Spiders in my sleep
Title: Spiders in my sleep
Pairings: YunJae
Length: 8 parts + epilogue
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I was inspired by "Papa to Kiss in the Dark'. If you're familiar with the OVAs and have your reservations about the main theme there, even if it's YJ I would suggest that you don't read this. The story doesn't have any inhibitions about it. If you do like, hope you enjoy :)
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff,
Summary: Everyone is blessed with one special thing. For Jung Jaejoong, it was his father and he needed no more. His father who was his world and he loved deeply, taut filial ties had no favoritism over right and wrong.
Most kids who are insecure, they do not realize that’s because of their parents. Should have them paying insurance for their lack of confidence in making decisions, embracing challenges and overall dealing with life. What a profitable business that would be, to have their parents settle an invoice by direct debit or credit card every time they messed up during a public speech or every time someone rejected their invitation for a date, every time someone bullied them and humiliate them in front of a large, mean crowd of hormonal, pathetic little beings.
Papa you did a terrible job raising me and now I’m an inept dealing with open spaces, people, school life, work, love, expectation. I've become an outcast. I have anxiety attacks, stammering issues and gastritis, please deposit to my account within the next week or I’ll kill myself.
Jung Jaejoong could foresee his ascend to billionaire land with a marketing like that. However, that would be hypocritical if we talk about him. Jung Jaejoong was different, very different indeed. One of those rare cases not so easy to spot and that when spotted, excused and hidden. His family consisted of his father and a fat Russian blue cat, named Jung JiJi. Jaejoong didn’t have any siblings and he didn’t have a mother. His mother died when he was only 5 seconds old. Enough time to say hello and good luck, the little insensitive bastard would joke.
The cat was his little brother, though in cat years Jiji was older than Jaejoong and from a human perspective, he was more dependable. His father thought so as well and Jaejoong did not argue he might be right.
Among Jaejoong’s proud possessions, asides from his dad, his cat, his hair, his face and his camera with which he took naked pictures of his dad, there was his music room, which came with the big house his father bought a couple years ago. They used to live in a smaller place which was cozy and inviting for the two of them and the overweight cat. However, his father decided to invest in real states since the prices were more affordable during the country’s crisis in 2008. Now they had a house as big as a manor and a little farm in Busan.
His father was a stockbroker, ridiculously gorgeous man to be sitting in an office all day, but perfectly suited for the manliness of the job, the suit, the yells and for ordering people around. Jung Yunho was very good at what he did and he knew the market like the palm of his hand. Recession is the perfect time to buy, he’d tell his child.
There was a story that remained in the back of little Jaejoong’s head and would always make him grin wide when the economy collapsed like an airplane without wings. It was the story about a bunch of people in depth and one salary man who wanted to spend the night at their village. He went to their little hostel and gave the receptionist the money for one night and while the salary man looked around the place to check if he liked it enough to stay, with the man’s money the receptionist paid her depth to the bellboy who paid his depth to the chef who paid his depth to the tailor who paid his depth to another person and that of another person and at the end, the same old bill returned to the receptionist from someone who owed her as well. The salary man decided he did not want to stay, took his money back, and left, but everybody was free of depth.
Little Jaejoong did not remember the story as well as his father once told him, with more characters and more transactions, but the message was the same: in times of recession when everybody keeps their safe untouched, the Jungs buy. His father told him that lack of money was not a problem, there was more than enough money in the world. The problem was when money didn’t move. Money could not stay in one’s hands.
Jung Jaejoong understands now at the blossoming age of 16 years old that life and money are much more complex than that and many other fairy tale dotted stories his father told him. However, for making him believe it was that easy and pretty, Jaejoong loved his father very much. His father, who made everything seem so reachable to his hands ever since he was a futile child with stinky pants and mud all over his face, was the one to blame for Jaejoong still felt like the little boy who put on his red gown and played he was Joseon's first Queen and papa his King. And he was the bravest Queen with the kindest of hearts and the most embracing of all embracing minds.
“Papa!! Papa, how could you? I’ll never forgive you. You stupid Yunho”
“My sweet Jaejoong, it didn’t fit. That’s why I gave it away.”
“It doesn’t matter! It was mine! I don’t want anyone to have it!!”
He put the big box with old frames aside and walked over to the teenager boy who spilled tears like a broken faucet. “Come here”
“NO!!! I hate you! Ahhhh. My hanbok!” Jaejoong stood from the couch fast and circled the living room, sniffing like a lost child in a supermarket.
But the tall man with the remorseful expression was stronger and taller and knew the boy’s reflexes better than the kid itself and with a relaxed grip pulled him to his lap in the first try. “Come here… Papa is sorry” He planted a gentle kiss on the boy’s lips. Jaejoong looked away. “What if papa buys you a new hanbok?”
His tearful eyes blinked a couple times, but the resentment wasn’t fully healed and he smashed his father’s chest with his fist, before he buried himself in the man’s warmth.
He fell asleep in his arms, a long day of moving boxes and cleaning and undusting and then the table knife his father dug in his heart when he told him he gave to charity the pretty handbook of his childhood days, Jaejoong was exhausted.
