Spiders in my sleep -Part 3-
Title: Spiders in my sleep
Pairings: YunJae
Length: 3/8
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I was inspired by "Papa to Kiss in the Dark'. If you're familiar with the OVAs and have your reservations about the main theme there, even if it's YJ I would suggest that you don't read this. The story doesn't have any inhibitions about it. If you do like, hope you enjoy :)
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff,
Summary: Everyone is blessed with one special thing. For Jung Jaejoong, it was his father and he needed no more. His father who was his world and he loved deeply, taut filial ties had no favoritism over right and wrong
The young man could not believe the bittersweet taste of success. His father might have been too lenient preparing him for that confusion and mix of emotions when his wishes were fulfilled and yet he was wishing for more.
The results of his university entrance exams were crushed in his right hand while he cried silently and muttered curses, his face pressed against the cushions. He had amazing news to give to his father, he was highly regarded to attend his first choice university, however those tears on Jaejoong’s face weren’t from joy. Life seemed to be generous to him, his hard work paid off abundantly and immediately; and he could proceed with his days accordingly to the wonderful Plan A, no need for Plan B… and yet.
I won’t go. Selfish bastard. … got tired of me? … take a lot into consideration… a decision like this. Aren’t we a couple? He doesn’t see … lover. just fucks me… lonely…. what is he … all by himself here? … bring women?... won’t forgive him….I hate him… much
“Who do you hate so much, hmm?”
I wiped my eyes roughly and stared at him. Yunho ran his hands on my hair and on my cheeks. He always does that, with so much love.
“We should get you a new haircut soon, for college, don’t you think?”
I looked away, bit my lip in anger. I wanted to move away from his touch, but he’s my dad. I can’t do that. I respect him and I love him. But this much fury inside me, it’s going to burst. I gripped my hands tighter and he looked at the letter I was trying to pulverize. He must have noticed the detail of the paper that his eyes widened slightly. He knew it was the letter from Japan. Yes, my future in my hands and since I was crushing it, it was expected he’d assume it didn’t go as planned. But he didn’t ask. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
“Let’s eat, beautiful. Papa made you your favorite”
I know he doesn’t care about the results. Whether I made it or not, he won’t nag me or blame me. He’s not disappointed. He only cares how I feel. And he knows there’s nothing I want more than to study music in Japan. I’ve been talking about it for over a year. But we never discussed that I’d be going on my own. He didn’t tell me that he wasn’t going with me which means that we have to live more than a thousand kilometers away from each other. I have never been away from him. Never.
He offered me his hand. “Ddeokbokki, thick sauce. Extra spicy. Just like you like it”
I stared at him. My eyes are like daggers tearing his skin apart and yet he’s looking me with so much warmth. I took his hand and pulled him towards me. As his body landed on top of mine, I hugged him tight and I planted a soft kiss on the side of his neck. I hate him, yet I love him with everything I have.
He accommodated me against the couch and I curled like a sushi roll with him. I just want to hold him and feel him close. I don’t understand why he’s doing this to me. I’m not a misbehaved child, I do the housework diligently. I don’t argue with him, I do well in school, I’m a great cook and I’m great in bed too. I can do it like an adult. I’m fun! Why does he want me away then?
“Did you have a good day?” He kissed my temple.
I won’t cry. I grabbed his shirt and buried myself in his chest. He had an apron and still there was a piece of egg in his white dress shirt. That’s my father. He’s perfect.
“Talk to papa, Joongie”
I shook my head. I don’t want to. I’m a mess . It frustrates me that I have to pick between him and music school when I shouldn’t. I want to cry. I undid his shirt and started sucking on his right nipple, softly, like a newborn with his mother. It calms me.
“I love you, Jaejoongie. I love you so much that my chest is going to explode because of you”
We wouldn’t have to separate if that was true. I crave this experience so much, because I imagined it with him. Now I’m just insecure and hesitant.
I was having my own internal quarrel because I wanted to confront him, but I was also very frightened to know what his reasons were. What if there was really someone else behind this? Did he find someone he likes at work, did he have a random, destiny-like meeting in the middle of the street with the woman of his dreams?
I felt very possessive of him and I bit him. He squirmed. I feel so helpless, I want all of him for me. I’m selfish and I don’t care. I won’t share Yunho with anyone. I bit him again. I became very aware then of the tiny wrinkles in his nipple, how much I made his cute nub protrude, how good it felt against my tongue. I lapped at his skin stubbornly and then bit him once more. Papa squirmed again and I went to his other nipple.
“Who is this naughty boy licking me?”
I couldn’t help to frown. Who would it be, but me? Stupid Yunho.
My hand undid his belt and sneaked inside his trousers and briefs while I was still kissing him and biting him for I was angry. I heard him chuckle when I touched my beautiful treasure with care. It’s not his member, it’s been mine for a long time. And it feels so good against my hand. No one can have it, no one can taste it, no one but me.
Papa wasn’t aroused yet, so I just touched him patiently, like if I wanted to draw a picture. I even love the feel of his pubic hair. He kissed my head and combed my hair while I did that. I leapt towards his lips and stole a needy kiss from him. I don’t think papa realizes how much I love him, how badly I need him.
