Numbers
Title: Numbers.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jessica/Tiffany
We are all nothing but numbers in this society.
No matter where we go or what we're like on the inside.
Keep your numbers average and you're safe. Grades, money, weight.
National ID number. Employee ID number. College registration number.
I'm probably nothing but a number to her as well.
Her.
Tiffany.
The number one in my heart.
Will I ever be the number one in her heart as well?
"Jessi! Are you even listening to me?" A loud shriek and a light slap on her arm brought her back to reality.
"I'm sorry, Tiff. What were you saying?" Jessica smiled at the pouting girl sitting in front of her.
They were having coffee after a busy day at college. Being best friends since high school it was only natural that they'd spend such amount of time together even at their 3rd year of college.
"Geez what's wrong with you? Why do you always space out like that? I was telling you about Wooyoung from Business Economics class! He asked me out this morning. What do you thing I should do Jessi?" Tiffany excitedly grabbed Jessica's free hand causing the latter to almost spill her coffee.
Tiffany's words and gleeful tone pained Jessica's heart. Tiffany'd learned through the years that Jessica's opinion on people were very important. If Jessica said she shouldn't go out with him, she wouldn't.
Ever since high school it's always been like this. Tiffany would be asked out by guys and she'd ask Jessica for her opinion, unaware of Jessica's feelings towards her and thus hurting her.
The trust Tiffany had in Jessica was not based solely on their friendship. Jessica was an incredibly intelligent person with an special love for numbers.
"I... I think Wooyoung seems like a nice guy. Just be careful, Tiff." Jessica said and took a sip of her coffee. It's bitterness distracting her for a split of a second from reality. As bitter as a 60% cacao chocolate.
"I know, Jessi~" Tiffany said as she stood up from her chair and engulfed Jessica in a tight hug . "I'm not sure if it'll work out... but even if things turn out bad you'll be there for me, right? You're my number one friend!"
Number one. Friend.
"Of course I will. Always."
That's how Jessica Jung lived her life.
Getting asked out by many but watching the only one she'd say yes to going out with others; and when it didn't work out she'd come back to Jessica to get her heart fixed.
*
"Wooyoung is really nice and funny! I think he might be the one for me, Jessi!"
And so she found her number one?
It was the first thing Tiffany said to Jessica on their way to class.
Not even a 'good morning' or a 'how are you today?' huh?
"Good to know, Tiff. It's been a month already huh... This one is lasting a lot longer than the others." Jessica playfully elbowed and teased her friend.
"I'm telling you, he's the one! What about you? Why do you always say no to the guys who ask you out? Some of them look pretty decent."
Jessica knew the question would come back to haunt her again. What excuse could she give this time?
"...None of them is good enough for me. I'm looking for my number one. Besides how can I date someone when I have to take care of you?"
"Yah. I'm a grown woman who can take care of herself. Plus now that I have Wooyoung I'm pretty sure there will be no heartbreak this time!" Tiffany dorkly said throwing her fist up in the air with confidence.
"Ha ha... We'll see about that."
She doesn't need me anymore.
*
"Hello?"
"Jessi~ Where are you? How come you don't come to my place anymore so we can go to class together?" Tiffany said in a whiny voice over the phone; Jessica was sure she was pouting and frowning her eyebrows.
"Sorry. I've been busy, Tiff. It's been getting harder to wake up that early to go to your place when it's so cold." A lie.
Jessica had been avoiding Tiffany for a week now. Sure it was painful not to be able to talk to her, but it was for the best.
She could still see the love of her life in class; she even saw Tiffany stealing glances at her from time to time.
Tiffany was happy and nothing else mattered.
"I'll go to your place then! We don't even meet in class since you're always the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. I miss talking to you..."
Silence. A sigh escaped her mouth before she spoke again.
"Actually I'm busy because I got a boyfriend. I'm sorry, Tiff." Another lie.
"YOU DID?!" Jessica almost dropped her phone because of Tiffany's sudden outburst
"Who? Who who who who who?! Why didn't you tell me, Jessica Jung?! So you finally found your number one..."
"...It's.. uh... Yuri. Sorry." Three lies. Jessica's on a roll!
"Yuri..? Wasn't Yuri that friend you haven't spoken to in God knows how long? Moreover isn't Yuri a GIRL?" Tiffany arched one eyebrow in confusion.
"Oh..." mental slap! "Psh yeah. You know, I ran into her on the market a few days ago and we kind of hit it off so... Yeah." Four. At this rate would she even be able to stop?
She gave a nervous laugh. Was Tiffany gonna buy that excuse?
"...I see... Still, you could've told me. We're best friends, right? I don't mind if you're dating a girl."
"I'm sorry."
I am sorry.
The only three words Jessica could mutter at the moment.
Three words that Jessica was muttering for the wrong reasons.
She wasn't sorry for keeping a distance from Tiffany.
She wasn't really sorry for lying to Tiffany.
She was sorry for loving Tiffany as more than a friend so much for so long it was becoming unbearable being around her.
"We should go on a double date! Me and Woo and you and Yuri! That way I can introduce him to you and meet Yuri at the same time!"
