SPN 5.16.- And we got one!
I think that may have been my favorite SPN episode ever. Holy cow, I didn't think it was possible for me to feel this for the show anymore, but just a quarter of the way in, I already felt more moved by it than by any other episode. And there didn't seem to be a wasted moment in it either, so it wasn't just that the episode tugged at the heartstrings; it also covered a lot of ground, and addressed many of the season's most important arcs. Not the apocalypse stuff, though it did that too, but the arcs that really matter to the characters and why we care about them. The episode also holds up really well on a second viewing.
Mysterious Ways
God might be finished with them now, but it seems clear that he was listening to Dean at the end of MBV. Unfortunately, what help was given just didn't match what Dean was expecting. He wanted to be able to stop the apocalypse, he wanted to be able to kill Lucifer, he wanted badly to be left alone by demons and angels alike, and surely he wanted to repair things with Sam so that they could go back to how they once were. But in all but the last of these, God had no answers for him.
God doesn't seem to care about the apocalypse, and Lucifer might be contained once more, but Joshua suggested that there was no way to kill him - something Castiel had already told Dean. Certainly, Zachariah promised to be Dean and Sam's enemy forever, and in heaven there seems to be little escape from the angels. Dean doesn't want to return to hell but doesn't see heaven as a great alternative. Pamela told him there could be peace, but it wasn't the sort of hereafter Dean wanted. In 2.01 he was about to say yes to Tessa, but more because he wanted to spare other people pain and hurt (that he would dish out as a ghost) than because he really wanted to go. One has to wonder if there is any possibility of peace for Dean, or if, as in WIaWSNB, he will continually bring his inner hell with him. Dean is not a man who has much truck with illusion.
But I do think this experience was meant to help both Sam and Dean. Not surprisingly, Dean and Castiel, the ones who had the most faith all along, are the ones most devastated by this turn of events -- even though they're the ones God took action for, bringing both back from the dead. How God regards Sam is less clear, because it's possible his being saved both in 5.01 as well as being rewarded with heaven had more to do with Dean than with Sam himself.
There's no telling how long this was after MBV, so Dean may have been sleeping the sleep of the truly exhausted. The liquor by the beds suggest that it may have been a few days and the hunters were able to sneak up on him because he was more drunk than tired. As he said in SI, it's not like he's usually sleeping much, so that wouldn't have seemed possible otherwise.
But I think their deaths had divine guidance. When Sam asked the hunters who had told them about his starting the apocalypse, it made me feel that they'd gotten a nudge in finding Sam and Dean. Clearly, given the events in Free, they aren't the only hunters looking for the Winchesters. Even back in 3.01, Sam and Dean weren't in the good graces of many of their kind. But I really liked the twist that who kills both Sam and Dean (this time around) isn't a supernatural force at all, but those who would otherwise be comrades in arms. I think there may be more to unpack here in future episodes.
Even though I'd guessed enough about the episode from last week's preview that I expected Sam and Dean would end up dead, I still found Sam's shooting startling, and I love the way it was done. I also liked how the rest of it went. The hunters knew full well they didn't dare leave Dean alive, though my thought was that it wasn't because Dean is so skilled that they were afraid of him. In an episode redolent with the legacy of John Winchester, it seemed instead that they knew too well how revenge driven the Winchesters have been, and didn't want to be the object of that vengeance. And given what Dean says to them, they're probably not wrong. This was the beginning of an episode-long amazing performance by JA, which was also incredibly welcome.
And speaking of what Dean said, I'm convinced he believed what he was saying, that he was certain the angels would return him. I can't remember now if Sam told him that Lucifer promised the same, but I expect he knows that too. Still, knowing Sam would come back and seeing him shot before his eyes is another story. But it suggests to me that Dean has accepted the fact that he's no more ordinary than Sam at this point. That's an interesting transition for the guy who's so used to seeing himself as Joe GED, and who's supposed to be Sam's anchor to humanity. Hopefully, there will be a little more on this in the future as well.
Returning to God's intentions, my feeling is that Dean really didn't get the right message from this experience. Part of that comes from his first scene with Sam. The sweetness of that memory was painful to watch, both in Dean's rusty (and somewhat reluctant) acceptance of Sam's affection, as well as the joy that memory obviously held for him. He felt pleasure in doing something exciting together with Sam, but also in fulfilling his role as awesome big brother. The key phrase there to me was in what Sam said to him, that their father would never have allowed their fun. Yet this was clearly a case where Dean defied John's wishes -- something Sam wanted him to do regularly. In other words, in this memory he was Sam's Dean, not John's perfect soldier. Dean always wanted two completely conflicting things -- to please both John and Sam by fulfilling their expectations of him. Yet he had to fail in this, given John and Sam's opposition. I feel that at least part of Dean's constant sense of failure came from this lifelong dichotomy. As we see later, even before Sam, Dean felt divided between Mary and John. At almost no time would he be able to successfully please both of the important people in his life. For some people like Sam, being constantly pulled in opposite directions would have been expressed in frustration and anger. But for Dean, it seems to have been internalized as self-hatred and it has taken him quite some time to be able to spit out that John was a deadbeat dad, and acknowledge the depth of his disappointment and hurt in Sam.
But this memory with the fireworks also suggests that where Dean's greatest satisfaction lay, was in being Sam's brother and substitute parent. This memory wasn't just about something he shared with Sam, it was something he had given him. And what Dean interprets from Sam's memories is that nothing Dean gave him was ever enough. Little wonder that in the last scene of the episode, he rejects the most symbolic gift Sam ever gave him. If, as he sees it, what Dean gave him was of no value to Sam, then what Sam gave him has become, as Castiel puts it, "worthless" as well.
But I think that both Dean and Sam are falling down on the job when it comes to interpreting what one another are remembering (and feeling) in this episode. In Dean's case, he's overlooking just how committed Sam actually is to him, and the evidence of their unity in their trip through heaven. For example, Castiel is convinced that Sam is with him and that Dean's road will lead to his brother. As we learn from Ash, this isn't at all a given. Yet both Ash and Castiel expect it of both of them and are proved right. And we also have their joint memory of the Cleveland Botanical Garden as their visualization of heaven's core. Sam can't remember the home in Lawrence, Dean can't remember Sam's Thanksgiving hosts, but they're more on the same page than not.
But then, Dean is misreading other things in his life as well. He's surprised that he's in heaven when Castiel first tells him. This may be because he doesn't remember being dead -- just as Sam also thinks he's dreaming. But it's also possible that Dean has always thought he'd end up back in hell if he dies. Certainly if he believes what he told Sam last season, he doesn't think anything can wash those sins away. And yet in this episode, as Joshua tells them, God imparts a last gift to them. They will remember heaven, and the fact that both will end up there if they die again - together. For most people, such knowledge would be an immense comfort. Dean, apparently, can't see any comfort in a heaven where he believes Sam doesn't want to be with him.