I pulled his pants down and threw them away. I noticed his frown when they messily landed on the side of the coffee table. He’s so picky with untidiness. I smiled at him, not just from with my lips but from my heart. Everybody has little manias that sometimes seem unbearable and tiring, and yet when there’s that deep love, they also become endearing. I used to hate that papa was such a neat freak, but that’s how he is and I love absolutely everything about him. I could foresee my chaotic apartment without him around. I felt a stab in my chest, I don’t want to live without him.
I yanked his briefs away and I got in between his legs. He was finally naked from the waist down. The picture of him like that was mouthwatering and my breathing hastened. He still had his shirt and his apron, his socks, but his pants were gone and his member was there for me. I felt a mix of lust and love and fury watching him like that. I’d be despairing if someone else has papa like this.
I dug in. I kissed his inner thighs softly, just with the right amount of love I have for him in the middle of my qualms and frustration, and let his pubic hair brush my chin and cheeks. I licked the tip. I like to take my time and give him lots of kisses, see his member throb and leak. I like to explore him, like my own living doll. It’s not just sexual desire, I don’t know how to put it. I guess sex is not fulfilling for the senses only, it is in my heart twice as much. I guess it reminds me of my childhood, being held in his big arms. It is of the sweetest moments I have with him. But today is different. I do feel hunger overcome everything else. Lust. A lot of it. And I sucked him fully, with passion and fury, couldn’t stand the teasing any longer. His eyes were on me while I went up and down on his groin. But they were bright and warm and gave my heart so much reassurance.
“You want papa’s milk?”
I nodded my head and I reached to touch myself. My pants feel so tight. To give him pleasure, to see the pleasure on his face because of me, I don’t know anything that can make me as aroused and contented.
Papa, I love you.
“Sweetie, papa is about to…” He always warns me as if I would ever pull away. I love the taste of it. This is my milk I grew up with. Yunho used to take his member from my mouth before, but he can’t do that anymore. He knows I’ll go bonkers.
Soon, I felt the warm thick liquid hit the back of my throat and I groaned in pleasure, just like papa did. I swallowed it all and he said I was a good boy. He opened his arms and I didn’t hesitate to jump into his embrace. I hugged him tight as if I could melt my heart with his. He doesn’t understand how fraught of love I am towards him. I used to think he said the cheesiest words to me, he still does, but I understand their meaning now. He is the reason I live for too. He is the only one in my eyes.
Papa reached for the candy bowl that was in the middle of the coffee table. We used to have for Halloween only, but because of Changmin papa left it there permanently.
“You’ve become an expert at this, Jaejoongie. Whom have you been practicing with?”
“Just papa. Only papa” I smiled proudly.
“Papa wouldn’t mind if you have a boyfriend, sweetie”
And so I sat up, open mouthed in shock, I dropped the candy in my lips carelessly. Abruptly, the desire in the pit of my stomach and the anxiety that was nibbling my heart were washed away with dangerous dread.
Papa should never tell me that it’s all right for me to love someone else.
Papa took me to the hospital when I passed out. I haven’t been in a hospital since I have memory. Papa had always taken good care of me and I was a very healthy boy I guess, but that was the first time I ever fainted and he was fretting like he had found me gun-shot in the middle of the street.
The people in the hospital were very accessible. They did a complete check up on me. Apparently, the diagnosis was stress and a little dehydration. But it did cross papa’s mind that Yihan could be carrying some disease, so he made me stay in the hospital for the night to test me for absolutely everything.
Papa didn’t leave my side for the whole day and also didn’t around 5 nurses who were all over him. Even my doctor was blushing. She was young and pretty and she had to be a smart girl since she was already a physician. The male nurse on the floor was the only person I could talk to without getting annoyed because of the attention to my dad. He took care of me truthfully, not just to look good in front of Yunho. The rest of the nurses seemed too conscious of papa’s presence in the room and were excessively nice with me. I don’t blame them, papa has that effect on people. I shouldn’t complain since it’s beneficial to me. When I was little and I couldn’t understand much why they gave me presents and sweets I loved these fake people very much, but now that I understand I dislike them solely for their behavior.
Papa also knows. He looks at me and gives me that apologetic smile.
I hate you. I mouthed to him. I know. He mouthed back.
How could I hate him? I’m rabidly in love with him. I really want these women to go away so we can cuddle in the bed.
Papa says the same thing about me, that people, male and female, swarm around me like bees to honey. And that he gets very jealous and upset when we have to part ways. But I don’t care about others, doesn’t he know?
My eyes are on him, I’m always looking at him. Sadly in his periphery, there are those many who flirt with him. Like the nurses from my bedroom floor, then the middle-age pharmacist where he picked up my medicine, then the paramedic woman that was moving a stretcher just in front of our car and locked eyes with him. Then the waitress where he took me for lunch who giggled to herself when papa asked her opinion.
He wasn’t asking you for a date, woman! He was consulting the menu.
