardo keeps checking his phone in his back pocket, exhaling frustratedly into Mark's mouth, until Mark says, "What's wrong? You're- you're being weird. Again."
"No I'm not," Eduardo says quickly, and the front door starts to open. He throws himself onto Mark, straddles him, and presses his lips hard against Mark's.
Mark makes a noise into his mouth and tries to push him off and Eduardo keeps kissing him until he sees his father over Mark's shoulder, face gray, briefcase still clutched in one hand, paper bag of food in the other.
He pulls away, panting triumphantly, and Mark extracts himself from underneath Eduardo, stands up and backs away towards the window.
"What-" his father seems a little speechless, and then, getting hold of himself, he says, "You-" and points at Mark.
Mark cowers. "You- get out of my house."
"Stay, Mark," Eduardo says fiercely, blood buzzing under his skin, and chances a look at Mark. He looks terrified.
"You don't tell anyone what to do under my roof, this is my goddamn house and I will not have you doing this bullshit here-" his dad says and Eduardo screams over him-
"Mark can stay for as long as he wants! He's my friend! Fuck that you fucking homophobic asshole-"
His father shuts him up with a glare, a minute twitching of his hand.
Mark is still in the corner of the room.
"Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you should go home to Florida. They tolerate you there."
Eduardo draws in a shaky breath, rage slipping out of him.
"You- why can't you just-" he stammers, and his father talks over him.
"I don't need this, you know that? I work, I sent your mother child-support, I don't need to put up with this."
"Put up with me, you mean? Because I'm gay," Eduardo spits, and Mark flinches from his spot near the window.
"Yeah, how does that feel? Your fucking only son is gay."
"I don't need this," his father says again, putting up his hands. "I didn't ask for you to come here."
"Yeah, you never would've let me stay if you'd known I was a fucking faggot, right," Eduardo says loudly, bitterly.
"Eduardo-"
"Why the fuck do you not want me?" he screams, and his voice cracks and that's not what he meant to say, why did he just fucking say that?
His father is staring right at him, eyes unreadable. Eduardo needs to keep screaming or he will cry and he is not going to cry again.
"I'm not gonna say sorry! You're the one who should apologize!"
"Eduardo, calm down," his father says.
Mark is silent, paralyzed.
"I don't need you," Eduardo says with finality, but it's an awful finish and his stomach hurts and his eyes are stinging again. He walks out of the house, grabbing Mark by the arm, but when they get outside Mark jerks away.
Eduardo looks up.
"What?"
"That-" Mark looks upset, pissed-off even, and underneath it terrified. "You just used me in some fucking revenge stunt against your dad?"
"No," Eduardo lies, and everything feels like it's cracking, falling apart. "No, Mark, I didn't-"
"I can't even talk to you right now," Mark says shakily, backing away, towards his car.
"Mark, please," Eduardo says and Mark drives away. Eduardo falls onto the front steps and puts a hand over his face, heaving out quick panicky breaths.
He fucked up with Mark like he fucks everything up.
He fumbles for his phone and scrolls down to M in his contacts, hits - Mom- and puts the phone to his ear.
He is so sick of fucking stuff up.
----
Eduardo calls his mom and she says, "Hey, babe," and he sobs into the phone.
She says, voice tight, "What's wrong, Eduardo," and he tearfully explains everything, every last detail and how now he doesn't know what to do because his father is angry with him and Mark thinks he's a piece of shit and really he just misses home and Christy and not being an idiot, and everything was better before he met Mark except it was really so much worse because Eduardo is really, stupidly, in like with him, and how is he supposed to fix it?
Anne listens and says yeah and it's okay until he is done talking and then she says, voice heavy, "Oh, honey."
"I fucked up," Eduardo chokes out, for the third or fourth time.
"You did, a little bit. That's okay." She pauses, takes a deep breath.
"I know Jane wouldn't want me to call Ricardo about this. Eduardo, do you want me to talk to him?"
Eduardo considers it. It'll probably end in a screaming match and a ticket back to Miami and even though part of him is saying that it is a good idea he can't give up on Mark because of one stupid decision. Mark has to forgive him.
He tries not think about why he has to because he will have a lot more feelings again, and he is really sick of all this fucking crying.
"No," he says. "No- mom, I just- I just don't get why he's not-" he breaks off, shakes his head.