The Road of Good Intentions
Of course, Sam is quite surprised to be in heaven himself, and in his case there's no doubt it's because he was sure he no longer deserved to go there. Yet he thinks it's obvious that Dean belongs there. His feelings about Dean are still admiring and unchanged. But Dean's not listening! His immediate reaction to Sam's surprise is to reassure Sam that his burden of starting the apocalypse (which, I might add, is what technically got them both killed) was not an intentional act of evil. At heart, we know, Dean still sees Sam as that younger brother who could take innocent joy in setting a field on fire an evening's light show. But Sam always had deeper issues going on, which had nothing to do with Dean at all, and which, as a fellow child of John's, Dean would have had little power to do anything about, even if he'd recognized and understood them.
For example, freedom is not something Dean grasps in the same way, just as Sam's understanding and feelings about family are enormously different from Dean's. Dean, I imagine, sees the word freedom much as Janis Joplin sang it - as nothing left to lose. He's free if everyone he loves has left him. This isn't something to be reached for, it's something to be prevented at all costs, and to be interpreted as personal rejection if it happens anyway. His perspective on the fireworks night was that it was something they were sharing, something that made Sam happy and made Dean feel fulfilled. But I suspect that what Sam felt about that night was that they were both free from John. They were both doing something they wanted to do, following their own happiness, as it were. And while there surely must have been moments or days of happiness among all three Winchesters, they don't seem to have stuck with either boy.
One of the things Dean doesn't grasp about Sam's Thanksgiving memory is that it wasn't just that he had a full belly of good food for once. He also felt free from the unhappy, closed-in world of the Winchesters' dysfunction. If Dean's shrug at Sam's reminder of what their Thanksgiving actually consisted of is any indication, Sam wasn't exaggerating. But Sam's eternal hunger for more is completely opposite of Dean's constant fear of less. He doesn't even think of reaching out for something else if he might lose his grasp on what's still his. It's not too difficult to figure out why Sam may have always felt confident of Dean, but Dean was forever unsure about Sam and John. Their different experiences color everything they do.
We can see this in the kitchen scene with Mary. Dean, lost in the happiness of Mary's presence, doesn't seem to realize that Sam's sudden urgency in hitting the road has less to do with Castiel's request (which Dean was just urging Sam into only minutes before) than the pain of being unable to connect with Mary and share in her love. For Sam, it's just another example of always being on the outside looking in. It's something that JP conveys well in his restless reluctance to even look at Dean and Mary together, as if he can't bear to see what he's missed. JA is also amazing at giving us a dual visualization of himself as an adult and yet also the child whose memory it is. (Not helping though is wardrobe's decision to stick him in a flannel overshirt. For one thing, it wasn't the style back then, and most youngsters prefer to wear as little as possible. Given Mary's own attire, it clearly wasn't that cold at this time of year so it's an odd choice). Dean has, for his whole life, believed that had Mary not died their family would have been fine. Sam could never share that faith as he was barely able to know Mary, since John and Dean never wanted to talk about her. Their joint loss, which Sam doesn't remember, was something he was forever shut out of. To Sam's mind, it was surely just one more way in which John and Dean were united against him.
Conversely, Sam, as the younger sibling, was never as aware of what Dean's experience had been in the family even before the fire. Dean himself buried those memories. Yet they surface here because, as with his memory of Sam, he is once again fulfilling himself in his role within the family -- this time as a good son. Sam is full of admiration, and compassion, for his big brother. The pain of feeling shut out is replaced by an understanding of how far back the family dynamics went. (And perhaps also, a more dispassionate understanding of how their family's lives might not have been that rosy regardless of the night of his attack). Sam has never grasped how thoroughly Dean was trapped in his role, by how he felt responsible for the happiness of others even before Sam was made his charge. For Sam, being free was simply a decision to make his own way. No one had ever put the responsibility for another person on him, and he also never saw the family, embodied largely by John's control, as something that anyone should want to preserve. For him, Mary had never been its center. Unlike Dean, he would never have felt he was disappointing Mary by walking away from John.
Bu Dean again overlooks what Sam is trying to say to him. Sam is seeing an example of something he came to recognize as fallout from John's irresponsibility. Dean, on the other hand, isn't seeing anything heroic in his behavior. What he's feeling is fear - fear of loss. He's just trying to stop it. Neither Sam nor Dean is recognizing what the other person is actually feeling. Given Sam's anger in the past at Dean always making excuses for John, Dean may even be hearing Sam's words of sadness as another condemnation.
Of course, in the next scene the boys really are poles apart in their memory of Flagstaff. It's very easy to identify with Dean here. The blinding terror of Sam's disappearance, combined with the horror of such a "failure" of responsibility on his part, is probably a recurring theme in every nightmare Dean's ever had. Yet we don't know what made Sam suddenly take off at this particular place and time. Were they about to move again when he didn't want to? Did he fight with Dean? Was it about wanting to have a dog but being told no? Even though Sam's a younger sibling, this scene made me think very strongly of middle child syndrome. Middle kids, among other things, often feel less able to have things that are only theirs. Whether it's hand-me-downs, the privileges given to older siblings and the indulgence of younger ones, or simply being overlooked, it's harder to carve out that space - whether a relationship with one's parents, or items that don't have to be shared with others. Sam's solo adventure here, which is obviously how he remembered it, was his first proof to himself that escape was going to be possible. Of course, Dean is never going to see the eventual crushing defeat of that hope and effort in the same way as Sam does, just as Sam conveniently forgot what the fallout was for Dean of his weeks on his own.
What neither seems to realize is that Sam's constant boundary testing has an ironic effect on Dean's position in the family. The very fact that the family isn't tight knit is what makes Dean's role in it so valuable. If he didn't have to hold on so tightly, he might not know what to do with himself. He's certainly not buying Pamela's line about heaven literally being "a better place" where he can have whatever he wants. Sam, on the other hand, never feels that sense of family at all. All he sees are the individual pieces, each potentially independent of the others. In his moment of realization, Sam wants to talk it out with Dean, to reconcile their memories. But Dean doesn't give him that chance. Instead, one of Dean's worst memories, and one of Sam's greatest triumphs, lies ahead.
What I also wondered is if the next scene was Sam's creation, or Dean's. Dean's memory of Mary was when John left them both (Sam out of sight and out of mind on that one, even though Mary's words make it clear that Sam has already been born). In the next scene, Sam succeeded in leaving Dean. Sam clearly recognizes where they are before Dean, and wants them to move past it quickly, knowing how Dean will see it. This is one memory he's already understood from Dean's side. But I think this isn't the only memory both created jointly. When Mary reappears to them via Zachariah, her discussion of burning and her yellow eyes would seem to be Sam's guilt, rather than Dean's. Sam watched Jess burn -- that whole speech would be just as applicable to him, and his guilt for it would be far clearer than Dean's. Azazel, after all, was never after Dean. He was after Sam. Even though that scene appeared directed at Dean and Sam never said a word, it would seem to be drawn from both their guilt and fears.
