Clouds (Perspectives) [1/2]
pairing: jeti - jessica/tiffany
4,195w, oneshot
rating: PG
Clouds (Perspectives)
Part 1 of 2
"We all have people who are a part of our pasts and nothing more. They can fall into two categories: the ones you've loved and lost and the ones you've loved and chose to let go. Tiffany’s going to fall into one of those categories and the choice isn't which one, because neither is good. The choice is whether you'll let her become just a person of your past."
--- Sooyoung to Jessica; The Ballad of Jessica and Tiffany: Part III
who I was, from the start by darkaslay/daylightfireworks
***
“What makes you happy?”
Let me go, and lead a happy life without me.
But …what is life without you?
“Um, Tiffany-ssi?”
A motion made in front of her face retrieved a lost Tiffany from a memory she had unintentionally replayed in her mind. The melancholy displayed through her pair of hazel brown orbs washed off in an instant. The journalist showed a curious look towards the odd response; secretly wondering if stars really did lead the glamorous and exciting lives the public thought they had, or, were they actually the ones being led, puppets of their own lives?
He shook the thought aside. He wasn’t anyone to care anyway.
“So, are there too many things you wanna say that you don’t know where to start from?”
Tiffany automatically put her smile back on.
“Yeah, seriously. There’s so much joy to be found in life, I don’t even know where to start from. I guess I could say that my family and friends are one major source. And of course, also my job. The warmth and encouragement from my fans never fail to brighten up my days.”
What do you know as bright, when one has lost all sense of sight?
“I see. That’s very touching, I’m sure your fans would be ecstatic to hear that. Now, to wrap up this interview, how about you tell us about the details of your upcoming promotions?”
“Of course, I’d be more than delighted to.”
Her eyes flickered upward, recalling the schedule she had memorized earlier on to aid her in answering such questions. It was all part and parcel of her life now, a cycle of mechanical processes operating daily, nightly, endlessly.
You can’t see through my defenses.
***
Four years ago
California
Two girls lay sprawled on the soft summer grass, basking under the warm rays of the setting sun. The clouds in the sky were illuminated with a orange hue. So far, yet so near.
“Look, I’m holding the cloud! Squish, squish.”
“Hah right, and I’m pulling it along! See, it’s moving with my finger!”
Tiffany creased her eyebrows at the statement.
“That’s only from your own angle! You know I can’t see what you see.”
“So says the person who told me to look. I’m glad you know.”
“Hmph.”
The girl plopped her arm back on the grass in defeat, opting to return to her lazy state. Moments later, her companion sighed, though not out of any negative emotion nor thought.
“What’re you thinking Jessi?”
Many years of friendship - grueling hours spent together throughout their childhood and beyond it - had accustomed the pair to easily pick up cues on the other’s thoughts and emotions, and this sigh was no exception.
“I don’t know. What are you gonna be when we grow up?”
“Me? Uhhhh, a singer I guess? You know I’ve always liked to sing.”
A smirk crawled onto Jessica’s face, while her eyelids drooped to a close, silently reminiscing the times they would sing together, belting out their favorite ballads. Sometimes, even in screeching voices.
“Yeah, you especially like to sing for me.”
Tiffany peeked to her side to observe the seemingly arrogant expression plastered on her best friend’s features, and made a snort.
“Right. In your dreams.”
She knew the prude had really been right though, but it was too mushy to admit. Or maybe, she was just plain stubborn.
“Well, we’re all living a dream isn’t it? Maybe one day if you wake up from it, you’ll find that I was just imaginary. That I never existed.”
Tiffany shot a glare at the girl, who was now staring thoughtfully at the sky which had faded into a light purple.
“Don’t you dare disappear, or I’ll throw cucumbers at you!”
Jessica didn’t even flinch at the mention of her lifelong nemesis. Of course, not when it came out of a mouth which belonged to Tiffany. Empty threats. Instead, she chuckled teasingly.
“Alright, alright. Even as you live your dream of being a superstar, I’ll be there, okay? Happy?”
“Yeah, that’s better.”
Indeed, what could get better than that? Tiffany’s eyes subconsciously curved into two downward crescents as she smiled in ease at the assurance.
***
Her facial muscles were aching. A press conference, an overnight photoshoot, and several interviews later, the fatigued figure lay on the couch in the living room. She had thought that she was never going to live to see the end of her schedule.
Thankfully, those worries were unfounded. As her eyelids weighed down slowly, someone came crashing through the door abruptly, onto her.