He woke up when he felt his body land on the bed and his father untie his hands from around him. Jaejoong cuddled with the pillow, but didn’t fully let his heavy eyelids dragged him back to dreaming and instead followed the man’s moves. The room lighting was dim and comfy to his eyes, only the light from the bathroom’s door open.
Yunho sat on the bed and rubbed his temples, fatigue written all over his face, but he quickly swept it off his back and continued with life and its daily responsibilities.
Typical him.
Yunho picked up the couple items that were scattered in the room, mostly because of Jaejoong’s laziness in picking them himself. He picked the boy’s highschool uniform, neatly folded it and put it in the laundry bin.
Perfectionist. Jaejoong couldn’t help to think as he observed the annoyingly careful moves of the other. There was no sloppiness in Jung Yunho’s life, except for his son perhaps.
Then Yunho removed his own dress shirt and socks and pants and neatly folded them as well. Jaejoong’s eyes weren’t so heavy anymore and he stared at his father in the bathroom as Yunho took his tank top and exposed his taut back to him. He removed his briefs and also put them away in the laundry bin.
Jaejoong rolled over to the other side, giggling to himself, his Papa was half hard. He wondered what was his father thinking, was he thinking of him? The young man must have laughed not that silently, because the next thing he recognized was the imposing shadow hovering over his fetus form on the bed and a fast grip that pulled him out of the covers.
“Papa” Jaejoong complained in the arms of the gorgeous naked man.
“Somebody needs a bath. Look behind your ears, Jaejoong. Is this the kind of hygiene papa taught you?” He pulled on the boy’s ears and soon enough smaller clothes flew to the laundry bin as little Jaejoong sunk into a steamy bathtub with his father.
Jaejoong squirmed from his papa’s grip as Yunho took a sponge and smeared bubblegum smelling soap on it and then on his chest, back, legs and butt.
“There you go. Slick and shinny kitten”
Struggling and complaining that his papa was not gentle, but an ogre who didn’t love him, Jaejoong took another sponge with loads of soap and jabbed it at Yunho’s sides. It had to be fun, because he was laughing and wrestling with his father and blowing bubbles at his face.
Yunho called his BooJae the cutest thing alive, rinsed the boy’s hair and then pushed him away
.
“You can play with your toys or go back to bed” He told Jaejoong as he leaned against the side of the tub, enjoying the tepid water on his tired body. Yunho put on his glasses and picked out a book. He threw the young man a squishy, little boat and submerged his body further in the water, with only his arms and half his face out of the surface.
“Papa” Jaejoong whined at the sudden lack of attention. But he put on his goggles and played shipwreck for a little while. Then he got bored. He stared at his father for a long, long time from his lonely corner, now surrounded by toys more fitted to a 9 years-old.
“Papa…”
“Hmmm”
Jaejoong sighed, Yunho seemed too focused on his book. He stared at the man’s body covered in foam, his toes peeked from under the surface. Artfully like a little shark, Jaejoong wiggled to Yunho with the suspenseful piano tune on the back of his head, he grabbed one of the man’s feet and bit it.
“BooJae” Yunho called him, as a warning, though he didn’t flinch or seemed bothered.
Jaejoong began to scrub the man’s foot, earnestly. “Papa you have the prettiest feet” He said.
”Hmmmm”
“I like it a lot when you wear flip flops Papa and your hair is loose on your face. You look like samurai” He placed a kiss on both feet.
“Sure baby”
“I get to see your big pretty feet”
“Hmmmm”
“You know what they say about big feet, Papa?”
At last Yunho looked beyond his book.
“Big in the shoes, big in the pants” Jaejoong’s hand crawled to the man’s crotch. “It’s true”
Yunho stared at his child who had his hand curled around his member and was looking at him through his ridiculous goggles.
I like music a lot. I play the piano and I sing. Papa says I’m little Liberace cause I can make lullabies sound like Strauss*. Papa praises me a lot. He says that I can be an artist because of my beautiful voice and because I sing with my heart in my hands and not many musicians make the audience feel like that. He also says that I would be very popular because I’m charming and I move well on the stage. I have no idea what stage he talks about. I only sing for him and for my cat Jiji on top of the coffee table that is in our living room.
I don’t really believe all of papa’s flatteries. Parents tell their children that kind of stuff all the time do they not? For example, last week they gave us our calculus results and I scored 82 and papa said that he was going to send to me to the NASA, in America because I was a genius child. I remembered that time in elementary school that I got very good results in all my exams so I was allowed to skip the last evaluations of the year as a reward. I was in 2nd grade and papa bragged all week that his son was smarter than Einstein. He told me that I would have kicked Einstein’s butt because Einstein was a little stupid when he was my age and he didn’t try. Then he started eating more veggies and got smarter. I know better now, but papa always makes a great deal about me about everything.
Papa says I can be anything I want if I set my mind to it. He says he wishes he was as talented as I am, but I know he’s lying. I’ve asked grandma and she says that papa had a perfect score all through high school and university. He also played various sports, which is something I am awful at. He got a scholarship with the baseball team. I think I have pictures of him with his uniform back then.
