Can my life please stop being a drama?
Seeing you last weekend for dinner and a movie turned into just another episode of our lives. And I can't help but laugh as I cry over all that seems to happen between us. No matter what, you always make it an adventure. You overslept so we missed our movie, but perhaps that was for the best. It seems we have so much to discuss these days and it never seems to work out for the best for me. But I guess that is just how I am, everyone always tells me I need to stop sacrificing my happiness for others', but it's just so hard. Especially when it comes to you.
But now, I think we both know now what we need to do. Because of who we are, we just can't do anything "half", it's all or nothing for us. All can't work out because of the circumstances, be they mine or yours. And we've tried the "half" to death. We already know we can't be "just friends" because there's too much between us that makes stepping back to that stone impossible. We've figured out we can't be "just lovers" either, it complicates everything because it makes us both want for more that we can't have.
So, my tender affection, let us just be the one thing that's still open to us before we destroy each other by clinging to this for too long. Let us just pretend to be nothing, it's the only way we'll get through this still intact. Please, walk past me as if you don't know me -- that you don't know how to make me laugh, how to make me forget all my worries, as if you don't know all the things I whisper only to the dark arms of night, as if you don't know how my skin feels against yours -- and I will do the same.
I say again, let's just pretend to be nothing. It is all I can guarantee on my end, so it is all I can ask of you. Perhaps, if in the future, we end up in the same place and the timing is right, let's try again. But for now, we should just let go and be all that is left for us to be. And after all, everyone says that nothing is the only thing that lasts forever.
Anyway, the first week of Spring Term has finally concluded. I'm lucky my math class looks as if it is going to be easy enough for me to breeze through it without much trouble. The Philosophy of Religion class I signed up for will be easy enough for me to do the work, and it looks like I'll be learning so much from it. Being rather Agnostic myself (meaning I have really no religious affilation), from having no contact with any religion in my childhood (my grandparents were very good about keeping religion from me, allowing me to choose my own views on it and my level of exposure to it), I don't know much about the general beliefs of many religions. So, that class will be one that'll give me a lot of insight into many of the world's religions, from Christian sects to Daoist (Taoism) sects.
I'm also taking a Poetry writing class. From just taking a literature class on Poetry, it helped out my writing and appreciation for fiction so much by making me more aware of each and every word, of all its different definitions and conotations, and of the use of sound by grouping together certain words. I figure by looking at poetry from a writer's perspective now will help out even more, since I will be putting to use all the things I learned from that class into my own poetic creations.
Finally, my biology class is seeming as if it is going to be the bane of my existance. I don't even want to talk about what I have to do in that class or how the teacher is. Heh, even just thinking about it gets me upset. Out of my five classes, this one (along with the lab that goes along with it) is going to be the hurdle standing between me and graduation. I don't even care about getting an "A" in it, I just want to pass it.
Sometime soon I will post up some of the very useful tips and tricks I learned and picked up from the writing class I took last term and learned from the teacher, mainly for those of you who do write. It should be up within this week, since I do have a lot more time on my hands these days now. On that note, probably tomorrow, I'll finally do a post on all the manga I've been getting caught up with. I haven't been able to read any since December, but I'm finally getting caught back up on all the series I follow. I hope to keep them as spoiler free as possible.
And now for the part most of you can skip over, since this is just towards those who read my collection called Tales of the Night who have followed the link.
Well, first off, all I can say is getting to the half-way mark took about four months longer than I intended. Had everything gone to plan, mainly if my laptop hadn't died on me, by now, it would probably be close to being done. Anyways, the time-frame chapters 11-20 take place in is: for InuYasha-verse, it's been about a year and a half since Kagome has returned from the feudal era; for YYH-verse, it takes place right before, during, and right after the Dark Tournament Saga.
Kagome has pretty much become entirely adjusted to living in the modern era again (anyone notice how it's been quite a few chapters since she last thought of the feudal era and her friends with intent to return?) because of Hiei. On the other hand, Hiei is slowly changing, by canon timeline. He's becoming slightly more trusting/tolerating of humans, and it's showing with Kagome. I also like to think he's coming to understand himself even more that he can admit to himself things he doesn't want to admit to, like his attraction and such. I've been trying to show that the most, since I want him to be believable all the way through.
As for Kagome, I've been trying to show a different side to her character than most show. In manga canon, she is very giving and self-sacrificing, especially when it comes down to the happiness of someone she loves. While I won't deny it is a virtue, it can also be a weakness too. Hence why she is being that giving when she knows she probably shouldn't be from experiences with Inuyasha which told her she'll only get heartache. Yet, in manga canon, Kagome always came off to me as the type of person to always give even if it gets her hurt because she enjoys seeing the happiness of the person more.