“UNNIE I’M HOMEEEEEE!”, the annoying voice squealed into her left ear. Tiffany’s eyes shot wide open in surprise, transiting into anger. It was beyond frustrating to be woken from one’s slumber using such a rowdy method (whether or not on purpose). Even worse, if it was when you were just about to enter the gates of dreamland.
“Oh my goodness, you look horrible.”, the girl frowned in disapproval as she lifted her weight off Tiffany to get a look at her face.
“Yoona...”, Tiffany growled. She was beyond irritated - she was majorly enraged.
“Uhhhhaha, get some sleep kay!”
With that, the seemingly unknowing girl flashed a cheeky grin uncharacteristic of her feminine features and disappeared with the groceries in a flash.
“One of these days, I’m gonna kill her..”
In the kitchen, a sigh of relief was heaved. Thank God she reacted fast enough. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (or rather, awoken), and Yoona definitely didn’t want to become a victim of the unleashing of that fury.
“Sheesh, Fany unnie needs to keep her temper in check..”, Yoona mumbled as she proceeded to unpack the groceries in a bid to make dinner for the both of them.
Tiffany wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon, but Yoona was famished and anyway, she could always leave some over for the older girl and reheat it for her later. It was something she had gotten used to doing, ever since the unspoken responsibility had been placed onto her shoulders that one day.
Yoona stopped in pensiveness for a moment.
It’s been a while…
***
One and a half years ago
An after-party, Korea
Tiffany shook Jessica’s grip off her wrist roughly, an impulse driven by alcohol influence.
“Oh come on, Jessica. It was only a few shots. What could have gone wrong?”
“A few?”, Jessica scoffed. “How come I never knew,” Jessica raised her fingers in mock apostrophes, “a few shot glasses could fill an entire table, huh? The last time you drank that amount, you almost got scammed into taking those dubious pills they were giving you.”
“Keyword being almost. I’ve learnt, alright? I’m not as simple as they think I am.”
Tiffany flicked her long bangs to the side in annoyance, they were getting on her nerves. She momentarily remembered that the goody-goody mushroom hairstyle had been much more comfortable. She had grown out her hair ever since the time she got accepted into the entertainment company, knowing that it would be necessary to enhance her appearance.
No, Tiffany, remember what they taught you. Style over comfort.
After being put through a year of strenuous training classes to hone her skills as a performer, she had finally gotten a chance to display her talents and had proven herself worthy - gaining immense popularity barely weeks after she released her first album.
She deserved every bit of it.
“It’s my party, I’ll do what I want.”
Tiffany stormed out of the door, not even bothering to bid goodbye before exiting the restroom which Jessica had dragged her into.
Jessica was rarely one to express her feelings outright, but it was starkly the opposite when it came to her loved ones. The episode with Tiffany had melted her icy demeanor into tears which overflowed; the source of sorrow being her broken heart.
Tiffany was right. She wasn’t as simple as they thought she was.
She wasn’t even the simple and loving Tiffany Jessica had known anymore. Empty threats? Jessica scoffed at the untimely thought of having to really pay attention if the girl spoke about throwing cucumbers at herself in future.
After she managed to reign control over her tears, she stepped out and turned back to whisper to the empty room.
“Goodbye, Tiffany.”
***
One and a half years ago
Tiffany, Jessica & Yoona’s apartment
“Sica unnie, what are you doing?”, Yoona asked, more in bewilderment rather than curiosity at the sight before her.
Clothes were being transferred from the cupboard to the bed, with a luggage bag lying wide open, void of content.
Yoona knew better though. If she didn’t put a stop to Jessica’s actions, the luggage bag would soon be filled.
“Where are you going? What happened?”
Jessica clenched her teeth.
“I’m going back to where I belong, which is not here. I’m done with this business.”
“What? Why? Can’t we talk things out? Does Fany unnie know?”
Jessica paused for a brief moment, her heart slightly clenching at the name. She wordlessly continued, ignoring the question in fear that her tears would spill and reveal the façade she had put up to deal with this hardship. She had to keep it up no matter what.
Yoona frowned. Judging from the silence to the particular question, she figured that Tiffany was probably involved.
Unsure of any other alternative she could carry out, she left the room and pulled out her mobile phone from her pocket, dialing a number quickly.
Barely 45 minutes later, a Tiffany reeking of alcohol stumbled hastily into the house.
“Jessica!”
Said girl’s ears perked up at the voice. Shouldn’t have taken her time to pack, she inwardly regretted.
