La Vie Boheme
This is why I love RENT. This here. I want to try to take out the really super dirty parts and rewrite them and do this for UK Bound. Ha. that would be fantastic. Or leave all that in and sing about S&M and sodomy in Mr. Moylan's office. 0:-)
Enjoy.
ROGER
Why did Muffy-
BENNY
Alison
ROGER
Miss the show?
BENNY
There was a death in the family
If you must know
ANGEL
Who died?
BENNY
Our Akita
BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita
BENNY
You make fun yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead
(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with
MARK delivering the "eulogy")
MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.
MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass- you bet your ass to-
(MAUREEN flashes hers)
La vie Boheme
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits to no absolutes
To Absolute- to choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us -for once-, instead of a them
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE'S ass. MR. GREY reacts)
MR. GREY
Ahhemm
MAUREEN
Hey Mister- she's my sister
RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
A BOY
Ew
COLLINS
It tastes the same
MIMI
If you close your eyes
RESTAURANT MAN
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
ALL
Wine and beer!
MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
MARK
Mucho masturbation
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
COLLINS
To Sontag
ANGEL
To Sondheim
FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo
COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
COLLINS
Lenny Bruce
ROGER
Langston Hughes
MAUREEN
To the stage
PERSON #1
To Uta
PERSON #2
To Buddha
PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too
MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
ALL
La vie Boheme
(MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss)
MR. GREY
Sisters?
MAUREEN
We're close
(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss)
ANGEL, COLLINS
Brothers!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
COLLINS
To marijuana
ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M
(MR. GREY walks out)
BENNY
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter
ALL
La vie Boheme
COLLINS
bIn honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence
immediately following dinner
Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the
eleventh street lot,
Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello
Which she ain't never studied
ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an
erection on the high holy days
MARK
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn
chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song
(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris
While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub
ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist
Including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:
ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"
ALL
Wine and beer!
ALL
Yeah!!!
To dance
A GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders
ALL
Film
MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze
ALL
Music
ANGEL
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition
ALL
Anarchy
COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas
ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too
MAUREEN
To me
MARK
To me
COLLINS & ANGEL
To me
ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive with a sex drive
OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace
It's creation
ALL
La vie Boheme
Viva la vie Boheme
Enjoy.
ROGER
Why did Muffy-
BENNY
Alison
ROGER
Miss the show?
BENNY
There was a death in the family
If you must know
ANGEL
Who died?
BENNY
Our Akita
BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita
BENNY
You make fun yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead
(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with
MARK delivering the "eulogy")
MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.
MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass- you bet your ass to-
(MAUREEN flashes hers)
La vie Boheme
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits to no absolutes
To Absolute- to choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad
To being an us -for once-, instead of a them
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE'S ass. MR. GREY reacts)
MR. GREY
Ahhemm
MAUREEN
Hey Mister- she's my sister
RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
A BOY
Ew
COLLINS
It tastes the same
MIMI
If you close your eyes
RESTAURANT MAN
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
ALL
Wine and beer!
MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
MARK
Mucho masturbation
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
COLLINS
To Sontag
ANGEL
To Sondheim
FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo
COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
COLLINS
Lenny Bruce
ROGER
Langston Hughes
MAUREEN
To the stage
PERSON #1
To Uta
PERSON #2
To Buddha
PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too
MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
ALL
La vie Boheme
(MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss)
MR. GREY
Sisters?
MAUREEN
We're close
(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss)
ANGEL, COLLINS
Brothers!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
COLLINS
To marijuana
ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M
(MR. GREY walks out)
BENNY
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter
ALL
La vie Boheme
COLLINS
bIn honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence
immediately following dinner
Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the
eleventh street lot,
Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello
Which she ain't never studied
ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an
erection on the high holy days
MARK
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn
chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song
(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris
While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub
ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist
Including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:
ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"
ALL
Wine and beer!
ALL
Yeah!!!
To dance
A GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders
ALL
Film
MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze
ALL
Music
ANGEL
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition
ALL
Anarchy
COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas
ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too
MAUREEN
To me
MARK
To me
COLLINS & ANGEL
To me
ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive with a sex drive
OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace
It's creation
ALL
La vie Boheme
Viva la vie Boheme