"I know," his mom says. "There are people like that, you know that, hon. We're all so lucky to live in a neighborhood where it's not like that, but you've- you've heard this kind of talk before. It sucks, it really sucks, but it's out there."
"Yeah but it's my dad," Eduardo chokes out, and squeezes his leg hard with one hand, grits his teeth.
"I know," his mom says again. "I know, but, just think of it this way, okay? You're amazing, honey, you're the best son we could have ever wished for, and if you show your dad that, you can help him be less of an idiot. You know? It sucks that it's your responsibility, it shouldn't have to be, but I think you're up to it."
Eduardo chews his lip and breathes into the phone until his mom says, "You there? Did I lose you?"
"No I'm here," he says. "Just. You're coming in two weeks, right?"
"Ten days," Anne says. "We can't wait."
Eduardo nods. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I can try."
"If he- if he ever touches you, Eduardo, you're coming home, Mark or no," his mom says. "Just use your judgment, okay? I know you've got some somewhere."
"Thanks, mom," he says, rolling his eyes, and the door opens and he jerks, because he totally forgot he was on the front steps.
He twists back to look and his father is looking down at him, face blank, slightly contrite.
"Uh- there's dinner, inside. Burgers. I thought we could- eat," he says, and Eduardo stares at him.
"Yeah," he says suddenly after a second, holding the phone to his shoulder.
His dad nods and goes back in the house, and Eduardo says quietly, "We're going to eat dinner now, I guess."
"Alright," his mom says, still a little anxious. "Will you call me later and let me know how it's going?"
"Yeah," Eduardo says, and leans his head against the stair railing. "I- I miss you."
"I miss you too," Anne says, in a quiet private voice that Eduardo hasn't heard for a while. "A lot. And your madre misses you more, probably."
Eduardo nods, squeezes his eyes shut. "See you soon," he croaks out.
"Love you, babe. Christy came by the other day; she's so excited to meet your friends."
"I'm excited too," Eduardo says. "Okay, I should go."
He hangs up and goes cautiously inside and has dinner with his dad for the first time all summer.
It's- it's still strange. His father asks him short, measured questions about high school and Harvard, and Eduardo answers in short measured sentences.
They very carefully don't talk about Mark, or the massive fucking fight that just occurred.
But it's a start. Eduardo thinks, maybe it is a start.
PART THREE
fandom: the social network
pairing: mark/eduardo
notes: from the tsn_kinkmeme AU prompt here about 'summer lovin'', or, basically, eduardo moves to new york for the summer after his senior year of high school to stay with his estranged father and meets mark. sexytimes ensue.
title is from matt and kim's "where you're coming from"
So they've been hooking up for three weeks, then. It's almost the middle of August. Dobbs Ferry is insanely hot and muggy and sticky and Mark and Eduardo keep hooking up.
And by hooking up Eduardo means kissing. They've been kissing. And kissing.
Eduardo really likes kissing, but he is also sick of jerking off in the shower, cheek pressed against the tile, thinking about Mark's mouth, his thighs, his pale skinny ankles.
Eduardo is not a slut, but he likes sex. He has given six blowjobs and received seven and he has jerked off three guys and gotten a handjob from a girl when he was really drunk at a party two years ago.
He has also had sex. Once. When he was sixteen and stupid and at a gay bar for the first time, with Christy, and a guy had taken him into the bathroom and snorted a line of coke with him and fucked him in a stall.
Eduardo regrets that. A lot, really. But he has also put it behind him. He left the bathroom that night and cried into Christy's shoulder for an hour on the steps outside the bus station, and three days later he told his moms and cried again and they told him that it was okay, that it was going to be okay, and bought him a bunch of condoms and lube just in case.
And he doesn't think about it anymore, except when he is wasted and maudlin and with Christy.
She never brings it up again, when they're sober, just kisses his cheek and smiles at him, leans against his shoulder and squeezes his arm with her long fingernails.
The point is that Eduardo wants to see what Mark's face looks like when he's coming.
---
So the next night they're making out on Mark's basement couch because his parents are at his aunt's house in Jersey and Mark is hard.
Mark has gotten a boner every time they've hooked up. He gets embarrassed about it too, which makes Eduardo sad and turned-on at the same time in an extremely confusing way.
"Sorry," Mark says this time, pulling away, shaking his head, and Eduardo doesn't let him go, kisses him without breathing for a solid half a minute until Mark breaks away, gasping. Eduardo can feel the line of his cock against his thigh. Eduardo's halfway there himself.
