Death isn't romantic

[becka_kitty]

This was posted to an acquaintance's Facebook page on the 2nd anniversary of my husband's death. I really have no idea how to respond to this. If I could have laid down and died, too, I probably would have. I don't really find anything romantic about it, just a lot of pain

Comments

[kellidunham]

People are idiots. I read somewhere that grief is a language and until you've lost someone you love, you don't speak it. It's like the person posted something in a language they didn't understand. Of course it made no sense.

As to what to say? I go back and forth between wanting to school people and letting them think their own stupid thoughts. What do YOU need in this situation?

[becka_kitty]

I ended up posting "I really don't know how to respond to that." But good grief I thought we were taught that death wasn't romantic when we studied Romeo and Juliet in High School.

[puddock]

I wanted so much to die of a broken heart, i thought it was so unfair that I didn't. I would be so mad at this person, I would feel the implication was I didn't love my husband enough or I would have done the right thing and died too. Pah, Kellidunham is right people are idiots and they don't get it until they join the club.

[katzinoire]

Did they miss the part where they were older? That dying 4 months apart made sense due to their age? I see both sides of the coin-I get why one would think that was romantic since they survived a lot with each other and losing that half was hard, however they were both sick already-so him dying made more Karmic sense, than romantic sense.

A lot of us are not in our eighties. I know I don't want to die to be with my husband again anytime in the near future-although when the time comes, I think he'll be there. I wonder if he'll ever show up at different points in my life, I dream about him-but I know how much life meant to him since his was cut short, so I am living my life span to the fullest not only for myself, but to honor his. Does that make sense?

[fitfool]

I think when people say that, they're more admiring the depth of the love. I don't think that person meant in any way to suggest that those who manage to survive the death of their loved ones love them any less. When Michael died, I remember kinda wishing I could have died then too. He didn't believe in an afterlife though so it's not like I wanted to die and be with him again....it's just that living without him seemed an impossible task. I don't know that she really understands how painful that loss is and in some ways...it's probably just as well for her for now. I certainly had no idea how much pain a person could feel and survive until it happened to me and I don't wish it upon anyone else.