As she haphazardly stuffed the remaining clothes into the bag, she gave it one final zip and rushed out into the living room and towards the door. Before she could reach the doorknob, a hand grabbed onto her wrist and yanked her back.
“Ah! That hurt!”
“Why are you leaving? Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it. Just that, I was kind of irritable because of the drinks. I’m sorry, okay?”
Jessica clenched her fists, a look of nonchalance masking her face.
“So I’m irritating you now? C’mon, Tiffany. I’m such a hindrance to you nowadays. I’m sick of asking you to take care of yourself when you just want to wreck your health upside down. I’m sick of trying to keep you away from those disgusting old men when you don’t know that you’re throwing yourself at them. I’m sick of seeing you blinded by all that fame, and I don’t want to be the only one worrying because it makes no difference, not anymore.”
A sense of dread crept over Tiffany, but it was soon replaced with indignation.
“You’re saying that I’m blind? Hey, I’m just working for my own future alright. Look at those successful stars out there, which one of them doesn’t do what I do? If I want to become anything close to their like, it’s mandatory that I do this. Can’t you just understand me?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I once understood you, but I don’t anymore. And I’m tired. Sick and tired of it. Why don’t you… just…”
Jessica struggled to get the words out. She inhaled sharply.
“Let me go, and lead a happy life without me.”
With that, Jessica left. Tiffany stood dumbfounded, unable to muster the strength to chase after her. Something in her probed her to do so, telling her that she would regret it if she didn’t. Yet, another side held her back and told her that what she was doing was justified. She deserved every bit of it …right?
***
Yoona finished her share of dinner and headed over to the sofa to check on Tiffany. There was a frown on the sleeping girl’s face, a contrast to the eye-smiles she presented when she was under the scrutiny of the public eye. Yoona remembered the first time they met, she had seen Tiffany’s smile and felt stricken by the beauty of it.
She then remembered the period when she had not gotten to see it at all, and the period following that when she finally saw those smiles resurface, only to find that they were filled with emptiness.
Tiffany was forcing herself, she knew it. But what else could she do as a mere friend, paling severely in comparison to a lifelong companion?
She figured that if she couldn’t take care of Tiffany emotionally, then physically would had to suffice. Placing a blanket over the girl, she took one last look at her soulless shell of a friend and retreated to her own room.
***
Here's the next and last part
4,195w, oneshot
rating: PG
Clouds (Perspectives)
Part 1 of 2
"We all have people who are a part of our pasts and nothing more. They can fall into two categories: the ones you've loved and lost and the ones you've loved and chose to let go. Tiffany’s going to fall into one of those categories and the choice isn't which one, because neither is good. The choice is whether you'll let her become just a person of your past."
--- Sooyoung to Jessica; The Ballad of Jessica and Tiffany: Part III
who I was, from the start by darkaslay/daylightfireworks
***
“What makes you happy?”
Let me go, and lead a happy life without me.
But …what is life without you?
“Um, Tiffany-ssi?”
A motion made in front of her face retrieved a lost Tiffany from a memory she had unintentionally replayed in her mind. The melancholy displayed through her pair of hazel brown orbs washed off in an instant. The journalist showed a curious look towards the odd response; secretly wondering if stars really did lead the glamorous and exciting lives the public thought they had, or, were they actually the ones being led, puppets of their own lives?
He shook the thought aside. He wasn’t anyone to care anyway.
“So, are there too many things you wanna say that you don’t know where to start from?”
Tiffany automatically put her smile back on.
“Yeah, seriously. There’s so much joy to be found in life, I don’t even know where to start from. I guess I could say that my family and friends are one major source. And of course, also my job. The warmth and encouragement from my fans never fail to brighten up my days.”
What do you know as bright, when one has lost all sense of sight?
“I see. That’s very touching, I’m sure your fans would be ecstatic to hear that. Now, to wrap up this interview, how about you tell us about the details of your upcoming promotions?”
“Of course, I’d be more than delighted to.”
Her eyes flickered upward, recalling the schedule she had memorized earlier on to aid her in answering such questions. It was all part and parcel of her life now, a cycle of mechanical processes operating daily, nightly, endlessly.
You can’t see through my defenses.
***
Four years ago
California
Two girls lay sprawled on the soft summer grass, basking under the warm rays of the setting sun. The clouds in the sky were illuminated with a orange hue. So far, yet so near.
“Look, I’m holding the cloud! Squish, squish.”
“Hah right, and I’m pulling it along! See, it’s moving with my finger!”
Tiffany creased her eyebrows at the statement.