"It's okay," he says, and moves his thigh up and down. Mark chokes out a breath. "Just, it's good, Mark. What- what do you wanna do?"
Mark shakes his head, shudders. "I don't know," he says weakly. "What do- what do you want to do?"
"Just want to make you come," Eduardo says, and laughs because he sounds ridiculous.
Mark isn't laughing. He's staring determinedly away from Eduardo and Eduardo rubs his palms down Mark's sides, pulls away, looks full-on at Mark.
"Have you ever-" he hesitates. "I mean, has anyone ever-"
Mark won't look at him.
"I've had a fucking orgasm before, Eduardo, I'm not twelve," he snaps, and Eduardo kisses his neck placatingly.
"That's not what I meant," he says in a low voice, right into Mark's ear. He feels Mark shiver under him, his pulse jump.
"Has anyone else. Ever made you come?"
Mark doesn't say anything.
"Because I really want to," Eduardo says, and Mark is taking careful shuddery breaths beneath him.
"I want you to come in my mouth," Eduardo says, skin heating, neck prickling, and Mark is nearly panting now.
"Oh God Wardo," he says like it's too much, just talking about it, and Eduardo leans down and kisses him.
Eduardo slides to his knees.
Mark is so fucking hard, in front of his face, and Eduardo pulls his boxers down slowly, and shit.
Eduardo laughs because, well, Mark is hung.
Mark makes an indignant little noise and covers himself with one hand. "What?" he says irritably, but Eduardo can hear the fear underneath it.
"Nothing," he says, and puts his lips on Mark's thigh.
"No, what the fuck Wardo, you just-" Mark says, and scrambles away, and Eduardo realizes, shit, he was actually just such an asshole.
"Just fuck off if you're gonna- what-" Mark says, voice shaking, and Eduardo shakes his head.
"Mark, please, that's not what I-"
Mark's jaw is set and he's pulling up his boxers and Eduardo reaches out, stops him.
"I didn't mean to laugh. It's just- shit, Mark. You're- you-" he stops and laughs again because is he really about to tell Mark he has a massive dick? Is it possible Mark doesn't know?
Mark is staring at him defensively, licking his lips. Eduardo needs to fix this. For his own dick's sake.
He gets up and straddles Mark on the couch and murmurs against his right ear, hot and wet, "I really want to blow you."
Mark's mouth is still tight but he shivers helplessly, unwillingly, and Eduardo can feel, he's still hard.
"And- Jesus, Mark, your dick, it's so-" Eduardo says vaguely, thickly, and finishes- "-so, hot, Mark-"
"Seriously, you're- fuck, I want to put my mouth on you," Eduardo murmurs, cheeks burning fiercely, and Mark makes a little sound in his throat.
"Don't fuck around," he says tightly, and Eduardo shakes his head, grinds down against his hips, hard.
"Oh god I'm not, Mark, I swear," Eduardo says, voice cracking. "Mark. Please let me suck your cock."
He sounds like such a slut.
Mark looks at him and his pupils are nearly black and he says, incoherently, mouth slack, "Yeah, Wardo, Jesus, fuck," until Eduardo slides off him and onto his knees and takes out Mark's cock.
Mark is determinedly not looking at him.
"Mark," Eduardo says, and rubs his palms up Mark's thighs. "Look at me."
"Wardo," Mark says but his voice is pleading, shaky, and he turns his face towards Eduardo and Eduardo puts his lips around the head of his cock.
Mark makes a choked-off little sound in his throat and his hips jerk and Eduardo can feel his thigh muscles jump.
He- well, he's kind of ashamed of the noises he makes then, breathing out around Mark's cock and sucking him as deep as he can.
Which is not very deep.
Because yeah, previously mentioned, Mark is hung like a fucking horse and it makes Eduardo's stomach tighten dizzily to think about how good it must feel for him, Eduardo's mouth working furiously around his cock. How different it is from a hand.
He cannot fit it all in his mouth and even though he is in Mark's warm familiar basement, with Mark, just Mark, Eduardo feels like such a goddamn whore.
He kind of loves it though.
He looks up and Mark is nearly biting through his bottom lip, hands fisted in his lap, and as Eduardo rubs the ridged roof of his mouth against the head of Mark's cock he sees Mark stick a fist in his mouth, bite down hard.