Dean says to Sam that it's supposed to be the two of them against the world. But he belies his own words, because when Sam left for Stanford, it wasn't Sam and Dean against the world -- it was Sam against John, with Dean in the middle. There's never been any suggestion that Dean considered going with Sam, or that Sam didn't want them to leave together. Sam insists with Dean that they are together, a team. The fact that they are standing there, having that shared memory, and a moment later on the run together, is just one example of that. Dean doesn't seem to recognize (nor does Sam, who isn't aware of Dean's first memory) that both he and Sam are experiencing moments of self-realization. The difference is that Dean felt these moments within the family, and Sam outside of them. Given Zachariah's words about their limited thinking and God's apparent attempt to help, it seems to me that neither brother was able to move past his own POV enough to change their circumstances, even though they were given the opportunity. Maybe it's also an object lesson to us why Dean doesn't ask for much - be careful what you wish for.
Well, hello again
Ash was not a character who made much of an impression on me one way or another back in S2. I suspect it's because he struck me as rather one-note. But I really enjoyed seeing him here, and thought he was put to perfect use as heaven's hacker. That he would also be a great partner-in-crime with Pamela seems dope smackably obvious in retrospect. Had anyone written Ash/Pamela before this? Boat missed if that wasn't the case.
Ash had a lot of exposition to deliver here, not unlike Casey in Sin City. Yet Ash being Ash, this was all done with a light enough touch that it seemed conversational rather than hitting bullet points. Well done, by both the writers and actor.
Less well done was some confusing continuity stuff. I loved Ash's references to their multiple deaths, a clear acknowledgment that Sam had been there in 2.22 -- and possibly in Wishing and Song as well, since he has now died four times. But I wouldn't have thought either of those instances long enough for him to make that journey away and back while still being spotted by Ash. Dean, makes even less sense. In 2.01 he never went anywhere. And after S3 he was in hell, which one supposes was out of Ash's jurisdiction. It made me wonder if the "missing piece" of himself Dean referred to, was missing because it was never in hell to start with. Because otherwise Ash shouldn't have come across him before. Hmmm.
I was grateful for Ellen and Jo receiving a few moments of remembrance, as well as having Pamela be the one to talk to Dean. One thing that's so interesting about that is that it signals Dean isn't just letting his own baggage overpower what Sam is saying, he does it with Pamela as well. He's been carrying the guilt over her death and letting it drive him to despair. Back in Pin, Sam told him to get angry instead of giving up. Dean showed no signs of complying, yet in effect, Castiel forced him to do just that. It made me wonder if Dean's big problem is that he doesn't trust himself anymore, and thus can no longer trust anyone else. In any case, Dean doesn't buy Pamela's letting him off the hook for her death, or her suggestion that perhaps he should look at events from a different angle (something which all of his and Sam's memories were forcing both to do!) Instead, he is already stuck in the hopeless rut, dismissing Ellen and Jo's final stand, dismissing Pamela's experience of happiness, and even Ash's release of liability for his own death.
Of course, one thing to remember is that Dean has been on more than one angel journey in the past few years. It wouldn't be surprising if a part of him didn't believe that anything he was experiencing in heaven was real. But surprisingly, the only time that's alluded to is when Zachariah makes clear that Mary is only Dean's memory of her, not Mary herself.
Speaking of Zachariah, Kurt Fuller certainly knocked his scene with them out of the park. What a great line about him being petty. I'm also curious about who he's taking his orders from. Michael seemed to be absent, Gabriel was playing hooky, and Rafael seemed to be in a pit of depression. Who is it that's giving these orders?
Not Joshua at any rate. I liked the gardening metaphor. To me it was a callback to Lucifer's love of the earth in The End, where he admires God's non-human creations as his greatest achievement. One would assume that it was modeled after heaven's garden, which is Joshua's domain as God's favorite. I thought, perhaps, that Joshua's line that he and God speak because they're talking "one gardener to another" might be a bit of a clue about God's whereabouts and activities on earth.
On their return to the motel, Dean couldn't seem to wait to share the bad news. Castiel gets only a minor role here, but a significant one. That "I don't need this anymore. It's worthless" is him giving voice to Dean's emotional departure from Sam, just as moments earlier he gave voice to Dean's feelings about God. What's significant is that both have just lost faith in the single things that have driven them all their lives (which is a whole lot longer in Castiel's case). What sort of people are going to be left behind? I would expect, the hollow people we found in The End.
Kripked!
This episode seemed full of allusions to fics for me. No doubt for other people it may be different fics, depending on what one reads. But these are some déjà vu moments I had. (If anyone remembers the fics in question, let me know so I can link them).
1) Dean's heaven metaphor is a road. Kind of a no brainer, yes, but I read a fic where the same thing occurred. Dean is dead, following an endless road, and keeps finding Sam on it, but he doesn’t recognize him. (The Next Town by Kres.)
2) The revelation of John and Mary's separation (and what a great line, "It wasn't perfect until after she died") made me blink. Although the timing was different (prior to Dean's birth, as I recall), I immediately thought of dodger_winslow's story about a similar event between Mary and John. It made me wonder what their fight was about because the theme seemed similar as well.
3) Runaway Sam. I have no specific fic that this recalled, but I've seen the idea explored various times.
A lot of people haven't liked Dabb and Loflin's episodes, but I've always found them largely rewarding. ASS and I Believe were, to me, emotionally rich episodes with a lot more going on between Sam and Dean than in many other ones these past two seasons. And JtS was one of my favorite episodes of S4, mining, as did ASS and this episode, Sam and Dean's past and, importantly, separate histories in the family. YF was indeed a misfire, for both characters. I cut the writers some slack though, as it was their first episode and the balance between serious and humorous was really off, and, worse still, the funny wasn't actually funny, given what was at the root of Dean's experience. But I think they nailed this one all the way down the line. I don't know if they're continuing on next season, but given the staff departures already in the works, we could do worse than get more of their episodes.
Also, I have no idea how the 100th episode is going to top this one, but I hope they try.
Assorted Thoughts
1) I'd wondered for a moment if these hunters were the same ones from Free, but it doesn't sound like it. But it is interesting how many hunters Dean and Sam know, given that we so rarely see them interacting with any. Back in S1 "Dad's contacts" could have meant anyone, and we saw people like Missouri and Pastor Jim, who knew about what's what but weren't necessarily hunters. Even Bobby didn't seem to be a rambling man, so to speak, until we saw him off on his own case in Dream. So I found it an interesting touch, in an episode which is so heavy on Sam and Dean's past, that they're taken out by people they both know.
2) Give that editor a raise for the inspired title card appearance cut into Dean's shooting.
