Fanfic: They're Writing About Us?
Title: They're Writing About Us?
Genre: Humor/Crack
Rating: G/PG
Summary: The Musketeers discover fanfic.
A/N: A short thing I wrote ages ago, referencing lots of fic in the early fandom. It's not very good, but I hope it amuses.
--
Jacqueline: Siroc, what's this?
Siroc: It's my newest invention. It's called a computer. It allows you to exchange signals through the air and communicate with people around the world.
(blank stares)
Ramon: Why would you need to talk to people around the world? Can't you talk to people here?
Siroc: Well, um...
D'Artagnan: Hey, is that me?
(All crowd around computer screen.)
Siroc: That's you... And all of us...
Jacqueline: People talk about us?
Ramon: This is too strange.
D'Artagnan: Well, what do they say about me?
Siroc: They're writing stories about us. Amazing!
Ramon (reading): Jacque's a woman?!?
Jacqueline: Yes, I am.
Siroc (at same time): You didn't know that?
Jaqueline (to Siroc): You knew I was a woman?
Siroc: I guessed.
D'Artagnan: Well, that would explain why you have the hots for each other.
Jacqueline and Siroc: What?!?
Jacqueline: I don't -
Siroc: We don't -
(They look at each other and blush.)
D'Artagnan (grinning): This one's more like it.
Jacqueline: Why, you - I'd never - (pause) Your name's Francois?
D'Artagnan: What? No!
(Ramon and Siroc snicker.)
D'Artagnan: That's not my name!
Ramon: This one doesn't make any sense... Something about a giant and cliffs of insanity. Why aren't there any stories about me?
Siroc: Here's one.
Ramon: Could've gotten my sisters' names right.
D'Artagnan: Well, you never do talk about your family.
Siroc: Cough medicine doesn't make you hallucinate... What's a plushie? And why is this person so obsessed with my apron?
Jacqueline: It's a nice apron.
D'Artagnan: I think they want you to take it off.
Siroc: I beg your pardon?
Jacqueline: I'm pregnant?!?
(All stare at her.)
Jacqueline (annoyed): In the story. (pause) And I'm married to d'Artagnan? What kind of crazy people are they?
Ramon: Pretty crazy. This one's talking about someone called Yoda. I think he's a lizard.
Siroc: A lizard named Yoda?
Ramon: So?
Siroc: What kind of a name is that?
Ramon: Better than Francois...
(All snicker except d'Artagnan, who looks peeved.)
(Suddenly the screen goes black.)
Siroc: Uh-oh. I think the computer just crashed. We must have been reading too many stories.
Jacqueline: Can you fix it?
Siroc: I could try.
(Something sparks, and the computer starts smoking.)
Siroc: On second thought, maybe it would be better if I didn't. I have people to talk to here...
D'Artagnan: Good idea.
Jacqueline: Agreed.
Ramon (nods): That was just too strange.
(pause)
Ramon: So, anyone for a coffee?
- finis -
Genre: Humor/Crack
Rating: G/PG
Summary: The Musketeers discover fanfic.
A/N: A short thing I wrote ages ago, referencing lots of fic in the early fandom. It's not very good, but I hope it amuses.
--
Jacqueline: Siroc, what's this?
Siroc: It's my newest invention. It's called a computer. It allows you to exchange signals through the air and communicate with people around the world.
(blank stares)
Ramon: Why would you need to talk to people around the world? Can't you talk to people here?
Siroc: Well, um...
D'Artagnan: Hey, is that me?
(All crowd around computer screen.)
Siroc: That's you... And all of us...
Jacqueline: People talk about us?
Ramon: This is too strange.
D'Artagnan: Well, what do they say about me?
Siroc: They're writing stories about us. Amazing!
Ramon (reading): Jacque's a woman?!?
Jacqueline: Yes, I am.
Siroc (at same time): You didn't know that?
Jaqueline (to Siroc): You knew I was a woman?
Siroc: I guessed.
D'Artagnan: Well, that would explain why you have the hots for each other.
Jacqueline and Siroc: What?!?
Jacqueline: I don't -
Siroc: We don't -
(They look at each other and blush.)
D'Artagnan (grinning): This one's more like it.
Jacqueline: Why, you - I'd never - (pause) Your name's Francois?
D'Artagnan: What? No!
(Ramon and Siroc snicker.)
D'Artagnan: That's not my name!
Ramon: This one doesn't make any sense... Something about a giant and cliffs of insanity. Why aren't there any stories about me?
Siroc: Here's one.
Ramon: Could've gotten my sisters' names right.
D'Artagnan: Well, you never do talk about your family.
Siroc: Cough medicine doesn't make you hallucinate... What's a plushie? And why is this person so obsessed with my apron?
Jacqueline: It's a nice apron.
D'Artagnan: I think they want you to take it off.
Siroc: I beg your pardon?
Jacqueline: I'm pregnant?!?
(All stare at her.)
Jacqueline (annoyed): In the story. (pause) And I'm married to d'Artagnan? What kind of crazy people are they?
Ramon: Pretty crazy. This one's talking about someone called Yoda. I think he's a lizard.
Siroc: A lizard named Yoda?
Ramon: So?
Siroc: What kind of a name is that?
Ramon: Better than Francois...
(All snicker except d'Artagnan, who looks peeved.)
(Suddenly the screen goes black.)
Siroc: Uh-oh. I think the computer just crashed. We must have been reading too many stories.
Jacqueline: Can you fix it?
Siroc: I could try.
(Something sparks, and the computer starts smoking.)
Siroc: On second thought, maybe it would be better if I didn't. I have people to talk to here...
D'Artagnan: Good idea.
Jacqueline: Agreed.
Ramon (nods): That was just too strange.
(pause)
Ramon: So, anyone for a coffee?
- finis -