You are My Sweetest Downfall [2/2]
Title: You are My Sweetest Downfall
Chapters: 2/2
Author: yumemirunosekai
Pairing: Kame/Ueda (KameDa),
Rating: NC 17+
Warnings: handjobs, swearing
Synopsis: Ueda knew that he shouldn't fall for him. He knew that if he did, the pain that would befall him would be excruciating. Ueda didn't want to fall for him. He really didn't want to.
A/N: This is an AU story! ^_^
第一章
***
June 13, 2012
***
Ever since that day, Ueda found himself unable to stop thinking about Kamenashi.
But the strange thing was, Kamenashi never disturbed him again. He even returned his music sheet, in a way. Ueda had found it in his desk drawer the next day.
he should be relieved that Kamenashi was leaving him alone. That way he could stop feeding his attraction toward the other man, and perhaps even removed these annoying feelings. He didn't want to love Kamenashi.
Good lord, that was the last thing on Earth he wanted.
Liar.
He wanted Kamenashi.
And since that day, his want had grown into a gnawing need.
"Ueda, you've been pretty distracted these days." commented Nakamaru, his best friend. "And have you been eating much? You look skinnier than normal."
Ueda was not fine. And it was all Kamenashi's fault. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me.”
Nakamaru rolled his eyes. “You idiot. I can tell you're lying through your teeth. What is the problem now?” he waited for Ueda to answer, but the latter remained silent, his eyes darting around the room. Nakamaru sighed. “It's Kamenashi isn't it?”
Ueda flinched at the name. “No.”
“Liar.” scoffed Nakamaru. “You do know that asshole's a player, don't you?”
“Yes.”
“You do know his does not care for people one bit, don't you?”
“Yes.”
“And you do know he'll just chuck you out like dirt when he get's bored with you, right?”
“Yes.”
“And yet you still like him. Honestly, how dumb can you get?"
Ueda clamped his hands over his ears. He knew he was a complete and utter fool for falling for Kamenashi, but it was impossible for him to not not like the other boy. Everything boiled down to the million dollar question: Was he willing? Was he willing to sacrifice his self-discipline, his morals, or would he rather stay on the safe side? Watching, but not touching?
_________
"I need to talk to you."
Ueda cringed visibly that voice. A mixture of sensations erupted within him, longing, anger, annoyance, excitement, nausea, and not strangely, lust.
The library was empty at this hour. Why was he here?
He daren't look up.
"Hey, look at me."
No. Go away. Get lost.
Ueda heard Kamenashi sigh. "Fine then. I'll just ask you straight out."
I don't want to hear. Don't tell me. I don't want to know.
"Do you like me?"
And there we go. The question he never wanted to hear.
Ueda finally looked up, an expressionless look on his features that rivalled Kamenashi's own. "What make's you say that?" queried Ueda cooly.
Kamenashi returned his stare with a steely look. "Do you?"
"That's debatable." replied Ueda, pushing his silver frames higher up the bridge of his nose and returning to his book. "Depends on which part of you you are referring to. If you have nothing else you want to ask, I have to finish this by tomorrow, so-"
But Kamenashi swiftly extracted the book from Ueda's hands and shut it with a snap. Damn this ass was persistent. "You haven't answered my question." argued Kamenashi, squatting down to Ueda's height. "What do you mean by 'debatable'?"
Ueda removed his glasses, shaking his coppery tresses from its constraints. "Well, to be frank, I hate your habits." replied Ueda flatly. "I hate the fact that you have no morals, and I hate it that you don't care what you do to other people. You only prioritise your own enjoyments and you toy with people's feelings like playthings. In all honesty, it disgusts me."
Kamenashi didn't look fazed, but Ueda could see the flash of sudden hurt which passes across the player's face. It was to subtle that if he had blinked, he would have missed it. Kamenashi suddenly chuckled painfully, scratching the back of his head. "Wow. You really are straight with your words."