He makes a pleased sound at that and it keeps hitting him over and over, what he's doing and his stomach is twisting, warmth spreading in his belly and without preamble he shoves a hand down the front of his jeans and strokes once, twice, and comes in his pants.
He keeps his throat open and keeps sucking messily through it and Mark comes.
Eduardo swallows, because Mark makes these delicious shocked noises while he comes and Eduardo would not pull off for anything.
Eduardo crawls up the couch when he's done, wraps himself around Mark and kisses his neck, his ear, the side of his closed eye. Mark breathes under him, loose exhales.
"Okay?" Eduardo is saying, before he even realizes it. Into Mark's ear, into the side of his face. "Okay?"
"Eduardo," Mark says, voice small, and finally just pulls Eduardo's mouth to his. Kisses him and nods too many times and Eduardo is so stupidly happy.
---
Mark is a little shy, after that, and Eduardo knows that it is okay and he leaves, lets Mark be for a while.
He texts him later that night, though.
meet me tomorrow? my house noon?
And Mark responds eventually, sounds good.
He comes without Erica and Eduardo grins at him and pushes him up against the door, makes out with him right there in the front hall with the sun shooting in and then drags him to the kitchen and makes sandwiches.
They nap on the couch in the afternoon sunshine and watch TV and talk about college and eat more, and Eduardo is so fucking happy they are still the same.
He was nervous because- because Mark liked it, obviously, Eduardo blowing him, but Eduardo still gets a little hot, a little ashamed when he thinks about how desperate he acted, how fucking shameless.
He does not think Mark is the type to judge but he just- he just doesn't want Mark to think he's easy. Or- or like he'll fuck anyone. Because he thinks Mark has this image of him as some sort of Floridian anything-goes playboy and Eduardo is not that, not really.
So that afternoon when Mark is chewing on a Twizzler and Eduardo is flipping the channels he mutes the TV on the Sci Fi channel and tells Mark about how he lost his virginity.
Mark nods and Eduardo does not cry not even a little bit even though his voice shakes and his face goes hot. And afterwards Mark looks at him, like, sympathetic and confused and blank and, maybe, a little helpless jealousy that Eduardo can't quite understand.
"I'm sorry," he says though, voice flat, and Eduardo nods, looks away.
"So, just, I don't think I'm going to- to do that, again, for a while still," he says, scared because he is a slut one day and a cocktease the next and if he were Mark he honestly doesn't know what he'd do.
"That's cool," Mark says, and shrugs, and then he adds- "Do you want to make out?"
Eduardo laughs in relief. He really does.
----
They drive into the city the next week, and Eduardo blasts the radio and keeps the windows open on the highway, sticking his head out and grinning until his sunglasses nearly blow off his face and Mark tells him a story about a friend of a friend whose cousin got their head chopped off by a tree when they did the same thing.
Eduardo yanks his head back in, rolls the window up.
Mark cuts around an old lady, frowning in concentration, and Eduardo laughs.
"What?" Mark says without looking over at him.
"You're just an awful driver," Eduardo says, and starts cracking up.
"Asshole," Mark says. "I am not. At least I can drive at all."
"My moms are insanely over-protective, okay?" Eduardo says, license-less and sad, and flicks Mark on the shoulder. Mark makes an exaggerated motion like he's going to turn the steering wheel and drive them into a semi in the next lane, and Eduardo shrieks.
"Pussy," Mark says, a grin curling his mouth slightly.
"Please don't kill me, Mark," Eduardo says in an overdramatic voice. "Think of the future children I'll adopt. Think of them."
Mark snorts.
"I don't support the furthering of any gene pool that wears those glasses," he says, and Eduardo clutches at his sunglasses in mock indignation.
"How dare you?" he starts, but collapses, giggling, and rolls his seat back.
"I'm gonna sleep till we get there. At least if we die it'll be a peaceful transition.
Mark huffs out a laugh, but changes the radio from Top 40 to a mix Christy made Eduardo that Erica's become obsessed with which now has a permanent spot in Mark's mom's 5-CD stereo.
"Mm," Eduardo murmurs, feeling the sun heat his skin as the first song thrums through the car, and he opens his eyes slightly, studies the sharp line of Mark's profile.
Mark is tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and biting his lip as he puts the blinker on and Eduardo grins, turns his head towards the window to hide it.
--
"This is faaancy," Eduardo drawls, when they're sitting at some nice seafood restaurant in Midtown for lunch. "I'm so under-dressed."
