Kasumi
Title: Kasumi
Pairing: None
Characters: Tao, Kris
Length: One-shot
Warning: Character Death
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen/Tragedy
Summary: Going to the amusement park, finding him there, and then bringing him to his house. Kris hadn't expected any of this. He also didn't expect how twisted he was.
The last thing I expected to see in an amusement park was him.
His eyes bigger than usual, one of his hands held onto a balloon, the other the remains of what no doubt was a red candied apple. He looked lost.
"Mom?"
He didn't notice me getting closer to him. "What's wrong, Tao?" I crouched down to his level and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Kris..."
He gave me a big hug that almost caused me to fall down from loss of balance.
"I can't find mommy..."
The ache that surged through my heart, I still feel it.
"Why did you separate from her?" I started rubbing his back softly, it always calmed him.
"She... she said.... She told me" Tao kept mumbling over the words. Gasping for breath between each sob.
"Calm down Tao, don't want you to start hyperventilating" I unwrapped his arms from my neck and held him at arms lengtht. "Deep breaths, kiddo" I started taking ones myself so he would follow suit.
After a few minutes I managed to successfully calm him down. People were staring now. Why is that blond guy holding that kid? Is that his father? They don't look alike. However, I didn't want to move him. Not until he calmed down and explained what had happened.
"I...Mommy bought me this balloon, it's pretty. Isn't it?"
"Yes, it's pretty. And I'm sure that apple was tasty as well" I offered him a small smile in return to his grin. Tao looked down all of sudden "Mom, told me to wait here" What "She said she would be back soon" Did she... "But she hasn't come back yet Kris ge.... I'm sad. Did she forget me?" I couldn't help the lump I felt on my troath. Why would she.... I held Tao closely in my arms, I could feel him crying again. Gripping hard at my shirt, apple long forgotten and balloon now floating away. The tears that fell from my eyes were inevitable. She'd left him behind. The only reminder of her ex-husband.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Kris ge. Your apartment is so big and quiet. Why are you always alone?" Tao said in between bites. I'd taken him home. I couldn't just leave him there. I tried contacting his mother, but it was as if she'd dropped off of the face of China. "Because I like being alone, I feel content. That, and I haven't found someone that likes being with your Ge yet." I winked at him, and laughed along with him. "Being alone is a terrible feeling. Doesn't it mean no one wants you?" I'm not sure what broke me more. The way he was still smiling. Or that this 7 year old kid already knew about such feelings. "Tao, who told you that?" He fidgeted and looked down at his rice bowl "Mommy, she used to say it a lot. She would cry and ask why wasn't she loved. Why he had left her. why was she so unwanted. And then she would..." Tao didn't finish his sentence before subcomming to his tears. Somehow, even if he didn't finish it, I knew what he was going to say. I got up from my chair and gathered him in my arms again. "Calm down tao, it's-" "Why did she leave me? She hates me? She doesn't want me!!" those words tore through Tao, he was sobbing more intensely now. I felt for a moment that he would just pass out from lack of oxygen. He was taking shallow breaths, his chest heaving with every cry that pierced through him. I only belated noticed I was also shaking while I held him. After an hour I took him to my bed and tucked him in so he could rest. He hadn't been like this in the entire week he's been here. I didn't think he was that broken.... it was only when I took a glance at my reflection in the mirror that I noticed the wet trails that adorned my cheeks.
I knew what he was feeling.
-------------------------------------
I awoke at four in the morning to a yell. I scrambled to get on my feet after falling to the floor from the couch. Tao..? I quickly went to my room. "Tao, everything okay?" I asked softly whie walking to the bed. He was still sleeping.
He wasn't sleeping. I could see the shimmering tears. He was having a nightmare.....no.
He was already living the nightmare.
"Just kill me...mom.. why? Take me with you." soft whispers came from Tao's mouth "Why did you"
I stumbled backwards. "Please......" I shook my head and went to him to shake his shoulders. He awoke with another cry. Like that last time, he looked lost. He was lost. He kept looking around the room and didn't notice me. "I'm here..." he started sobbing again against my chest.
I suddenly pushed Tao back against the bed harshly, ignoring the way he flailed his arms and the soft yelp that escaped his lips. Taking ahold of the comforter I pressed it against his nose and mouth. I could feel him trashing against me, scratching at my arms. I didn't have to wait long, he had a chronic sinus problem so he should.... Yes...soon....
"10, 9, 8, 7" after a few more counts I saw him calm down.
He just stared at me. A few more and he stopped trying to steal a few gasping breaths.
