Shit damn.
I had a break down, it happens sometimes. I was very, very upset and angry (still am somewhat angry, sorry if I sound a little harsh, it's not your fault), and after posting my 12784659876th woe-is-me post, I was quite disgusted with myself, for always coming here to whine about how much I feel like shit, and I did what I did, I deleted my journals. Because I thought I was using them as an escape route. And as a whining fuck-fest, imposing my shit on you all the time. My issues are ridiculous, and I should just shut up. And that's why I deleted my accounts.
I went to bed, and now here I am. Here, I am ok. I behaved like a little girl, like the worse drama queen to ever live. I won't apologize for my break down, I couldn't avoid it. Maybe it got as bad as it did exactly because I was forcing it down. But I do want to apologize for making people worry. I thought it was clear nothing bad had happened to me, apart from me being the depressed shit I am, but some of you reacted very strongly and now I feel bad. Guess I deserve it. Sorry, I really am. You shouldn't be subjected to my lunatic behaviors. Well, now I'll forever feel ashamed of myself. Goob job, Ilaria.
Please, forgive.
And sorry also to those of you who got the chance to read my last post before I deleted everything. That was...wow, that was possibly something someone who is about to go out and kill everybody would write. I admit I hit a new kind of pissedness mixed with depression this morning. When I deleted my accounts I thought I was doing the right thing for me. Deleting my journals to start facing reality some. But uh. That was incredibly shitty of me, towards you. Yeah, forgive.
I'm not sure what I can say to make it better. Nothing, probably.
Disabling comments because you already went out of your way to reach out for me. I know you care. I care, too, I just get overwhelmed sometimes :(
Shit, this is embarrassing. *kneels over nails*
I went to bed, and now here I am. Here, I am ok. I behaved like a little girl, like the worse drama queen to ever live. I won't apologize for my break down, I couldn't avoid it. Maybe it got as bad as it did exactly because I was forcing it down. But I do want to apologize for making people worry. I thought it was clear nothing bad had happened to me, apart from me being the depressed shit I am, but some of you reacted very strongly and now I feel bad. Guess I deserve it. Sorry, I really am. You shouldn't be subjected to my lunatic behaviors. Well, now I'll forever feel ashamed of myself. Goob job, Ilaria.
Please, forgive.
And sorry also to those of you who got the chance to read my last post before I deleted everything. That was...wow, that was possibly something someone who is about to go out and kill everybody would write. I admit I hit a new kind of pissedness mixed with depression this morning. When I deleted my accounts I thought I was doing the right thing for me. Deleting my journals to start facing reality some. But uh. That was incredibly shitty of me, towards you. Yeah, forgive.
I'm not sure what I can say to make it better. Nothing, probably.
Disabling comments because you already went out of your way to reach out for me. I know you care. I care, too, I just get overwhelmed sometimes :(
Shit, this is embarrassing. *kneels over nails*