Dream #3

[youthfulpassion]

((OOC: Gai is about three years old here, and looks a surprising amount like tiny!Lee, complete with a braid and bangs and stuff. Gai's dad looks.... well, an awful lot like Gai does now, though the eyes aren't the same, and he also wears a nice, long braid and bangs. Oh, and no spandex for either of them. XD))

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[wingedascension]

[ After a few experimental nights of trying to sleep away from the Hitomi, and their eerie findings of its returning to him, Neji's grown accustomed to a sort of sleep deprivation. ]

You miss him.

[youthfulpassion]

Of course. With all my heart. [Gai smiles though, and there's no regret in the expression; just a simple glow of warmth and love as he wipes his tears away. He's not afraid to say it.] But he was a good man with a good life, and the world is better for him being in it.

[And Gai laughs now, beaming; he's still a little subdued, and in a strange mood that Neji probably isn't used to, but he obviously isn't letting himself remain upset.] But I carry him with me wherever I go, in my face and my heart and all that I do--and the things he gave to me, I give to you and the others, Neji-kun.

[wingedascension]

[ Neji aches to confess his feelings about his own father. Everything. Especially the if only. If only he'd he'd had more, just a little more time with him. If only he had the chance to say he loved him a final time, if only he said it more often.

If only Neji had someone to talk to about him. He thinks of Iruka.

Gai-senseifather's words, their meaning sink into Neji's head, and the idea his teacherfather conveys coalesces into the tangible, because he's right and Neji's father is here, too, in everything Neji says and does and will do in the future.

He feels as naked and innocent as a child. Sometimes, Gai-father has that effect on him. ]

I know what you mean.

[youthfulpassion]

Do you? [Gai hums softly as he looks Neji over through the Hitomi, smile quieter now. Of course he knows about Neji's father. He knows the sacrifice that the man made to save his brother, his clan, his village itself--Hyuuga Hizashi is a noble hero.]

[And Neji... Neji is growing into a noble young man as well, a proud shinobi with a fierce spirit and incredible abilities. Gai can feel the rush of affection and pride.] I'm glad, Neji-kun.... I know that you couldn't fail to make your father proud.

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi has seen this scene a thousand times. Scenes of children and parents who love them and raise them up with smiles and kisses and warmth. And it's always been from a distance that he's seen them unfold, from where he sometimes stood in the shade of a tree, watching kids older than him coming out of academy. Their parents had such loving arms.

Kakashi used to wonder what that was like.

His father never held him like that.

It would've gotten in the way of his training, of making him disciplined. Warm embraces were for children, and Kakashi wasn't one.]

Ah, so that was what it was like.

[ He says this softly.

He's not surprised that Gai had such a happy childhood.]

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai would wonder if Kakashi really thought that was true, if he had known what Kakashi was thinking--if Kakashi saw him as childish and undisciplined, or thought that familial love had gotten in the way of Gai's training. Even in war, children had to be children--there was nothing else for them to be, except children that had grown up too fast, and that was nothing short of a tragedy.]

[And Kakashi, obviously, did not stop short of being a tragedy. He knew that Kakashi had been a child who was never a child--or at least, who had never acted like one. But Sakumo had been a true hero too, and a man of tragic honor.... honor that, though painful, spoke volumes about his feelings for the only family that he had. Gai's voice is soft as well, thinking of the past, and things that could have been.] That's right. I'm sure your father loved you with all his heart as well, Kakashi.

[ura_no_ura]

[ Kakashi didn't always believe that. He was stupid and young and didn't understand why his father had left him alone like that when Kakashi didn't have anyone else, and his father was all he had in the world. And even though his father didn't raise him with the kind of love other children had, his father was still his father, and Kakashi loved him.

(It rained the day honor bled.)

Seventeen years ago, Kakashi would've vehemently denied Gai's claim.

(His hands did not shake back then.)

He hums in agreement, a soft sound. He remembers sitting by the warmth of a flickering fire, his father's presence as large as it had felt when he was small. Remembers talking for hours. The pride that lit up Sakumo's eyes. The love.