“That’s only from your own angle! You know I can’t see what you see.”
“So says the person who told me to look. I’m glad you know.”
“Hmph.”
The girl plopped her arm back on the grass in defeat, opting to return to her lazy state. Moments later, her companion sighed, though not out of any negative emotion nor thought.
“What’re you thinking Jessi?”
Many years of friendship - grueling hours spent together throughout their childhood and beyond it - had accustomed the pair to easily pick up cues on the other’s thoughts and emotions, and this sigh was no exception.
“I don’t know. What are you gonna be when we grow up?”
“Me? Uhhhh, a singer I guess? You know I’ve always liked to sing.”
A smirk crawled onto Jessica’s face, while her eyelids drooped to a close, silently reminiscing the times they would sing together, belting out their favorite ballads. Sometimes, even in screeching voices.
“Yeah, you especially like to sing for me.”
Tiffany peeked to her side to observe the seemingly arrogant expression plastered on her best friend’s features, and made a snort.
“Right. In your dreams.”
She knew the prude had really been right though, but it was too mushy to admit. Or maybe, she was just plain stubborn.
“Well, we’re all living a dream isn’t it? Maybe one day if you wake up from it, you’ll find that I was just imaginary. That I never existed.”
Tiffany shot a glare at the girl, who was now staring thoughtfully at the sky which had faded into a light purple.
“Don’t you dare disappear, or I’ll throw cucumbers at you!”
Jessica didn’t even flinch at the mention of her lifelong nemesis. Of course, not when it came out of a mouth which belonged to Tiffany. Empty threats. Instead, she chuckled teasingly.
“Alright, alright. Even as you live your dream of being a superstar, I’ll be there, okay? Happy?”
“Yeah, that’s better.”
Indeed, what could get better than that? Tiffany’s eyes subconsciously curved into two downward crescents as she smiled in ease at the assurance.
***
Her facial muscles were aching. A press conference, an overnight photoshoot, and several interviews later, the fatigued figure lay on the couch in the living room. She had thought that she was never going to live to see the end of her schedule.
Thankfully, those worries were unfounded. As her eyelids weighed down slowly, someone came crashing through the door abruptly, onto her.
“UNNIE I’M HOMEEEEEE!”, the annoying voice squealed into her left ear. Tiffany’s eyes shot wide open in surprise, transiting into anger. It was beyond frustrating to be woken from one’s slumber using such a rowdy method (whether or not on purpose). Even worse, if it was when you were just about to enter the gates of dreamland.
“Oh my goodness, you look horrible.”, the girl frowned in disapproval as she lifted her weight off Tiffany to get a look at her face.
“Yoona...”, Tiffany growled. She was beyond irritated - she was majorly enraged.
“Uhhhhaha, get some sleep kay!”
With that, the seemingly unknowing girl flashed a cheeky grin uncharacteristic of her feminine features and disappeared with the groceries in a flash.
“One of these days, I’m gonna kill her..”
In the kitchen, a sigh of relief was heaved. Thank God she reacted fast enough. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (or rather, awoken), and Yoona definitely didn’t want to become a victim of the unleashing of that fury.
“Sheesh, Fany unnie needs to keep her temper in check..”, Yoona mumbled as she proceeded to unpack the groceries in a bid to make dinner for the both of them.
Tiffany wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon, but Yoona was famished and anyway, she could always leave some over for the older girl and reheat it for her later. It was something she had gotten used to doing, ever since the unspoken responsibility had been placed onto her shoulders that one day.
Yoona stopped in pensiveness for a moment.
It’s been a while…
***
One and a half years ago
An after-party, Korea
Tiffany shook Jessica’s grip off her wrist roughly, an impulse driven by alcohol influence.
“Oh come on, Jessica. It was only a few shots. What could have gone wrong?”
“A few?”, Jessica scoffed. “How come I never knew,” Jessica raised her fingers in mock apostrophes, “a few shot glasses could fill an entire table, huh? The last time you drank that amount, you almost got scammed into taking those dubious pills they were giving you.”
“Keyword being almost. I’ve learnt, alright? I’m not as simple as they think I am.”
Tiffany flicked her long bangs to the side in annoyance, they were getting on her nerves. She momentarily remembered that the goody-goody mushroom hairstyle had been much more comfortable. She had grown out her hair ever since the time she got accepted into the entertainment company, knowing that it would be necessary to enhance her appearance.
No, Tiffany, remember what they taught you. Style over comfort.