"Shut up," Mark grumbles, and a friendly-looking man in his fifties in a white apron comes up and hugs him from behind.
"Marky!" he says, kissing Mark on the cheek, and Eduardo bites his lip to keep from grinning.
"Hi, Uncle John," Mark says flatly.
"John," Mark's uncle says, holding out a hand to Eduardo. "I know the apocalypse would come before Mark would introduce me to someone, so hi!"
"Eduardo," Eduardo says, shaking his hand. "I'm in town for the summer. Mark is attempting to show me around."
Mark kicks him under the table.
"Well, he brought you to the right place. You like seafood, Eduardo?"
"I'm from Florida. I'd probably have to kill myself if I didn't."
"Good answer. Okay, what do you want, Marky? You know the menu like the back of your hand. Just no oysters, right?"
"Oysters?"
"I'm allergic," Mark says, and Eduardo laughs.
"I'm glad you find my allergies hilarious," Mark says dryly. "I'll be sure not to trust you with my EpiPen."
"I'd EpiPen the shit out of you," Eduardo says quietly, laughing, and Mark flushes. "You'd never want anyone else around your EpiPen everagain."
"So weird," Mark mutters, but he's grinning.
"I'm going to bring out the sampler platter, minus the fried oysters, alright?" John says, and Mark nods.
"What Mark means is that sounds fantastic, and thank you very much," Eduardo says sternly, and John grins at them.
"I like you already, Eduardo," he says. Mark is glaring at him, cheeks pink.
When John leaves, Mark shakes his head at Eduardo.
"What?" Eduardo asks mock-innocently, and grins.
"I'd Epipen the shit out of you," Mark parrots, and shakes his head again. "You might as well have screamed, we're fucking!"
Eduardo laughs, mouth open.
"We're not fucking," he says, and Mark looks annoyed, and he slides a foot up onto Mark's ankle under the table, gives him a sweet soft smile.
Mark rolls his eyes.
--
They go to Times Square after, even though Mark hates it.
"Fucking tourists," he says with an unimpressed expression, and Eduardo grabs his hand, squeezes and lets go.
"I am a tourist," he proclaims. "I am a tourist and I am proud!"
A group of Germans posing in front of the Hershey's store cheer, and Eduardo gives them high-fives.
"You are a strange person," Mark says when Eduardo comes back to him, panting, laughing, and he wraps an arm around Mark's waist, kisses his temple.
"You love it," he says, grinning into Mark's hair, and Mark pushes him away, but falls back into him, smiling slightly, and lets Eduardo keep a hand on the small of his back for a minute.
"Where next?" Eduardo asks, and Mark shrugs.
"Can we go to the place where they make SNL?" Eduardo asks. "My mom is obsessed."
"Yeah," Mark says. "I mean, I've already been there, but sure."
"Oh I've already been there, oh I'm such a native," Eduardo mocks, and Mark shoves him.
"Humor me?" Eduardo says, and licks his lips. Mark follows the movement with his eyes, nods, Adam's apple bobbing.
It works out in the end, because they sneak away from the tour and make out in a stall of the men's bathroom on the fifth floor until someone walks in, and Eduardo pulls back, laughing silently, and they push their way out of the stall, eyes on the ground, grinning, flushed, so stupidly excited about it, how goddamn clever they are. Like they're the first people to ever kiss, it's that revolutionary.
Eduardo knows it's silly. He doesn't really give a fuck.
---
And then it all goes to shit.
Mark drives him home, and they kiss in the car until Mark pulls away, grins shyly and says, "My mom, um. I have dinner."
He lounges around for a couple hours, chats Christy for a while (AH OMG YOU HAD A NYC DATE UGH STOP SO JEALOUS) and then his father comes home and he is drunk.
He is drunk at ten PM, Eduardo can smell it on him, and he walks into the kitchen and pours himself a glass of whiskey, and Eduardo ignores him warily until he comes out of the kitchen twenty minutes later and says, "You- your mom, she was a good fucking woman," and Eduardo doesn't know what to say.
"Yeah," he says awkwardly, and his dad stares at him for a second, nodding idly. He is drunk, but Eduardo shouldn't care. Everyone has the right to get drunk. At least he's not at work until midnight, like every other day.
Except then his father keeps talking.