It’s also Yunho’s fault, since he’s very kind. While we're waiting for our food, he saw a woman sitting alone and he asked her to join us. He wasn’t doing it because he liked her. It was courtesy, too much of it. But he says that eating alone is bad for the stomach and the heart. The woman agreed and there I was half- eating, half-barfing as she tried her best to impress papa.
When we came back home, I had just placed my bag on the floor when papa hugged me from behind like he hadn’t seen me in years. It was that tight hug and it lasted that long. He told me that he missed me which I couldn’t understand since he was with me the whole time. I guess he means this, being together just the two of us. I was surrounded by a lot of people at the hospital and he couldn’t stay with me at night. He then told me that I wasn’t allowed to get sick, that he’ll have a heart attack if anything happened to me.
I would have nagged him that it had been his fault to start with, but I didn’t care. I was too happy in his arms to interrupt our moment. I guess I missed him too. I missed him so much.
Then he spanked my butt and shooed me away. He told me not to bother him because he had a lot of work to catch up and he closed the door in my nose. What a fraud. I still had the stupidest smile when I realized I was looking at the mahogany door shut at me. He sucks.
I decided to ring Changmin since I had missed two days at school and might need his absurd notes. He’s too smart to take notes, he says. The whole gang came with him and I spent the afternoon with my friends.
My friends love Yunho as well. They look at him like this wonderful hyung rather than my dad. Junsu loves him because
papa is another crazy soccer fan and he never misses any of Junsu’s matches. We go together, then I’m dumped and forgotten when papa and Junsu shoot balls after the game. Yunho is the goalkeeper and he says that Junsu has a very powerful kick. Then Changmin loves papa because he feeds him everything his mother doesn’t when he comes here. He clings to papa’s leg for food worst than I did when I was a child. Changmin has no pride. Then Yoochun asks papa for advice. He respects him because he can be strict and stern while a very loving and goofy parent.
I think I’m jealous of Chun the most. I can no longer go to papa for advice since I don’t know how to explain my feelings. I know that he was joking about us having sex. And I’m not as relieved about it as I thought I’d be. I never wanted to tell Yunho about my dreams because I didn’t want him to explain to me about our relationship which is of filial love and which can’t go to such extends as sex. I already know that. I don’t need him to tell me that we can’t be together like that. I don’t want to hear those words coming from his mouth. I think deep inside I’m scared of how heartbroken I’d be. I can’t be held accountable for what I dream, my mind just wanders those perverted territories every time I closed my eyes. However when I wake up in the morning or when I go through my dreams, even if for a second or two and even if I feel guiltier about it than the dream itself, there’s a smile in my face. It’s a real smile, almost a grin, very close to show my teeth.
I don’t understand myself. There’s a serious malfunction with my conscience. I was freaking out when I confessed to papa, but I was so happy that he didn’t look upset. He wasn’t alarmed or serious about it. He said he was going to cover me in chocolate and eat me up. I was worried about that and yet … excited and giddy. But I know him, he’s full of crap. He didn’t mean it. He was trying to make me feel at ease not to burden me or ashamed me. He’s the best father in the world after all.
I’m just going through this stage in life where I’m trying to find out who I am and what I want to become. So far, I’m 100 percent positive of two things: I’m gay and I want papa to be my boyfriend.
My future seems pretty clouded. I guess I can go live in America about the first one. Gay people seem to have a lot of fun there.
About marrying papa, I guess it’d be one of those dreams that will literally be dreams. I’m just being greedy. I want the world in the palm of my hand. Yunho understands. Not even 1o years ago he was going through the same. Such a perfect papa indeed
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
“You’re sighing. Did you hear what I just said?”
But… I really don’t want the world, I just want him. I’m cursed!!! Some witch must have curst me when I was a child. Yunho rejected her and broke her heart and now I’m the one paying for his mistakes. This is his fault.
“I was telling you, I totally defied that guy in senior year when he started messing with Kyuhyun”
“…What guy?”
“Kangin. He hit on you once, remember? Has a military haircut?“
“Ahhh. I remember“
My poor Kyu he’s totally thinking about surgery for his eyelids now. He says he already started saving money.
I heard Changmin’s voice in the background and Junsu cracking up.
What would be want double eyelids? Chun loves me because of my single-eye lid. It’s not the eyes, but the stare. I’ll help him work on his charisma.
Pfffff. You?
“Hyung, you look like your pig just died” Yoochun woke me up.
“Jiji? Oh no. He’s a cat. He’s alive”
“I know”
“… He’s just fat”
“Is it because of Jin Yihan?”
“Who?”
“I know you want to forget about it. And I agree, you should put it behind you, but if it’s bothering you, don’t keep it to yourself. You can talk to us”
Ahhh, my perverted tutor. I remember him now. I’ll throw a shoe at his face if I ever see him again.
Then I realized that I had just thought about him and the incident. I cringed with the image of him licking my body.
Stupid Jin Yihan that wasn’t for you. I need papa to clean my ochichin now!
Flashes of Yunho kissing my crotch made it into my head fast, very fast. My eyes suddenly wanted out of my eye sockets and I jumped.