That's how they planned the double date night. Well, that's how Tiffany planned the double date night and forced the idea upon Jessica who could do nothing but oblige to the brunette's suggestions.
The blonde was hesitating in accepting the idea as; first of all Yuri and her are NOT together. In fact they haven't talked to each other in two years and as far as she knows, Yuri already has a girlfriend! Second, Jessica wasn't exactly excited to see Tiffany lovingly interacting with someone who wasn't her.
*
"Hello? Yuri?" Jessica called her old friend. She had to do this.
"This is Yoona, Yuri's girlfriend. She's in the shower right now; do you want to leave a message?" A sweet melodious voice said on the phone freezing Jessica's brain for a second.
"Hello there. This is Jessica Jung, Yuri's old friend... Could you ask her to come to my place as soon as possible? If possible I'd like you to come as well."
"Uhh... okay I think. We'll be there as soon as possible I guess..."
*
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! Nuh-uh. No way. Never. Not in this lifetime."
Yuri and Yoona had gone to Jessica's place later that night. They were worried about her as she never really talked to Yuri after they got into different universities so the sudden request was quite strange.
"Please, Yuri. I'm begging you!" Jessica bowed 90° actually pleading her friend for the unreasonable favor.
Yuri looked at her friend with understanding in her heart but she couldn't just pretend to date one of her old best friends. She had Yoona now. Plus, how weird was it to pretend to be dating the one girl she could never picture herself with?
"Look Sica, I wish I could help. If I wasn't dating Yoong then I would but I have to think about he-"
"Do it." Yoona cut Yuri off.
Yuri was wide eyed when she turned to take a look at her girlfriend who was sitting with her legs crossed on a chair not too far from the other two. A distant look on her face as she played with the ice in the glass that used to have apple juice aside from the ice cubes.
"Are you serious?" Yuri approached the doe-eyed girl who nodded with a small smile on her face.
"Thank you Goddess Yoona! I promise you holding hands and hugging will be the only physical contact we'll have! If she dares try kissing or touching me inappropriately I'll make sure she regrets it deeply!"
Yoona chuckled. In truth she did feel a hint of jealousy in her heart but she also trusted Yuri wouldn't cheat on her.
"But... ok. I swear I won't try anything with that woman. She's probably Darth Vader's lost daughter who inherited all his evilness! Pure evil! Nasty nasty soul!" Yuri held Yoona's hands and looked in her eyes whist the other girl just nodded and smiled at her dorky girlfriend.
"Yah! I'm right here!"
" When we were kids she was ugly. Soooo ugly. I don't think I could even try making a move on her because of all the memories."
"Are you really insulting me in my own place? And for your information I was a beautiful child!"
"She was totally evil-looking, Yoong! When I met her in pre-school she had no friends except for this one cat she played with during lunch."
"Tsk. I just kept a serious face so stupid kids wouldn't bother me! Stupid kids like you who had to follow me everywhere!"
"Sssshhh I followed you because you were the only kid who'd play Pokémon with me so shut up. Anyway you haven't called me in two years and suddenly this? I always thought you would major in Math or something and turn into a cat lady but look at you falling for a girl and majoring in Architecture." Yuri said with a smirk on her face. Fingers intervened with Yoona's and both of them eyed Jessica blushing.
"Shut up, Yul. You haven't changed a bit... still the same annoying brat." Jessica said and turned her back at the two. She'd ordered food for them but totally forgot about it after talking to Yuri for the first time in so long.
"Correction. I grew really tall while you're still a shorty." Yuri guided Yoona to the dinner table and offered her a plate filled with food as Jessica scoffed.
"I'm glad you found your number one, Yuri.." Jessica softly said with a smile on her face.
Yuri knew how much numbers meant to Jessica. To her very few people actually meant more than just numbers. She always referred to the person one fell for as 'number one'.
"Thanks. Who knew you'd actually find someone like that too. Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" Yuri suggested as they ate.
Before Jessica could answer, Yoona scoffed and lightly hit Yuri's arm.
"Says the girl who kept stalking me for 3 months before actually talking to me. What did you say that day again? 'H-hey... Y-you are so pretty. I have a dog. Do you like ma?'"
Jessica and Yoona were laughing like crazy while Yuri just kept her gaze down trying to hide her flushed cheeks. It was true it took a while for her to finally get the courage to talk to Yoona but in the end Yoona did fall for her so her method worked quite well.
"Gosh Sica. Ok. I'm gonna add two conditions on this date night thing. One: Yoona comes along. She'll sit on another table but she has to go; Two: You have to tell this girl how you feel by the end of the night and no more avoiding her!"
Jessica sighed agreeing to the deal. It was all for the best anyway. After telling Tiffany how she felt Tiffany herself would probably start avoiding her.
*
Jessica and Yuri were already at the restaurant where they'd be having dinner before heading to catch a movie at the cinema. Yoona was sitting at the bar and amusingly eyed them as she pretended to wait for a friend.
"So.. when it's about this Tiffany girl you're never late, huh? Whenever we went out shopping during junior high you'd arrive at least 30 minutes late..."
"Shh who cares. She's here. Stop looking at Yoona!" Jessica whispered to Yuri who kept pouting with a puppy face on looking at Yoona.
