I can see how this might have been difficult to write, to put across to the reader, in the same way it's difficult for Dean to convey to Sam how he discerns the patterns in his head. I like how you made Dean's numbers compulsion tie into the case, the slowly evolving set up of that throughout the first chapter. Very nice. Likewise this little illustration of how Sam compartmentalizes his anger and frustration (which we know he does from canon):
The silence stretches for a time while Sam stacks his anger into neat piles one on top of another and pushes it all into a corner. When it's done he doesn't have to acknowledge it anymore, so he gives a small smile and is good enough again.
It occurred to me reading this section that this setup makes shifting the POV abruptly (a problem for every writer I know, and something I can't help but notice from having done so much editing) sort of mandatory instead of a style error. :D
This sentence just flat out made me smile:
They aren't terribly interesting dreams, which is funny, because
( ... )
It was certainly very frustrating to have to deal with the POV shifting, because it's something I always hate when other people do :P but yeah, it was mandatory to express the full effect.
Thank you for your comment :) It's nice to know what worked for people.
I'm in love with this relationship you have between Sam and Dean. They're so co-dependent, and both wanting to pull the other close and give all of themselves, but at the same time fearing rejection. What I really like is the way you've written these incredibly sexual scenes between Dean and Sam that aren't exactly about lust. It's more that Dean and Sam have this deep love that comes from being everything to each other, and as sexual adults, that physicality gets brought in as a way to express Sam's infatuation and hero worship, Dean's need for Sam and nothing else.
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The silence stretches for a time while Sam stacks his anger into neat piles one on top of another and pushes it all into a corner. When it's done he doesn't have to acknowledge it anymore, so he gives a small smile and is good enough again.
It occurred to me reading this section that this setup makes shifting the POV abruptly (a problem for every writer I know, and something I can't help but notice from having done so much editing) sort of mandatory instead of a style error. :D
This sentence just flat out made me smile:
They aren't terribly interesting dreams, which is funny, because ( ... )
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Thank you for your comment :) It's nice to know what worked for people.
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