After being put through a year of strenuous training classes to hone her skills as a performer, she had finally gotten a chance to display her talents and had proven herself worthy - gaining immense popularity barely weeks after she released her first album.
She deserved every bit of it.
“It’s my party, I’ll do what I want.”
Tiffany stormed out of the door, not even bothering to bid goodbye before exiting the restroom which Jessica had dragged her into.
Jessica was rarely one to express her feelings outright, but it was starkly the opposite when it came to her loved ones. The episode with Tiffany had melted her icy demeanor into tears which overflowed; the source of sorrow being her broken heart.
Tiffany was right. She wasn’t as simple as they thought she was.
She wasn’t even the simple and loving Tiffany Jessica had known anymore. Empty threats? Jessica scoffed at the untimely thought of having to really pay attention if the girl spoke about throwing cucumbers at herself in future.
After she managed to reign control over her tears, she stepped out and turned back to whisper to the empty room.
“Goodbye, Tiffany.”
***
One and a half years ago
Tiffany, Jessica & Yoona’s apartment
“Sica unnie, what are you doing?”, Yoona asked, more in bewilderment rather than curiosity at the sight before her.
Clothes were being transferred from the cupboard to the bed, with a luggage bag lying wide open, void of content.
Yoona knew better though. If she didn’t put a stop to Jessica’s actions, the luggage bag would soon be filled.
“Where are you going? What happened?”
Jessica clenched her teeth.
“I’m going back to where I belong, which is not here. I’m done with this business.”
“What? Why? Can’t we talk things out? Does Fany unnie know?”
Jessica paused for a brief moment, her heart slightly clenching at the name. She wordlessly continued, ignoring the question in fear that her tears would spill and reveal the façade she had put up to deal with this hardship. She had to keep it up no matter what.
Yoona frowned. Judging from the silence to the particular question, she figured that Tiffany was probably involved.
Unsure of any other alternative she could carry out, she left the room and pulled out her mobile phone from her pocket, dialing a number quickly.
Barely 45 minutes later, a Tiffany reeking of alcohol stumbled hastily into the house.
“Jessica!”
Said girl’s ears perked up at the voice. Shouldn’t have taken her time to pack, she inwardly regretted.
As she haphazardly stuffed the remaining clothes into the bag, she gave it one final zip and rushed out into the living room and towards the door. Before she could reach the doorknob, a hand grabbed onto her wrist and yanked her back.
“Ah! That hurt!”
“Why are you leaving? Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it. Just that, I was kind of irritable because of the drinks. I’m sorry, okay?”
Jessica clenched her fists, a look of nonchalance masking her face.
“So I’m irritating you now? C’mon, Tiffany. I’m such a hindrance to you nowadays. I’m sick of asking you to take care of yourself when you just want to wreck your health upside down. I’m sick of trying to keep you away from those disgusting old men when you don’t know that you’re throwing yourself at them. I’m sick of seeing you blinded by all that fame, and I don’t want to be the only one worrying because it makes no difference, not anymore.”
A sense of dread crept over Tiffany, but it was soon replaced with indignation.
“You’re saying that I’m blind? Hey, I’m just working for my own future alright. Look at those successful stars out there, which one of them doesn’t do what I do? If I want to become anything close to their like, it’s mandatory that I do this. Can’t you just understand me?”
“Sorry, I can’t. I once understood you, but I don’t anymore. And I’m tired. Sick and tired of it. Why don’t you… just…”
Jessica struggled to get the words out. She inhaled sharply.
“Let me go, and lead a happy life without me.”
With that, Jessica left. Tiffany stood dumbfounded, unable to muster the strength to chase after her. Something in her probed her to do so, telling her that she would regret it if she didn’t. Yet, another side held her back and told her that what she was doing was justified. She deserved every bit of it …right?
***
Yoona finished her share of dinner and headed over to the sofa to check on Tiffany. There was a frown on the sleeping girl’s face, a contrast to the eye-smiles she presented when she was under the scrutiny of the public eye. Yoona remembered the first time they met, she had seen Tiffany’s smile and felt stricken by the beauty of it.
She then remembered the period when she had not gotten to see it at all, and the period following that when she finally saw those smiles resurface, only to find that they were filled with emptiness.
Tiffany was forcing herself, she knew it. But what else could she do as a mere friend, paling severely in comparison to a lifelong companion?
She figured that if she couldn’t take care of Tiffany emotionally, then physically would had to suffice. Placing a blanket over the girl, she took one last look at her soulless shell of a friend and retreated to her own room.
***
Here's the next and last part