"It's the truth." said Ueda.
"And despite all that, you still like me." hummed Kamenashi, a smile playing across his lips. "Even though you insult my habits, and say that it disgusts you, not once did you ever say you hate me."
Shit. This guy was sharp.
"But I never said I liked you either." retorted Ueda, snatching his book back and preparing to leave, but Kamenashi stopped him, gabbing the bottom of his chin and kissing him deeply.
Kamenashi's tongue was completely dominating his, and Ueda felt his knees buckle, but there was an arm around his waist which held him up.
His book and spectacles slipped from his hands and hit the wooden floor with dull thuds. Kamenashi had pushed him against one of the towering bookshelves and proceeded to assault his neck, tearing wanton moans from his lips.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" panted Ueda, trying to pull away.
"Hm? I plan to fuck you senseless before the end of the day." whispered Kamenashi into Ueda's pale skin, sending shivers of pleasure up the latter's spine.
He could feel Kamenashi's arousal through his trousers, pressed against he own member, which was also hard and throbbing.
At this point, Ueda knew that resisting was pointless.
He wanted this; craved it, even though he knew that it would lead to nothing but his ruin.
_________
"Christ, you look like hell, Ueda."
Ueda groaned, and proceeded to limp to his seat, his entire body, especially from the waist down, as sore as anything. "Don't remind me." snapped Ueda, gingerly lowering himself down.
A sly smirk was plastered on Nakamaru's face. "You finally got laid, huh? Well, that's what you get when you go on without sex for- how long was it? Nevermind that, who was it? Junno? I know he's had a crush on you since forever."
Ueda didn't answer, instead turned his head to look out the window. "I don't want to discuss it."
At first Nakamaru was puzzled. Ueda wasn't usually this gloomy. He was quiet, sure, but this? It didn't take long for the gears in his head to start turning, and he easily put the pieces together. "Oh god no. Please tell me you didn't!" hissed Nakamaru, forcing Ueda to face him.
"I'm fine." sighed Ueda.
"No you are not. For the love of- what were you thinking?? You actually let Kamenashi fuck you?" Nakamaru sighed loudly. "I can't even- Forget it, just… I don't want to know."
"I couldn't help it. Yuichi, I- I think I love him." whispered Ueda, suddenly looking very frightened. "I didn't know I loved him this much until, well… that."
"NO." said Nakamaru firmly. "Nononono, you cannot love that jerk. You aren't even supposed to like him! Ueda, I just don't want you see you hurt, but I guess that's too late fro that."
Ueda dug his head into his arms and laid there on the desk, face down.
"From now on, just stay away from him, okay?" chided Nakamaru, patting Ueda on the back comfortingly.
Ueda didn't respond. He could hardly remember what happened that day, except that it was the best day of his life. And this was the price. Kamenashi was intoxicating, and this was the comeuppance he received for falling into that player's trap.
But the strange thing, was that through the haze of lust, sweat, sex, and moans, Ueda could remember Kamenashi apologising profusely as he pounded hard into him.
________
Nakamaru had punched Kamenashi across the face, and would have broken the latter's jaw, hadn't it been for Ueda who stopped him.
Unlike usual, instead of a smatass comeback that Kamenashi would have ready at the tip of his tongue, he was silent when Nakamaru continued to yell at him, resisting Ueda as the boy tried to force him out the classroom.
Ueda avoided Kamenashi meticulously.
But once or twice, he would walk in on the player in intimate moments with random girls, and sometimes guys. As expected, he had reverted back to his normal routine.
It hurt.
A lot.
And Ueda swallowed it without complaining.
He deserved it anyway. Nakamaru had warned him, heck, the logical part of his brain had warned him. But did he listen? No.
Still, it felt as though Kamenashi had betrayed what they shared together that day. It was a stupid reasoning, but that was how Ueda saw it as.
