Fanfic: Lost Heart
Title: Lost Heart *Chapter 4*
Author: yume16
Beta:
blursakana
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine...
Pairing(s): Ryopi
Genre: AU (!)
Warnings: Language
Rating: -Chapter: PG
- Complete Fanfic: NC-17 (I guess)
Summary: Tomohisa is seriously not interested in love...
Author Notes: Some special thanks go to bluelillie because she helped me so much with researching. Let's all give her a hug :3 She saved me.
Chapter 4
He went to the other who was still lying on the couch and looked at his sleeping face. Tomohisa was really an unlucky person. Carefully, he reached out and moved his hands under the blanket. He would try to get the other to stretch his legs; otherwise he would be troubled later. Swallowing nervously, he wrapped his hands around his ankles and tugged. If the other woke up now, he would probably think he was trying to do something perverted. Well normally, he wouldn’t have done it, but he had sworn to take care of the other and this was part of it as well. He breathed out relieved when Tomohisa complied and stretched his legs. Just as he was about to pull the blanket back around him the other stirred.
“Nishi…kido?”
“Ryo would be so much shorter.”
Tomohisa blinked sleepily at him.
“I take it you’ll stay for the night. You missed the last train anyway and I would prefer it if you didn’t go on the street again.” Not when the other had such a bad day. He didn’t want to get up tomorrow and hear what for terrible things had happened to his partner.
“I…okay.” The other looked critically at him and he sighed. How long would it take to win some of the other’s trust?
“I am not going to touch you. I’ll get you a futon since the couch is a little short for you. Do you want to sleep in the living room?”
“Yeah.”
The other seemed to be still half asleep and he couldn’t help but ruffle his hair affectionately. He reminded him of a little kid that got woken up from his afternoon nap.
“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t touch me?” Tomohisa looked at him sharply and he lifted his hands in surrender. Gone was the cute expression from before.
“Sorry, sorry, you just looked cute just now.”
“Don’t call me cute.”
“Okay, child-like then.”
“You are really annoying me.”
Ryo grinned and gave the other a sign to go to the bathroom.
Tomohisa glared when he saw the other grin, but decided against starting a fight. He was tired and that would give the other better chances to win and he didn’t want that.
When he entered the other’s bathroom he couldn’t help but shudder. The room was dominated in the colours black and white and gave off a cold feeling. He couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable. Everything looked clean and tidy but also impersonal. There was neither a shaver nor anything else lying around. Probably everything was in the drawers or behind the doors of the small closet. It was really freaky. He almost didn’t dare to touch anything, too scared he would leave fingerprints.
After he had overcome his fear and washed up, he left the room and for the first time really looked at the living room closely. The room gave of the same feeling as the bathroom. It was black and white and cold. There were no photos or personal belongings. It looked like on of these flats you saw in brochures of furniture stores.
He had to shiver. How could someone live in such an environment? How could not lie something around, like a magazine? The only thing that seemed to be out of order was the blanket he had used when he had lied down on the couch.
Their cups were already gone and the other had switched off his laptop for him. Had the other a fetish for scrupulous cleanliness?
His thoughts got interrupted as Ryo entered the room with a futon and put it down in front of the TV since there was the most space.
“Make yourself at home. If you need anything you can ask me and you can of course get yourself something from the kitchen.” The other looked thoughtfully around and then nodded to himself.
“I guess you have everything…ah! I should give you a shirt you can sleep in. Just a second.” The other disappeared again and came back some minutes later with a shirt. He had not dared to move from his spot. Everything was so tidy that he feared to be out of order.
“Why are you standing there frozen to the spot?”
“I…” He spared himself the answer and went to the other and took the shirt from him. When Ryo suddenly placed a hand on his forehead he lifted an eyebrow.
“Still worried that my fever comes back? I am totally fine again. Stop treating me like a baby.”
“Better safe than sorry. Okay then, good night. We have a long day ahead again tomorrow.”
“Good night.”
The other left the room through one of the doors and he figured it leaded to his bedroom. Did his bedroom look the same as the rest of the flat or was it more personal?