Doesn’t he look cool? His stare is so sharp. Papa was very smart and very athletic. I can’t even kick a ball without tripping, but Papa blames the kid who made the pass to me. He’s that kind. He doesn’t push me to do anything so I play the easiest game of all, badminton. Papa says I can make a fruitful career out of it, that I would make badminton huge in Korea and the world simply because I look like a doll with the white shorts, the polo shirt and the hairband around my head. A fortune with advertisement only because I’m too precious, he says, but then again he’s my father, he’s supposed to say that.
My friends tell me that I’m lucky because their dads don’t tell them how much they loved them every two minutes like Papa does.
They say that Yunho is not the typical Korean father. My friends’ parents nag them all the time and warn them things like:
It’s a scary world out there.
Life is hard.
You must take life seriously.
Don’t waste time. Time is money.
Go to a good university and become a computer engineer.
Papa has never told me anything like that. Papa says that I’m free and no one can tell me the path I’m pursuing is wrong, because it’s my own. He says that I should laugh and grow through life, not live burdened with concerns about the future or about making money. The future will come, but the present is the air I breathe and I should make the best of it. He says that what’s important is not the price, but the value of things. I’ll give him that since coming from a stoke broker, that’s quite the blasphemy. Papa says he educates me to be happy not rich or mundane. I know he does, he only cares for my happiness and to see me laugh.
“BooJae looks so eatable when he laughs” And he says it like that, when a crooked smile. Papa is a pervert. He says I’m eatable and sweet like udon. He’s not a complicated man and he loves udon. He loves me too, so I’m like udon. That’s the reasoning of a man with an IQ above 142.
Papa’s heart is made of love and patient, but I also know because I know him well that if somehow I happen to take a detour towards that terrible bad life, that he will beat me to a pulp. Then he will probably cry, because when it comes to me, he clings as much as I do to him.
I’m not sure what I want my life to become so last night when papa took me to dinner and we talked about school and about my senior year which is coming soon, I told him what I used to tell him when I was five years old. I told him that I wanted to marry him.
I guess cheesiness runs in the family.
I remember Junsu saying that he wanted to become a football player, Changmin first said that he’d be a scientist, then a movie director and today he just wants to run the porn industry, Yoochun said that he wanted to become an actor. Then when the teacher asked me what would I become, my answer was:
“I’ll be Papa’s wife and own a supermarket”
I guess my dream hasn’t changed. I would only need to dress as a woman and marry him in a place like Las Vegas to make it a reality because I already act like papa’s wife. I cook for him, I wait until he arrives from work and we eat together, I sleep with him, I clean the house. Sometimes I make him feel guilty about it, saying that I’m an exploited child who has to be the housewife because he doesn’t have a mother. His eyes become sad like a kicked puppy, but papa knows I don’t mean it. I will gladly cook his meals for the rest of my life. I don’t want a mother. There’s no room for a woman in our life, in this big house with so many bedrooms, there’s only room for Papa and me and Jiji.
There was one time when I was around 6 years old and when I came back from school, my kindergarten teacher was here. I recognized her purse because she had a cute key chain of an elephant. She had come to my house before and brought me sweets. I looked for the sweets in the kitchen, but I couldn’t find them. When I went into papa’s room, she was there and she was on top of him and she didn’t have a shirt on. She had nothing on. She was naked and Papa was too and she was kissing him. I don’t remember much after that. Papa says that I entered the room crying and as if was a black belt taekwondo, I jumped on the bed and pushed her away from him. Then I held to him and cried till I fell asleep.
Papa thought that I liked my teacher and that she’d be a good mommy to me. And I did like her - not anymore- but I didn’t want her kissing papa. I’m the only one for Yunho. That was the first and last time a woman came into our house, except for grandma who comes twice a year, because she lives far away. She has her family in Japan. She remarried after haraboji died and left papa raise me on his own. She said that Yunho was very brave because he wouldn’t leave my side and for the first three years he stayed home and took care of me. He wouldn’t hand me to any nanny who might hurt me.
I don’t know if Yunho meets women out of home. I try to believe him when he tells me he doesn’t, that I’m the only one in his life, but Papa is very young and handsome and I understand that there’s a line of women out there wanting to be fucked brainless by him. Even Yoochun’s mom blushes like a teenager when papa comes to pick me up and talks to her.
Yunho~ Yunho~ She calls him between laughter. Not even Yunho-ssi. I guess because papa is younger than her.
Papa is really good-looking. I already said that, didn’t I? Well he is. He could be on TV. I’ll show you a picture… or a load of them. I like to photograph him. Sometimes he does as I say and he poses for me and sometimes I catch him by surprise when he’s not aware.
I have other pictures of him when I slide my camera under the bathroom door and snap! Papa got used to it by now and he doesn’t even bother chasing me around the house anymore. I won’t show you those photos though. They’re only for me, like my own pot of gold that I won’t share with anyone, but I’ll let you know that papa could be a porn star if he wanted to.
He and I don’t look alike, you see? Papa says that I’m the exact replica of umma, taller umma with an ugly nose and short hair. Papa is an idiot and he hurts my feelings when he says I have an ugly nose, but then he bites me and kisses me all over. He’s joking because I’ve seen pictures of umma and we have the same nose. I really look like her. I like to upset him by saying that papa’s little soldiers are wishy-washy that couldn’t beat umma’s giant egg of genes so I look nothing like him but everything like mom. This is a photo of her and him during their senior year.
