[Fanfiction:] Too Much (One-Shot)
Title: Too much
Pairing: Tegomass
Genre: ANGST
Rating: Completely safe
Disclaimer: I wouldn't have to go to Sweden if I owned them, would I?
Summery: Tegoshi changed and didn't just lose himself in the progress, but also Massu
A/N: It's Tegoshi-centric.
That idea had been in my mind for months now. Certain sentences where disturbing me while writing on Fade Into the Background today and I figured I couldn't go on with that story if I won't write this down, finally.
It's pure Angst, but well...if the response is good and people want me to, I'll probably write a second part.
If I'm in the mood I'll probably do it, however, since this ending is quite heart breaking T_T Let's see how long I can live wth it XD
Have fun! *ironical laugh*
Too much, Tegoshi thought, probably meant that he had gone too far.
He wasn’t good in analysing himself; he had never been. But when it came to Masuda he had always thought he knew what to do.
Masuda was a gentle and understanding person after all, wasn’t he? He was always there for Tegoshi, would always have a good answer and was always capable of comforting him.
So, how came Masuda wasn’t here right now that he needed comfort the most?
Tegoshi sighed heavily as he got out of his bed and slowly walked down the stairs. No one was home, he was all alone. Tinny was sleeping peacefully at a big pillow in the kitchen and just looked up for a second, as he entered the room.
From the wall, his own eyes were staring at him. His mother had put the pictures of him up when they had started NEWS and they were still there.
Cute, awkwardly cute, was what came to his mind.
Innocent was what others would have called it.
But, staring at his own reflection in the window glass, Tegoshi thought that innocent was one of the things he had never been.
He had been shy and insecure, had had a bad taste in styling and no sense in using the spotlight, afraid of saying the wrong things or being rejected because of his weird humour; but he’d never been innocent.
With every passing year he had become more beautiful, more open, more daring. He’d been not just doing singing, but also acting and reporting. All that had given him confidence to show himself and not to hold back.
He had grown up so much and now he was even looking better when he just came out of his bed, his hair messy, his eyes tired, with dark rings beneath. But still prettier than the boy who smiled his biggest and most innocent smile from the poster.
As Tegoshi sat down and leaned against the glass window behind him, he wished he could be that boy again.
Of course, being an idol was what he always had wanted to be. He wanted to be right at this spot. Being called pretty and handsome, having millions of fans adoring him, being in front of the camera and have everyone’s attention.
That was what he was like, what he enjoyed most, but it wasn’t as satisfying as he had always imagined it.
He remembered the day when he had entered that big photo studio. It had just been about eight months that he’d been in the agency and when he had spotted the other boys, he couldn’t have done anything but to gulp down his fear and walk over to them.
“Who are you?” Nishikodo had asked with an unfriendly look.
Of course they hadn’t known him, how should they have? He’d been as remarkable as a corn of sand at a beach.
“Don’t take him too serious, he’s just like that”, one of the boys had reassured Tegoshi and whenever he remembered it now, Tegoshi was sure that that had been the moment when he had noticed Masuda had the nicest smile of all.
From then on, Masuda had been with him. He had slowed down to Tegoshi’s pace, had been with him, even though he could have been with everyone else in the band.
When Tegoshi had been about to give up and leave NEWS because he felt he was too weak, too slow, too goddamn normal for everyone else in the band, Masuda had been there to stop him.
Masuda had made him stay with just a single “Stay with me.”
So, Tegoshi had decided to stay by Masuda’s side and give his best to deserve that place.
Self-centred, Tegoshi thought, was what he was. That’s why he had forgotten about his reason to stay. Masuda had been by his side all the time, always watching over him.
But Tegoshi hadn’t noticed, his pace had changed and he had fastened it, forgetting to wait for Masuda to keep up with him.
They had used to go out together, to shop, eat, karaoke together whenever they had time to. Because of Masuda, Tegoshi had felt more carefree to be himself around the others, too.
If they had not accepted him the way he really was, he would not have been alone. Masuda would have caught him, would have been by his side, would have protected him.
But they had accepted him.
The band, the managers, the fans. Everyone had accepted him the way he was and they loved him; even spoiled him.