“What?!” Yoochun startled too.
What is this?!!! My life has turned into a film plagued with subliminal advertisement of myself and Yunho having sex.
“Are you all right?”
I can’t be like this. I’ll get horny. It’s too much.
“Hyung, it’s not healthy to keep your emotions to yourself”
“Chun… what do you think about having sex?!” I asked, agitated.
He put a hand on my shoulder, I frowned. “I love you too, but I’m dating Junsu”
“Aish! I don’t mean that!” I pushed him away. “I mean it in general. What does sex mean?”
He blinked.
“I’m not making any sense am I? It’s not an easy question.”
“No, I guess…. I can explain it to you. I kinda expected you to know. Well… umm, the man’s penis goes inside the wom--. OWCH! WHAT?!”
“I DIDN’T MEAN THAT!”
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MEAN?”
“Guys, what’s wrong?”
Junsu and Changmin’s eyes were on me. Yoochun’s too. Inquiring eyes. I felt cornered. I don’t know what I mean! I don’t know! I haven’t figured it out yet!
“I mean like how does sex change two people who love each other? What it’s so great about sex when it should be feelings what matters most? Why is some sex right and some sex wrong? That’s what I’m asking!”
Jaejoong screamed at once, let the air out of his lungs, fast and abrupt, and then he was panting. His chest went up and down hastily while he felt the heat rise to his cheeks in front of the confused faces of his best friends. They were speechless. His eyes welled up with tears. He felt alone and he didn’t want to be judged, so he ran out of the room.
And there was his father in the middle of the hall, with his washing gloves and his apron. Jaejoong looked at him and the concern in his eyes and he simply ran faster, not caring that he bumped against him in a hurry.
Jaejoongie. He heard him, but Jaejoong needed to get away. The mesh of his own questions and concerns which seemed forever tied to his heart, was squeezing it very hard and it hurt. He needed to calm down, stop thinking.
He walked the streets of his quiet neighborhood with lazy feet and eyes on the ground for an hour. It was almost sunset and he was missing the beautiful shades of orange and pink that the sky displayed in front of him.
Little by little, he noticed his shadow which grew longer and longer. The sun was leaving him by the horizon. He looked up in time to say goodbye. The image comforted him. Then he recognized the empty playground in the street in front. It was one of his favorite places when he was a child. Jaejoong realized he had been walking fast and a lot for that park was on the other side of the city.
He crossed the street and sat in one of the swings. Memories came rushing at once, too many since everything looked the exact same. He remembered there was a younger Yunho by his side, playing with him, catching him as he threw himself at his arms from the monkey bars, pushing him on the swings, helping him climb the slides. Nothing had changed, just himself.
Jaejoong left the playground behind, he didn’t have a destination and though he knew the surroundings very well, he felt incredibly lost. His steps were peaceful and his heart wasn’t racing anymore, but he hadn’t calmed down, he was sadder than before.
He looked back like a puppy kicked out of his home and there was his father. Yunho ran after him the moment he left the building and had been looking for him for the past hour. But he stayed where he was, a couple meters of distance… with his flowery apron and now the washing gloves in his pocket.
Jaejoong thought he looked ridiculous and yet so handsome and endearing. It felt like lukewarm water streaking on his back to look at him there.
He wasn’t mad at his father for following him. It comforted him because he didn’t want to be left alone. For quite a while, he felt mute to speak up and now that he screamed his heart out, there would not be a worst medicine to his sore heart than having his feelings swept under the carpet, like a box of unwanted objects left in the dark. He didn’t know how to react, he was embarrassed and confused, but Jaejoong did know that he needed someone who took him seriously.
Seriously enough as to run behind him for an hour wearing a flowery apron and washing gloves.
His feelings mattered even if he wished they didn’t. Even if to him they sounded silly and crazy and he wished to be the one to seal the box and throw it into the sea. But he wanted someone who made an effort to try to care. Right now, he didn’t need to be left alone, he needed to be chased. And so there was Yunho, annoying him and at the same thing being the brightest star in the sky for Jaejoong. That perfect person in his world who could not only read his mind but his heart and made him feel the most loved.
Jaejoong sat in the corner of a concrete bench that seemed to have its own headboard made of fluffy bushes. He looked back believing his father would sit nearby, like a chaperone. But Yunho was gone. Jaejoong frowned and peeked his head further, but the other wasn’t around anymore.
Where did he go?
He felt a cold poke on his wrist and there was a cherry-flavored beverage on his side. There was Yunho as well, sitting a couple seats away from him, having a coke himself and pretending he didn’t know him.
Jaejoong reluctantly took the coke and drank from it. Indeed, he was very thirsty. He looked at his father from the side of his eye. Yunho was looking at the neighborhood and the city below the hill they were on. Jaejoong fully turned his head towards him and just stared, then slowly, almost imperceptibly, he moved his cute butt closer to where his father was sitting. He noticed the soft smile that curved Yunho’s lips when they were side by side.
