LJ Idol Week 3
Daryl Hanover was a man’s man. He was tall. He was broad shouldered and wide chested with pale blue eyes and golden blonde hair. Everything you’d expect from the guy who had been the star quarterback of both his high school and college football teams. Even now, 5 years post college, he maintained that stature, not going to seed like so many men who were athletes in their youths. Daryl was an in your face kinda guy. A push your buttons kinda guy. An always get the girl kinda guy. Which was kinda surprising, since Daryl Hanover was an asshole.
While Chris Walker wasn’t the exact opposite of Daryl, he was close enough for government work. He stood nearly as tall as Daryl, but had none of the width or girth. He had lanky dark hair and eyes hidden behind coke-bottle glasses. He was the type of guy you’d expect to have had a calculator in the breast pocket of his button down, before smart phones were cool. He’d gone to high school with Daryl, and they’d attended the same college, even taken a few of the same classes, both being accounting majors. Chris had managed to escape high school unscathed, helped by the fact, he was sure, that he’d let Daryl copy on a few tests. And he’d tended to fly pretty low on the social radar. He wasn’t sure Daryl had even recognized him in college.
One Friday night, Chris got an invite to accompany some work colleagues for a night out for a coworker’s birthday. After he’d politely declined, they’d dragged him along anyway. Just as they were entering The Cooler, Chris heard a loud guffaw. He glanced around and saw Daryl in all his blond, muscular glory, standing at one end of the bar, high fiving a similarly muscled friend. Chris groaned.
“Do you know him?” the birthday girl asked.
“Yeah, we went to high school together.”
‘He’s kinda cute.”
“Better if you leave that one alone, Lisey. He’s a jerk.”
It wasn’t long before Chris had forgotten that Daryl was there. In spite of being the only sober one in the group, he was having a good time. The company was good and the band wasn’t bad. A local country band, so he got to show off his two-stepping skills when he convinced Lisey and the blonde from billing to dance a couple songs with him. They had just finished a polka when Chris realized that everyone’s drink was empty.
“This round’s on me, guys.”
He headed to the bar and gave the bartender the drink order. “Two glasses of white wine, a grape vodka tonic, a Blue Moon, and a glass of water.”
“That’s a girly drink order if I ever heard one.”
Chris turned and saw Daryl sitting at his elbow. His cheeks had the rosy glow of someone who’d had just a little too much to drink.
“Well, it’s for a group of girls, so I guess that makes sense.”
“Please tell me the beer is yours, at least.” He had a slight slur to his speech.
“Ah, no. The water. I don’t drink.”
Daryl stared at Chris as though the thought of someone at a bar not drinking were so foreign as to be incomprehensible. He narrowed his eyes. “Do I know you?”
“Um, we went to high school together.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ‘member. Chad. Or Karl.”
“Chris,” Chris said gently.
“Right. Chris! How the hell you been, dude?” Without waiting for a response, Daryl made a c’mere gesture with his hand to his muscular friend at the end of the bar. “Hey! Jared! Get over here!” He put his arm around Chris’s shoulders. “This is Chris. This jackass is the only reason I passed high school Poli Sci and senior English! Helluva guy.”
“Uh, thanks.” Chris shrugged Daryl’s arm off his shoulder and handed the bartender his credit card.
“You want me to leave it open?”
“Sure.”
“Hey, Chris, you gonna buy your old buddy a drink?”
“I think you’ve had enough.” Chris picked up the drinks for his table. “Have a good night, Daryl.”
“Whatever, Chrissy.” Daryl brushed Chris off with a wave of his hand and turned back to his beer.
The bar was getting crowded, and Chris had to elbow his way back to the table.
“Everything okay?” Lisey asked when Chris dropped the drinks off.
“Yeah, just ran into Daryl at the bar.”
The other girls at the table thanked Chris for their drinks and resumed their conversation. From what Chris could gather, it was something to do with slut-shaming. From there, it progressed to gender inequality and the wage gap. Chris excused himself to go to the restroom.