I also always intended to have a lemon at the half-way mark for this story. I don't normally inclue lemons or anything explicit because I prefer intimacy rather than smut, so I tried combining the two. I hope I suceeded.
One day, I'll get back into the habit of posting more frequently to avoid these horrendously long posts.
But now, I think we both know now what we need to do. Because of who we are, we just can't do anything "half", it's all or nothing for us. All can't work out because of the circumstances, be they mine or yours. And we've tried the "half" to death. We already know we can't be "just friends" because there's too much between us that makes stepping back to that stone impossible. We've figured out we can't be "just lovers" either, it complicates everything because it makes us both want for more that we can't have.
So, my tender affection, let us just be the one thing that's still open to us before we destroy each other by clinging to this for too long. Let us just pretend to be nothing, it's the only way we'll get through this still intact. Please, walk past me as if you don't know me -- that you don't know how to make me laugh, how to make me forget all my worries, as if you don't know all the things I whisper only to the dark arms of night, as if you don't know how my skin feels against yours -- and I will do the same.
I say again, let's just pretend to be nothing. It is all I can guarantee on my end, so it is all I can ask of you. Perhaps, if in the future, we end up in the same place and the timing is right, let's try again. But for now, we should just let go and be all that is left for us to be. And after all, everyone says that nothing is the only thing that lasts forever.
Anyway, the first week of Spring Term has finally concluded. I'm lucky my math class looks as if it is going to be easy enough for me to breeze through it without much trouble. The Philosophy of Religion class I signed up for will be easy enough for me to do the work, and it looks like I'll be learning so much from it. Being rather Agnostic myself (meaning I have really no religious affilation), from having no contact with any religion in my childhood (my grandparents were very good about keeping religion from me, allowing me to choose my own views on it and my level of exposure to it), I don't know much about the general beliefs of many religions. So, that class will be one that'll give me a lot of insight into many of the world's religions, from Christian sects to Daoist (Taoism) sects.
I'm also taking a Poetry writing class. From just taking a literature class on Poetry, it helped out my writing and appreciation for fiction so much by making me more aware of each and every word, of all its different definitions and conotations, and of the use of sound by grouping together certain words. I figure by looking at poetry from a writer's perspective now will help out even more, since I will be putting to use all the things I learned from that class into my own poetic creations.
Finally, my biology class is seeming as if it is going to be the bane of my existance. I don't even want to talk about what I have to do in that class or how the teacher is. Heh, even just thinking about it gets me upset. Out of my five classes, this one (along with the lab that goes along with it) is going to be the hurdle standing between me and graduation. I don't even care about getting an "A" in it, I just want to pass it.
Sometime soon I will post up some of the very useful tips and tricks I learned and picked up from the writing class I took last term and learned from the teacher, mainly for those of you who do write. It should be up within this week, since I do have a lot more time on my hands these days now. On that note, probably tomorrow, I'll finally do a post on all the manga I've been getting caught up with. I haven't been able to read any since December, but I'm finally getting caught back up on all the series I follow. I hope to keep them as spoiler free as possible.
And now for the part most of you can skip over, since this is just towards those who read my collection called Tales of the Night who have followed the link.
Well, first off, all I can say is getting to the half-way mark took about four months longer than I intended. Had everything gone to plan, mainly if my laptop hadn't died on me, by now, it would probably be close to being done. Anyways, the time-frame chapters 11-20 take place in is: for InuYasha-verse, it's been about a year and a half since Kagome has returned from the feudal era; for YYH-verse, it takes place right before, during, and right after the Dark Tournament Saga.
Kagome has pretty much become entirely adjusted to living in the modern era again (anyone notice how it's been quite a few chapters since she last thought of the feudal era and her friends with intent to return?) because of Hiei. On the other hand, Hiei is slowly changing, by canon timeline. He's becoming slightly more trusting/tolerating of humans, and it's showing with Kagome. I also like to think he's coming to understand himself even more that he can admit to himself things he doesn't want to admit to, like his attraction and such. I've been trying to show that the most, since I want him to be believable all the way through.
As for Kagome, I've been trying to show a different side to her character than most show. In manga canon, she is very giving and self-sacrificing, especially when it comes down to the happiness of someone she loves. While I won't deny it is a virtue, it can also be a weakness too. Hence why she is being that giving when she knows she probably shouldn't be from experiences with Inuyasha which told her she'll only get heartache. Yet, in manga canon, Kagome always came off to me as the type of person to always give even if it gets her hurt because she enjoys seeing the happiness of the person more.
I also always intended to have a lemon at the half-way mark for this story. I don't normally inclue lemons or anything explicit because I prefer intimacy rather than smut, so I tried combining the two. I hope I suceeded.
One day, I'll get back into the habit of posting more frequently to avoid these horrendously long posts.