Swiftly he felt Yunho’s arms around him and at the next blink of his eyes, he had his back on the grass and his father’s weight on top of him and though Yunho was crushing him in his embrace, his heart could not feel more contented or it’d have exploded.
“Why does this little boy keep frightening his dad like this? I looked for you every place I thought you might be. Papa was very worried. If you run away, Jaejoong, if you were to leave me, I don’t know what I’ll do. What do you do this to me?” His voice was frail and it made Jaejoong’s eyes overflow with tears.
“Papa… I’m sorry”
Yunho pulled away and stared at Jaejoong with those eyes that could not lie and had nothing but love for the young man. Jaejoong looked at him unable to breathe, he was so close and he was nervous. He should be able to feel relaxed with Yunho, but he couldn’t. His heart was racing, their faces were so close and he was on top of him.
Yunho then combed Jaejoong’s hair back and leaned down, Jaejoong closed his eyes and their lips touched.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a hell of a kiss. Not even when Jaejoong kissed him before, it felt as real and powerful as that kiss. It might as well be his first real kiss… with his papa nevertheless.
The taste, the feel and the sounds that Yunho's mouth made with his made Jaejoong delirious. He could leave the Earth without a single regret after that kiss. That amazing . And Jaejoong did as he does in his dreams, he let go, he hugged Yunho and ran his hands on his back while he pulled him closer by the hems of his shirt. It did feel infinitely more intense than in his dreams though.
When they broke apart, he wouldn’t look at Yunho in the eyes. His face had turned red like tomato, but he was laughing on the inside, maniacally, like a pirate who just found his long time lost treasure.
Yunho caressed his cheeks and put his hand under his chin to meet his evasive eyes.
“Promise me you won’t run away from me again, BooJae”
Jaejoong saw the concern in Yunho’s begging eyes and there he realized something that had the power to change their relationship forever: even if he moaned in the middle of the kiss and even if there was some stiffness in his trousers strong enough to poke an eye out of someone’s face, Yunho made no difference of it.
“Silly” He patted his head. “I’m never leaving you”
Yunho sat up and placed his son on his lap. “Do you remember when you were a little boy and I brought you here?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Papa brought me to this park and we lay down on the grass. We could watch the clouds for hours”
“Ne Jaejoongie. Is that an elephant?”
He looked and looked and twisted my head in every angle. “I don’t see it, papa”
“What about that one? That’s a jellyfish or… maybe a wedding dress”
“I don’t see it. I only see awful things” He shut his eyes tight.
“What do you see?” Yunho asked, again with noticeable concern and Jaejoong felt guilty that he could not change the tone of his father’s voice because everything that came out of his mouth worried him lately.
That elephant. I only saw its trunk and looked like a penis to me. Then that jellyfish, it looked like legs, a man with his legs open. I only see horrible things. The young man thought to himself, incapable of pronouncing a word.
“Things are not like they used to be, papa. I’m not your sweet, little boy anymore”
“No, Jaejoongie. Don't say that. Papa knows that you’re growing up and he knows there a lot of doubts and feelings that arise and don’t seem so easy to handle. But no matter what, no matter if you don’t want to pick up papa’s calls once you have your own apartment or no matter if you’re having sex every night when you’re a grown up, you’ll always be papa’s sweet udon head. And I will always remember that you wanted to marry me” Yunho giggled.
“Papa did you hear what I told my friends?”
“Hmm”
“I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know why I said that”
“Your friends are also your fans, Jaejoong. They admire you, they were saying you’re their icon of justice, should represent LGTB rights. I think Jun-chan was crying. Yoochun said he felt bad for wanting to advise you when you’re such a mature Hyung”
“Ehh?”
“My son is so wise for his age”
This was not what he expected. Jaejoong thought his friends might be laughing with his outburst. He also feared he had given himself away by blurting those questions. They have teased him several times ever since elementary school about his dream to marry Yunho. Even today they kept saying that he was head over heels in love with his father.
“How come? I don’t have the answer to my questions, papa”
“The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions. John Simone" He tapped Jaejoong's nose. "I don’t have the answers either, baby. But at least you know well what you’re looking for. Papa is very proud. Don’t grow up so fast hmm?”
He smiled and did as Yunho and they watched the sky which was slowly turning blue. Jaejoong couldn’t help to notice how pretty Yunho looked with the last sunrays washing over him. His father said he had matured so much in these months which he didn’t believe, but Jaejoong was happy to hear him say that. He took a deep breath, being there with Yunho, it was soothing like in the past. He was glad they had come back.
“Jaejoongie…?”
“Yes, papa?”
“There’s something I want to know. Were your questions because of what happened with Yihan?”
“No papa. It’s not because of him. It’s because of someone else”
“Someone else?”
“Someone amazing I’m very in love with” He beamed and right there as the night greeted them, Jaejoong recognized a puffy heart shaped cloud, moving as it was pounding and alive.
He closed his eyes and lay on the ground with his arms wide open. It did make him happy, not that his father was gullible and easy to manipulate when it came to him, but that the love he had to give him didn’t know boundaries. And Jaejoong felt ashamed of himself because he was the one who put barriers between them.