3) "There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark." Boy, how true is that of SPN as a whole? But yeah, the lyrics to Eclipse are amazingly apt for this episode as well as a great commentary on the (hidden?) arc of the whole series. I told someone this past week that I'd been thinking one of the BSG catchphrases, "All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again" could have been said of the apocalypse arc in S5. In fact, both series have a lot of issues in common at this point (albeit a completely different approach).
4) Obviously "Heaven's Door" was just a perfect song to start Act 1 on, but I also found it an interesting second appearance for this track. After all, in this episode God's existence is confirmed. The last time we heard it, Dean started having a glimmer of faith, just as Sam was losing his in light of the episode's false angel. Instead, we end this episode with a complete reversal of HotH. Not only is it Sam attempting to bolster Dean's spirits, but Dean's deepest faith, in family, is at a seeming end. But in HotH, both brothers are meeting in the middle of their divide on religion, which for each, sprang from their separate experiences in childhood.
That said, I rather wonder if the writers wanted to use tracks from Dark Side during the fireworks scene but couldn't afford it (for some reason, captions were not working in this episode). Because, I would be plenty amused at Sam and Dean putting on a laser light show to Pink Floyd.
5) Loved seeing Dean back in the leather jacket. Loved seeing Colin Ford, who remains awesome as young Sam. I really hope in S6 we get more flashbacks, both because I love flashback episodes and because I think he can continue doing a lot with the role.
6) After the discussion at the con last weekend, it's hard to believe that one scene of Dean and young Sam took over 10 hours to shoot. I'm assuming though, that it had to do with all sorts of other delays since the clock must start running from the time the child's in makeup.
7) I was about ready to bawl when those fireworks started going off. It seems significant to me that nowhere do we see a more recent memory of Sam from Dean. Obviously, that would have been problematic from a production perspective, since no way does JP look anything near adolescent anymore (in fact he barely looked younger than his girlfriend's father at the dinner table). But I think it worked rather well on the story front, too. The scene of Dean with Mary was also as painful for me to watch as it was for Sam.
8) I loved various directing touches in this episode, among them the reflection of Dean in the Impala. It reminds me of the article on the Impala as mediator of Sam and Dean's relationship in TWC that I recced a few posts back. The reflection was a great visual shorthand, showing us how this recent scene was a reflection of Dean, rather than anything to do with Sam. It's also interesting that earlier this season we saw Sam embodied in the Impala, speaking through the radio. And here, we see Castiel doing the same. In Changing Channels, Sam and Dean were working together in the best of ways when Sam was the car. And by the end of this episode, it's Dean and Castiel who are very much on the same page.
9) "Condolences." HEE! Castiel, master of the understatement. We've seen Castiel appear in a dream or two of Dean's, but it's interesting to hear that it apparently happens more often.
10) One of the "huh?" moments of the episode is how Castiel knew so quickly that both were dead when. as we see at the end, Dean still has to call him to let him know their location. I'm going to fanwank it as follows. Clearly, Sam and Dean returned to a point soon after they died. Otherwise, no way would they not have given some poor housekeeper a conniption and ended up in the morgue had they been dead for days. So while they may have been returned to the same evening they were killed, in real time both had been dead for days and someone was tipped off. My bet is on Bobby, either hearing through the grapevine that Sam and Dean had been murdered, picking up a news story about the gangland style killing in wherever the heck they were, or, most likely, from being their emergency contact the way Dean was his. This would also have put him in possession of Dean's phone and a way to contact Castiel, or being contacted by Castiel. Once realizing they were dead, Castiel would have known how to reach them in heaven. Another thing is that Sam and Dean, like everyone who dies, surely went through the whole process with a Reaper to end up in heaven. I can see this having taken time, since Dean in particular wanted to be back on earth, so he and Sam may not have been the most willing of subjects. I wonder if the same Reaper would come for both? And since Castiel can see and communicate with Reapers, perhaps that's how he was able to hunt Sam and Dean down. Who knows, maybe Tessa was involved again. Someone should write this fic!
11) Loved that night scene of the Impala driving off to the starry horizon. I predict it's a shot that will be thousands of people's computer wallpapers this weekend!
12) McKinley, huh? Dabb and Loflin have a thing about presidential schools. And go Sam, finding a girlfriend only two weeks into school! Not exactly the loser Dean always portrayed him to be. I was amused both by a teenage girl getting the opportunity to grope JP and Sam sitting at a table full of food and still not eating anything in the scene! Though it is rather interesting that in two of the memories we see from him, food is apparently important.
13) I couldn't help wondering where Sam got the dress shirt, tie and pants to go to dinner in. Doesn't seem like the sort of thing the Winchesters would normally be carting around -- at least in Sam's preteen years.
14) Castiel's appearance in the TV was a fun Poltergeist shoutout, but I liked what it also said about Earth being a form of hell -- since if Castiel were able to suck Sam and Dean through the TV that's where they'd go.
15) What a difference lighting makes. I was reminded of JA's comments on Serge Ladoceur when thinking about the very different faces of Mary Winchester in this episode. She looks so beautiful in that first shot of her looking into Dean's bedroom, and curiously years younger than she later appears in her more evil incarnation. At the same time, Zachariah looks positively demonic from nothing more than green light.
16) Interesting that we never see John in this episode, even though he is mentioned in each of the memories they experience. Similarly, the whole thing about John leaving his wife and young sons seemed to suggest (yet again) that the whole God/John parallel may be quite literal. Otherwise, (since the actress was present) why would Mary and John both be absent from heaven?
17) I wondered if the postcard wall in Flagstaff contained any of the fan postcards sent to the Burnaby studio.
18) I thought Zachariah's comment about their lack of "out of the box" thinking was telling. It echoed to me, the entire message Gabriel seemed to be sending them in Changing Channels, where they only grasped in a limited way their inherent ability to alter reality in their favor. In fact, there was a lot here that recalled CC to me.
19) This was a lot of sets for the production designer this episode. Nicely done to all involved. My favorite bit was seeing the Roadhouse once again.
20) Ha, love the way JA looked at his beer dubiously after Ash slurps his! I got the sense both JA and JP were having a hard time not laughing through Ash's Disney speech. They were very deliberately not looking at him.
21) I was confused by one thing cinematography wise. I kept getting the impression that Sam was being shot in soft focus. In the Thanksgiving scene when he and Dean are talking, he's backlit with a blue light, making him very washed out whereas Dean is more clearly lit with color. Then in the scene in the Roadhouse, Sam seems fuzzy.
22) Heh to Pamela grabbing a kiss before they left. Seriously, what's heaven if you can't make out with a Dean Winchester? And given what Ash said, Dean now literally has a woman in every port.
23) How poignant that when Mary reappears, Dean struggles to turn his back on her. Also, does he say "Sammy" for the first time since the fireworks scene? As with the kitchen scene, we can see him regressing here.
