In you chokehold [Tamaki & Kyouya]

[yukishuii]

In Kyouya’s point of view.

You’ve caught me since day one, since you extended out your hand to me with that sinfully beautiful contagious smile. You’ve caught me in your chokehold.

Trying to evade this feelings you slapped on me was useless because you keep on coming back, annoying me, humoring me, accompanying me, finding your way to my

Comments

[dior_anghel]

I loved this! You capture Kyouya's voice perfectly. However, you have a couple of run-on sentences... maybe a beta?

Other than that, though, this was really good. Thanks for sharing!

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Uh... has nothing to do with this story, but I really want to join this com and I CAN'T because the stupid title picture that says 'Kyouya & Tamaki' covers both links, of 'Join this community' and 'Watch this community'. So I can't do ANYTHING!

Can someone help me?

[noseflute]

Go to the community's profile, and join from there. :)

[dior_anghel]

Sorry, but I don't know what you mean. :S

...Link me, maybe?

[noseflute]

Go to the community's profile page, here, and click on the link near the top that says "to join this community, click here".

Or, I guess you could just skip that step just click here. (That should work, I think...)

Hope I was more helpful this time instead of confusing. :)

[noseflute]

I like the tone of this. The flow seems kind of of detached in some places, though, and I'm not sure if that works for me.

I like the striking difference between Tamaki's actions, which are suave, charming, and generally gentle, and how Kyouya interprets them as so violent and controlling. It's a nice contrast. I don't think you've portrayed Kyouya as OOc - in fact, I think that some of it is incredibly in character - but maybe in some places the wording, or sentence structure even could be changed to fit better?

Anyway, overall this was fairly well done. :)