Deciding it was not important, he changed into the shirt Ryo had given him and after switching of the light, crawled into the futon. It was really comfortable and soft, but…
He had to swallow, the light from the window shed strange shadows in the room and he closed his eyes tightly. This flat was seriously giving him the creeps.
He was somewhere very high up in the air and he felt hands trying to grab him, trying to force him to fall, as he tried to run away there was suddenly something coming towards him in a fast speed. It was going to hit him. He knew it and then he would fall or die?
“Tomohisa! Wake up!”
“What the…”
”You had a nightmare.”
There were hands gripping his shoulders and Ryo was leaning over him.
“No wonder.”
“Well, a lot happened today.” Ryo loosened his grip and sat down next to him on the futon. He also pushed some of his hair out of his face that was clinging to his forehead. He was still too shaken to tell the other to not touch him. He was slowly starting to calm down.
“Yeah that and your flat is giving me the creeps. You have awful taste.”
“Hmm…” The other hummed thoughtfully.
“You are not feeling offended by my statement?”
“No, you already showed me that you are straight to the point and don’t beat around the bush. Moreover, it’s not the first time that I am getting told that.”
“That doesn’t really surprise me.”
”Koyama already threatened that he would paint purple flowers on my wall if I didn’t hurry up and got a bit more colour in my flat. Shige said he would add some green.”
“They are right. Your flat is terribly impersonal. Are there no photos you could put up?”
“Hmm, no I never took any. Take some for me and I’ll put them up.”
“I…okay.” Who knew if he had to sleep here ever again.
“But now you should go back to sleep.”
”As if I could sleep here.”
Ryo looked thoughtfully at him.
“Would it help you if I slept here with you? If you were not alone?”
”I don’t want that!”
“That was not my question.”
He turned his head to the side to look away.
“I see so it would help.”
“Go back to your room.”
Ryo ignored his words and instead lifted the covers and slipped under them. He immediately moved away from the middle of the futon.
“It would be good for both of us if you were less stubborn and just accepted my help. You’ll need your sleep.” With that Ryo rolled on his side and faced with his back towards him.
“Try to sleep some, Tomohisa and stop thinking so much. It does you no good.”
He could not say if he was happy about the other sleeping next to him or not. On one hand, it was reassuring to have someone with him in these creepy surroundings, but on the other hand the other’s closeness put him on edge. They had been close enough the whole day. He didn’t want to become dependent again. Closing his eyes, he tried to will himself to sleep, but when he did so he rolled onto his side and towards Ryo. Immediately, he put some distance between them again. How was he supposed to sleep like that? But the other’s warmth was reassuring and he really did not want to have another nightmare. Contemplating his options for a few more minutes, he decided to settle with the lesser evil and rolled on his side so that his back was facing towards Ryo, too and leaned against him.
That way, he was close to him and could feel his presence, but he could not curl up and hug him. Moreover, he wanted to finally sleep. He felt so terribly tired.
“Hey Tomo-chan, it’s time to get up.” He got shook gently, but he tried to push the hand away that tried to pull him out of his delicious strawberry dream.
Arms wrapped around him from behind and a soft voice whispered into his ear.
“You still have to learn how real cuddling works. It should feel like something like this.” And with that the arms tightened around his waist. “Not pressing your back against mine so innocently like you did.”
“Strawberries…” Contently he leaned back against this warmth as he dipped a red and ripe strawberry in wiped cream. So delicious.
He couldn’t stop eating. When he ate a really delicious one he moaned.
“Do I want to know what you are dreaming of?” He felt a gentle caress on his torso and slowly opened his eyes. He was feeling so damn good at the moment. Wait, he looked around a little and it was like a slap in the face as he recognized the black furniture and white walls.
He was getting hugged.
The other gasped for air when an elbow got rammed into his guts.
“Tomohisa…that was…really not necessary.” Ryo panted.
“Don’t hug me and I won’t have to do such things to you.”
“I was only joking a little. No need to get that violent.”
“Let go of me.”
He was feeling weird. On one had he had felt really good just now, but on the other hand the other was so close.