24) Mike had two observations about the episode. The first is that Dean has moved up from twins to triplets. The second was that in the final scene, the buttons on Sam's shirt were in the pattern of a cross.
Comments at Dreamwidth
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Mysterious Ways
God might be finished with them now, but it seems clear that he was listening to Dean at the end of MBV. Unfortunately, what help was given just didn't match what Dean was expecting. He wanted to be able to stop the apocalypse, he wanted to be able to kill Lucifer, he wanted badly to be left alone by demons and angels alike, and surely he wanted to repair things with Sam so that they could go back to how they once were. But in all but the last of these, God had no answers for him.
God doesn't seem to care about the apocalypse, and Lucifer might be contained once more, but Joshua suggested that there was no way to kill him - something Castiel had already told Dean. Certainly, Zachariah promised to be Dean and Sam's enemy forever, and in heaven there seems to be little escape from the angels. Dean doesn't want to return to hell but doesn't see heaven as a great alternative. Pamela told him there could be peace, but it wasn't the sort of hereafter Dean wanted. In 2.01 he was about to say yes to Tessa, but more because he wanted to spare other people pain and hurt (that he would dish out as a ghost) than because he really wanted to go. One has to wonder if there is any possibility of peace for Dean, or if, as in WIaWSNB, he will continually bring his inner hell with him. Dean is not a man who has much truck with illusion.
But I do think this experience was meant to help both Sam and Dean. Not surprisingly, Dean and Castiel, the ones who had the most faith all along, are the ones most devastated by this turn of events -- even though they're the ones God took action for, bringing both back from the dead. How God regards Sam is less clear, because it's possible his being saved both in 5.01 as well as being rewarded with heaven had more to do with Dean than with Sam himself.
There's no telling how long this was after MBV, so Dean may have been sleeping the sleep of the truly exhausted. The liquor by the beds suggest that it may have been a few days and the hunters were able to sneak up on him because he was more drunk than tired. As he said in SI, it's not like he's usually sleeping much, so that wouldn't have seemed possible otherwise.
But I think their deaths had divine guidance. When Sam asked the hunters who had told them about his starting the apocalypse, it made me feel that they'd gotten a nudge in finding Sam and Dean. Clearly, given the events in Free, they aren't the only hunters looking for the Winchesters. Even back in 3.01, Sam and Dean weren't in the good graces of many of their kind. But I really liked the twist that who kills both Sam and Dean (this time around) isn't a supernatural force at all, but those who would otherwise be comrades in arms. I think there may be more to unpack here in future episodes.
Even though I'd guessed enough about the episode from last week's preview that I expected Sam and Dean would end up dead, I still found Sam's shooting startling, and I love the way it was done. I also liked how the rest of it went. The hunters knew full well they didn't dare leave Dean alive, though my thought was that it wasn't because Dean is so skilled that they were afraid of him. In an episode redolent with the legacy of John Winchester, it seemed instead that they knew too well how revenge driven the Winchesters have been, and didn't want to be the object of that vengeance. And given what Dean says to them, they're probably not wrong. This was the beginning of an episode-long amazing performance by JA, which was also incredibly welcome.
And speaking of what Dean said, I'm convinced he believed what he was saying, that he was certain the angels would return him. I can't remember now if Sam told him that Lucifer promised the same, but I expect he knows that too. Still, knowing Sam would come back and seeing him shot before his eyes is another story. But it suggests to me that Dean has accepted the fact that he's no more ordinary than Sam at this point. That's an interesting transition for the guy who's so used to seeing himself as Joe GED, and who's supposed to be Sam's anchor to humanity. Hopefully, there will be a little more on this in the future as well.
Returning to God's intentions, my feeling is that Dean really didn't get the right message from this experience. Part of that comes from his first scene with Sam. The sweetness of that memory was painful to watch, both in Dean's rusty (and somewhat reluctant) acceptance of Sam's affection, as well as the joy that memory obviously held for him. He felt pleasure in doing something exciting together with Sam, but also in fulfilling his role as awesome big brother. The key phrase there to me was in what Sam said to him, that their father would never have allowed their fun. Yet this was clearly a case where Dean defied John's wishes -- something Sam wanted him to do regularly. In other words, in this memory he was Sam's Dean, not John's perfect soldier. Dean always wanted two completely conflicting things -- to please both John and Sam by fulfilling their expectations of him. Yet he had to fail in this, given John and Sam's opposition. I feel that at least part of Dean's constant sense of failure came from this lifelong dichotomy. As we see later, even before Sam, Dean felt divided between Mary and John. At almost no time would he be able to successfully please both of the important people in his life. For some people like Sam, being constantly pulled in opposite directions would have been expressed in frustration and anger. But for Dean, it seems to have been internalized as self-hatred and it has taken him quite some time to be able to spit out that John was a deadbeat dad, and acknowledge the depth of his disappointment and hurt in Sam.
But this memory with the fireworks also suggests that where Dean's greatest satisfaction lay, was in being Sam's brother and substitute parent. This memory wasn't just about something he shared with Sam, it was something he had given him. And what Dean interprets from Sam's memories is that nothing Dean gave him was ever enough. Little wonder that in the last scene of the episode, he rejects the most symbolic gift Sam ever gave him. If, as he sees it, what Dean gave him was of no value to Sam, then what Sam gave him has become, as Castiel puts it, "worthless" as well.
But I think that both Dean and Sam are falling down on the job when it comes to interpreting what one another are remembering (and feeling) in this episode. In Dean's case, he's overlooking just how committed Sam actually is to him, and the evidence of their unity in their trip through heaven. For example, Castiel is convinced that Sam is with him and that Dean's road will lead to his brother. As we learn from Ash, this isn't at all a given. Yet both Ash and Castiel expect it of both of them and are proved right. And we also have their joint memory of the Cleveland Botanical Garden as their visualization of heaven's core. Sam can't remember the home in Lawrence, Dean can't remember Sam's Thanksgiving hosts, but they're more on the same page than not.
But then, Dean is misreading other things in his life as well. He's surprised that he's in heaven when Castiel first tells him. This may be because he doesn't remember being dead -- just as Sam also thinks he's dreaming. But it's also possible that Dean has always thought he'd end up back in hell if he dies. Certainly if he believes what he told Sam last season, he doesn't think anything can wash those sins away. And yet in this episode, as Joshua tells them, God imparts a last gift to them. They will remember heaven, and the fact that both will end up there if they die again - together. For most people, such knowledge would be an immense comfort. Dean, apparently, can't see any comfort in a heaven where he believes Sam doesn't want to be with him.