"Jessi!" Tiffany squealed and gave Jessica a tight hug. "This is Wooyoung. Woo, this is my best friend Jessi." She introduced them, who only slightly bowed at each other, smiling.
"This is Yuri. Yuri, this is Tiffany."
Yuri eyed Tiffany curiously. She was indeed pretty and seemed to be quite an amusing person.
No wonder Sica fell for her.
The dinner went well as the four kept a steady interesting conversation with Yuri happily sharing some of Jessica's childhood secrets and Tiffany gladly listening to it.
Wooyoung didn't talk much but made sure not to look too bored and Jessica was too embarrassed over Yuri's stories to do anything but eat her food.
As Jessica excused herself to go to the restroom Tiffany offered to tag along, leaving Yuri and Wooyoung in an awkward conversation.
"Jessi... I have to tell you something." Tiffany said as she fixed her makeup.
"What is it, Tiff?"
"I think... Yuri is cheating on you. I mean, she keeps looking at this girl at the bar with such a smile on her face it's hard not to notice."
Tiffany's words shocked Jessica in a way that the latter smudged the lipstick she was applying.
"Uh... Don't worry, Tiff. Yuri would never cheat..." on Yoona, she mentally continued her sentence.
"I'm worried about you, Jessi! I know what I saw and I don't want you to get hurt. I like you too much to see you broken..."
"Relax Tiff. I got this. Come on, let's enjoy the night." It's our last one as friends after all. Jessica pulled her friend towards the exit but what they saw as she opened the door froze them on the spot.
Wooyoung was being slapped by an unknown girl with Yuri still sitting in front of him with wide eyes and a confused look on her face.
"You're cheating on me? Again?" The girl yelled at Wooyoung, who now was standing up trying to take the girl to a quieter place but she seemed to be resisting.
"Soo... I can explain... it's not-"
"Explain what?" Tiffany asked as she approached the table holding Jessica's hand.
"Yes, explain what?" Yuri asked trying to suppress an evil grin.
Wooyoung looked weirdly at Yuri. What the hell does she have to do with this?
"Tiffany... Sooyoung... I'm sorry." Wooyoung muttered. "I love you both so much..."
A loud sound echoed in the room as Jessica stepped in front of Tiffany who had tears brimming on her eyes and slapped Wooyoung as hard as she could.
"When you love someone you don't cheat... You don't deserve her. Tiffany is an amazing person with a great personality. She can pull you up from the deepest holes just by flashing her eye smile and no matter what happens she'll stick to her beliefs."
Jessica's words touched Tiffany's heart.
After very heartbreak. After every mistake Tiffany makes Jessica is the one beside her. Jessica is the amazing person.
"And you just lost her."
Jessica gripped Tiffany's hand and ran out of the restaurant without looking back leaving Yuri and Yoona behind with the still fighting couple. They ran for four blocks finally reaching the park where Jessica's car was parked in front of.
Both girls were recovering their breath as Jessica decided to break the silence.
"I'm sorry." Again with the sorry.
"For what?" Tiffany was confused. Jessica just stood up for her in a way no one else ever had done before and now was saying sorry?
"I'm sorry for saying those things to Wooyoung. I was just really angry and the words just slipped out of my mouth. I meant every word though."
Tiffany chuckled. Jessica always worried about Tiffany before anything and it always made her smile how caring her friend could be.
"More importantly what about Yuri? You dragged me here but she stayed back..."
"Pssh leave her. She always finds a way out on her own." Jessica said as she got in the car. "Do you want me to drop you off?"
"But... Yuri... Gosh you're being a terrible girlfriend here, Jessi!" Tiffany was still confused about why would Jessica just leave her girlfriend behind.
Jessica sighed. She had to fulfill her part of the deal. "Just... get in the car and I'll explain everything."
Tiffany hesitantly did as Jessica asked her to. The ride was quiet as Jessica still had to organize her thoughts in a easy way to explain things to Tiffany, who kept stealing glances at Jessica every two seconds waiting for her to speak up.
They were already two blocks away from Tiffany's dorm when Jessica spoke.
"Tiff... Promise me you won't get mad."
"I could never get mad at you Jessi" Concern obvious in her tone.
"Well... Yuri... she's not my girlfriend. We're just old friends and that girl you saw at the bar flirting with Yuri is her actual girlfriend."
"Wait. So you lied to me?? Why?" Tiffany was surprised and kind of upset. She had always assumed there were no secrets nor lies between them.
"I'm sorry." Jessica said almost inaudibly as she parked the car in front of Tiffany's dorm.
"Listen... after I say this you'll probably hate me and we'll probably not be friends anymore so promise me you'll look after yourself. Don't forget to start your final project for this semester and remember to buy vegetables on Tuesdays 'cause that's when they restock. Oh an-"
"Just say it." Tiffany put a finger in front of Jessica's lips to stop her rambling and motioned her to continue with whatever she had to say.
Jessica hesitated a bit opening and closing her mouth repeatedly before deciding it was best to look at Tiffany straight in the eye so she could convey her feelings as much as possible.
"You know... how people are nothing but numbers? To me at least."