“You are too close to me.” He couldn’t push the other away though. What was going on with him?
“Just now when you were still sleeping you certainly enjoyed to be held.”
“That’s not true.”
”You know…” The other pulled his arm away from his waist, but still stayed behind him. “Sometimes it is okay to rely on others. It helps.”
”I don’t need any help.” He got up and walked into the bathroom. Only then did he notice that if he took a shower now, he would have no clothes to change into. Damn that sucked. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub and buried his face in his hands. How was he supposed to stay sane with Nishikido around? He knew the other was only joking when he had hugged him, but he really had no idea how to behave around the other.
“Hey Tomo, I put some clothes in front of the door you can change into.”
Tomo? Since when did the other start calling him Tomo?
Whatever, he could fight about that with Nishikido later. He got up and opened the door and picked the bundle up.
“I am not going to wear your underwear. That’s simply gross.” He said after he had looked at what the other was giving him.
“Wearing two days the same underwear is gross, too. You decide what is more bearable.” Ryo stuck his head out of the kitchen door and grinned smugly at him.
“That’s…”
”By the way, I wore your underwear yesterday, too and I survived it.”
“You what? I…”
”You hate me, I know, but sharing is caring my dear. Now get showered, I want to shower, too.”
Grumbling, he went back into that incredibly clean bathroom.
When he came out again, he was not in the best mood because he had to admit, that wearing fresh boxers was nice.
“You are really not a sunshine in the morning.” Ryo commented when he sat down in front of the other on the breakfast table.
“It feels way too early.” He said before he picked up the cup with coffee that stood in front of him.
“Well, that’s probably because it’s 5:15.”
He almost spit out his coffee. 5: 15? Was the other joking?
“What the fucking…hell?”
“No cursing in the morning. I said it yesterday. That we have a lot planned and have to get up early, but I guess you could have been sleeping at that time. I didn’t notice immediately. Now I do feel kind of ridiculous for talking with myself like that.” Ryo furrowed his brows as he said his last sentence.
“I should have paid more attention.” That and he shouldn’t be really surprised. He was someone, who liked to sleep long, but he should have known that for this job he would have to say goodbye to lazy mornings.
“Okay, I will now leave the dishes to you and go shower so that we can leave.” Ryo said as soon as they were done and he nodded. He knew he had to do his share.
When everything was done they left the house and he regretted taking his jacket with him. It was quite warm already and it was not even close to noon. Today was going to be tough.
“So where are we going?” He asked the other as they walked towards the train station.
“You really didn’t listen at all and there I could have bet I heard an agreeing noise from you. Well whatever, first we will visit the Meiji-shrine and get photos of Shibuya. After lunch we will go to Ueno Park.”
“I take it we are also going to visit the National Museum in Ueno Park and the zoo. Nishikido that is crazy! We will never manage to do all that in one day.”
“We have to.” The other said and then pushed him towards their train.
When they entered he pulled the other by his shirt in front of himself and when their eyes meet, he saw the other look at him…warmly(?), gently(?) or maybe…no, lovingly would be too strong of a word. That could hardly be.
The train was not that full, but full enough that they had to stand and he had to hide a yawn. His nightmare yesterday had stolen some of his precious time for sleeping.
The next thing he felt was that someone had bumped against him. Only then he noticed that his head was lying on the shoulder in front of him and a head was lying on his shoulder as well. He lifted his head just as the other person did. A little did he wonder if he should be happy that it was Nishikido and not some stranger he had nod off on.
“I guess we are both a little tired.” Ryo said as he checked if they had missed their stop. “We have to get off on the next one. Lucky.”
“I kept you up yesterday.” He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. Ryo had woken him up from his nightmare, so he must have screamed or made loud noises.
“But therefore I slept like a baby afterwards.” He winked at him and he rolled his eyes.
Nishikido dragged him out of the train when it stopped and he couldn’t help but wonder a little about the hand wrapped around his wrist. He had observed the matter for a few days now and whenever they were walking to one of their destinations Nishikido grabbed him by his arm or wrist. This guy was full of strange habits.