Mom was expecting me back then. They were 17. The one with the cap is uncle Donghae. He’s not my real uncle, just a very close friend of my dad’s ever since they were in middle-school.
Papa and mom secretly married in highschool. Mom was his first love and Papa was hers. Papa told me he was an impatient hormonal boy crazily in love so one weekend he took umma on a secret trip to Jeju and by the shore, with an improvised priest, they swore to love each other for eternity. Papa says that umma wore a sleeveless white dress and a veil made of daisies. After the ceremony and after slicing the peach cake that was their wedding cake, one steamy night or morning -papa can’t say- I was made.
When grandma found out about Yunho’s secret wedding, she was very happy and proud of him, but umma’s parents were very strict and they banned her from seeing Yunho again. She didn’t obey them and after highschool, they ran away together. Both made it to university, but since mom was pregnant she had to wait and then she died because of labor complications. Her heart was fragile. She was going to be a pediatrician. Papa was devastated. Grandma says that if not for me, Yunho would have died of a broken heart.
Papa confessed to me, when I kept insisting that I wanted to know every single one of his deep darkest secrets, that the night umma was in labor and the doctor told him she was in bad condition, he told the doctor to save mom instead of me. They could have more babies, but he could not lose my mom. However, umma wanted me. At the end, her heart stopped beating just after I popped out of her body.
I was fourteen when papa told me that secret and his eyes were glassy and I thought he was going to cry. He crushed me in his arms because he was very sorry. I did cry and I told him that I didn’t love him anymore and that I hated him because he preferred mom than me. He showered me with kisses. He told me I am the only one. Forever. I’m his treasure. Papa will die without me, but it’s all right because I’ll die without Papa too.
“Where is my beautiful Jaejoong?”
That’s him. Let me introduce him to you. You already know him, but anyway. You love to see papa don’t you? Because he’s ikemen.
“Papa! Say hello!”
“Baby what are you doing? Papa doesn’t want to be filmed”
“Papa you look hot with your tie undone. Say hello!”
“Aigoo, hello. This is Jung Yunho. Nice to meet you.” He bowed to my camera.
“Papa does everything I told him to do” Jaejoong giggled to the camera, before noticing the warning in Yunho’s eyes. “Oh, look at him. He’s angry now. Look how handsome he looks when he frowns. Told you he was handsome. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
“Are you doing another reality?” Yunho asked him as he went around the living room picking up Jaejoong’s dirty clothes and badminton uniform.
“This one is called: Dear Papa and it’s about how much I dislike you”
“You don’t dislike me. You love me”
“I’m telling my viewers how annoying you are, how bad you snore at night and that your breath is stinky in the morning and that you’re the cheesiest man alive and you kick me in bed”
He smiled to his father wide and did the lovely stare to him, blinking his large eyes at him. Jaejoong dropped the camera in the couch and ran away as he saw Yunho walk towards him. The tall man took the young man by the waist and carried him on his back like a sack of potatoes. He sat on the sofa with Jaejoong snuggled in his lap. He placed him on his stomach ad undressed him from the waist down. Then he spanked his butt.
“Papa. Idiot. That hurt” Jaejoong rubbed his butt which did not really hurt, but… “My butt is very pretty to have your big hand imprints on it”
Yunho laughed and then rubbed the cute butt. “Papa missed you very much, my sweet child”
Jaejoong turned around and clung to the man’s neck. “I missed papa a lot too” He was naked in front of his father’s eyes, but that was all right for them. “Give me a kiss”
Yunho shook his head and immediately the boy’s eyes turned into fire. The older man laughed and bit the irresistible milky skin of Jaejoong’s neck.
“Yunho” He complained, with a whiny voice because that’s how Jaejoong responds to Yunho’s denial and when he is frustrated. That’s why his father calls him child and baby still.
Jaejoong knows he’s very spoiled and childish, but his defense is that he’s only 16 years old. Not 20. He’s a child and a baby, still. Then his father feeds such behavior by telling him that even if he was 30, he’ll be able to pull it off because he’s too cute.
“Yunho give your child a kiss. Don’t be a bad father!”
“Of course I will kiss you my naughty kitten” He put an accusatory finger on his son’s nose and poked the tip of his nose. To the boy’s adorable pouts, he pushed him against the sofa and planted a kiss on his lips, then another one and another one. Jaejoong wrapped his arms and legs around his father’s body like a spider as the man kissed him. Yunho calls him that sometimes, his little spider. And his koala bear when Jaejoong clings to his back and his baby kangaroo when he clings to his front.
I don’t know any kids who kiss his dad like I do and enjoy it as much as I do, but I don’t care. Papa and I are different. Papa and I love each other very much.
TBC
________________________________________________________________________________________________
* A while ago I finally watched Behind the Candelabra and can't get over it. Won't for a while. To my lovely readers, I recommend it very much. It's about Liberace and his lover Scott. It's good!.
The handsome lad in 2D is Sanada Ryu... from Kimi ni Todoke. I was finally able to put him somewhere. I always thought he looked a lot like Yun. Not the live action version. I was a little dissapointed by that Ryu.
Also Jiji is fat in this story.
