(no subject)
Do's and Don'ts for Building Happy Homes-- taken from "Tender Journey," by Dr. James Gill
Be careful of using personal entertainment as a way to avoid closeness with your spouse. Couples often do this at bedtime.
Don't stifle natural feelings of desire. Do whatever you can -- biblically, of course-- to fan the flame.
Don't work yourself up into a bad attitude simply because he or she is busy doing something else at the moment.
Never speak with sarcasm in your voice, especially regarding something your spouse enjoys. Show love by trying to appreciate each other's unique interests.
Don't give in to sudden fits of temper.Beware of selfish preoccupation so you don't miss between-the-lines hints when a loved one needs you.
Do everything you can to preserve the bedroom as a quiet sanctuary of rest and refreshment. Avoid discussions of business or family problems there.
Don't place all the blame on your spouse for changes and problems in your relationship. Take half of the responsibility.
Be willing to forgive, with God's help, and continue to take reasonable, lifelong emotional risks.
Focus on what you can do in the present and in the future to improve your relationship; don't dwell on "the way you were." Don't forget that you don't treat your spouse the same way, either.
Don't mentally rehearse your spouse's shortcomings over the last day, month, year, decade, etc.
Don't dwell on the times your spouse has hurt you. Move on.
Let God show you in prayer whether you have truly forgiven someone for hurting you.
If you have been unfaithful, accept the fact that it might take a while for your spouse to forgive you and trust you again.
Don't assume your relationship is as good as it can be or even better than it was.
Realize that everyone deals with tragedy and grief differently.
Talk about what's happening in your family right now; don't bury feelings or hide them from each other.
Take as many family photos as you can afford so you can cherish them as you grow old together.
Express to your spouse how they can help you cope. (do you need hugs, word of encouragement)
Don't tolerate long periods of sexual abstinence.
Don't got to be angry-- never, ever, ever!
Share significant life events together when ever possible.
Treat each other with tenderness, even in public. It makes your spouse feel special.
Be honest about grief when it surfaces, but don't dwell too long on sad thoughts. Seek professional help for depression.
help your loved ones to forgive their enemies.
Be concerned and pray for what God wants to do beyond the confines of your own home.
Express forgiveness in tangible ways.
Praise your loved ones when they do something commendable and be specific about the reason for your admiration.
Plan activities during the holidays to create special meaning and memories for each member of the family.
Respect the fact that each person's physical, mental, and emotional clock ticks to a different beat.
Understand the strong correlation between a man's sense of fulfillment and his satisfaction with his career.
Encourage one another to take up a hobby or a project to stimulate personal growth, but don't let your own interests infringe on the family's well-being.
When a loved one wants to speak to you about something, given him or her your undivided attention, or ask to discuss the matter at another time when you can concentrate.
Care enough about your family members to keep abreast of all that's going on in their lives from day to day.
Demonstrate support for your spouse's choice of profession.
Don't attack your spouse as soon as he or she walks in the door, even if you're on edge about something.
If your spouse makes even the slightest effort to be affectionate, put your own agenda on hold and respond.
Listen carefully to the emotions and body language behind your spouse's words and show appropriate concern.
Be available. Make it EASY for your spouse to talk to you.
Whe your spouse has a gut instinct that something is wrong, don't lecture them. Take heed. Try to understand.
Pay attention to subtle changes in behavior of loved ones and address the underlying issue before it's too late.
Pitch in with chores around the house. Every member of the family should share responsibility. However, it is not your job to brow beat those who don't.
Don't allow yourself the luxury of critical thoughts about your spouse, simply because they have a different personality than you.
Don't throw away items belonging to your spouse without discussing the matter first.
Make bedtime a special bonding time with your children.
Appreciate the difference between men and women regarding the home and family.
If you want to help members of your family appreciate what they have, together help others in need-- and do a quality job.
Be a mentor or role model to someone younger than you. Spiritually submit to an older, more mature person yourself, as well.
Be thoughtful. Offer to do tasks or errands for a loved one without their having to ask.
Don't alienate those your trying to reach when they're irrational. Hostility and a demanding tone of voice will only send them fleeing further.
If your spouse makes a mistake in judgment, don't rub salt in an open wound. Keep quiet.
Make personal sacrifices in order to surprise your spouse with something special.
Do fun things together to keep the romance alive.
Assist your spouse in the small details of life, in order that they may accomplish a sought-after goal.
Understand that God made husbands and wives to complement one another with different strengths and weakness.
If someone speaks to you in a condescending tone about your faith, don't retaliate.
Recognize your own weaknesses, and listen to your spouse when they issue a warning of potential danger ahead.
Love your family members warts and all. No matter what, let them know you love them and believe in them, even when you cannot condone their bad behavior or decisions.
Don't ever resort to shouting matches or periods of cold, silent treatment. Learn how to communicate in more constructive ways.
Don't blow things out of proportion.
Receive the love of the Savior. Only then can you love others.
Develop a constant, personal relationship with the Savior, not rituals.
Before your point out your loved one's faults, look hard at your own.
REcognize the damage marital problems cause to children's emotions and encourage them to talk about it.
Don't take out on the children your frustration with your spouse.
Just because something has little value to you does not mean your spouse feels the same. Respect your differences in this area.
Don't assume your spouse doesn't care about a crisis as much as you do, simply because they show fewer feelings about it, or tries to stay busy.
A soft answer turns away anger.
Avoid the mind-set that you DESERVE to be happy. It can lead to self-indulgence.
Be careful how and when you express anger to your spouse. However, don't hold it in and let it fester, either.