"Of course I know. You used to call me by my registration number for the first two weeks! I had to insist that my name wasn't 4103396 but Tiffany Hwang." Tiffany answered with a light chuckle as she thought about the old times.
"Sorry about that. Well... following that logic I never bothered to actually get to know people as they were nothing but numbers in a mass full of them. All the same. The few people I consider more than numbers are my family, Yuri, Yoona and you, Tiff."
"You were the ones who taught me it doesn't matter if we're just numbers in the eyes of society as long as we're not in the eyes of the people we care about. You are my number one, Tiffany Hwang. You are the person I love the most in the world."
"W-what are you saying, Jessi?"
Tiffany was too shocked to react. She could feel tears threatening to slide down her cheeks as she kept her gaze at the girl sitting next to her with wide eyes.
"Jessi... I-"
"It's ok, Tiff. I was the happiest person in the world for the past seven years just because you were there beside me. During second year of high school I realised how much you meant to me and ever since then you were my Sun. I just couldn't live without you. It would be selfish of me to want more than that."
Jessica turned her face away from Tiffany to clean her face that also had tears running down.
"Maybe I'm getting too close and burning myself in your heat. I'll keep my distance from now, don't worry... I hope you can find the one you love the most too."
Jessica didn't have the courage to look up as she just waited for Tiffany to get out of the car. When the latter did so without saying anything she just headed to her own place to get some alone time ignoring every phone call and knock on her door. Bottles of beer as her new best friends.
*
It's been a week after the confession and Jessica was skipping classes and ignoring all calls and messages apart from the ones Yuri sent her asking if she was ok. They actually got back being good friends after that night.
She wasn't a mess like rejected people are portrayed in movies. She properly cleaned the apartment and showered every day. She cooked whenever she felt like it and ordered takeout when she didn't. Everything was fine or she wanted to think so.
Jessica actually intended to only skip two or three days but ended up staying home for the whole week. Considering the final exams were close that was really a stupid idea and she couldn't help but slightly regretting confessing to Tiffany deep in her heart.
No. It was for the best. I can move on now.
It was raining and Jessica wanted to make a lasagna but she'd ran out of tomato sauce. She had no choice but leave the comfort of her place and run to the nearby .
As she was leaving the building a figure standing under the rain wearing completely soaked clothes caught her attention. The person was just staring at the ground letting the heavy droplets of the rain consume her whole.
"Hey... are you ok? Do you need an umbrella? I can lend y-" Jessica was at a loss of words when the person lifted her head and looked up at Jessica. Even if she was wearing a hoodie red eyes were visible as Jessica took a step forward immediately recognizing the person.
"Tiffany! What the hell? Come here!" Jessica pulled Tiffany out of the rain and brought her up to her apartment.
"Here are some clothes and a towel. Take those wet clothes out before you catch a cold!" Jessica pushed Tiffany into the bathroom and didn't leave until she heard the sound of the shower.
What is she doing here? Did I make her hate me so much? Maybe she came to kill me...
Jessica kept thinking of all possible reasons for Tiffany to show up at her door like that as she made a cup of hot chocolate waiting for the latter to get out of shower.
When Tiffany stepped out of the bathroom Jessica could still see the red eyes but overall she looked better without the wet clothes.
"Drink this." Jessica handed Tiffany the hot chocolate cup and motioned her to sit on the couch beside her.
"Why..." Tiffany whispered.
"Tiffany I'm so-"
"Stop saying you're sorry! I'm the one who should say sorry! You've loved me for so long and I was too busy being selfish to notice that." Tiffany yelled standing up in front of a scared Jessica.
"I'm sorry, Jessi. I've hurt you over and over again for the past six years and all you did was smile and stand by my side during good and bad times." Tiffany was sobbing.
"You do-"
"Let me finish!" Tiffany cut Jessica off again. "I'm not sure how I feel about you. I love you in a way but I'm not sure if it's the same way you love me and i don't know how to proceed with it. I'm not sure if this could even work but if it's you I'm more than willing to try."
"What..."
"It's painful being without you, Jessi. So I stood up in front of your building crying like a crazy person every day for the past 4 days gathering the courage to ring your doorbell and tell you there is not Tiff without Jessi. Tell you that more than worrying whether this could work I worry that I may be losing the one I love the most. So please Jessi, instead of saying you're sorry just tell me you're willing to take this risk with me. I'm scared. But it's a good feeling because you'll be there with me."
"Will you go out with me, Jessica Jung?"
Jessica was frozen. There were so many feelings she couldn't speak so she simply nodded. Tears once again running down both of their faces as they engulfed each other in a tight embrace.
"I found it, Jessi. You are my number one."
*
"Why number one though? Wouldn't number eight be more appropriate since it's like the infinite symbol? Forever love!" Tiffany asked as she snuggled deeper into Jessica's embrace.
"Number one is the first natural number after zero. The first number that means something after nothing and comes before two. Two is too much. And eight is just eight, not an infinite symbol. Ha ha completely different things, Tiff."
People are nothing but numbers in society.
That's the cruel truth.
But it doesn't matter what you are to society.