((((Go here and let's support Junsu please)))))
Pairings: YunJae
Length: 8 parts + epilogue
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I was inspired by "Papa to Kiss in the Dark'. If you're familiar with the OVAs and have your reservations about the main theme there, even if it's YJ I would suggest that you don't read this. The story doesn't have any inhibitions about it. If you do like, hope you enjoy :)
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff,
Summary: Everyone is blessed with one special thing. For Jung Jaejoong, it was his father and he needed no more. His father who was his world and he loved deeply, taut filial ties had no favoritism over right and wrong.
Most kids who are insecure, they do not realize that’s because of their parents. Should have them paying insurance for their lack of confidence in making decisions, embracing challenges and overall dealing with life. What a profitable business that would be, to have their parents settle an invoice by direct debit or credit card every time they messed up during a public speech or every time someone rejected their invitation for a date, every time someone bullied them and humiliate them in front of a large, mean crowd of hormonal, pathetic little beings.
Papa you did a terrible job raising me and now I’m an inept dealing with open spaces, people, school life, work, love, expectation. I've become an outcast. I have anxiety attacks, stammering issues and gastritis, please deposit to my account within the next week or I’ll kill myself.
Jung Jaejoong could foresee his ascend to billionaire land with a marketing like that. However, that would be hypocritical if we talk about him. Jung Jaejoong was different, very different indeed. One of those rare cases not so easy to spot and that when spotted, excused and hidden. His family consisted of his father and a fat Russian blue cat, named Jung JiJi. Jaejoong didn’t have any siblings and he didn’t have a mother. His mother died when he was only 5 seconds old. Enough time to say hello and good luck, the little insensitive bastard would joke.
The cat was his little brother, though in cat years Jiji was older than Jaejoong and from a human perspective, he was more dependable. His father thought so as well and Jaejoong did not argue he might be right.
Among Jaejoong’s proud possessions, asides from his dad, his cat, his hair, his face and his camera with which he took naked pictures of his dad, there was his music room, which came with the big house his father bought a couple years ago. They used to live in a smaller place which was cozy and inviting for the two of them and the overweight cat. However, his father decided to invest in real states since the prices were more affordable during the country’s crisis in 2008. Now they had a house as big as a manor and a little farm in Busan.
His father was a stockbroker, ridiculously gorgeous man to be sitting in an office all day, but perfectly suited for the manliness of the job, the suit, the yells and for ordering people around. Jung Yunho was very good at what he did and he knew the market like the palm of his hand. Recession is the perfect time to buy, he’d tell his child.
There was a story that remained in the back of little Jaejoong’s head and would always make him grin wide when the economy collapsed like an airplane without wings. It was the story about a bunch of people in depth and one salary man who wanted to spend the night at their village. He went to their little hostel and gave the receptionist the money for one night and while the salary man looked around the place to check if he liked it enough to stay, with the man’s money the receptionist paid her depth to the bellboy who paid his depth to the chef who paid his depth to the tailor who paid his depth to another person and that of another person and at the end, the same old bill returned to the receptionist from someone who owed her as well. The salary man decided he did not want to stay, took his money back, and left, but everybody was free of depth.
Little Jaejoong did not remember the story as well as his father once told him, with more characters and more transactions, but the message was the same: in times of recession when everybody keeps their safe untouched, the Jungs buy. His father told him that lack of money was not a problem, there was more than enough money in the world. The problem was when money didn’t move. Money could not stay in one’s hands.
Jung Jaejoong understands now at the blossoming age of 16 years old that life and money are much more complex than that and many other fairy tale dotted stories his father told him. However, for making him believe it was that easy and pretty, Jaejoong loved his father very much. His father, who made everything seem so reachable to his hands ever since he was a futile child with stinky pants and mud all over his face, was the one to blame for Jaejoong still felt like the little boy who put on his red gown and played he was Joseon's first Queen and papa his King. And he was the bravest Queen with the kindest of hearts and the most embracing of all embracing minds.
“Papa!! Papa, how could you? I’ll never forgive you. You stupid Yunho”
“My sweet Jaejoong, it didn’t fit. That’s why I gave it away.”
“It doesn’t matter! It was mine! I don’t want anyone to have it!!”
He put the big box with old frames aside and walked over to the teenager boy who spilled tears like a broken faucet. “Come here”
“NO!!! I hate you! Ahhhh. My hanbok!” Jaejoong stood from the couch fast and circled the living room, sniffing like a lost child in a supermarket.
But the tall man with the remorseful expression was stronger and taller and knew the boy’s reflexes better than the kid itself and with a relaxed grip pulled him to his lap in the first try. “Come here… Papa is sorry” He planted a gentle kiss on the boy’s lips. Jaejoong looked away. “What if papa buys you a new hanbok?”
His tearful eyes blinked a couple times, but the resentment wasn’t fully healed and he smashed his father’s chest with his fist, before he buried himself in the man’s warmth.
He fell asleep in his arms, a long day of moving boxes and cleaning and undusting and then the table knife his father dug in his heart when he told him he gave to charity the pretty handbook of his childhood days, Jaejoong was exhausted.