Love should build bridges not walls.
However, he was able to knock them down and he was going to.
He felt as if rain was falling over him. Soft and ticklish. He laughed to his heart's content. He was so relieved.
Little did Jaejoong know that there was rain copiously falling over his smiling features, but not the type of rain that would wet his clothes and forced him to look for shelter. It was grass and leaves, tiny snippets of it as the boy’s father tore down the bush behind them with his bare hands. As effective as a swordsman, that was the magnitude of Yunho’s rage.
It’s because of someone else. Someone amazing I’m in love with.
The words bounced like a ball inside the father’s heated head.
________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: Ahh I would have posted this much more sooner :((( It didn't take that long to write, but I just didn't log in anywhere. I was exploited the whole week because of evil project. You should have seen me drilling tanks and stuff. Who knew I could use tools? I'm so tough ^^ I worked very hard building these anaerobic digesters in my backyard and now I'm all sore and have a thousand mosquito bites everywhere. Let's hope none of those are from dengue fever or this might be my last A/N xc
Ok, back to the story. Important thing, Jaejoongie is ready to accept love in full form and take the next and big step (in the past excerpt). In the present, trouble is coming when Yunho asks Jae to go to Japan and leave him behind.
Comments are loved :)
Pairings: YunJae
Length: 3/8
Overall Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I was inspired by "Papa to Kiss in the Dark'. If you're familiar with the OVAs and have your reservations about the main theme there, even if it's YJ I would suggest that you don't read this. The story doesn't have any inhibitions about it. If you do like, hope you enjoy :)
Genre: AU, Romance, Fluff,
Summary: Everyone is blessed with one special thing. For Jung Jaejoong, it was his father and he needed no more. His father who was his world and he loved deeply, taut filial ties had no favoritism over right and wrong
The young man could not believe the bittersweet taste of success. His father might have been too lenient preparing him for that confusion and mix of emotions when his wishes were fulfilled and yet he was wishing for more.
The results of his university entrance exams were crushed in his right hand while he cried silently and muttered curses, his face pressed against the cushions. He had amazing news to give to his father, he was highly regarded to attend his first choice university, however those tears on Jaejoong’s face weren’t from joy. Life seemed to be generous to him, his hard work paid off abundantly and immediately; and he could proceed with his days accordingly to the wonderful Plan A, no need for Plan B… and yet.
I won’t go. Selfish bastard. … got tired of me? … take a lot into consideration… a decision like this. Aren’t we a couple? He doesn’t see … lover. just fucks me… lonely…. what is he … all by himself here? … bring women?... won’t forgive him….I hate him… much
“Who do you hate so much, hmm?”
I wiped my eyes roughly and stared at him. Yunho ran his hands on my hair and on my cheeks. He always does that, with so much love.
“We should get you a new haircut soon, for college, don’t you think?”
I looked away, bit my lip in anger. I wanted to move away from his touch, but he’s my dad. I can’t do that. I respect him and I love him. But this much fury inside me, it’s going to burst. I gripped my hands tighter and he looked at the letter I was trying to pulverize. He must have noticed the detail of the paper that his eyes widened slightly. He knew it was the letter from Japan. Yes, my future in my hands and since I was crushing it, it was expected he’d assume it didn’t go as planned. But he didn’t ask. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
“Let’s eat, beautiful. Papa made you your favorite”
I know he doesn’t care about the results. Whether I made it or not, he won’t nag me or blame me. He’s not disappointed. He only cares how I feel. And he knows there’s nothing I want more than to study music in Japan. I’ve been talking about it for over a year. But we never discussed that I’d be going on my own. He didn’t tell me that he wasn’t going with me which means that we have to live more than a thousand kilometers away from each other. I have never been away from him. Never.
He offered me his hand. “Ddeokbokki, thick sauce. Extra spicy. Just like you like it”
I stared at him. My eyes are like daggers tearing his skin apart and yet he’s looking me with so much warmth. I took his hand and pulled him towards me. As his body landed on top of mine, I hugged him tight and I planted a soft kiss on the side of his neck. I hate him, yet I love him with everything I have.
He accommodated me against the couch and I curled like a sushi roll with him. I just want to hold him and feel him close. I don’t understand why he’s doing this to me. I’m not a misbehaved child, I do the housework diligently. I don’t argue with him, I do well in school, I’m a great cook and I’m great in bed too. I can do it like an adult. I’m fun! Why does he want me away then?
“Did you have a good day?” He kissed my temple.
I won’t cry. I grabbed his shirt and buried myself in his chest. He had an apron and still there was a piece of egg in his white dress shirt. That’s my father. He’s perfect.
“Talk to papa, Joongie”
I shook my head. I don’t want to. I’m a mess . It frustrates me that I have to pick between him and music school when I shouldn’t. I want to cry. I undid his shirt and started sucking on his right nipple, softly, like a newborn with his mother. It calms me.
“I love you, Jaejoongie. I love you so much that my chest is going to explode because of you”
We wouldn’t have to separate if that was true. I crave this experience so much, because I imagined it with him. Now I’m just insecure and hesitant.