"Yeah, yeah, you know, if your mom had a good man in her life, she wouldn't fuck around with that bullshit she's doing now," his dad says, voice thick and slurred, and Eduardo is shocked. His cheeks heat. He stands up from the couch.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he says, voice trembling. "She's a lesbian. She's in love with Anne. They've been together for seventeen years."
"Because she hasn't found a man," his dad says, shaking his glass.
"Do you not understand the concept of homosexuality?" Eduardo says, and it's getting a little too close to what he said he wouldn't say, this summer, but he doesn't care.
"Maybe I don't. Don't understand how she can do that. She- we were in love," his father proclaims.
"She never loved you," Eduardo says meanly, though Jane has said before, she did love him, at one point. "She never wanted to be with you."
"You don't know much about your mother then, kid."
"I know she didn't ever give a shit about you. Why do you think we haven't even met, barely?"
"She got with that damn woman, and-"
"-you don't even know her, you- you- she doesn't care about you and she never will."
His dad's face goes red and Eduardo pants a little, nervous. This is the longest he's ever spoken to his father. Fantastic.
"Oh yeah? Well, if your mom and I never loved each other and we didn't wanna have a kid, what does that make you, Eduardo?" he says, drunk and slurring and Eduardo is suddenly scared. He backs away, around the counter, holding his hands up.
"I'm not gonna hit you," his dad says exasperatedly, and sloshes some whiskey out of his tumbler onto the floor with a wet slap.
"Just don't pretend you know anything about my family, because you fucking left," Eduardo says, and his eyes sting hotly. Fuck, he didn't mean to say that. He is not going to fucking cry in front of his stupid piece-of-shit father.
"She forced me away, the fucking dyke-"
"STOP calling her that!" Eduardo cries out, and then, like a compulsion, his chest aching- "You could have fucking come to see me! Could have visited me! You didn't give a shit!"
"Not gonna watch my son grow up in that kind of house," his father says, shaking his head.
Eduardo did not think it was going to be like this.
"You're such an asshole," he says, not even aware of what's coming out of his mouth, but feeling it right in his stomach. "You're pathetic. I'm glad you left, I'm so glad you left, I hate you so fucking much-"
"Shut your mouth, Eduardo-"
"No! Fuck you. Fuck. You." He stops because his voice cracks and blinks back the tears and runs upstairs, slams the door with a satisfyingly loud bang.
He hears his father rustling around downstairs, hears something crash. He curls into a ball on his bed, sticks a fist in his mouth but he cries anyway.
Fuck.
His phone's still lying on the edge of the bed, and he picks it up and sees-
fr: Mark
we still on for tomorrow?
They'd planned to harass Erica at work and then drive around until she got off and pick her up and go to dinner at Taco Bell. It was a time-honored tradition that could not be disrespected.
Eduardo takes a shuddery deep breath, rolls onto his back, blinks up at the ceiling.
He knows if he calls his house right now, he'll have to come home.
He wants that. Kind of. He misses his family. And Christy.
He misses talking, family dinners and stretching out on the porch in the languid Florida heat, flipping through books he's read a million times.
But- but he wants to be with Mark.
A sob rises in his chest again because fuck this whole summer is so fucking weird and he is so far away from Florida and just, fuck.
He texts his mom, breathing out shakily through his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut because even just thinking about it again makes him feel sick-
love you
And she responds-
love you 2 sweetheart. tough night?
it's nothing. don't tell anne. it's just weird
i know and u're being so brave. we <3 you!
Eduardo snorts, blurry-eyed, cracks a grin. His madre is such a dork.
how'd you even learn that?
ur madre is pretty tech savvy ! i looked at a myspace yesterday
… cool
i know! good night baby call 2morrow pls
Eduardo sighs and opens up Mark's text.
yeah pick me up at one?
Mark texts back in less than a minute.
see you tomorrow
Eduardo throws the phone onto the nightstand and rolls onto his stomach, closes his eyes. Tries to think about Mark, Mark with his hesitant half-grin and unkempt curls and ridiculous lips and it keeps running over in his head, what does that make you, Eduardo?
He buries his face in his pillow and falls into a restless sleep.
----
The next morning, Eduardo wakes up and stays upstairs until he hears his father leave.
When Mark honks outside he runs to the car and says, "Hey can we go somewhere alone real quick," and Mark nods without questioning him and drives them to an empty parking lot.
Mark says, "You okay?" and Eduardo nods, and says, "Put your chair back."