And Masuda had just watched him from the background, had smiled over his development, happy for him to be able to change that much.
Too much, Tegoshi thought again and tipped his fingers against the glass, watching the rain outside. Way too much.
They hadn’t been out together anymore, lately. Usually, Tegoshi would have stood over at Masuda’s place for a night, for no particular reason, just to be with him, to talk with him. They would have spent the night with stupid games, watching movies, dramas of the other members, concerts of Rock bands and fall asleep.
They’ve always shared a bed and when Tegoshi woke up in the morning, he found himself in Masuda’s embrace. Warm and comfortable, he would nuzzle into that embrace and go back to a slight slumber until they’d have to get up again.
Tegoshi hadn’t noticed, but he missed those times. The times when Masuda had been his very best friend.
By now, he used to go out whenever he had time. Of course, he had gone out before as well, practicing soccer. But in the evenings he would have returned to Masuda always.
He hadn’t done so in a while. He went out with other friends, to go to bars and clubs, to dance all night, drink in exclusive VIP rooms and polish his image of a playboy.
“It’s too much”, Masuda had said yesterday and in his eyes Tegoshi could have seen the pain. “You’re not the one I used to know anymore.”
Tegoshi had only been able to stare at him, not knowing what Masuda meant.
“We’ve somehow lost each other, Tegoshi, and I don’t think we can go back to were we’ve been.” He had turned his back to the younger one, leaving him behind. “I’m sorry.”
And with that in mind, Tegoshi sat at home right now, watching the rain outside the window and realizing that Masuda had been right. That he had made the older one suffer.
He had lost Masuda a long time ago and only because of his own selfishness he hadn’t even noticed.
His head leaned against the window and his gaze stared at nothing, his eyes teary. Usually, at this point, he would have called Masuda to tell him, because Masuda always understood him. Masuda would always come over and care for him, reassure him that things were going to be alright.
But things wouldn’t be alright ever again.
“Massu…” Tegoshi whispered, his voice shaky.
By graduating from the awkwardly cute boy to the handsome and pretty man, Tegoshi had lost Masuda.
The only person he had ever truly loved.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading. Comments are always ♥ ^___^
Pairing: Tegomass
Genre: ANGST
Rating: Completely safe
Disclaimer: I wouldn't have to go to Sweden if I owned them, would I?
Summery: Tegoshi changed and didn't just lose himself in the progress, but also Massu
A/N: It's Tegoshi-centric.
That idea had been in my mind for months now. Certain sentences where disturbing me while writing on Fade Into the Background today and I figured I couldn't go on with that story if I won't write this down, finally.
It's pure Angst, but well...if the response is good and people want me to, I'll probably write a second part.
If I'm in the mood I'll probably do it, however, since this ending is quite heart breaking T_T Let's see how long I can live wth it XD
Have fun! *ironical laugh*
Too much, Tegoshi thought, probably meant that he had gone too far.
He wasn’t good in analysing himself; he had never been. But when it came to Masuda he had always thought he knew what to do.
Masuda was a gentle and understanding person after all, wasn’t he? He was always there for Tegoshi, would always have a good answer and was always capable of comforting him.
So, how came Masuda wasn’t here right now that he needed comfort the most?
Tegoshi sighed heavily as he got out of his bed and slowly walked down the stairs. No one was home, he was all alone. Tinny was sleeping peacefully at a big pillow in the kitchen and just looked up for a second, as he entered the room.
From the wall, his own eyes were staring at him. His mother had put the pictures of him up when they had started NEWS and they were still there.
Cute, awkwardly cute, was what came to his mind.
Innocent was what others would have called it.
But, staring at his own reflection in the window glass, Tegoshi thought that innocent was one of the things he had never been.
He had been shy and insecure, had had a bad taste in styling and no sense in using the spotlight, afraid of saying the wrong things or being rejected because of his weird humour; but he’d never been innocent.
With every passing year he had become more beautiful, more open, more daring. He’d been not just doing singing, but also acting and reporting. All that had given him confidence to show himself and not to hold back.
He had grown up so much and now he was even looking better when he just came out of his bed, his hair messy, his eyes tired, with dark rings beneath. But still prettier than the boy who smiled his biggest and most innocent smile from the poster.