I was having my own internal quarrel because I wanted to confront him, but I was also very frightened to know what his reasons were. What if there was really someone else behind this? Did he find someone he likes at work, did he have a random, destiny-like meeting in the middle of the street with the woman of his dreams?
I felt very possessive of him and I bit him. He squirmed. I feel so helpless, I want all of him for me. I’m selfish and I don’t care. I won’t share Yunho with anyone. I bit him again. I became very aware then of the tiny wrinkles in his nipple, how much I made his cute nub protrude, how good it felt against my tongue. I lapped at his skin stubbornly and then bit him once more. Papa squirmed again and I went to his other nipple.
“Who is this naughty boy licking me?”
I couldn’t help to frown. Who would it be, but me? Stupid Yunho.
My hand undid his belt and sneaked inside his trousers and briefs while I was still kissing him and biting him for I was angry. I heard him chuckle when I touched my beautiful treasure with care. It’s not his member, it’s been mine for a long time. And it feels so good against my hand. No one can have it, no one can taste it, no one but me.
Papa wasn’t aroused yet, so I just touched him patiently, like if I wanted to draw a picture. I even love the feel of his pubic hair. He kissed my head and combed my hair while I did that. I leapt towards his lips and stole a needy kiss from him. I don’t think papa realizes how much I love him, how badly I need him.
I pulled his pants down and threw them away. I noticed his frown when they messily landed on the side of the coffee table. He’s so picky with untidiness. I smiled at him, not just from with my lips but from my heart. Everybody has little manias that sometimes seem unbearable and tiring, and yet when there’s that deep love, they also become endearing. I used to hate that papa was such a neat freak, but that’s how he is and I love absolutely everything about him. I could foresee my chaotic apartment without him around. I felt a stab in my chest, I don’t want to live without him.
I yanked his briefs away and I got in between his legs. He was finally naked from the waist down. The picture of him like that was mouthwatering and my breathing hastened. He still had his shirt and his apron, his socks, but his pants were gone and his member was there for me. I felt a mix of lust and love and fury watching him like that. I’d be despairing if someone else has papa like this.
I dug in. I kissed his inner thighs softly, just with the right amount of love I have for him in the middle of my qualms and frustration, and let his pubic hair brush my chin and cheeks. I licked the tip. I like to take my time and give him lots of kisses, see his member throb and leak. I like to explore him, like my own living doll. It’s not just sexual desire, I don’t know how to put it. I guess sex is not fulfilling for the senses only, it is in my heart twice as much. I guess it reminds me of my childhood, being held in his big arms. It is of the sweetest moments I have with him. But today is different. I do feel hunger overcome everything else. Lust. A lot of it. And I sucked him fully, with passion and fury, couldn’t stand the teasing any longer. His eyes were on me while I went up and down on his groin. But they were bright and warm and gave my heart so much reassurance.
“You want papa’s milk?”
I nodded my head and I reached to touch myself. My pants feel so tight. To give him pleasure, to see the pleasure on his face because of me, I don’t know anything that can make me as aroused and contented.
Papa, I love you.
“Sweetie, papa is about to…” He always warns me as if I would ever pull away. I love the taste of it. This is my milk I grew up with. Yunho used to take his member from my mouth before, but he can’t do that anymore. He knows I’ll go bonkers.
Soon, I felt the warm thick liquid hit the back of my throat and I groaned in pleasure, just like papa did. I swallowed it all and he said I was a good boy. He opened his arms and I didn’t hesitate to jump into his embrace. I hugged him tight as if I could melt my heart with his. He doesn’t understand how fraught of love I am towards him. I used to think he said the cheesiest words to me, he still does, but I understand their meaning now. He is the reason I live for too. He is the only one in my eyes.
Papa reached for the candy bowl that was in the middle of the coffee table. We used to have for Halloween only, but because of Changmin papa left it there permanently.
“You’ve become an expert at this, Jaejoongie. Whom have you been practicing with?”
“Just papa. Only papa” I smiled proudly.
“Papa wouldn’t mind if you have a boyfriend, sweetie”
And so I sat up, open mouthed in shock, I dropped the candy in my lips carelessly. Abruptly, the desire in the pit of my stomach and the anxiety that was nibbling my heart were washed away with dangerous dread.
Papa should never tell me that it’s all right for me to love someone else.
Papa took me to the hospital when I passed out. I haven’t been in a hospital since I have memory. Papa had always taken good care of me and I was a very healthy boy I guess, but that was the first time I ever fainted and he was fretting like he had found me gun-shot in the middle of the street.
The people in the hospital were very accessible. They did a complete check up on me. Apparently, the diagnosis was stress and a little dehydration. But it did cross papa’s mind that Yihan could be carrying some disease, so he made me stay in the hospital for the night to test me for absolutely everything.
