i feel what has happened as i have shifted from thinking about the past to thinking about the future. and by that i mean 90 something percent of the time. in the past i would think about the future in hopes of making the proper decision in the present so it was generally anxiety, uncomfortable, etc etc. i would think about shitty things that ( Read more... )

my stepbrothers always fuckin up
driving me crazy
hes a smarmy little fucker too
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
jesus christ im gonna have to put up with the little shit for months

i just had this bad dream where this ghost/spirit/force threw me off of a bad and into a wall and than i had like 7 false awakenings where i woke up in the room ive been staying in and none of the lights worked (of course) and i had to drag myself across the floor and 3 of the awakenings were mildly different.  that shit was like torture.  and i ( Read more... )

i havent gotten a phone call since getting here and today i get 2 phone calls inviting me to go to this girls going away party in florida. hahahahaha

ahhhh whats there to do but work on my well being

whats there to do with my attention but focus it on meaningless things.

so i accidentally deleted my entire music collection which at first sucked. but then while waiting for my backup dvds to come in the mail from florida i started downloading new music and i realized thats exactly what ive been fucking missing. ive been listening to new bands and punk rock and its amaaaazing i seriously have not set down and listen ( Read more... )

arghh ( Read more... )

so im back in nc. my stay in st. pete was strange. I had nothing that needed to be done really the entire time, which is strange for me. now that im here im going to set goals and write out a budget so as not to succumb to burnout. i tell you what my life doesnt consist of much anymore. im starting to get some life flowing thru this mechanical ( Read more... )

so im back in nc. my stay in st. pete was strange. I had nothing that needed to be done really the entire time, which is strange for me. now that im here im going to set goals and write out a budget so as not to succumb to burnout. i tell you what my life doesnt consist of much anymore. im starting to get some life flowing thru this mechanical ( Read more... )

so 48 hrs of intense boozemaking and it left me with absinthe followed by 48 hrs on intense nerd activity and i fixed my dreamcast and built a headless server. So now i can download torrents on a highspeed connection hahaha. and my new boozemaking setup is sick. mad technical.

sooo.

im thinking about going to college. Ive already ruled out some possibilities as things i can learn on my own or from someone else and dont merit going to college. im thinking mechanical engineering, and maybe mit.