The only thing that matters is that you are someone. Someone to that one person you would give everything up for. Someone to your number one.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jessica/Tiffany
We are all nothing but numbers in this society.
No matter where we go or what we're like on the inside.
Keep your numbers average and you're safe. Grades, money, weight.
National ID number. Employee ID number. College registration number.
I'm probably nothing but a number to her as well.
Her.
Tiffany.
The number one in my heart.
Will I ever be the number one in her heart as well?
"Jessi! Are you even listening to me?" A loud shriek and a light slap on her arm brought her back to reality.
"I'm sorry, Tiff. What were you saying?" Jessica smiled at the pouting girl sitting in front of her.
They were having coffee after a busy day at college. Being best friends since high school it was only natural that they'd spend such amount of time together even at their 3rd year of college.
"Geez what's wrong with you? Why do you always space out like that? I was telling you about Wooyoung from Business Economics class! He asked me out this morning. What do you thing I should do Jessi?" Tiffany excitedly grabbed Jessica's free hand causing the latter to almost spill her coffee.
Tiffany's words and gleeful tone pained Jessica's heart. Tiffany'd learned through the years that Jessica's opinion on people were very important. If Jessica said she shouldn't go out with him, she wouldn't.
Ever since high school it's always been like this. Tiffany would be asked out by guys and she'd ask Jessica for her opinion, unaware of Jessica's feelings towards her and thus hurting her.
The trust Tiffany had in Jessica was not based solely on their friendship. Jessica was an incredibly intelligent person with an special love for numbers.
"I... I think Wooyoung seems like a nice guy. Just be careful, Tiff." Jessica said and took a sip of her coffee. It's bitterness distracting her for a split of a second from reality. As bitter as a 60% cacao chocolate.
"I know, Jessi~" Tiffany said as she stood up from her chair and engulfed Jessica in a tight hug . "I'm not sure if it'll work out... but even if things turn out bad you'll be there for me, right? You're my number one friend!"
Number one. Friend.
"Of course I will. Always."
That's how Jessica Jung lived her life.
Getting asked out by many but watching the only one she'd say yes to going out with others; and when it didn't work out she'd come back to Jessica to get her heart fixed.
*
"Wooyoung is really nice and funny! I think he might be the one for me, Jessi!"
And so she found her number one?
It was the first thing Tiffany said to Jessica on their way to class.
Not even a 'good morning' or a 'how are you today?' huh?
"Good to know, Tiff. It's been a month already huh... This one is lasting a lot longer than the others." Jessica playfully elbowed and teased her friend.
"I'm telling you, he's the one! What about you? Why do you always say no to the guys who ask you out? Some of them look pretty decent."
Jessica knew the question would come back to haunt her again. What excuse could she give this time?
"...None of them is good enough for me. I'm looking for my number one. Besides how can I date someone when I have to take care of you?"
"Yah. I'm a grown woman who can take care of herself. Plus now that I have Wooyoung I'm pretty sure there will be no heartbreak this time!" Tiffany dorkly said throwing her fist up in the air with confidence.
"Ha ha... We'll see about that."
She doesn't need me anymore.
*
"Hello?"
"Jessi~ Where are you? How come you don't come to my place anymore so we can go to class together?" Tiffany said in a whiny voice over the phone; Jessica was sure she was pouting and frowning her eyebrows.
"Sorry. I've been busy, Tiff. It's been getting harder to wake up that early to go to your place when it's so cold." A lie.
Jessica had been avoiding Tiffany for a week now. Sure it was painful not to be able to talk to her, but it was for the best.
She could still see the love of her life in class; she even saw Tiffany stealing glances at her from time to time.
Tiffany was happy and nothing else mattered.
"I'll go to your place then! We don't even meet in class since you're always the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. I miss talking to you..."
Silence. A sigh escaped her mouth before she spoke again.
"Actually I'm busy because I got a boyfriend. I'm sorry, Tiff." Another lie.
"YOU DID?!" Jessica almost dropped her phone because of Tiffany's sudden outburst
"Who? Who who who who who?! Why didn't you tell me, Jessica Jung?! So you finally found your number one..."
"...It's.. uh... Yuri. Sorry." Three lies. Jessica's on a roll!
"Yuri..? Wasn't Yuri that friend you haven't spoken to in God knows how long? Moreover isn't Yuri a GIRL?" Tiffany arched one eyebrow in confusion.
"Oh..." mental slap! "Psh yeah. You know, I ran into her on the market a few days ago and we kind of hit it off so... Yeah." Four. At this rate would she even be able to stop?
She gave a nervous laugh. Was Tiffany gonna buy that excuse?
"...I see... Still, you could've told me. We're best friends, right? I don't mind if you're dating a girl."
"I'm sorry."
I am sorry.
The only three words Jessica could mutter at the moment.
Three words that Jessica was muttering for the wrong reasons.
She wasn't sorry for keeping a distance from Tiffany.
She wasn't really sorry for lying to Tiffany.
She was sorry for loving Tiffany as more than a friend so much for so long it was becoming unbearable being around her.
"We should go on a double date! Me and Woo and you and Yuri! That way I can introduce him to you and meet Yuri at the same time!"
