Dried Flowers - Chapter 2

[yukanda_lavi]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own D. Gray-man, UNFORTUNATELY all is into the bungler hands of that crazy woman whose name is hoshino... Because if it was otherwise... D. Gray-man manga wouldn't have become a shapeless and disgusting jumble of nonsenses, and Lavi would have been together with Kanda from a VERY LONG TIME!

WARNING: YAOI hints - if you don't

Comments

[nezuko2109]

Wow, I couldn't have guessed this is what Lavi has on his mind *-* It took me by surprise :(

Anyway, I think for such a good story, you should find a beta, at least to help you pick out grammar flaws, esp. when you're not a native speaker (am I right?) :) That's the only complaint I have so far. I really look forward to what'd happen next ^^

[yukanda_lavi]

O_O It was betaed, I credited the beta at the beginning ^^"

Yes, I changed a couple of sentences, but I searched on google books for the exact phrases. Since I found them, I assumed that published in a book = correct...

I just left the last ten rows in present tense. The beta changed only the tense, so I thought she didn't realize Lavi did not leave yet as he was talking. I find strange speak in past tense when you're talking about something you're going to do but you still haven't, so I preferred to keep those thoughts at present tense.

But I'm opened to suggestions, I know I'm not a perfect writer since I'm not mother language ç_ç
Yes, I'm Italian ^_^

[yukanda_lavi]

The beta is still the same as for chapter one. I don't know, maybe it's because I had a LONG stop with English works, so the first chapter come out, let's say, "unsteady"? XD
I note however that I keep exaggerating tenses >__<
Well, hopefully, now that I started translating again I will improve è_é