When he was returned, Daryl was in his seat. He saw Chris and gave him that c’mere gesture with his hand.
“Listen to this bitch, Chrissy.” He waved his beer at Lisey. “Raggin’ ‘bout how men get paid more than women. Men are more qualified than women, amirite?”
“Leave her be, Daryl,” Chris warned.
“Oooooh, Chrissy. My bad. This your girlfriend?”
“Just a friend.”
“Well I was just telling your friend here that a man can do anything a woman can do and he can do it better.”
“Any man can do anything better than any woman?” Chris asked.
“Well, I don’t know about any man. There’s a lot of pussies out there.” Daryl gave Chris a pointed look. “But I can do anything better than a girl.”
“Really?” Chris said, feigning surprise. He turned in a circle, drawing the attention of the people around him. “Did you all hear that?”
A crowd started to gather.
“Chris!” Lisey hissed. “What are you doing?”
Probably getting my ass kicked, he thought to himself, but didn’t answer her.
“Wait, wait, wait!” he yelled. He waved at the band. “Hey, kill the music!”
To his surprise, they did.
“Hey, y’all! This guy here, Daryl,” Chris noticed he had the attention of almost the entire bar, “says he can do anything a woman can do. And, get this, he can do it better!”
He turned back to Daryl. “Isn’t that right, Daryl?”
“You bet your ass, Chrissy.”
The bar was silent. Chris let the silence hang just for a brief moment.
“You must suck some damn good dick, then.”
The silence thickened. Daryl stood up, leaving his beer on the table. He walked up to Chris, puffing his chest out. His frame was easily twice as wide as Chris’s, but Chris refused to back down. Daryl’s face was just a few inches from Chris’s. The crowd gathered closer, anticipating a fight.
Daryl broke out into a huge grin and a giant, full-belly laugh. The crowd joined in and the band started their next number.
Daryl clapped Chris on the back. “That’s fuckin’ funny, dude. Let me buy you a drink.”
He started leading Chris to the bar as he protested. “But I don’t drink.”
“Eh, I’ll buy you a coke.”
Chris couldn’t completely change Daryl from an asshole to an all around good guy, but as Daryl, much to Chris’s embarrassment, related the story three years later as the best man at Chris and Lisey’s wedding, he concluded by saying that he was definitely a better man for knowing him.
While Chris Walker wasn’t the exact opposite of Daryl, he was close enough for government work. He stood nearly as tall as Daryl, but had none of the width or girth. He had lanky dark hair and eyes hidden behind coke-bottle glasses. He was the type of guy you’d expect to have had a calculator in the breast pocket of his button down, before smart phones were cool. He’d gone to high school with Daryl, and they’d attended the same college, even taken a few of the same classes, both being accounting majors. Chris had managed to escape high school unscathed, helped by the fact, he was sure, that he’d let Daryl copy on a few tests. And he’d tended to fly pretty low on the social radar. He wasn’t sure Daryl had even recognized him in college.
One Friday night, Chris got an invite to accompany some work colleagues for a night out for a coworker’s birthday. After he’d politely declined, they’d dragged him along anyway. Just as they were entering The Cooler, Chris heard a loud guffaw. He glanced around and saw Daryl in all his blond, muscular glory, standing at one end of the bar, high fiving a similarly muscled friend. Chris groaned.
“Do you know him?” the birthday girl asked.
“Yeah, we went to high school together.”
‘He’s kinda cute.”
“Better if you leave that one alone, Lisey. He’s a jerk.”
It wasn’t long before Chris had forgotten that Daryl was there. In spite of being the only sober one in the group, he was having a good time. The company was good and the band wasn’t bad. A local country band, so he got to show off his two-stepping skills when he convinced Lisey and the blonde from billing to dance a couple songs with him. They had just finished a polka when Chris realized that everyone’s drink was empty.
“This round’s on me, guys.”
He headed to the bar and gave the bartender the drink order. “Two glasses of white wine, a grape vodka tonic, a Blue Moon, and a glass of water.”
“That’s a girly drink order if I ever heard one.”