He woke up when he felt his body land on the bed and his father untie his hands from around him. Jaejoong cuddled with the pillow, but didn’t fully let his heavy eyelids dragged him back to dreaming and instead followed the man’s moves. The room lighting was dim and comfy to his eyes, only the light from the bathroom’s door open.
Yunho sat on the bed and rubbed his temples, fatigue written all over his face, but he quickly swept it off his back and continued with life and its daily responsibilities.
Typical him.
Yunho picked up the couple items that were scattered in the room, mostly because of Jaejoong’s laziness in picking them himself. He picked the boy’s highschool uniform, neatly folded it and put it in the laundry bin.
Perfectionist. Jaejoong couldn’t help to think as he observed the annoyingly careful moves of the other. There was no sloppiness in Jung Yunho’s life, except for his son perhaps.
Then Yunho removed his own dress shirt and socks and pants and neatly folded them as well. Jaejoong’s eyes weren’t so heavy anymore and he stared at his father in the bathroom as Yunho took his tank top and exposed his taut back to him. He removed his briefs and also put them away in the laundry bin.
Jaejoong rolled over to the other side, giggling to himself, his Papa was half hard. He wondered what was his father thinking, was he thinking of him? The young man must have laughed not that silently, because the next thing he recognized was the imposing shadow hovering over his fetus form on the bed and a fast grip that pulled him out of the covers.
“Papa” Jaejoong complained in the arms of the gorgeous naked man.
“Somebody needs a bath. Look behind your ears, Jaejoong. Is this the kind of hygiene papa taught you?” He pulled on the boy’s ears and soon enough smaller clothes flew to the laundry bin as little Jaejoong sunk into a steamy bathtub with his father.
Jaejoong squirmed from his papa’s grip as Yunho took a sponge and smeared bubblegum smelling soap on it and then on his chest, back, legs and butt.
“There you go. Slick and shinny kitten”
Struggling and complaining that his papa was not gentle, but an ogre who didn’t love him, Jaejoong took another sponge with loads of soap and jabbed it at Yunho’s sides. It had to be fun, because he was laughing and wrestling with his father and blowing bubbles at his face.
Yunho called his BooJae the cutest thing alive, rinsed the boy’s hair and then pushed him away
.
“You can play with your toys or go back to bed” He told Jaejoong as he leaned against the side of the tub, enjoying the tepid water on his tired body. Yunho put on his glasses and picked out a book. He threw the young man a squishy, little boat and submerged his body further in the water, with only his arms and half his face out of the surface.
“Papa” Jaejoong whined at the sudden lack of attention. But he put on his goggles and played shipwreck for a little while. Then he got bored. He stared at his father for a long, long time from his lonely corner, now surrounded by toys more fitted to a 9 years-old.
“Papa…”
“Hmmm”
Jaejoong sighed, Yunho seemed too focused on his book. He stared at the man’s body covered in foam, his toes peeked from under the surface. Artfully like a little shark, Jaejoong wiggled to Yunho with the suspenseful piano tune on the back of his head, he grabbed one of the man’s feet and bit it.
“BooJae” Yunho called him, as a warning, though he didn’t flinch or seemed bothered.
Jaejoong began to scrub the man’s foot, earnestly. “Papa you have the prettiest feet” He said.
”Hmmmm”
“I like it a lot when you wear flip flops Papa and your hair is loose on your face. You look like samurai” He placed a kiss on both feet.
“Sure baby”
“I get to see your big pretty feet”
“Hmmmm”
“You know what they say about big feet, Papa?”
At last Yunho looked beyond his book.
“Big in the shoes, big in the pants” Jaejoong’s hand crawled to the man’s crotch. “It’s true”
Yunho stared at his child who had his hand curled around his member and was looking at him through his ridiculous goggles.
I like music a lot. I play the piano and I sing. Papa says I’m little Liberace cause I can make lullabies sound like Strauss*. Papa praises me a lot. He says that I can be an artist because of my beautiful voice and because I sing with my heart in my hands and not many musicians make the audience feel like that. He also says that I would be very popular because I’m charming and I move well on the stage. I have no idea what stage he talks about. I only sing for him and for my cat Jiji on top of the coffee table that is in our living room.
I don’t really believe all of papa’s flatteries. Parents tell their children that kind of stuff all the time do they not? For example, last week they gave us our calculus results and I scored 82 and papa said that he was going to send to me to the NASA, in America because I was a genius child. I remembered that time in elementary school that I got very good results in all my exams so I was allowed to skip the last evaluations of the year as a reward. I was in 2nd grade and papa bragged all week that his son was smarter than Einstein. He told me that I would have kicked Einstein’s butt because Einstein was a little stupid when he was my age and he didn’t try. Then he started eating more veggies and got smarter. I know better now, but papa always makes a great deal about me about everything.
Papa says I can be anything I want if I set my mind to it. He says he wishes he was as talented as I am, but I know he’s lying. I’ve asked grandma and she says that papa had a perfect score all through high school and university. He also played various sports, which is something I am awful at. He got a scholarship with the baseball team. I think I have pictures of him with his uniform back then.