“Do you always drag people around with you?” He asked as they walked along the street even though he had asked the other about this matter before. It was just too weird.
“No, only people that tend to walk slowly, in other words people like you.” Ryo looked at him over his shoulder and he speeded up a little.
“I can keep that pace.” He said defiantly.
“Sure, sure.” The other ignored him completely and tugged him through the big wooden gate that stood at the entrance of the ground of the shrine.
Immediately, he took out his camera and took a few photos till he followed Ryo who had slowly walked towards the entrance of the temple.
“Don’t you think we should pray some as well?” Ryo asked him in a low voice as he let his look wander. He nodded and they went to pray. They did it silently next to each other and he couldn’t help but pray that everything was going to be alright and nothing major would interrupt their trip.
He watched the people around him who came to pray as well. It surprised him slightly that they got up so early, but somehow he also felt at peace. Everyone was doing their own things and it was quite silent. When he looked up to search for his partner he realized that the other had disappeared from his side.
His heart suddenly skipped a beat and he felt nervousness rose within himself. Shaking his head in disbelief, he gripped his camera tighter and decided to discover the grounds a little, too. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he already that used to having the other around? Moreover, he was probably just looking around to search for impressions for his article.
The shrine was really beautiful he had to admit as he looked through the view-finder. There was so much he wanted to photograph, like the sake barrels, the temple itself or the prayer cards. The sun was bathing the surroundings in a gentle light and he felt a little sad because the birds that were singing their beautiful melody, couldn’t be heard in his photos.
When he had already taken a good amount of pictures a familiar silhouette appeared in his version and before he knew it he had taken the photo. He paid the relief that flooded him no mind.
“Did you just take a photo of me?” Ryo asked surprised and he shook his head.
“No, you just walked right into my frame. I wanted to take a picture.” He lied straight through his teeth. This was kind of embarrassing for him, he wasn’t sure why though.
“Oh sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin a possible gorgeous picture?”
“It’s fine. I think I have more than enough.”
“Oh great, we should walk to the centre of Shibuya then, but before we do that: Here.” The other held out his hand towards him and he looked at the good luck charm.
“Eh?”
“It’s for our trip, for it to be successful.”
“Why are you giving it me?” He didn’t reach out to take it.
“Because I think our luck is in good hands if you carry it.” Ryo smiled at him before he tied the charm on the bag of his camera.
“I…”
“Just take good care of it.” Then Ryo took him by the wrist again and tugged him towards the big wooden gate.
Ryo was really walking in a fast pace and he knew he was going to be tired when they were done for today. Normally, it would take at least 20 minutes to get there by foot, but Ryo made them get there in less than 15 minutes. They even had made a short stop at Harajuku station so he could take some photos.
“I am sorry, but we have to hurry.”
He waved the other off “I know.”
Ryo pulled out a list and looked at all the places they had to go to. Tomohisa remembered vaguely having such a list in his folder as well. When he got home today he certainly should look at it. It was really embarrassing how much he relied on Ryo to get them to the right places.
“Okay, there are several places we have to go to. Let’s start. They went to the Hachiko Statue and several shops. Time was passing fast and by now it was almost noon and really hot.
“I think I need to buy some water.” Tomohisa mumbled to himself. Ryo looked at him before he pulled a bottle out of his bag.
“Here, if you are not scared of an indirect kiss that is, but don’t get dehydrated.”
He glared at the other and then took the bottle from his hand. He was not going to act childish and he didn’t believe in stuff like indirect kisses anyway. That was something for romantics.
“Are we done?” He looked over Ryo’s shoulder on the list and indeed there was nothing left. “How about lunch then?” He asked.
Ryo put a hand on his stomach and grinned sheepishly at him.
“I really wouldn’t mind to get something to eat.”
“Let’s go then.” He walked straight towards his favourite restaurant and Ryo followed him curiously.
“It’s nice here.” Ryo said as he looked at the few tables that stood in the room and the homey feeling it gave. Everything was in warm colours and the chairs looked very comfortable.
“Just wait till you eat the food they make here.”
