Ari's Values Of The Day.
What's the worst thing someone could do? Fail.
What's the worst thing someone could do to you? Screw me over. Good fucking luck with that.
What's the worst thing that could happen to you? Death. Or an audit.
What's the worst thing someone could say about a person? "It's time to retire."
What's the best thing someone could say about a person? "Upon your return to your designated floor, you do get a cookie."
Are men and women basically different? It depends what they do for a living.
Which is better, to be a woman or to be a man? A man. Like I'm going to fucking say something else.
What can men do that women can't do? Name their own cock.
What can women do that men can't do? Bleed for a week and not die.
Is it possible to change genders? With a good enough surgeon.
How old is old enough to have sex? For my daughters: 25. For my son: whenever he wants.
Is it wrong to have sex if you're unmarried? No. It's practically a right.
Is it wrong to have sex with someone other than your spouse if you're married? Ye-es.
Is it wrong to have sex with a person of the same gender? ...No.
Is it wrong to have sex with a person of a different race (or a different intelligent non-human species)? No.
Is it wrong to have more than one sexual partner at the same time? No.
Is it wrong to have sex with someone you don't love? No.
What are the responsibilities of a mother toward a child? To love, comfort, and nurture.
What are the responsibilities of a father toward a child? To love, provide, and protect.
What are the responsibilities of a child toward a parent? To do as I say.
Which should be more important to you, your parent or your child? Child should be more important to the parent; parent should be more important to the child.
Which should be more important to you, your parent or your spouse? Spouse. She's reading this.
Which should be more important to you, your child or your spouse? Neither.
Is it wrong to have a child if you're unmarried? No.
Is abortion wrong? No.
Is contraception wrong? No.
Is there one true religion? No
Does a deity or deities exist? Yes.
How important is it to believe in a deity or deities? Very.
How important is it to actively practice your religion? I'm reform.
Does magic exist? In my fucking pants.
Is practicing magic wrong? You don't want to be right.
Is killing always wrong? Yes.
Is war always wrong? No. This war is though.
How old is old enough to fight in a war? 27. Our soldiers should be legal to smoke, drink, and rent a fucking car before we kill them.
Is rape always wrong? Yes.
Is torture always wrong? No.
Is theft always wrong? Only from me.
Is slavery wrong? The correct word is "assistant".
Is lying wrong? Never.
Is swearing wrong? Fuck no.