Doesn’t he look cool? His stare is so sharp. Papa was very smart and very athletic. I can’t even kick a ball without tripping, but Papa blames the kid who made the pass to me. He’s that kind. He doesn’t push me to do anything so I play the easiest game of all, badminton. Papa says I can make a fruitful career out of it, that I would make badminton huge in Korea and the world simply because I look like a doll with the white shorts, the polo shirt and the hairband around my head. A fortune with advertisement only because I’m too precious, he says, but then again he’s my father, he’s supposed to say that.
My friends tell me that I’m lucky because their dads don’t tell them how much they loved them every two minutes like Papa does.
They say that Yunho is not the typical Korean father. My friends’ parents nag them all the time and warn them things like:
It’s a scary world out there.
Life is hard.
You must take life seriously.
Don’t waste time. Time is money.
Go to a good university and become a computer engineer.
Papa has never told me anything like that. Papa says that I’m free and no one can tell me the path I’m pursuing is wrong, because it’s my own. He says that I should laugh and grow through life, not live burdened with concerns about the future or about making money. The future will come, but the present is the air I breathe and I should make the best of it. He says that what’s important is not the price, but the value of things. I’ll give him that since coming from a stoke broker, that’s quite the blasphemy. Papa says he educates me to be happy not rich or mundane. I know he does, he only cares for my happiness and to see me laugh.
“BooJae looks so eatable when he laughs” And he says it like that, when a crooked smile. Papa is a pervert. He says I’m eatable and sweet like udon. He’s not a complicated man and he loves udon. He loves me too, so I’m like udon. That’s the reasoning of a man with an IQ above 142.
Papa’s heart is made of love and patient, but I also know because I know him well that if somehow I happen to take a detour towards that terrible bad life, that he will beat me to a pulp. Then he will probably cry, because when it comes to me, he clings as much as I do to him.
I’m not sure what I want my life to become so last night when papa took me to dinner and we talked about school and about my senior year which is coming soon, I told him what I used to tell him when I was five years old. I told him that I wanted to marry him.
I guess cheesiness runs in the family.
I remember Junsu saying that he wanted to become a football player, Changmin first said that he’d be a scientist, then a movie director and today he just wants to run the porn industry, Yoochun said that he wanted to become an actor. Then when the teacher asked me what would I become, my answer was:
“I’ll be Papa’s wife and own a supermarket”
I guess my dream hasn’t changed. I would only need to dress as a woman and marry him in a place like Las Vegas to make it a reality because I already act like papa’s wife. I cook for him, I wait until he arrives from work and we eat together, I sleep with him, I clean the house. Sometimes I make him feel guilty about it, saying that I’m an exploited child who has to be the housewife because he doesn’t have a mother. His eyes become sad like a kicked puppy, but papa knows I don’t mean it. I will gladly cook his meals for the rest of my life. I don’t want a mother. There’s no room for a woman in our life, in this big house with so many bedrooms, there’s only room for Papa and me and Jiji.
There was one time when I was around 6 years old and when I came back from school, my kindergarten teacher was here. I recognized her purse because she had a cute key chain of an elephant. She had come to my house before and brought me sweets. I looked for the sweets in the kitchen, but I couldn’t find them. When I went into papa’s room, she was there and she was on top of him and she didn’t have a shirt on. She had nothing on. She was naked and Papa was too and she was kissing him. I don’t remember much after that. Papa says that I entered the room crying and as if was a black belt taekwondo, I jumped on the bed and pushed her away from him. Then I held to him and cried till I fell asleep.
Papa thought that I liked my teacher and that she’d be a good mommy to me. And I did like her - not anymore- but I didn’t want her kissing papa. I’m the only one for Yunho. That was the first and last time a woman came into our house, except for grandma who comes twice a year, because she lives far away. She has her family in Japan. She remarried after haraboji died and left papa raise me on his own. She said that Yunho was very brave because he wouldn’t leave my side and for the first three years he stayed home and took care of me. He wouldn’t hand me to any nanny who might hurt me.
I don’t know if Yunho meets women out of home. I try to believe him when he tells me he doesn’t, that I’m the only one in his life, but Papa is very young and handsome and I understand that there’s a line of women out there wanting to be fucked brainless by him. Even Yoochun’s mom blushes like a teenager when papa comes to pick me up and talks to her.
Yunho~ Yunho~ She calls him between laughter. Not even Yunho-ssi. I guess because papa is younger than her.
Papa is really good-looking. I already said that, didn’t I? Well he is. He could be on TV. I’ll show you a picture… or a load of them. I like to photograph him. Sometimes he does as I say and he poses for me and sometimes I catch him by surprise when he’s not aware.
I have other pictures of him when I slide my camera under the bathroom door and snap! Papa got used to it by now and he doesn’t even bother chasing me around the house anymore. I won’t show you those photos though. They’re only for me, like my own pot of gold that I won’t share with anyone, but I’ll let you know that papa could be a porn star if he wanted to.
He and I don’t look alike, you see? Papa says that I’m the exact replica of umma, taller umma with an ugly nose and short hair. Papa is an idiot and he hurts my feelings when he says I have an ugly nose, but then he bites me and kisses me all over. He’s joking because I’ve seen pictures of umma and we have the same nose. I really look like her. I like to upset him by saying that papa’s little soldiers are wishy-washy that couldn’t beat umma’s giant egg of genes so I look nothing like him but everything like mom. This is a photo of her and him during their senior year.