Ryo had to admit ungrudgingly that the cold soba noodles were fantastic and just the right thing after having worked so long and in such a hot weather. The sun was really burning down on them mercilessly.
“Would you mind if we made a longer break?”
He looked up at him after he had put the last noodle into his mouth.
“Well, that depends on if we have to run afterwards even more.”
“Hm no, I don’t think so. We should manage, but I would like to write a little already. I don’t want to forget and I know you are carrying your laptop around with you in that bag.” He saw Ryo bit his lip nervously and he sighed silently. The other seemed to be unsure if he could ask him a favour. Taking out his laptop as well as his camera, he earned a surprised look.
“You want my pictures as well, don’t you?”
“Thank you!”
“Whatever…” He looked away when Ryo smiled brightly at him. Somehow he didn’t know what to make of that smile. Moreover, he was feeling weird.
After uploading his pictures he gave the other his laptop, but not before putting the picture of Ryo in another folder.
“I’ll try to be fast.”
“Take the time you need.” He ordered himself a cold tea and crossed his arms in front of himself on the table. Now that they had an unexpected break, he could use the time to catch up on some sleep.
Ryo closed his eyes for a few seconds before he began typing. He still had to proofread what he had written yesterday. He was happy when they travelled by Shinkansen because then he would have some time to proofread a few articles. Proofreading was something he really did not like to do.
When he was almost done with writing he looked up to look at the other and couldn’t help but chuckle. Tomohisa was sprawled out on top of the table sleeping. Luckily their dishes were already gone except for their drinks and he was thankful that the owners of the restaurant only smiled good-naturedly at them instead of telling them to leave. This was really a nice place.
He was going to keep it in mind. It surprised him a little that there were not more costumers than only a few.
He returned his attention to his article because he really wanted to be done with it. Of course, he knew that he would have to change it later on, but at least he had the structure of it written down.
Reaching out towards Tomohisa, he caressed his hair and the other blinked slowly his big dark eyes open.
“Did I really fall asleep?”
“Yeah, for about 35 minutes.”
“Oh…”
“Let’s pay for our food and leave. There is still much we have to do.”
Tomohisa nodded and they paid and also thanked that they could stay so long even though they had not eaten anything anymore.
They then went to the train station and didn’t have to wait long for their train to arrive.
From Shibuya to Ueno Park it was quite far and Tomohisa would have loved if they could have sat down for once, but it was summer and a lot of people were enjoying it. There was no need for him to tug Ryo in front of himself since the other did it himself. There was probably no pervert around, but he really preferred it like that. As he looked out of the window he felt a sudden weight on his shoulder. It was Ryo’s head and he moved a little closer. The other deserved some rest. He certainly didn’t like to be close to him, but he had worked while he had taken a nap and he had kept him up last night. He should make it up to him at least some.
He watched the people around him and Ryo was not the only one resting. A woman was sitting at a window and leaned her head against it with closed eyes. Another man was leaning against the wall of the train and looked ready to slip down on the floor. The weather was certainly tiring.
He looked to his left when he felt someone tap his shoulder.
“Yo!”
“Jin!” He looked at his friend surprised. It’s been long since he had last seen him. Jin was someone who liked to travel around a lot and was barely home and since he had inherited quite some money he was even less around.
“Oh, I didn’t know you got yourself a new boyfriend. Good job!” Jin peered at Ryo who had still his head on his shoulder.
“He is not my boyfriend.”
“Oh come on Tomo, there is really no need to be shy in front of me.” Jin smiled brightly and suddenly wrapped his arms around him and Ryo. “I am so happy for you!”
“Jin, let go!”
“Huh?” Ryo said intelligently and looked dumbfounded at Jin. He didn’t seem to be used to getting hugged by strangers.
“What is going on?”
“Jin let go, I said.” He turned towards Ryo. “This is Bakanishi Jin. Next to Shige he is my best friend and he is a total idiot.”
“Akanishi! Akanishi Jin. Hey, I am way better than this bookworm! And don’t call me an idiot.”
“Yeah, you are right you are better than him. You are topping him in being idiotic.”
“Exactly! No wait, that was not a compliment just now!”