All he wanted to do now was never see or think about Kamenashi again, but lately, it was getting harder and harder. Ueda had the suspicion that Kamenashi was trying to get him alone. Like that was going to happen ever again.
***
August 13, 2012
***
"I said to wait!"
A hand clamped over his arm and dragged him forcefully into one of the empty science labs. Ueda was sent spinning to one of the grant benches, where he braced himself before turning around to face the culprit.
Why wasn't he surprised to see that it was Kamenashi? The guy had practically been stalking him for a month now.
"Jeez, I've been trying to get hold of you for weeks!" panted Kamenashi, looking all hot and bothered.
"For what? You want to fuck me and then dump me again?" deadpanned Ueda, his careless tone made Kamenashi wince. "What the hell do you think I am?"
"Please, just listen. Please." begged Kamenashi, and this made Ueda really worried. Since when did Kamenashi beg? "First, I want to apologise. I know it was wrong to toy with your feelings like that. And I'm sorry I left you alone that day. It was cowardly and tactless."
Ueda nodded uncertainly. "What are you getting at?"
"I- I think I love you, Ueda."
Did he just hear right? Was Kamenashi playing with him again? "Congratulations." he drawled, untouched. "And you figure this out after you twist me around you little finger, have sex with me, then chuck me. Really, do you take me for a fool?"
"You have the right to hate me. I'm not going to deny that. But in all honesty, Ueda, I love you. And I'm sorry that I played with your feelings."
"Yeah, and I have the right to not believe you either." retorted Ueda, and began to push past Kamenashi, but the latter suddenly grabbed hold of Ueda's shoulders and cornered him. "You have to believe me." whispered Kamenashi. His eyes were bright, and Ueda wondered if those were unshed tears. "Ever since that day, I feel so damn guilty whenever I'm with someone else. It just feels wrong. Dirty and wrong. Please, you have to believe me."
Ueda was dumbstruck. He was even more surprised when Kamenashi suddenly enveloped him in a sweet hug. It wasn't forceful, nor was it like when he was aroused, it felt… sincere. Kamenashi sighed as he nuzzled into Ueda's hair, making the latter blush a hundred different shades of red.
"Now what are you up to?" mumbled Ueda, his voice muffled by Kamenashi's shoulder.
"I'm just trying something. Y'know, without thinking about the sex and all." Kamenashi hugged Ueda tighter. "I love you."
Ueda felt his heart melting. Again. Seriously, was he this weak against Kamenashi? "Listen, I'm not just going to forgive you so that everything can be all fine and dandy again."
Kamenashi nodded.
"And I'm not even going to trust you at all yet." continued Ueda.
Kamenashi nodded.
"And I want you to straighten up and be serious."
"I am serious." replied Kamenashi, still refusing to let go.
Ueda huffed. "And you expect me to believe that?"
Kamenashi finally released him, looking ashamed of himself. "I know you won't accept me now, but just… I dunno, give me a chance."
"A chance, huh…"
***
February 14, 2013
***
"Hey, d'you know Kamenashi? Apparently he tracked down all the girls he hurt and apologised to them publicly. Bowed down and everything. Rumour says that he quit his 'hobby'. If it's true, you think I'll have a chance with him?"
"I highly doubt that. He's got a boyfriend already, and I believe they've been going steady for half a year now."
"Ehhh, is that so…. How cute."
～～～～～～～～～～～～～
"真的爱，不会死“
「终」
A/N: This is something I found in my fics folder!
I wrote it quite some time ago and forgot all about it, but I re-read it and thought that it sounded quite okay I suppose >///<
The bottom is Chinese text, which is translated as: real love, never dies. <3
I think I got the idea after watching the Voice 2012, when one of the contestants sang 'Samson' by Regina Spektor. The first verse was 'You are me sweetest Downfall. So this fic kinda wrote itself, that's why I thinks its not really that good. Sorry !!!
So. good? bad? ^^
Thank you for taking time to read this!