I felt his hand on my cheek "2..." I whispered. His hand fell from my cheek and I saw how his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
He was dead.
----------------------------------------------------
I went to the amusement park.
i got a red candied apple and a balloon.
----------------------------------------------------
I went to a near by beach in the afternoon and walked to the shore. Balloon and apple still in hand.
She left him
I looked up.
She left me.
My vision started getting fuzzy. I let the balloon slip from my hand, letting it fly up into the sky. But there was no wind. I looked to my left, to some beach rocks people often jump off of.
"Sir, are you okay?" I heard someone say, but I didn't pay much attention to it.
Maybe I was crying? It was a possibility. I kept staring at how the waves kept breaking against the rocks,
and felt every hit.
--------------------------------------
It was four in the morning. I was curled up on the couch staring at the television, it was on. I couldn't hear anything though.
Did I make the right decision?
I can still hear him crying his eyes out. Screaming for her.
"Mom, Why did you do that?"
a/N on the verge of tears tbh. dir en grey still has a powerful hold on me. even if i've only been in kpop land for this last 3 years non stop. i will never, ever, ever forget about dir en grey. all of their lyrics. all the feelings and emotions kyo would pour into them, and in the performances. I wish Jrock and visual kei would get more attention. the emotion they can just pour out of themselves in 3 minutes time is simply... urgh. i can't ... im gonna go cry in a corner now. *This is also posted in my AFF account: chigire
I was crying, a candied apple in one hand...
into the darkness of dead time.
"Mama, where are you Mama?" imprint your details in my eyes,
and hold you.
Gion Hill in August when the bugs chirp noisilly
and the store that sells folding paper fans.
The smiling Month of May this child wished for never comes.*
I let the paper balloon fly high into the sky,
At that point the tears well up,
the red candy melts away with my memories until there's nothing.
I awake around 4 in the morning, to her tiny cries echoing,
I put her to bed with a reading of her favorite picture book.
in the darkness... goodbye.
I let the paper balloon fly high into the sky,
At that point the tears well up,
the red candy melts away with my memories until there's nothing.
how many more years will it be before these tears end?
the sun sank to the dead bottom and there lies the truth and...
At one o'clock in the afternoon on a windless day,
there now she lies silently, still underneath the tatami
Pairing: None
Characters: Tao, Kris
Length: One-shot
Warning: Character Death
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Gen/Tragedy
Summary: Going to the amusement park, finding him there, and then bringing him to his house. Kris hadn't expected any of this. He also didn't expect how twisted he was.
The last thing I expected to see in an amusement park was him.
His eyes bigger than usual, one of his hands held onto a balloon, the other the remains of what no doubt was a red candied apple. He looked lost.
"Mom?"
He didn't notice me getting closer to him. "What's wrong, Tao?" I crouched down to his level and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Kris..."
He gave me a big hug that almost caused me to fall down from loss of balance.
"I can't find mommy..."
The ache that surged through my heart, I still feel it.
"Why did you separate from her?" I started rubbing his back softly, it always calmed him.
"She... she said.... She told me" Tao kept mumbling over the words. Gasping for breath between each sob.
"Calm down Tao, don't want you to start hyperventilating" I unwrapped his arms from my neck and held him at arms lengtht. "Deep breaths, kiddo" I started taking ones myself so he would follow suit.
After a few minutes I managed to successfully calm him down. People were staring now. Why is that blond guy holding that kid? Is that his father? They don't look alike. However, I didn't want to move him. Not until he calmed down and explained what had happened.
"I...Mommy bought me this balloon, it's pretty. Isn't it?"