He goes down on Mark in the parking lot, sucks him as hard as he can, gulps in air around his cock until Mark's legs are shaking and he's saying, "Shit, Wardo, oh fuck I'm gonna come-"
Eduardo swallows and then sits up and leans his head against the seat. Mark is laid out flat, still gasping, dick out, and Eduardo puts a hand over his face.
"Can you bring me back to my dad's house?" he asks quietly, and Mark zips up his jeans and rolls his chair back up.
"What?" he asks. "Why? Are you okay? What- what was that, Wardo-"
"I'm fine," Eduardo says. "I just- I'm not feeling that well."
Mark just stares at him for a second, then turns on the car and drives Eduardo home. Eduardo pushes out of the seat, slams the door behind him and he feels reckless, strange, skin fizzing, but in the end he goes up to his room and shuts the door and sleeps until eight PM.
He pads cautiously down to the kitchen at eight and grabs dinner, and his cell rings and it's his father's assistant.
Telling him, "Mr. Saverin won't be coming back to his residence tonight but he will be there at 6:45 PM tomorrow with dinner," and Eduardo just says, "Yeah, sure," and hangs up.
He doesn't know what reaction she expects. Is he supposed to be flattered or something?
He hangs up and then it hits him, and he grins. Texts Mark-
im sorry about today just feeling weird. come over tomorrow at 6:30? i'll make it up to you
And Mark texts back-
i'll be there
Eduardo exhales shakily, bares his teeth for a moment. He doesn't sleep all night, practically, feels restless and unready.
But sickly excited, too. Fuck his fucking father. Eduardo will show him what a goddamn perfect son he is.
---
Mark knocks cautiously on the door the next day and Eduardo says, "It's open!" and Mark pushes it open, comes in and sits on the couch next to Eduardo.
Eduardo can barely focus on him, he keeps grinning, thinking about his father. It's six thirty three. He should be home in fifteen minutes.
"What's up," Mark says conversationally, still tentative, and Eduardo kisses him hard. Mark exhales, shocked, into his mouth, but kisses back.
Of course he does.
They make out for a while and Eduardo keeps checking his phone in his back pocket, exhaling frustratedly into Mark's mouth, until Mark says, "What's wrong? You're- you're being weird. Again."
"No I'm not," Eduardo says quickly, and the front door starts to open. He throws himself onto Mark, straddles him, and presses his lips hard against Mark's.
Mark makes a noise into his mouth and tries to push him off and Eduardo keeps kissing him until he sees his father over Mark's shoulder, face gray, briefcase still clutched in one hand, paper bag of food in the other.
He pulls away, panting triumphantly, and Mark extracts himself from underneath Eduardo, stands up and backs away towards the window.
"What-" his father seems a little speechless, and then, getting hold of himself, he says, "You-" and points at Mark.
Mark cowers. "You- get out of my house."
"Stay, Mark," Eduardo says fiercely, blood buzzing under his skin, and chances a look at Mark. He looks terrified.
"You don't tell anyone what to do under my roof, this is my goddamn house and I will not have you doing this bullshit here-" his dad says and Eduardo screams over him-
"Mark can stay for as long as he wants! He's my friend! Fuck that you fucking homophobic asshole-"
His father shuts him up with a glare, a minute twitching of his hand.
Mark is still in the corner of the room.
"Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you should go home to Florida. They tolerate you there."
Eduardo draws in a shaky breath, rage slipping out of him.
"You- why can't you just-" he stammers, and his father talks over him.
"I don't need this, you know that? I work, I sent your mother child-support, I don't need to put up with this."
"Put up with me, you mean? Because I'm gay," Eduardo spits, and Mark flinches from his spot near the window.
"Yeah, how does that feel? Your fucking only son is gay."
"I don't need this," his father says again, putting up his hands. "I didn't ask for you to come here."
"Yeah, you never would've let me stay if you'd known I was a fucking faggot, right," Eduardo says loudly, bitterly.
"Eduardo-"
"Why the fuck do you not want me?" he screams, and his voice cracks and that's not what he meant to say, why did he just fucking say that?
His father is staring right at him, eyes unreadable. Eduardo needs to keep screaming or he will cry and he is not going to cry again.
"I'm not gonna say sorry! You're the one who should apologize!"
"Eduardo, calm down," his father says.
Mark is silent, paralyzed.