That's how they planned the double date night. Well, that's how Tiffany planned the double date night and forced the idea upon Jessica who could do nothing but oblige to the brunette's suggestions.
The blonde was hesitating in accepting the idea as; first of all Yuri and her are NOT together. In fact they haven't talked to each other in two years and as far as she knows, Yuri already has a girlfriend! Second, Jessica wasn't exactly excited to see Tiffany lovingly interacting with someone who wasn't her.
*
"Hello? Yuri?" Jessica called her old friend. She had to do this.
"This is Yoona, Yuri's girlfriend. She's in the shower right now; do you want to leave a message?" A sweet melodious voice said on the phone freezing Jessica's brain for a second.
"Hello there. This is Jessica Jung, Yuri's old friend... Could you ask her to come to my place as soon as possible? If possible I'd like you to come as well."
"Uhh... okay I think. We'll be there as soon as possible I guess..."
*
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! Nuh-uh. No way. Never. Not in this lifetime."
Yuri and Yoona had gone to Jessica's place later that night. They were worried about her as she never really talked to Yuri after they got into different universities so the sudden request was quite strange.
"Please, Yuri. I'm begging you!" Jessica bowed 90° actually pleading her friend for the unreasonable favor.
Yuri looked at her friend with understanding in her heart but she couldn't just pretend to date one of her old best friends. She had Yoona now. Plus, how weird was it to pretend to be dating the one girl she could never picture herself with?
"Look Sica, I wish I could help. If I wasn't dating Yoong then I would but I have to think about he-"
"Do it." Yoona cut Yuri off.
Yuri was wide eyed when she turned to take a look at her girlfriend who was sitting with her legs crossed on a chair not too far from the other two. A distant look on her face as she played with the ice in the glass that used to have apple juice aside from the ice cubes.
"Are you serious?" Yuri approached the doe-eyed girl who nodded with a small smile on her face.
"Thank you Goddess Yoona! I promise you holding hands and hugging will be the only physical contact we'll have! If she dares try kissing or touching me inappropriately I'll make sure she regrets it deeply!"
Yoona chuckled. In truth she did feel a hint of jealousy in her heart but she also trusted Yuri wouldn't cheat on her.
"But... ok. I swear I won't try anything with that woman. She's probably Darth Vader's lost daughter who inherited all his evilness! Pure evil! Nasty nasty soul!" Yuri held Yoona's hands and looked in her eyes whist the other girl just nodded and smiled at her dorky girlfriend.
"Yah! I'm right here!"
" When we were kids she was ugly. Soooo ugly. I don't think I could even try making a move on her because of all the memories."
"Are you really insulting me in my own place? And for your information I was a beautiful child!"
"She was totally evil-looking, Yoong! When I met her in pre-school she had no friends except for this one cat she played with during lunch."
"Tsk. I just kept a serious face so stupid kids wouldn't bother me! Stupid kids like you who had to follow me everywhere!"
"Sssshhh I followed you because you were the only kid who'd play Pokémon with me so shut up. Anyway you haven't called me in two years and suddenly this? I always thought you would major in Math or something and turn into a cat lady but look at you falling for a girl and majoring in Architecture." Yuri said with a smirk on her face. Fingers intervened with Yoona's and both of them eyed Jessica blushing.
"Shut up, Yul. You haven't changed a bit... still the same annoying brat." Jessica said and turned her back at the two. She'd ordered food for them but totally forgot about it after talking to Yuri for the first time in so long.
"Correction. I grew really tall while you're still a shorty." Yuri guided Yoona to the dinner table and offered her a plate filled with food as Jessica scoffed.
"I'm glad you found your number one, Yuri.." Jessica softly said with a smile on her face.
Yuri knew how much numbers meant to Jessica. To her very few people actually meant more than just numbers. She always referred to the person one fell for as 'number one'.
"Thanks. Who knew you'd actually find someone like that too. Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" Yuri suggested as they ate.
Before Jessica could answer, Yoona scoffed and lightly hit Yuri's arm.
"Says the girl who kept stalking me for 3 months before actually talking to me. What did you say that day again? 'H-hey... Y-you are so pretty. I have a dog. Do you like ma?'"
Jessica and Yoona were laughing like crazy while Yuri just kept her gaze down trying to hide her flushed cheeks. It was true it took a while for her to finally get the courage to talk to Yoona but in the end Yoona did fall for her so her method worked quite well.
"Gosh Sica. Ok. I'm gonna add two conditions on this date night thing. One: Yoona comes along. She'll sit on another table but she has to go; Two: You have to tell this girl how you feel by the end of the night and no more avoiding her!"
Jessica sighed agreeing to the deal. It was all for the best anyway. After telling Tiffany how she felt Tiffany herself would probably start avoiding her.
*
Jessica and Yuri were already at the restaurant where they'd be having dinner before heading to catch a movie at the cinema. Yoona was sitting at the bar and amusingly eyed them as she pretended to wait for a friend.
"So.. when it's about this Tiffany girl you're never late, huh? Whenever we went out shopping during junior high you'd arrive at least 30 minutes late..."
"Shh who cares. She's here. Stop looking at Yoona!" Jessica whispered to Yuri who kept pouting with a puppy face on looking at Yoona.
