(originally a jpeg file, but i wanted to transcribe it :D)
Taoism - Shit happens.
Zen Buddhism - What is the sound of shit happening?
Protestantism - Let shit happen to someone else.
New Age - Affirm shit doesn't happen to us.
Confucianism - Confucius says, "Shit happens."
Hinduism - This shit happened before.
Catholicism - If shit happens you deserve it.
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