"I don't need you," Eduardo says with finality, but it's an awful finish and his stomach hurts and his eyes are stinging again. He walks out of the house, grabbing Mark by the arm, but when they get outside Mark jerks away.
Eduardo looks up.
"What?"
"That-" Mark looks upset, pissed-off even, and underneath it terrified. "You just used me in some fucking revenge stunt against your dad?"
"No," Eduardo lies, and everything feels like it's cracking, falling apart. "No, Mark, I didn't-"
"I can't even talk to you right now," Mark says shakily, backing away, towards his car.
"Mark, please," Eduardo says and Mark drives away. Eduardo falls onto the front steps and puts a hand over his face, heaving out quick panicky breaths.
He fucked up with Mark like he fucks everything up.
He fumbles for his phone and scrolls down to M in his contacts, hits - Mom- and puts the phone to his ear.
He is so sick of fucking stuff up.
----
Eduardo calls his mom and she says, "Hey, babe," and he sobs into the phone.
She says, voice tight, "What's wrong, Eduardo," and he tearfully explains everything, every last detail and how now he doesn't know what to do because his father is angry with him and Mark thinks he's a piece of shit and really he just misses home and Christy and not being an idiot, and everything was better before he met Mark except it was really so much worse because Eduardo is really, stupidly, in like with him, and how is he supposed to fix it?
Anne listens and says yeah and it's okay until he is done talking and then she says, voice heavy, "Oh, honey."
"I fucked up," Eduardo chokes out, for the third or fourth time.
"You did, a little bit. That's okay." She pauses, takes a deep breath.
"I know Jane wouldn't want me to call Ricardo about this. Eduardo, do you want me to talk to him?"
Eduardo considers it. It'll probably end in a screaming match and a ticket back to Miami and even though part of him is saying that it is a good idea he can't give up on Mark because of one stupid decision. Mark has to forgive him.
He tries not think about why he has to because he will have a lot more feelings again, and he is really sick of all this fucking crying.
"No," he says. "No- mom, I just- I just don't get why he's not-" he breaks off, shakes his head.
"I know," his mom says. "There are people like that, you know that, hon. We're all so lucky to live in a neighborhood where it's not like that, but you've- you've heard this kind of talk before. It sucks, it really sucks, but it's out there."
"Yeah but it's my dad," Eduardo chokes out, and squeezes his leg hard with one hand, grits his teeth.
"I know," his mom says again. "I know, but, just think of it this way, okay? You're amazing, honey, you're the best son we could have ever wished for, and if you show your dad that, you can help him be less of an idiot. You know? It sucks that it's your responsibility, it shouldn't have to be, but I think you're up to it."
Eduardo chews his lip and breathes into the phone until his mom says, "You there? Did I lose you?"
"No I'm here," he says. "Just. You're coming in two weeks, right?"
"Ten days," Anne says. "We can't wait."
Eduardo nods. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, I can try."
"If he- if he ever touches you, Eduardo, you're coming home, Mark or no," his mom says. "Just use your judgment, okay? I know you've got some somewhere."
"Thanks, mom," he says, rolling his eyes, and the door opens and he jerks, because he totally forgot he was on the front steps.
He twists back to look and his father is looking down at him, face blank, slightly contrite.
"Uh- there's dinner, inside. Burgers. I thought we could- eat," he says, and Eduardo stares at him.
"Yeah," he says suddenly after a second, holding the phone to his shoulder.
His dad nods and goes back in the house, and Eduardo says quietly, "We're going to eat dinner now, I guess."
"Alright," his mom says, still a little anxious. "Will you call me later and let me know how it's going?"
"Yeah," Eduardo says, and leans his head against the stair railing. "I- I miss you."
"I miss you too," Anne says, in a quiet private voice that Eduardo hasn't heard for a while. "A lot. And your madre misses you more, probably."
Eduardo nods, squeezes his eyes shut. "See you soon," he croaks out.
"Love you, babe. Christy came by the other day; she's so excited to meet your friends."
"I'm excited too," Eduardo says. "Okay, I should go."
He hangs up and goes cautiously inside and has dinner with his dad for the first time all summer.
It's- it's still strange. His father asks him short, measured questions about high school and Harvard, and Eduardo answers in short measured sentences.
They very carefully don't talk about Mark, or the massive fucking fight that just occurred.
But it's a start. Eduardo thinks, maybe it is a start.
PART THREE