As Tegoshi sat down and leaned against the glass window behind him, he wished he could be that boy again.
Of course, being an idol was what he always had wanted to be. He wanted to be right at this spot. Being called pretty and handsome, having millions of fans adoring him, being in front of the camera and have everyone’s attention.
That was what he was like, what he enjoyed most, but it wasn’t as satisfying as he had always imagined it.
He remembered the day when he had entered that big photo studio. It had just been about eight months that he’d been in the agency and when he had spotted the other boys, he couldn’t have done anything but to gulp down his fear and walk over to them.
“Who are you?” Nishikodo had asked with an unfriendly look.
Of course they hadn’t known him, how should they have? He’d been as remarkable as a corn of sand at a beach.
“Don’t take him too serious, he’s just like that”, one of the boys had reassured Tegoshi and whenever he remembered it now, Tegoshi was sure that that had been the moment when he had noticed Masuda had the nicest smile of all.
From then on, Masuda had been with him. He had slowed down to Tegoshi’s pace, had been with him, even though he could have been with everyone else in the band.
When Tegoshi had been about to give up and leave NEWS because he felt he was too weak, too slow, too goddamn normal for everyone else in the band, Masuda had been there to stop him.
Masuda had made him stay with just a single “Stay with me.”
So, Tegoshi had decided to stay by Masuda’s side and give his best to deserve that place.
Self-centred, Tegoshi thought, was what he was. That’s why he had forgotten about his reason to stay. Masuda had been by his side all the time, always watching over him.
But Tegoshi hadn’t noticed, his pace had changed and he had fastened it, forgetting to wait for Masuda to keep up with him.
They had used to go out together, to shop, eat, karaoke together whenever they had time to. Because of Masuda, Tegoshi had felt more carefree to be himself around the others, too.
If they had not accepted him the way he really was, he would not have been alone. Masuda would have caught him, would have been by his side, would have protected him.
But they had accepted him.
The band, the managers, the fans. Everyone had accepted him the way he was and they loved him; even spoiled him.
And Masuda had just watched him from the background, had smiled over his development, happy for him to be able to change that much.
Too much, Tegoshi thought again and tipped his fingers against the glass, watching the rain outside. Way too much.
They hadn’t been out together anymore, lately. Usually, Tegoshi would have stood over at Masuda’s place for a night, for no particular reason, just to be with him, to talk with him. They would have spent the night with stupid games, watching movies, dramas of the other members, concerts of Rock bands and fall asleep.
They’ve always shared a bed and when Tegoshi woke up in the morning, he found himself in Masuda’s embrace. Warm and comfortable, he would nuzzle into that embrace and go back to a slight slumber until they’d have to get up again.
Tegoshi hadn’t noticed, but he missed those times. The times when Masuda had been his very best friend.
By now, he used to go out whenever he had time. Of course, he had gone out before as well, practicing soccer. But in the evenings he would have returned to Masuda always.
He hadn’t done so in a while. He went out with other friends, to go to bars and clubs, to dance all night, drink in exclusive VIP rooms and polish his image of a playboy.
“It’s too much”, Masuda had said yesterday and in his eyes Tegoshi could have seen the pain. “You’re not the one I used to know anymore.”
Tegoshi had only been able to stare at him, not knowing what Masuda meant.
“We’ve somehow lost each other, Tegoshi, and I don’t think we can go back to were we’ve been.” He had turned his back to the younger one, leaving him behind. “I’m sorry.”
And with that in mind, Tegoshi sat at home right now, watching the rain outside the window and realizing that Masuda had been right. That he had made the older one suffer.
He had lost Masuda a long time ago and only because of his own selfishness he hadn’t even noticed.
His head leaned against the window and his gaze stared at nothing, his eyes teary. Usually, at this point, he would have called Masuda to tell him, because Masuda always understood him. Masuda would always come over and care for him, reassure him that things were going to be alright.
But things wouldn’t be alright ever again.
“Massu…” Tegoshi whispered, his voice shaky.
By graduating from the awkwardly cute boy to the handsome and pretty man, Tegoshi had lost Masuda.
The only person he had ever truly loved.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for reading. Comments are always ♥ ^___^