As depressing as it is, I love it. The wonderful descriptive beginning set a contrasting tone to the story. Reading this while listening to Keurigo only made the experience better in my opinion.
Jae die becuz of him!!! i hate that girl name Yumi... i hope she died becuz of a heart attack... then Yunho will follow her... and then he will have to see Jae again in heaven... while that girl is at hell...*laughing evilly* im normally evil like this when i read about a girl better then Jae... it is never going to happen!!!
heh...for an english assignment? why shuch a sad fic?
i want to read ur other fic... seeing how this fic is going the other story is probably even better then this one right?
OMG noooo!! *tries to snatch jae back up* bad yunnie bad bad!
your fic is perfectly angstful theres just one thing that you might wanna fix...
"whispered Jae Joong as he released his grip on the (insert noun), ready to embrace the cold lifeless river below him."
it kinda impedes the impact of the action you're trying to convey...
*blushes* gah i just reread my comment and realized that i sound really rude!mianae! i'm sorry ! i didn't mean be so disrespectful! i'm just really really OCD about that kinda thing... *runs away and crawls into a hole*
Comments 17
*Smacks Yunho*
Makes me think about writing a fic where Jae leaves Yunho so Yunho commits suicide instead.
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*Whacks Yunho after callie20's done*
And I would like to read that other story too. :)
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anyways i love it hope u
write more soon ^-^
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*slap Yunho repeatedly for 100 times*
Jae die becuz of him!!!
i hate that girl name Yumi...
i hope she died becuz of a heart attack...
then Yunho will follow her...
and then he will have to see Jae again in heaven...
while that girl is at hell...*laughing evilly*
im normally evil like this when i read about a girl better then Jae...
it is never going to happen!!!
heh...for an english assignment? why shuch a sad fic?
i want to read ur other fic...
seeing how this fic is going the other story is probably even better then this one right?
Reply
Reply
your fic is perfectly angstful theres just one thing that you might wanna fix...
"whispered Jae Joong as he released his grip on the (insert noun), ready to embrace the cold lifeless river below him."
it kinda impedes the impact of the action you're trying to convey...
*blushes* gah i just reread my comment and realized that i sound really rude!mianae! i'm sorry ! i didn't mean be so disrespectful! i'm just really really OCD about that kinda thing... *runs away and crawls into a hole*
Reply
i guess i didn't type in railing.. hahaha
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