Chris turned and saw Daryl sitting at his elbow. His cheeks had the rosy glow of someone who’d had just a little too much to drink.
“Well, it’s for a group of girls, so I guess that makes sense.”
“Please tell me the beer is yours, at least.” He had a slight slur to his speech.
“Ah, no. The water. I don’t drink.”
Daryl stared at Chris as though the thought of someone at a bar not drinking were so foreign as to be incomprehensible. He narrowed his eyes. “Do I know you?”
“Um, we went to high school together.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ‘member. Chad. Or Karl.”
“Chris,” Chris said gently.
“Right. Chris! How the hell you been, dude?” Without waiting for a response, Daryl made a c’mere gesture with his hand to his muscular friend at the end of the bar. “Hey! Jared! Get over here!” He put his arm around Chris’s shoulders. “This is Chris. This jackass is the only reason I passed high school Poli Sci and senior English! Helluva guy.”
“Uh, thanks.” Chris shrugged Daryl’s arm off his shoulder and handed the bartender his credit card.
“You want me to leave it open?”
“Sure.”
“Hey, Chris, you gonna buy your old buddy a drink?”
“I think you’ve had enough.” Chris picked up the drinks for his table. “Have a good night, Daryl.”
“Whatever, Chrissy.” Daryl brushed Chris off with a wave of his hand and turned back to his beer.
The bar was getting crowded, and Chris had to elbow his way back to the table.
“Everything okay?” Lisey asked when Chris dropped the drinks off.
“Yeah, just ran into Daryl at the bar.”
The other girls at the table thanked Chris for their drinks and resumed their conversation. From what Chris could gather, it was something to do with slut-shaming. From there, it progressed to gender inequality and the wage gap. Chris excused himself to go to the restroom.
When he was returned, Daryl was in his seat. He saw Chris and gave him that c’mere gesture with his hand.
“Listen to this bitch, Chrissy.” He waved his beer at Lisey. “Raggin’ ‘bout how men get paid more than women. Men are more qualified than women, amirite?”
“Leave her be, Daryl,” Chris warned.
“Oooooh, Chrissy. My bad. This your girlfriend?”
“Just a friend.”
“Well I was just telling your friend here that a man can do anything a woman can do and he can do it better.”
“Any man can do anything better than any woman?” Chris asked.
“Well, I don’t know about any man. There’s a lot of pussies out there.” Daryl gave Chris a pointed look. “But I can do anything better than a girl.”
“Really?” Chris said, feigning surprise. He turned in a circle, drawing the attention of the people around him. “Did you all hear that?”
A crowd started to gather.
“Chris!” Lisey hissed. “What are you doing?”
Probably getting my ass kicked, he thought to himself, but didn’t answer her.
“Wait, wait, wait!” he yelled. He waved at the band. “Hey, kill the music!”
To his surprise, they did.
“Hey, y’all! This guy here, Daryl,” Chris noticed he had the attention of almost the entire bar, “says he can do anything a woman can do. And, get this, he can do it better!”
He turned back to Daryl. “Isn’t that right, Daryl?”
“You bet your ass, Chrissy.”
The bar was silent. Chris let the silence hang just for a brief moment.
“You must suck some damn good dick, then.”
The silence thickened. Daryl stood up, leaving his beer on the table. He walked up to Chris, puffing his chest out. His frame was easily twice as wide as Chris’s, but Chris refused to back down. Daryl’s face was just a few inches from Chris’s. The crowd gathered closer, anticipating a fight.
Daryl broke out into a huge grin and a giant, full-belly laugh. The crowd joined in and the band started their next number.
Daryl clapped Chris on the back. “That’s fuckin’ funny, dude. Let me buy you a drink.”
He started leading Chris to the bar as he protested. “But I don’t drink.”
“Eh, I’ll buy you a coke.”
Chris couldn’t completely change Daryl from an asshole to an all around good guy, but as Daryl, much to Chris’s embarrassment, related the story three years later as the best man at Chris and Lisey’s wedding, he concluded by saying that he was definitely a better man for knowing him.