The Road of Good Intentions
Of course, Sam is quite surprised to be in heaven himself, and in his case there's no doubt it's because he was sure he no longer deserved to go there. Yet he thinks it's obvious that Dean belongs there. His feelings about Dean are still admiring and unchanged. But Dean's not listening! His immediate reaction to Sam's surprise is to reassure Sam that his burden of starting the apocalypse (which, I might add, is what technically got them both killed) was not an intentional act of evil. At heart, we know, Dean still sees Sam as that younger brother who could take innocent joy in setting a field on fire an evening's light show. But Sam always had deeper issues going on, which had nothing to do with Dean at all, and which, as a fellow child of John's, Dean would have had little power to do anything about, even if he'd recognized and understood them.
For example, freedom is not something Dean grasps in the same way, just as Sam's understanding and feelings about family are enormously different from Dean's. Dean, I imagine, sees the word freedom much as Janis Joplin sang it - as nothing left to lose. He's free if everyone he loves has left him. This isn't something to be reached for, it's something to be prevented at all costs, and to be interpreted as personal rejection if it happens anyway. His perspective on the fireworks night was that it was something they were sharing, something that made Sam happy and made Dean feel fulfilled. But I suspect that what Sam felt about that night was that they were both free from John. They were both doing something they wanted to do, following their own happiness, as it were. And while there surely must have been moments or days of happiness among all three Winchesters, they don't seem to have stuck with either boy.
One of the things Dean doesn't grasp about Sam's Thanksgiving memory is that it wasn't just that he had a full belly of good food for once. He also felt free from the unhappy, closed-in world of the Winchesters' dysfunction. If Dean's shrug at Sam's reminder of what their Thanksgiving actually consisted of is any indication, Sam wasn't exaggerating. But Sam's eternal hunger for more is completely opposite of Dean's constant fear of less. He doesn't even think of reaching out for something else if he might lose his grasp on what's still his. It's not too difficult to figure out why Sam may have always felt confident of Dean, but Dean was forever unsure about Sam and John. Their different experiences color everything they do.
We can see this in the kitchen scene with Mary. Dean, lost in the happiness of Mary's presence, doesn't seem to realize that Sam's sudden urgency in hitting the road has less to do with Castiel's request (which Dean was just urging Sam into only minutes before) than the pain of being unable to connect with Mary and share in her love. For Sam, it's just another example of always being on the outside looking in. It's something that JP conveys well in his restless reluctance to even look at Dean and Mary together, as if he can't bear to see what he's missed. JA is also amazing at giving us a dual visualization of himself as an adult and yet also the child whose memory it is. (Not helping though is wardrobe's decision to stick him in a flannel overshirt. For one thing, it wasn't the style back then, and most youngsters prefer to wear as little as possible. Given Mary's own attire, it clearly wasn't that cold at this time of year so it's an odd choice). Dean has, for his whole life, believed that had Mary not died their family would have been fine. Sam could never share that faith as he was barely able to know Mary, since John and Dean never wanted to talk about her. Their joint loss, which Sam doesn't remember, was something he was forever shut out of. To Sam's mind, it was surely just one more way in which John and Dean were united against him.
Conversely, Sam, as the younger sibling, was never as aware of what Dean's experience had been in the family even before the fire. Dean himself buried those memories. Yet they surface here because, as with his memory of Sam, he is once again fulfilling himself in his role within the family -- this time as a good son. Sam is full of admiration, and compassion, for his big brother. The pain of feeling shut out is replaced by an understanding of how far back the family dynamics went. (And perhaps also, a more dispassionate understanding of how their family's lives might not have been that rosy regardless of the night of his attack). Sam has never grasped how thoroughly Dean was trapped in his role, by how he felt responsible for the happiness of others even before Sam was made his charge. For Sam, being free was simply a decision to make his own way. No one had ever put the responsibility for another person on him, and he also never saw the family, embodied largely by John's control, as something that anyone should want to preserve. For him, Mary had never been its center. Unlike Dean, he would never have felt he was disappointing Mary by walking away from John.
Bu Dean again overlooks what Sam is trying to say to him. Sam is seeing an example of something he came to recognize as fallout from John's irresponsibility. Dean, on the other hand, isn't seeing anything heroic in his behavior. What he's feeling is fear - fear of loss. He's just trying to stop it. Neither Sam nor Dean is recognizing what the other person is actually feeling. Given Sam's anger in the past at Dean always making excuses for John, Dean may even be hearing Sam's words of sadness as another condemnation.
Of course, in the next scene the boys really are poles apart in their memory of Flagstaff. It's very easy to identify with Dean here. The blinding terror of Sam's disappearance, combined with the horror of such a "failure" of responsibility on his part, is probably a recurring theme in every nightmare Dean's ever had. Yet we don't know what made Sam suddenly take off at this particular place and time. Were they about to move again when he didn't want to? Did he fight with Dean? Was it about wanting to have a dog but being told no? Even though Sam's a younger sibling, this scene made me think very strongly of middle child syndrome. Middle kids, among other things, often feel less able to have things that are only theirs. Whether it's hand-me-downs, the privileges given to older siblings and the indulgence of younger ones, or simply being overlooked, it's harder to carve out that space - whether a relationship with one's parents, or items that don't have to be shared with others. Sam's solo adventure here, which is obviously how he remembered it, was his first proof to himself that escape was going to be possible. Of course, Dean is never going to see the eventual crushing defeat of that hope and effort in the same way as Sam does, just as Sam conveniently forgot what the fallout was for Dean of his weeks on his own.
What neither seems to realize is that Sam's constant boundary testing has an ironic effect on Dean's position in the family. The very fact that the family isn't tight knit is what makes Dean's role in it so valuable. If he didn't have to hold on so tightly, he might not know what to do with himself. He's certainly not buying Pamela's line about heaven literally being "a better place" where he can have whatever he wants. Sam, on the other hand, never feels that sense of family at all. All he sees are the individual pieces, each potentially independent of the others. In his moment of realization, Sam wants to talk it out with Dean, to reconcile their memories. But Dean doesn't give him that chance. Instead, one of Dean's worst memories, and one of Sam's greatest triumphs, lies ahead.
What I also wondered is if the next scene was Sam's creation, or Dean's. Dean's memory of Mary was when John left them both (Sam out of sight and out of mind on that one, even though Mary's words make it clear that Sam has already been born). In the next scene, Sam succeeded in leaving Dean. Sam clearly recognizes where they are before Dean, and wants them to move past it quickly, knowing how Dean will see it. This is one memory he's already understood from Dean's side. But I think this isn't the only memory both created jointly. When Mary reappears to them via Zachariah, her discussion of burning and her yellow eyes would seem to be Sam's guilt, rather than Dean's. Sam watched Jess burn -- that whole speech would be just as applicable to him, and his guilt for it would be far clearer than Dean's. Azazel, after all, was never after Dean. He was after Sam. Even though that scene appeared directed at Dean and Sam never said a word, it would seem to be drawn from both their guilt and fears.
