Only when I lose myself....
Title: (pending)
Rating: (R at the moment)
Pairing: (Sanji/?)
Status: In Progress.
Archive: Not at the moment.
Song: "Only When I Lose Myself" - Depeche Mode
It's only when I lose myself in someone else, that I find myself....
Sanji sat in the darkness, the glow from his cigarette drawing attention to him in a way that the soft light from the window wouldn’t. Just a man, in a hotel room, sitting up. Nothing to draw the eye, but that red glow was like a beacon. Not that there was anyone to see it. Just a slumbering body beside him, long since heavy with sleep.
She didn’t talk about meat in her sleep, didn’t scream, didn’t fuss or toss and turn. She just slept a solid sleep; the kind that people with happy, consistent lifestyles enjoy regularly.
At least, from what he’d noticed.
Not the kind of sleep he got, or the kind he was used to seeing.
He frowned as he watched her face in the moonlight. It used to be something he enjoyed-beautiful women in every port; that satisfying feeling after a night of wooing some girl, and good sex. But after awhile, it just felt hollow.
Not before, not during, but after. After, when he sat there, cigarette in hand, unable to sleep, and feeling horribly restless. After, when he couldn’t focus his thoughts, and wanted nothing more than to be back on the ship, on the ocean, and gone from this empty room, with empty actions.
During was why he still did it. During, when everything felt complete; when he felt none of the emptiness- that hollow ache he felt in daily life, that feeling of something missing, was completely absent when he was charming a woman. Something felt whole when he was inside of her, moving with her, hearing her, feeling her.
There was something about a woman in lust. A woman who desired him that made him feel like a prince. Like he was everything Sef said he wasn’t. Like he was everything he wanted to be, and that his dreams weren’t some child’s joke like he’d been made to feel for his entire life.
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralyzed.
I have found heaven
There was a pull, a feeling that he got. He flirted with all of them, but he always knew which ones would actually come to bed with him. Which ones would give him that high he needed. The ones that would make him feel like he had found his paradise for a brief time.
And, inadvertently, which ones would always leave him wanting when it was over.
There's a thousand reasons
Why I should not spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
So why do it? Why keep doing something that he knew would leave him like this, in the end. Staring off into the darkness, looking over at his pick of the evening, chewing on his cigarette, and feeling more restless than he ever felt when he was cooped up in a ship for weeks on end with the most annoying people he’d ever met?
A million reasons sprang to mind why he shouldn’t do it. Nami, being on the top of that list. But he was a ladies man, and had a reputation to uphold, didn’t he? He had to have just one more thing to taunt Zoro about; one more thing he was better at. And romancing women was his specialty. Cooking and women were his [coupe de force], and damned if he could find a reason strong enough to give up something that made him feel like himself again, when everything else was falling away.
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment now that you are here
I feel satisfied I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
He looked away from her, exhaling a heavy plume of smoke, and sighing heavily. She was beautiful, wasn’t she? She was charming, and lovely and everything he adored in a woman.
So why was it, that he couldn’t stop thinking about them?
God, but he was annoying. So hyper, and whiny and stubborn. And determined. It was that determination that had got him where he was in the first place. That dedication to his dream, and that steadfast determination. Monkey D. Rufi just wouldn’t take “No” for an answer.
It was admirable. It was annoying. It was enviable.
----
What was it about that guy? He was quiet, polite.
Everything his brother wasn’t.
He hadn’t stayed long, and he hadn’t said much, but there was a charisma about him. Something that made him a natural leader, and a wonderful companion, if temporary.
Sanji regretted his leaving. He had made a good addition to the crew in the short time he’d been there. But it was inevitable. He was a captain of another crew; a rival crew. He silently prayed they’d never have to come up against them. More for Rufi’s sake, than his own.
----
Annoying, loud, boisterous, irritating, stupid-Sanji could go on for hours.
Shitty swordsman.
Shitty, pushy, assumptious....aggressive, sexy as hell, definitely not a woman.
There was no tenderness with Zoro. No kind words, no hushed whispers. No wooing, no charming, no candlelight dinner. No promises, and no lies.
And that, in and of itself, was the biggest lie.
Because he hated him, didn’t he? Wasn’t that the truth? Didn’t they hate each other? Wouldn’t he rather see him drown in the goddamned shitty ocean than talk to him?
---
Did I need to sell my soul For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
----
"Only When I Lose Myself" - Depeche Mode
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralized
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I should not spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment now that you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
Did I need to sell my soul
For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart
In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
---
coupe de force. French term. I think it's used properly, but I'm unsure, and this piece, finished or not, won't go public until I -am- sure, so if you can find out for me if it is, and if it isn't what term IS correct, because I -know- there is one, and the french would go really well there, being Sanji and all. XD
There should be more. It's far from over. There should be more detail, more word varation in the beginning section. (Though I tried. I love you MS-Word Thesaurus feature. <3)
It doesn't end properly. There should be more detail.
Maybe some flashback, maybe some sex, something.
Damn you, Sanji. Go home. JUST GO THE FUCK HOME.
Anyway, feedback/help/building might be nice, if you've got any ideas.
I can send you the song if you want it. o_o
Rating: (R at the moment)
Pairing: (Sanji/?)