Acknowledge you interdependence on other human beings.
Be careful of using personal entertainment as a way to avoid closeness with your spouse. Couples often do this at bedtime.
Don't stifle natural feelings of desire. Do whatever you can -- biblically, of course-- to fan the flame.
Don't work yourself up into a bad attitude simply because he or she is busy doing something else at the moment.
Never speak with sarcasm in your voice, especially regarding something your spouse enjoys. Show love by trying to appreciate each other's unique interests.
Don't give in to sudden fits of temper.Beware of selfish preoccupation so you don't miss between-the-lines hints when a loved one needs you.
Do everything you can to preserve the bedroom as a quiet sanctuary of rest and refreshment. Avoid discussions of business or family problems there.
Don't place all the blame on your spouse for changes and problems in your relationship. Take half of the responsibility.
Be willing to forgive, with God's help, and continue to take reasonable, lifelong emotional risks.
Focus on what you can do in the present and in the future to improve your relationship; don't dwell on "the way you were." Don't forget that you don't treat your spouse the same way, either.
Don't mentally rehearse your spouse's shortcomings over the last day, month, year, decade, etc.
Don't dwell on the times your spouse has hurt you. Move on.
Let God show you in prayer whether you have truly forgiven someone for hurting you.
If you have been unfaithful, accept the fact that it might take a while for your spouse to forgive you and trust you again.
Don't assume your relationship is as good as it can be or even better than it was.
Realize that everyone deals with tragedy and grief differently.
Talk about what's happening in your family right now; don't bury feelings or hide them from each other.
Take as many family photos as you can afford so you can cherish them as you grow old together.
Express to your spouse how they can help you cope. (do you need hugs, word of encouragement)
Don't tolerate long periods of sexual abstinence.
Don't got to be angry-- never, ever, ever!
Share significant life events together when ever possible.
Treat each other with tenderness, even in public. It makes your spouse feel special.
Be honest about grief when it surfaces, but don't dwell too long on sad thoughts. Seek professional help for depression.
help your loved ones to forgive their enemies.
Be concerned and pray for what God wants to do beyond the confines of your own home.
Express forgiveness in tangible ways.
Praise your loved ones when they do something commendable and be specific about the reason for your admiration.
Plan activities during the holidays to create special meaning and memories for each member of the family.
Respect the fact that each person's physical, mental, and emotional clock ticks to a different beat.
Understand the strong correlation between a man's sense of fulfillment and his satisfaction with his career.
Encourage one another to take up a hobby or a project to stimulate personal growth, but don't let your own interests infringe on the family's well-being.
When a loved one wants to speak to you about something, given him or her your undivided attention, or ask to discuss the matter at another time when you can concentrate.
Care enough about your family members to keep abreast of all that's going on in their lives from day to day.
Demonstrate support for your spouse's choice of profession.
Don't attack your spouse as soon as he or she walks in the door, even if you're on edge about something.
If your spouse makes even the slightest effort to be affectionate, put your own agenda on hold and respond.
Listen carefully to the emotions and body language behind your spouse's words and show appropriate concern.
Be available. Make it EASY for your spouse to talk to you.
Whe your spouse has a gut instinct that something is wrong, don't lecture them. Take heed. Try to understand.
Pay attention to subtle changes in behavior of loved ones and address the underlying issue before it's too late.
Pitch in with chores around the house. Every member of the family should share responsibility. However, it is not your job to brow beat those who don't.
Don't allow yourself the luxury of critical thoughts about your spouse, simply because they have a different personality than you.
Don't throw away items belonging to your spouse without discussing the matter first.
Make bedtime a special bonding time with your children.
Appreciate the difference between men and women regarding the home and family.
If you want to help members of your family appreciate what they have, together help others in need-- and do a quality job.
Be a mentor or role model to someone younger than you. Spiritually submit to an older, more mature person yourself, as well.
Be thoughtful. Offer to do tasks or errands for a loved one without their having to ask.
Don't alienate those your trying to reach when they're irrational. Hostility and a demanding tone of voice will only send them fleeing further.
If your spouse makes a mistake in judgment, don't rub salt in an open wound. Keep quiet.
Make personal sacrifices in order to surprise your spouse with something special.
Do fun things together to keep the romance alive.
Assist your spouse in the small details of life, in order that they may accomplish a sought-after goal.
Understand that God made husbands and wives to complement one another with different strengths and weakness.
If someone speaks to you in a condescending tone about your faith, don't retaliate.
Recognize your own weaknesses, and listen to your spouse when they issue a warning of potential danger ahead.
Love your family members warts and all. No matter what, let them know you love them and believe in them, even when you cannot condone their bad behavior or decisions.
Don't ever resort to shouting matches or periods of cold, silent treatment. Learn how to communicate in more constructive ways.
Don't blow things out of proportion.
Receive the love of the Savior. Only then can you love others.
Develop a constant, personal relationship with the Savior, not rituals.
Before your point out your loved one's faults, look hard at your own.
REcognize the damage marital problems cause to children's emotions and encourage them to talk about it.
Don't take out on the children your frustration with your spouse.
Just because something has little value to you does not mean your spouse feels the same. Respect your differences in this area.
Don't assume your spouse doesn't care about a crisis as much as you do, simply because they show fewer feelings about it, or tries to stay busy.
A soft answer turns away anger.
Avoid the mind-set that you DESERVE to be happy. It can lead to self-indulgence.
Be careful how and when you express anger to your spouse. However, don't hold it in and let it fester, either.
Acknowledge you interdependence on other human beings.