Dean says to Sam that it's supposed to be the two of them against the world. But he belies his own words, because when Sam left for Stanford, it wasn't Sam and Dean against the world -- it was Sam against John, with Dean in the middle. There's never been any suggestion that Dean considered going with Sam, or that Sam didn't want them to leave together. Sam insists with Dean that they are together, a team. The fact that they are standing there, having that shared memory, and a moment later on the run together, is just one example of that. Dean doesn't seem to recognize (nor does Sam, who isn't aware of Dean's first memory) that both he and Sam are experiencing moments of self-realization. The difference is that Dean felt these moments within the family, and Sam outside of them. Given Zachariah's words about their limited thinking and God's apparent attempt to help, it seems to me that neither brother was able to move past his own POV enough to change their circumstances, even though they were given the opportunity. Maybe it's also an object lesson to us why Dean doesn't ask for much - be careful what you wish for.
Well, hello again
Ash was not a character who made much of an impression on me one way or another back in S2. I suspect it's because he struck me as rather one-note. But I really enjoyed seeing him here, and thought he was put to perfect use as heaven's hacker. That he would also be a great partner-in-crime with Pamela seems dope smackably obvious in retrospect. Had anyone written Ash/Pamela before this? Boat missed if that wasn't the case.
Ash had a lot of exposition to deliver here, not unlike Casey in Sin City. Yet Ash being Ash, this was all done with a light enough touch that it seemed conversational rather than hitting bullet points. Well done, by both the writers and actor.
Less well done was some confusing continuity stuff. I loved Ash's references to their multiple deaths, a clear acknowledgment that Sam had been there in 2.22 -- and possibly in Wishing and Song as well, since he has now died four times. But I wouldn't have thought either of those instances long enough for him to make that journey away and back while still being spotted by Ash. Dean, makes even less sense. In 2.01 he never went anywhere. And after S3 he was in hell, which one supposes was out of Ash's jurisdiction. It made me wonder if the "missing piece" of himself Dean referred to, was missing because it was never in hell to start with. Because otherwise Ash shouldn't have come across him before. Hmmm.
I was grateful for Ellen and Jo receiving a few moments of remembrance, as well as having Pamela be the one to talk to Dean. One thing that's so interesting about that is that it signals Dean isn't just letting his own baggage overpower what Sam is saying, he does it with Pamela as well. He's been carrying the guilt over her death and letting it drive him to despair. Back in Pin, Sam told him to get angry instead of giving up. Dean showed no signs of complying, yet in effect, Castiel forced him to do just that. It made me wonder if Dean's big problem is that he doesn't trust himself anymore, and thus can no longer trust anyone else. In any case, Dean doesn't buy Pamela's letting him off the hook for her death, or her suggestion that perhaps he should look at events from a different angle (something which all of his and Sam's memories were forcing both to do!) Instead, he is already stuck in the hopeless rut, dismissing Ellen and Jo's final stand, dismissing Pamela's experience of happiness, and even Ash's release of liability for his own death.
Of course, one thing to remember is that Dean has been on more than one angel journey in the past few years. It wouldn't be surprising if a part of him didn't believe that anything he was experiencing in heaven was real. But surprisingly, the only time that's alluded to is when Zachariah makes clear that Mary is only Dean's memory of her, not Mary herself.
Speaking of Zachariah, Kurt Fuller certainly knocked his scene with them out of the park. What a great line about him being petty. I'm also curious about who he's taking his orders from. Michael seemed to be absent, Gabriel was playing hooky, and Rafael seemed to be in a pit of depression. Who is it that's giving these orders?
Not Joshua at any rate. I liked the gardening metaphor. To me it was a callback to Lucifer's love of the earth in The End, where he admires God's non-human creations as his greatest achievement. One would assume that it was modeled after heaven's garden, which is Joshua's domain as God's favorite. I thought, perhaps, that Joshua's line that he and God speak because they're talking "one gardener to another" might be a bit of a clue about God's whereabouts and activities on earth.
On their return to the motel, Dean couldn't seem to wait to share the bad news. Castiel gets only a minor role here, but a significant one. That "I don't need this anymore. It's worthless" is him giving voice to Dean's emotional departure from Sam, just as moments earlier he gave voice to Dean's feelings about God. What's significant is that both have just lost faith in the single things that have driven them all their lives (which is a whole lot longer in Castiel's case). What sort of people are going to be left behind? I would expect, the hollow people we found in The End.
Kripked!
This episode seemed full of allusions to fics for me. No doubt for other people it may be different fics, depending on what one reads. But these are some déjà vu moments I had. (If anyone remembers the fics in question, let me know so I can link them).
1) Dean's heaven metaphor is a road. Kind of a no brainer, yes, but I read a fic where the same thing occurred. Dean is dead, following an endless road, and keeps finding Sam on it, but he doesn’t recognize him. (The Next Town by Kres.)
2) The revelation of John and Mary's separation (and what a great line, "It wasn't perfect until after she died") made me blink. Although the timing was different (prior to Dean's birth, as I recall), I immediately thought of dodger_winslow's story about a similar event between Mary and John. It made me wonder what their fight was about because the theme seemed similar as well.
3) Runaway Sam. I have no specific fic that this recalled, but I've seen the idea explored various times.
A lot of people haven't liked Dabb and Loflin's episodes, but I've always found them largely rewarding. ASS and I Believe were, to me, emotionally rich episodes with a lot more going on between Sam and Dean than in many other ones these past two seasons. And JtS was one of my favorite episodes of S4, mining, as did ASS and this episode, Sam and Dean's past and, importantly, separate histories in the family. YF was indeed a misfire, for both characters. I cut the writers some slack though, as it was their first episode and the balance between serious and humorous was really off, and, worse still, the funny wasn't actually funny, given what was at the root of Dean's experience. But I think they nailed this one all the way down the line. I don't know if they're continuing on next season, but given the staff departures already in the works, we could do worse than get more of their episodes.
Also, I have no idea how the 100th episode is going to top this one, but I hope they try.
Assorted Thoughts
1) I'd wondered for a moment if these hunters were the same ones from Free, but it doesn't sound like it. But it is interesting how many hunters Dean and Sam know, given that we so rarely see them interacting with any. Back in S1 "Dad's contacts" could have meant anyone, and we saw people like Missouri and Pastor Jim, who knew about what's what but weren't necessarily hunters. Even Bobby didn't seem to be a rambling man, so to speak, until we saw him off on his own case in Dream. So I found it an interesting touch, in an episode which is so heavy on Sam and Dean's past, that they're taken out by people they both know.
2) Give that editor a raise for the inspired title card appearance cut into Dean's shooting.
3) "There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark." Boy, how true is that of SPN as a whole? But yeah, the lyrics to Eclipse are amazingly apt for this episode as well as a great commentary on the (hidden?) arc of the whole series. I told someone this past week that I'd been thinking one of the BSG catchphrases, "All of this has happened before, and all of it will happen again" could have been said of the apocalypse arc in S5. In fact, both series have a lot of issues in common at this point (albeit a completely different approach).
