As of late, life has been very monotonous. I have recieved some dismally horrific blows in the last week, and they have made what promised to be atleast a mediocre to good rest of the summer a huge letdown and quite upsetting. Firstly and most grievously, my Uncle's girlfriend Pam is on her deathbed. She has been dying of pancreatic cancer and ( Read more... )

It's really difficult to find something you love unconditionally; something that excites you every time you think about it and something that gives you a big fat grin when you realize its a part of your life. So far, no person has ever done that for me, and I am not waiting in vain for them to come along, either. To fulfill the need for ( Read more... )

This week has certainly had its ups and downs, but all in all, it's had a very positive outcome. The two highlights of my week have been Patrick's party at his house and the decision to run off to california in August with Pat and Sarah. I am so excited about the latter that it hurts. I'm not joking; knowing that I have to wait for a month and a ( Read more... )

but I needed to say this out loud instead of bottling it up inside me and pretending it's not there.

I like someone I can't like. I actually like him. I pretended I didn't, that I was just having fun, but I don't think it's true. I think I really do feel something more than just lust for him. But I can't. It just can't work like that ( Read more... )

I hate being home. I hate it here. I hate my mother. I have never felt this much hatred toward someone in the entirety of my life. We have been fighting every day, with the exception of yesterday, since the day I've been home. Great welcome for 3 months, isn't it?

I know this is really weird, but I really like the sound of chainsaws. They remind me of super good times in my life. The sound brings me back to my highschool birthday parties. It makes me kind of nostalgic. I can't wait until October now, but that seems really far away.

There's oh so much on my mind right now. Mainly the idea of summer vacation being right around the corner (2 weeks), my concert coming up in six days (I'm getting allergies and I have this big solo I have to sing...I'm paranoid I'm going to sound like shit), the fact that a lot of my friends are graduating, the need to get a job over the summer but ( Read more... )

It took me a minute to remember why I felt so shitty when I woke up. And then I remembered I had a huge fight with my roommate last night. Great thing to be hanging over my head, haunting me, for the rest of spring fling weekend.

People can be really unfair sometimes. I guess that's life. Meh.

I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really ( Read more... )

You can yell, you can scream, you can call me a bitch and a whore and bad friend and a know-it-all, but jesus christ don't hide things from me. Worse, don't lie to me or exempt things from what you tell me because you want to hide what you feel. I really don't give a crap if you don't like confrontation. I'm not hard to confront. Don't say things ( Read more... )