Kakashi has no doubt that Sakumo's always loved him. ]

My father... was waiting for me.

[ When I died. He doesn't have to finish the sentence, because he knows Gai would understand. ]

He waited twenty-one years...

[ He says softly, almost contemplatively. ]

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai does understand. And somehow, he isn't surprised; that any man could die for his son, even then, even when Kakashi had been so young, could give up everything to let him have his chance at life and pride and honor untarnished.... It's a painful thing. Painful and terrible and beautiful. Gai is grateful to him, and for all he had sacrificed even after his passing, for the sense of closure Sakumo offered Kakashi.]

He is a good man. [Is, not was, because like all people who are loved, Sakumo lives on in Kakashi's heart.]

[gojyo_saaama]

[ He hadn't quite believed what Hakkai said about the dreams. They were made to share dreams, fine, he could accept that, but he'd assumed it meant sleeptalking, maybe drugs. Hypnosis. Something. Not... not this. When Gojyo is finally able to speak, minutes later, his voice is hoarse, and uncharacteristically quiet. ]

Was that real?

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai doesn't recognize this man--he has a headband, but only a cloth one, and his face and hair are distinctive. He would remember them, he thought, had they met. Even if he hadn't remembered his distinctively blue adversary from before. And so he smiles welcomingly, sure that this must be a newcomer.]

It is! ....Well, a real dream, and a real memory, I mean. How long have you been here, sir?

[gojyo_saaama]

[ Yeah, Gojyo's kinda distinctive. Also, what? Dude, you crazy, smiling like that right after, well... this. ]

Long enough t'see the whole thing. Uh. Sorry, man. Didn't mean to.

[youthfulpassion]

[Crazy? He's crazy like a fox! ....Or just crazy; most of Konoha would probably agree with you there, honestly. Either way, he seems awfully unoffended by your dream-voyeurism.]

It's fine, don't worry! People can't keep their dreams private here. My name is Maito Gai, welcome! What is your name?

[ground_breaker]

[ Sakura can't help it. The dream just has her smiling. It's like a flash of light in all the darkness that's been surrounding them lately. Like the cloud of war parts, for just a second, and illuminates an earnest child and a happy family. So even though she's always been very weirded out by Gai, she decides to leave him a message. ]

That's very sweet, Gai-sensei.

[youthfulpassion]

[Oh, Gai knows. He may not seem to see the stares or hear the whispers, he may seem hapily oblivious to what people think of him as he floats along in his own little world, but Gai knows that people are of the opinion that he's weird, and more. Worse. He hardly cares, though--Sakura gets a bright smile in return.] Thank you, Sakura-chan!

[ninjasecrets]

[ Akira doesn't know what to think. For a moment he thinks he'll start crying too - damn the Hitomi and its emotional transference. Gai has nothing but warm feelings for his father, no tempest of confusing emotions, no suspicion, no fear. And being jerked back into the reality of his own darkness isn't pleasant. It's jarring, he feels a little bit sick. Still, since he's still touching the device, he tries to smile a little bit. Gai's over-the-top, but he's someone Akira looks up to if only because he's ~Kakashi's eternal rival~.]

Hey... your dad seemed pretty nice.

[youthfulpassion]

[Gai smiles back at Akira, bright and warm and encouraging, as though somehow, he can make up for Akira's reticence. He has fond memories of a lot of people, but his father will always hold a special place in his heart. He nods in agreement.] He was a very kind man! A kind man with a good heart. Everyone needs memories like those, Akira-kun; I hope you have people who are precious to you as well.

[ninjasecrets]

I do. Or I did. [ Akira bites his lip, shifting slightly, suddenly saddened. But then he remembers: ]

I've been making lots of nice memories here.

[youthfulpassion]

Good! I hope you continue to do so, Akira-kun. And I hope that you treasure them, and the ones you've already made with precious people both past and present, always. [And maybe he's not quite as loud as normal, but softer and more encouraging; he's not quite oblivious to Akira's shift in expression. He won't pry, but he does want Akira to know that there is someone who cares, and who is there to support him.]