"Jessi!" Tiffany squealed and gave Jessica a tight hug. "This is Wooyoung. Woo, this is my best friend Jessi." She introduced them, who only slightly bowed at each other, smiling.
"This is Yuri. Yuri, this is Tiffany."
Yuri eyed Tiffany curiously. She was indeed pretty and seemed to be quite an amusing person.
No wonder Sica fell for her.
The dinner went well as the four kept a steady interesting conversation with Yuri happily sharing some of Jessica's childhood secrets and Tiffany gladly listening to it.
Wooyoung didn't talk much but made sure not to look too bored and Jessica was too embarrassed over Yuri's stories to do anything but eat her food.
As Jessica excused herself to go to the restroom Tiffany offered to tag along, leaving Yuri and Wooyoung in an awkward conversation.
"Jessi... I have to tell you something." Tiffany said as she fixed her makeup.
"What is it, Tiff?"
"I think... Yuri is cheating on you. I mean, she keeps looking at this girl at the bar with such a smile on her face it's hard not to notice."
Tiffany's words shocked Jessica in a way that the latter smudged the lipstick she was applying.
"Uh... Don't worry, Tiff. Yuri would never cheat..." on Yoona, she mentally continued her sentence.
"I'm worried about you, Jessi! I know what I saw and I don't want you to get hurt. I like you too much to see you broken..."
"Relax Tiff. I got this. Come on, let's enjoy the night." It's our last one as friends after all. Jessica pulled her friend towards the exit but what they saw as she opened the door froze them on the spot.
Wooyoung was being slapped by an unknown girl with Yuri still sitting in front of him with wide eyes and a confused look on her face.
"You're cheating on me? Again?" The girl yelled at Wooyoung, who now was standing up trying to take the girl to a quieter place but she seemed to be resisting.
"Soo... I can explain... it's not-"
"Explain what?" Tiffany asked as she approached the table holding Jessica's hand.
"Yes, explain what?" Yuri asked trying to suppress an evil grin.
Wooyoung looked weirdly at Yuri. What the hell does she have to do with this?
"Tiffany... Sooyoung... I'm sorry." Wooyoung muttered. "I love you both so much..."
A loud sound echoed in the room as Jessica stepped in front of Tiffany who had tears brimming on her eyes and slapped Wooyoung as hard as she could.
"When you love someone you don't cheat... You don't deserve her. Tiffany is an amazing person with a great personality. She can pull you up from the deepest holes just by flashing her eye smile and no matter what happens she'll stick to her beliefs."
Jessica's words touched Tiffany's heart.
After very heartbreak. After every mistake Tiffany makes Jessica is the one beside her. Jessica is the amazing person.
"And you just lost her."
Jessica gripped Tiffany's hand and ran out of the restaurant without looking back leaving Yuri and Yoona behind with the still fighting couple. They ran for four blocks finally reaching the park where Jessica's car was parked in front of.
Both girls were recovering their breath as Jessica decided to break the silence.
"I'm sorry." Again with the sorry.
"For what?" Tiffany was confused. Jessica just stood up for her in a way no one else ever had done before and now was saying sorry?
"I'm sorry for saying those things to Wooyoung. I was just really angry and the words just slipped out of my mouth. I meant every word though."
Tiffany chuckled. Jessica always worried about Tiffany before anything and it always made her smile how caring her friend could be.
"More importantly what about Yuri? You dragged me here but she stayed back..."
"Pssh leave her. She always finds a way out on her own." Jessica said as she got in the car. "Do you want me to drop you off?"
"But... Yuri... Gosh you're being a terrible girlfriend here, Jessi!" Tiffany was still confused about why would Jessica just leave her girlfriend behind.
Jessica sighed. She had to fulfill her part of the deal. "Just... get in the car and I'll explain everything."
Tiffany hesitantly did as Jessica asked her to. The ride was quiet as Jessica still had to organize her thoughts in a easy way to explain things to Tiffany, who kept stealing glances at Jessica every two seconds waiting for her to speak up.
They were already two blocks away from Tiffany's dorm when Jessica spoke.
"Tiff... Promise me you won't get mad."
"I could never get mad at you Jessi" Concern obvious in her tone.
"Well... Yuri... she's not my girlfriend. We're just old friends and that girl you saw at the bar flirting with Yuri is her actual girlfriend."
"Wait. So you lied to me?? Why?" Tiffany was surprised and kind of upset. She had always assumed there were no secrets nor lies between them.
"I'm sorry." Jessica said almost inaudibly as she parked the car in front of Tiffany's dorm.
"Listen... after I say this you'll probably hate me and we'll probably not be friends anymore so promise me you'll look after yourself. Don't forget to start your final project for this semester and remember to buy vegetables on Tuesdays 'cause that's when they restock. Oh an-"
"Just say it." Tiffany put a finger in front of Jessica's lips to stop her rambling and motioned her to continue with whatever she had to say.
Jessica hesitated a bit opening and closing her mouth repeatedly before deciding it was best to look at Tiffany straight in the eye so she could convey her feelings as much as possible.
"You know... how people are nothing but numbers? To me at least."
