NaNo Snippet Time!

Nov 07, 2013 21:49

Hokay...here is a snippet. And the one I'm fighting with the most. :)

Clicky )

nanowrimo

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Comments 4

snarkophagus November 8 2013, 04:27:25 UTC
I like! Was this the bit you were referring to with emotional impact earlier today? Because there's plenty as is.

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yoru_no_tori November 9 2013, 02:53:46 UTC
It is. I'm still working out the kinks, like making the reader aware that Karvanya is the sword. It's noted in the vision prior to that which occurs shortly before this, but I'm not sure if I need to clarify it further here.

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khar_ghatten November 9 2013, 02:46:49 UTC
Was this the Ward scene you were talking about? Poor thing.

As a comment, it's not clear when Karvanya is introduced that it's a blade you're talking about. I figured it out by the end of that paragraph, but I was a little thrown off at first.

I like this scene quite a bit. It's very strong.

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yoru_no_tori November 9 2013, 02:52:04 UTC
Yeah it is. I have one more occurrence of this vision for book 1. You don't really have it again until the end of book 2 and then the resolution in 3.

I'm working on clarification. I noted that too. The spirit blades do have personality and most are named if not by the blade itself than by its carrier. I think I over-established that. It sucks trying to write in a world that you're so familiar with you forget to add all the little details that some new to it would need.

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