“Your friend is funny.” Ryo said amused and didn’t even try to hide his grin.
“Well that’s for certain.”
Jin pouted at his words, but soon his curiosity got the better of him.
“So and you are? You must be pretty close to Tomo when he lets you sleep on his shoulder.”
He jabbed his elbow in the other’s side and sent him a glare. Jin would always say what he did not want him to say. It was really a hassle to be with that guy. The other only made a peace sign and returned his attention back to Ryo.
“I am Nishikido Ryo and we are working together on a project at the moment.”
“Oh, I see and here I thought Tomo had finally gotten a new boyfriend. What a pity.”
“Uhm…”
“Don’t give him wrong ideas, Jin. He already made more than enough comments about my butt.”
Jin grinned, and he looked back at him with a lifted eyebrow.
“Face it Tomo, you do have a nice butt.”
“Jin…”
”What?”
”You are not helping. Shut up.”
“Aww, Tomo-chan is getting embarrassed.” The other bumped their shoulders playfully together and he stuck his tongue out because he knew he would make Jin laugh with that.
“Oh the next stop is mine.” Jin looked out of the window. “I’ll call you when I have time, Tomo.”
“Do that, I’ll wait.”
Jin waved at them and squeezed his way through behind Ryo.
“Try to win his heart. He can be a real sweetheart.” He mumbled silently “…when he wants to at least.” Jin winked at Ryo and got off.
“Did he say something to you?” Tomohisa asked him with furrowed brows.
“No, not that I heard.” He lied. It was slowly getting scary how he got told from Tomohisa’s friends to make a move on the other or that Akito was not good for him. Could it really be that Tomohisa had been in love with someone so terrible? Or was there something his friends didn’t know? It was hard for him to believe that Tomohisa was that irrational and blind, but then again, Koyama had said it, that love is blind…
He looked at the other who was looking out of the window again. They were still quite close.
What was it that he still didn’t know about? Something was terrible amiss, or at least it felt like it.
Tomohisa clearly had loved that idiot, but from what he had heard he was the worst boyfriend possible and Shige and Jin seemed to agree on this matter. The two were two totally different people that was out of the question and he trusted Shige to be able to judge people properly. When someone was rational, than it was Shige. Well, if it wasn’t about Koyama, but that was another matter.
He wished he could ask Tomohisa about the matter, but they were neither close enough nor was he supposed to know about this at all.
“We have to get out.” Tomohisa pointed out of the window and together they squeezed out of the train and it didn’t take long till he felt a hand around his wrist again.
“Are we really going to manage?” He asked Ryo disbelievingly as they walked towards the park. They would first go to the National Museum and while doing so, take photos of the park and when they had seen the museum, go to the zoo.
“Well, we will only be able to see little parts of everything. I wonder how we will do this when we visit places we have never been to.”
“That’s kind of sad. We are supposed to give people inspiration as to where they can go and enjoy their holidays for example, but in reality we barely saw anything ourselves.”
“I guess all that matters is that we do our job.”
“Sucks.”
“Maybe we get a holiday afterwards.”
”You are such an optimist.”
“And you are such a pessimist, Tomo.”
”I never allowed you to call me Tomo by the way.”
”All your friends do so. So I decided to call you that as well. If you want to keep calling me Nishikido, fine, but I prefer a more personal level.”
”You are not going to change your mind no matter what I say, will you?”
“Nope~”
Grumbling, he took the first few photos as they entered the park. He had to find a way to deal with the other and not let him always win. There was something about Ryo’s cheerfulness that made it impossible to say anything against it. Where did the other take all the energy from to be that optimistic? That was really a total mystery to him.
They walked slowly enough so he could take his photos, but still faster than he normally would have. Somehow there was really nothing relaxing about this, but it was work after all.
The ending is rather abrupt. I am sorry about this. I actually wanted Ueno to be the main point of my chapter but then my characters got out of hand o.O Ryo did things he had not been supposed to do...like sleeping in Tomo's futon and Jin somehow ninja-ed his way into the storry as well. But since I have the information I already, I hope I won't take so long for the next chapter.