4) Obviously "Heaven's Door" was just a perfect song to start Act 1 on, but I also found it an interesting second appearance for this track. After all, in this episode God's existence is confirmed. The last time we heard it, Dean started having a glimmer of faith, just as Sam was losing his in light of the episode's false angel. Instead, we end this episode with a complete reversal of HotH. Not only is it Sam attempting to bolster Dean's spirits, but Dean's deepest faith, in family, is at a seeming end. But in HotH, both brothers are meeting in the middle of their divide on religion, which for each, sprang from their separate experiences in childhood.
That said, I rather wonder if the writers wanted to use tracks from Dark Side during the fireworks scene but couldn't afford it (for some reason, captions were not working in this episode). Because, I would be plenty amused at Sam and Dean putting on a laser light show to Pink Floyd.
5) Loved seeing Dean back in the leather jacket. Loved seeing Colin Ford, who remains awesome as young Sam. I really hope in S6 we get more flashbacks, both because I love flashback episodes and because I think he can continue doing a lot with the role.
6) After the discussion at the con last weekend, it's hard to believe that one scene of Dean and young Sam took over 10 hours to shoot. I'm assuming though, that it had to do with all sorts of other delays since the clock must start running from the time the child's in makeup.
7) I was about ready to bawl when those fireworks started going off. It seems significant to me that nowhere do we see a more recent memory of Sam from Dean. Obviously, that would have been problematic from a production perspective, since no way does JP look anything near adolescent anymore (in fact he barely looked younger than his girlfriend's father at the dinner table). But I think it worked rather well on the story front, too. The scene of Dean with Mary was also as painful for me to watch as it was for Sam.
8) I loved various directing touches in this episode, among them the reflection of Dean in the Impala. It reminds me of the article on the Impala as mediator of Sam and Dean's relationship in TWC that I recced a few posts back. The reflection was a great visual shorthand, showing us how this recent scene was a reflection of Dean, rather than anything to do with Sam. It's also interesting that earlier this season we saw Sam embodied in the Impala, speaking through the radio. And here, we see Castiel doing the same. In Changing Channels, Sam and Dean were working together in the best of ways when Sam was the car. And by the end of this episode, it's Dean and Castiel who are very much on the same page.
9) "Condolences." HEE! Castiel, master of the understatement. We've seen Castiel appear in a dream or two of Dean's, but it's interesting to hear that it apparently happens more often.
10) One of the "huh?" moments of the episode is how Castiel knew so quickly that both were dead when. as we see at the end, Dean still has to call him to let him know their location. I'm going to fanwank it as follows. Clearly, Sam and Dean returned to a point soon after they died. Otherwise, no way would they not have given some poor housekeeper a conniption and ended up in the morgue had they been dead for days. So while they may have been returned to the same evening they were killed, in real time both had been dead for days and someone was tipped off. My bet is on Bobby, either hearing through the grapevine that Sam and Dean had been murdered, picking up a news story about the gangland style killing in wherever the heck they were, or, most likely, from being their emergency contact the way Dean was his. This would also have put him in possession of Dean's phone and a way to contact Castiel, or being contacted by Castiel. Once realizing they were dead, Castiel would have known how to reach them in heaven. Another thing is that Sam and Dean, like everyone who dies, surely went through the whole process with a Reaper to end up in heaven. I can see this having taken time, since Dean in particular wanted to be back on earth, so he and Sam may not have been the most willing of subjects. I wonder if the same Reaper would come for both? And since Castiel can see and communicate with Reapers, perhaps that's how he was able to hunt Sam and Dean down. Who knows, maybe Tessa was involved again. Someone should write this fic!
11) Loved that night scene of the Impala driving off to the starry horizon. I predict it's a shot that will be thousands of people's computer wallpapers this weekend!
12) McKinley, huh? Dabb and Loflin have a thing about presidential schools. And go Sam, finding a girlfriend only two weeks into school! Not exactly the loser Dean always portrayed him to be. I was amused both by a teenage girl getting the opportunity to grope JP and Sam sitting at a table full of food and still not eating anything in the scene! Though it is rather interesting that in two of the memories we see from him, food is apparently important.
13) I couldn't help wondering where Sam got the dress shirt, tie and pants to go to dinner in. Doesn't seem like the sort of thing the Winchesters would normally be carting around -- at least in Sam's preteen years.
14) Castiel's appearance in the TV was a fun Poltergeist shoutout, but I liked what it also said about Earth being a form of hell -- since if Castiel were able to suck Sam and Dean through the TV that's where they'd go.
15) What a difference lighting makes. I was reminded of JA's comments on Serge Ladoceur when thinking about the very different faces of Mary Winchester in this episode. She looks so beautiful in that first shot of her looking into Dean's bedroom, and curiously years younger than she later appears in her more evil incarnation. At the same time, Zachariah looks positively demonic from nothing more than green light.
16) Interesting that we never see John in this episode, even though he is mentioned in each of the memories they experience. Similarly, the whole thing about John leaving his wife and young sons seemed to suggest (yet again) that the whole God/John parallel may be quite literal. Otherwise, (since the actress was present) why would Mary and John both be absent from heaven?
17) I wondered if the postcard wall in Flagstaff contained any of the fan postcards sent to the Burnaby studio.
18) I thought Zachariah's comment about their lack of "out of the box" thinking was telling. It echoed to me, the entire message Gabriel seemed to be sending them in Changing Channels, where they only grasped in a limited way their inherent ability to alter reality in their favor. In fact, there was a lot here that recalled CC to me.
19) This was a lot of sets for the production designer this episode. Nicely done to all involved. My favorite bit was seeing the Roadhouse once again.
20) Ha, love the way JA looked at his beer dubiously after Ash slurps his! I got the sense both JA and JP were having a hard time not laughing through Ash's Disney speech. They were very deliberately not looking at him.
21) I was confused by one thing cinematography wise. I kept getting the impression that Sam was being shot in soft focus. In the Thanksgiving scene when he and Dean are talking, he's backlit with a blue light, making him very washed out whereas Dean is more clearly lit with color. Then in the scene in the Roadhouse, Sam seems fuzzy.
22) Heh to Pamela grabbing a kiss before they left. Seriously, what's heaven if you can't make out with a Dean Winchester? And given what Ash said, Dean now literally has a woman in every port.
23) How poignant that when Mary reappears, Dean struggles to turn his back on her. Also, does he say "Sammy" for the first time since the fireworks scene? As with the kitchen scene, we can see him regressing here.
24) Mike had two observations about the episode. The first is that Dean has moved up from twins to triplets. The second was that in the final scene, the buttons on Sam's shirt were in the pattern of a cross.
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