Status: In Progress.
Archive: Not at the moment.
Song: "Only When I Lose Myself" - Depeche Mode
It's only when I lose myself in someone else, that I find myself....
Sanji sat in the darkness, the glow from his cigarette drawing attention to him in a way that the soft light from the window wouldn’t. Just a man, in a hotel room, sitting up. Nothing to draw the eye, but that red glow was like a beacon. Not that there was anyone to see it. Just a slumbering body beside him, long since heavy with sleep.
She didn’t talk about meat in her sleep, didn’t scream, didn’t fuss or toss and turn. She just slept a solid sleep; the kind that people with happy, consistent lifestyles enjoy regularly.
At least, from what he’d noticed.
Not the kind of sleep he got, or the kind he was used to seeing.
He frowned as he watched her face in the moonlight. It used to be something he enjoyed-beautiful women in every port; that satisfying feeling after a night of wooing some girl, and good sex. But after awhile, it just felt hollow.
Not before, not during, but after. After, when he sat there, cigarette in hand, unable to sleep, and feeling horribly restless. After, when he couldn’t focus his thoughts, and wanted nothing more than to be back on the ship, on the ocean, and gone from this empty room, with empty actions.
During was why he still did it. During, when everything felt complete; when he felt none of the emptiness- that hollow ache he felt in daily life, that feeling of something missing, was completely absent when he was charming a woman. Something felt whole when he was inside of her, moving with her, hearing her, feeling her.
There was something about a woman in lust. A woman who desired him that made him feel like a prince. Like he was everything Sef said he wasn’t. Like he was everything he wanted to be, and that his dreams weren’t some child’s joke like he’d been made to feel for his entire life.
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralyzed.
I have found heaven
There was a pull, a feeling that he got. He flirted with all of them, but he always knew which ones would actually come to bed with him. Which ones would give him that high he needed. The ones that would make him feel like he had found his paradise for a brief time.
And, inadvertently, which ones would always leave him wanting when it was over.
There's a thousand reasons
Why I should not spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
So why do it? Why keep doing something that he knew would leave him like this, in the end. Staring off into the darkness, looking over at his pick of the evening, chewing on his cigarette, and feeling more restless than he ever felt when he was cooped up in a ship for weeks on end with the most annoying people he’d ever met?
A million reasons sprang to mind why he shouldn’t do it. Nami, being on the top of that list. But he was a ladies man, and had a reputation to uphold, didn’t he? He had to have just one more thing to taunt Zoro about; one more thing he was better at. And romancing women was his specialty. Cooking and women were his [coupe de force], and damned if he could find a reason strong enough to give up something that made him feel like himself again, when everything else was falling away.
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment now that you are here
I feel satisfied I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
He looked away from her, exhaling a heavy plume of smoke, and sighing heavily. She was beautiful, wasn’t she? She was charming, and lovely and everything he adored in a woman.
So why was it, that he couldn’t stop thinking about them?
God, but he was annoying. So hyper, and whiny and stubborn. And determined. It was that determination that had got him where he was in the first place. That dedication to his dream, and that steadfast determination. Monkey D. Rufi just wouldn’t take “No” for an answer.
It was admirable. It was annoying. It was enviable.
----
What was it about that guy? He was quiet, polite.
Everything his brother wasn’t.
He hadn’t stayed long, and he hadn’t said much, but there was a charisma about him. Something that made him a natural leader, and a wonderful companion, if temporary.
Sanji regretted his leaving. He had made a good addition to the crew in the short time he’d been there. But it was inevitable. He was a captain of another crew; a rival crew. He silently prayed they’d never have to come up against them. More for Rufi’s sake, than his own.
----
Annoying, loud, boisterous, irritating, stupid-Sanji could go on for hours.
Shitty swordsman.
Shitty, pushy, assumptious....aggressive, sexy as hell, definitely not a woman.
There was no tenderness with Zoro. No kind words, no hushed whispers. No wooing, no charming, no candlelight dinner. No promises, and no lies.
And that, in and of itself, was the biggest lie.
Because he hated him, didn’t he? Wasn’t that the truth? Didn’t they hate each other? Wouldn’t he rather see him drown in the goddamned shitty ocean than talk to him?
---
Did I need to sell my soul For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
----
"Only When I Lose Myself" - Depeche Mode
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotized, I feel paralized
I have found heaven
There's a thousand reasons
Why I should not spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
I can feel the emptiness inside me fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment now that you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven
Did I need to sell my soul
For pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control
To treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart
In the palm of your hand
Before I could even start
To understand
It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself
---
coupe de force. French term. I think it's used properly, but I'm unsure, and this piece, finished or not, won't go public until I -am- sure, so if you can find out for me if it is, and if it isn't what term IS correct, because I -know- there is one, and the french would go really well there, being Sanji and all. XD
There should be more. It's far from over. There should be more detail, more word varation in the beginning section. (Though I tried. I love you MS-Word Thesaurus feature. <3)
It doesn't end properly. There should be more detail.
Maybe some flashback, maybe some sex, something.
Damn you, Sanji. Go home. JUST GO THE FUCK HOME.
Anyway, feedback/help/building might be nice, if you've got any ideas.
I can send you the song if you want it. o_o