"Yes, it's pretty. And I'm sure that apple was tasty as well" I offered him a small smile in return to his grin. Tao looked down all of sudden "Mom, told me to wait here" What "She said she would be back soon" Did she... "But she hasn't come back yet Kris ge.... I'm sad. Did she forget me?" I couldn't help the lump I felt on my troath. Why would she.... I held Tao closely in my arms, I could feel him crying again. Gripping hard at my shirt, apple long forgotten and balloon now floating away. The tears that fell from my eyes were inevitable. She'd left him behind. The only reminder of her ex-husband.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Kris ge. Your apartment is so big and quiet. Why are you always alone?" Tao said in between bites. I'd taken him home. I couldn't just leave him there. I tried contacting his mother, but it was as if she'd dropped off of the face of China. "Because I like being alone, I feel content. That, and I haven't found someone that likes being with your Ge yet." I winked at him, and laughed along with him. "Being alone is a terrible feeling. Doesn't it mean no one wants you?" I'm not sure what broke me more. The way he was still smiling. Or that this 7 year old kid already knew about such feelings. "Tao, who told you that?" He fidgeted and looked down at his rice bowl "Mommy, she used to say it a lot. She would cry and ask why wasn't she loved. Why he had left her. why was she so unwanted. And then she would..." Tao didn't finish his sentence before subcomming to his tears. Somehow, even if he didn't finish it, I knew what he was going to say. I got up from my chair and gathered him in my arms again. "Calm down tao, it's-" "Why did she leave me? She hates me? She doesn't want me!!" those words tore through Tao, he was sobbing more intensely now. I felt for a moment that he would just pass out from lack of oxygen. He was taking shallow breaths, his chest heaving with every cry that pierced through him. I only belated noticed I was also shaking while I held him. After an hour I took him to my bed and tucked him in so he could rest. He hadn't been like this in the entire week he's been here. I didn't think he was that broken.... it was only when I took a glance at my reflection in the mirror that I noticed the wet trails that adorned my cheeks.
I knew what he was feeling.
-------------------------------------
I awoke at four in the morning to a yell. I scrambled to get on my feet after falling to the floor from the couch. Tao..? I quickly went to my room. "Tao, everything okay?" I asked softly whie walking to the bed. He was still sleeping.
He wasn't sleeping. I could see the shimmering tears. He was having a nightmare.....no.
He was already living the nightmare.
"Just kill me...mom.. why? Take me with you." soft whispers came from Tao's mouth "Why did you"
I stumbled backwards. "Please......" I shook my head and went to him to shake his shoulders. He awoke with another cry. Like that last time, he looked lost. He was lost. He kept looking around the room and didn't notice me. "I'm here..." he started sobbing again against my chest.
I suddenly pushed Tao back against the bed harshly, ignoring the way he flailed his arms and the soft yelp that escaped his lips. Taking ahold of the comforter I pressed it against his nose and mouth. I could feel him trashing against me, scratching at my arms. I didn't have to wait long, he had a chronic sinus problem so he should.... Yes...soon....
"10, 9, 8, 7" after a few more counts I saw him calm down.
He just stared at me. A few more and he stopped trying to steal a few gasping breaths.
I felt his hand on my cheek "2..." I whispered. His hand fell from my cheek and I saw how his eyes rolled to the back of his head.
He was dead.
----------------------------------------------------
I went to the amusement park.
i got a red candied apple and a balloon.
----------------------------------------------------
I went to a near by beach in the afternoon and walked to the shore. Balloon and apple still in hand.
She left him
I looked up.
She left me.
My vision started getting fuzzy. I let the balloon slip from my hand, letting it fly up into the sky. But there was no wind. I looked to my left, to some beach rocks people often jump off of.
"Sir, are you okay?" I heard someone say, but I didn't pay much attention to it.
Maybe I was crying? It was a possibility. I kept staring at how the waves kept breaking against the rocks,
and felt every hit.
--------------------------------------
It was four in the morning. I was curled up on the couch staring at the television, it was on. I couldn't hear anything though.
Did I make the right decision?
I can still hear him crying his eyes out. Screaming for her.
"Mom, Why did you do that?"
a/N on the verge of tears tbh. dir en grey still has a powerful hold on me. even if i've only been in kpop land for this last 3 years non stop. i will never, ever, ever forget about dir en grey. all of their lyrics. all the feelings and emotions kyo would pour into them, and in the performances. I wish Jrock and visual kei would get more attention. the emotion they can just pour out of themselves in 3 minutes time is simply... urgh. i can't ... im gonna go cry in a corner now. *This is also posted in my AFF account: chigire
I was crying, a candied apple in one hand...
into the darkness of dead time.
"Mama, where are you Mama?" imprint your details in my eyes,
and hold you.
Gion Hill in August when the bugs chirp noisilly
and the store that sells folding paper fans.
The smiling Month of May this child wished for never comes.*
I let the paper balloon fly high into the sky,
At that point the tears well up,
the red candy melts away with my memories until there's nothing.
I awake around 4 in the morning, to her tiny cries echoing,
I put her to bed with a reading of her favorite picture book.
in the darkness... goodbye.
I let the paper balloon fly high into the sky,
At that point the tears well up,
the red candy melts away with my memories until there's nothing.
how many more years will it be before these tears end?
the sun sank to the dead bottom and there lies the truth and...
At one o'clock in the afternoon on a windless day,
there now she lies silently, still underneath the tatami