"Of course I know. You used to call me by my registration number for the first two weeks! I had to insist that my name wasn't 4103396 but Tiffany Hwang." Tiffany answered with a light chuckle as she thought about the old times.
"Sorry about that. Well... following that logic I never bothered to actually get to know people as they were nothing but numbers in a mass full of them. All the same. The few people I consider more than numbers are my family, Yuri, Yoona and you, Tiff."
"You were the ones who taught me it doesn't matter if we're just numbers in the eyes of society as long as we're not in the eyes of the people we care about. You are my number one, Tiffany Hwang. You are the person I love the most in the world."
"W-what are you saying, Jessi?"
Tiffany was too shocked to react. She could feel tears threatening to slide down her cheeks as she kept her gaze at the girl sitting next to her with wide eyes.
"Jessi... I-"
"It's ok, Tiff. I was the happiest person in the world for the past seven years just because you were there beside me. During second year of high school I realised how much you meant to me and ever since then you were my Sun. I just couldn't live without you. It would be selfish of me to want more than that."
Jessica turned her face away from Tiffany to clean her face that also had tears running down.
"Maybe I'm getting too close and burning myself in your heat. I'll keep my distance from now, don't worry... I hope you can find the one you love the most too."
Jessica didn't have the courage to look up as she just waited for Tiffany to get out of the car. When the latter did so without saying anything she just headed to her own place to get some alone time ignoring every phone call and knock on her door. Bottles of beer as her new best friends.
*
It's been a week after the confession and Jessica was skipping classes and ignoring all calls and messages apart from the ones Yuri sent her asking if she was ok. They actually got back being good friends after that night.
She wasn't a mess like rejected people are portrayed in movies. She properly cleaned the apartment and showered every day. She cooked whenever she felt like it and ordered takeout when she didn't. Everything was fine or she wanted to think so.
Jessica actually intended to only skip two or three days but ended up staying home for the whole week. Considering the final exams were close that was really a stupid idea and she couldn't help but slightly regretting confessing to Tiffany deep in her heart.
No. It was for the best. I can move on now.
It was raining and Jessica wanted to make a lasagna but she'd ran out of tomato sauce. She had no choice but leave the comfort of her place and run to the nearby .
As she was leaving the building a figure standing under the rain wearing completely soaked clothes caught her attention. The person was just staring at the ground letting the heavy droplets of the rain consume her whole.
"Hey... are you ok? Do you need an umbrella? I can lend y-" Jessica was at a loss of words when the person lifted her head and looked up at Jessica. Even if she was wearing a hoodie red eyes were visible as Jessica took a step forward immediately recognizing the person.
"Tiffany! What the hell? Come here!" Jessica pulled Tiffany out of the rain and brought her up to her apartment.
"Here are some clothes and a towel. Take those wet clothes out before you catch a cold!" Jessica pushed Tiffany into the bathroom and didn't leave until she heard the sound of the shower.
What is she doing here? Did I make her hate me so much? Maybe she came to kill me...
Jessica kept thinking of all possible reasons for Tiffany to show up at her door like that as she made a cup of hot chocolate waiting for the latter to get out of shower.
When Tiffany stepped out of the bathroom Jessica could still see the red eyes but overall she looked better without the wet clothes.
"Drink this." Jessica handed Tiffany the hot chocolate cup and motioned her to sit on the couch beside her.
"Why..." Tiffany whispered.
"Tiffany I'm so-"
"Stop saying you're sorry! I'm the one who should say sorry! You've loved me for so long and I was too busy being selfish to notice that." Tiffany yelled standing up in front of a scared Jessica.
"I'm sorry, Jessi. I've hurt you over and over again for the past six years and all you did was smile and stand by my side during good and bad times." Tiffany was sobbing.
"You do-"
"Let me finish!" Tiffany cut Jessica off again. "I'm not sure how I feel about you. I love you in a way but I'm not sure if it's the same way you love me and i don't know how to proceed with it. I'm not sure if this could even work but if it's you I'm more than willing to try."
"What..."
"It's painful being without you, Jessi. So I stood up in front of your building crying like a crazy person every day for the past 4 days gathering the courage to ring your doorbell and tell you there is not Tiff without Jessi. Tell you that more than worrying whether this could work I worry that I may be losing the one I love the most. So please Jessi, instead of saying you're sorry just tell me you're willing to take this risk with me. I'm scared. But it's a good feeling because you'll be there with me."
"Will you go out with me, Jessica Jung?"
Jessica was frozen. There were so many feelings she couldn't speak so she simply nodded. Tears once again running down both of their faces as they engulfed each other in a tight embrace.
"I found it, Jessi. You are my number one."
*
"Why number one though? Wouldn't number eight be more appropriate since it's like the infinite symbol? Forever love!" Tiffany asked as she snuggled deeper into Jessica's embrace.
"Number one is the first natural number after zero. The first number that means something after nothing and comes before two. Two is too much. And eight is just eight, not an infinite symbol. Ha ha completely different things, Tiff."
People are nothing but numbers in society.
That's the cruel truth.
But it doesn't matter what you are to society.
The only thing that matters is that you are someone. Someone to that one person you would give everything up for. Someone to your number one.