Mom was expecting me back then. They were 17. The one with the cap is uncle Donghae. He’s not my real uncle, just a very close friend of my dad’s ever since they were in middle-school.
Papa and mom secretly married in highschool. Mom was his first love and Papa was hers. Papa told me he was an impatient hormonal boy crazily in love so one weekend he took umma on a secret trip to Jeju and by the shore, with an improvised priest, they swore to love each other for eternity. Papa says that umma wore a sleeveless white dress and a veil made of daisies. After the ceremony and after slicing the peach cake that was their wedding cake, one steamy night or morning -papa can’t say- I was made.
When grandma found out about Yunho’s secret wedding, she was very happy and proud of him, but umma’s parents were very strict and they banned her from seeing Yunho again. She didn’t obey them and after highschool, they ran away together. Both made it to university, but since mom was pregnant she had to wait and then she died because of labor complications. Her heart was fragile. She was going to be a pediatrician. Papa was devastated. Grandma says that if not for me, Yunho would have died of a broken heart.
Papa confessed to me, when I kept insisting that I wanted to know every single one of his deep darkest secrets, that the night umma was in labor and the doctor told him she was in bad condition, he told the doctor to save mom instead of me. They could have more babies, but he could not lose my mom. However, umma wanted me. At the end, her heart stopped beating just after I popped out of her body.
I was fourteen when papa told me that secret and his eyes were glassy and I thought he was going to cry. He crushed me in his arms because he was very sorry. I did cry and I told him that I didn’t love him anymore and that I hated him because he preferred mom than me. He showered me with kisses. He told me I am the only one. Forever. I’m his treasure. Papa will die without me, but it’s all right because I’ll die without Papa too.
“Where is my beautiful Jaejoong?”
That’s him. Let me introduce him to you. You already know him, but anyway. You love to see papa don’t you? Because he’s ikemen.
“Papa! Say hello!”
“Baby what are you doing? Papa doesn’t want to be filmed”
“Papa you look hot with your tie undone. Say hello!”
“Aigoo, hello. This is Jung Yunho. Nice to meet you.” He bowed to my camera.
“Papa does everything I told him to do” Jaejoong giggled to the camera, before noticing the warning in Yunho’s eyes. “Oh, look at him. He’s angry now. Look how handsome he looks when he frowns. Told you he was handsome. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
“Are you doing another reality?” Yunho asked him as he went around the living room picking up Jaejoong’s dirty clothes and badminton uniform.
“This one is called: Dear Papa and it’s about how much I dislike you”
“You don’t dislike me. You love me”
“I’m telling my viewers how annoying you are, how bad you snore at night and that your breath is stinky in the morning and that you’re the cheesiest man alive and you kick me in bed”
He smiled to his father wide and did the lovely stare to him, blinking his large eyes at him. Jaejoong dropped the camera in the couch and ran away as he saw Yunho walk towards him. The tall man took the young man by the waist and carried him on his back like a sack of potatoes. He sat on the sofa with Jaejoong snuggled in his lap. He placed him on his stomach ad undressed him from the waist down. Then he spanked his butt.
“Papa. Idiot. That hurt” Jaejoong rubbed his butt which did not really hurt, but… “My butt is very pretty to have your big hand imprints on it”
Yunho laughed and then rubbed the cute butt. “Papa missed you very much, my sweet child”
Jaejoong turned around and clung to the man’s neck. “I missed papa a lot too” He was naked in front of his father’s eyes, but that was all right for them. “Give me a kiss”
Yunho shook his head and immediately the boy’s eyes turned into fire. The older man laughed and bit the irresistible milky skin of Jaejoong’s neck.
“Yunho” He complained, with a whiny voice because that’s how Jaejoong responds to Yunho’s denial and when he is frustrated. That’s why his father calls him child and baby still.
Jaejoong knows he’s very spoiled and childish, but his defense is that he’s only 16 years old. Not 20. He’s a child and a baby, still. Then his father feeds such behavior by telling him that even if he was 30, he’ll be able to pull it off because he’s too cute.
“Yunho give your child a kiss. Don’t be a bad father!”
“Of course I will kiss you my naughty kitten” He put an accusatory finger on his son’s nose and poked the tip of his nose. To the boy’s adorable pouts, he pushed him against the sofa and planted a kiss on his lips, then another one and another one. Jaejoong wrapped his arms and legs around his father’s body like a spider as the man kissed him. Yunho calls him that sometimes, his little spider. And his koala bear when Jaejoong clings to his back and his baby kangaroo when he clings to his front.
I don’t know any kids who kiss his dad like I do and enjoy it as much as I do, but I don’t care. Papa and I are different. Papa and I love each other very much.
TBC
________________________________________________________________________________________________
* A while ago I finally watched Behind the Candelabra and can't get over it. Won't for a while. To my lovely readers, I recommend it very much. It's about Liberace and his lover Scott. It's good!.
The handsome lad in 2D is Sanada Ryu... from Kimi ni Todoke. I was finally able to put him somewhere. I always thought he looked a lot like Yun. Not the live action version. I was a little dissapointed by that Ryu.
Also Jiji is fat in this story.
((((Go here and let's support Junsu please)))))