Papa didn’t leave my side for the whole day and also didn’t around 5 nurses who were all over him. Even my doctor was blushing. She was young and pretty and she had to be a smart girl since she was already a physician. The male nurse on the floor was the only person I could talk to without getting annoyed because of the attention to my dad. He took care of me truthfully, not just to look good in front of Yunho. The rest of the nurses seemed too conscious of papa’s presence in the room and were excessively nice with me. I don’t blame them, papa has that effect on people. I shouldn’t complain since it’s beneficial to me. When I was little and I couldn’t understand much why they gave me presents and sweets I loved these fake people very much, but now that I understand I dislike them solely for their behavior.
Papa also knows. He looks at me and gives me that apologetic smile.
I hate you. I mouthed to him. I know. He mouthed back.
How could I hate him? I’m rabidly in love with him. I really want these women to go away so we can cuddle in the bed.
Papa says the same thing about me, that people, male and female, swarm around me like bees to honey. And that he gets very jealous and upset when we have to part ways. But I don’t care about others, doesn’t he know?
My eyes are on him, I’m always looking at him. Sadly in his periphery, there are those many who flirt with him. Like the nurses from my bedroom floor, then the middle-age pharmacist where he picked up my medicine, then the paramedic woman that was moving a stretcher just in front of our car and locked eyes with him. Then the waitress where he took me for lunch who giggled to herself when papa asked her opinion.
He wasn’t asking you for a date, woman! He was consulting the menu.
It’s also Yunho’s fault, since he’s very kind. While we're waiting for our food, he saw a woman sitting alone and he asked her to join us. He wasn’t doing it because he liked her. It was courtesy, too much of it. But he says that eating alone is bad for the stomach and the heart. The woman agreed and there I was half- eating, half-barfing as she tried her best to impress papa.
When we came back home, I had just placed my bag on the floor when papa hugged me from behind like he hadn’t seen me in years. It was that tight hug and it lasted that long. He told me that he missed me which I couldn’t understand since he was with me the whole time. I guess he means this, being together just the two of us. I was surrounded by a lot of people at the hospital and he couldn’t stay with me at night. He then told me that I wasn’t allowed to get sick, that he’ll have a heart attack if anything happened to me.
I would have nagged him that it had been his fault to start with, but I didn’t care. I was too happy in his arms to interrupt our moment. I guess I missed him too. I missed him so much.
Then he spanked my butt and shooed me away. He told me not to bother him because he had a lot of work to catch up and he closed the door in my nose. What a fraud. I still had the stupidest smile when I realized I was looking at the mahogany door shut at me. He sucks.
I decided to ring Changmin since I had missed two days at school and might need his absurd notes. He’s too smart to take notes, he says. The whole gang came with him and I spent the afternoon with my friends.
My friends love Yunho as well. They look at him like this wonderful hyung rather than my dad. Junsu loves him because
papa is another crazy soccer fan and he never misses any of Junsu’s matches. We go together, then I’m dumped and forgotten when papa and Junsu shoot balls after the game. Yunho is the goalkeeper and he says that Junsu has a very powerful kick. Then Changmin loves papa because he feeds him everything his mother doesn’t when he comes here. He clings to papa’s leg for food worst than I did when I was a child. Changmin has no pride. Then Yoochun asks papa for advice. He respects him because he can be strict and stern while a very loving and goofy parent.
I think I’m jealous of Chun the most. I can no longer go to papa for advice since I don’t know how to explain my feelings. I know that he was joking about us having sex. And I’m not as relieved about it as I thought I’d be. I never wanted to tell Yunho about my dreams because I didn’t want him to explain to me about our relationship which is of filial love and which can’t go to such extends as sex. I already know that. I don’t need him to tell me that we can’t be together like that. I don’t want to hear those words coming from his mouth. I think deep inside I’m scared of how heartbroken I’d be. I can’t be held accountable for what I dream, my mind just wanders those perverted territories every time I closed my eyes. However when I wake up in the morning or when I go through my dreams, even if for a second or two and even if I feel guiltier about it than the dream itself, there’s a smile in my face. It’s a real smile, almost a grin, very close to show my teeth.
I don’t understand myself. There’s a serious malfunction with my conscience. I was freaking out when I confessed to papa, but I was so happy that he didn’t look upset. He wasn’t alarmed or serious about it. He said he was going to cover me in chocolate and eat me up. I was worried about that and yet … excited and giddy. But I know him, he’s full of crap. He didn’t mean it. He was trying to make me feel at ease not to burden me or ashamed me. He’s the best father in the world after all.
I’m just going through this stage in life where I’m trying to find out who I am and what I want to become. So far, I’m 100 percent positive of two things: I’m gay and I want papa to be my boyfriend.
My future seems pretty clouded. I guess I can go live in America about the first one. Gay people seem to have a lot of fun there.
About marrying papa, I guess it’d be one of those dreams that will literally be dreams. I’m just being greedy. I want the world in the palm of my hand. Yunho understands. Not even 1o years ago he was going through the same. Such a perfect papa indeed
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh?”
“You’re sighing. Did you hear what I just said?”
But… I really don’t want the world, I just want him. I’m cursed!!! Some witch must have curst me when I was a child. Yunho rejected her and broke her heart and now I’m the one paying for his mistakes. This is his fault.
“I was telling you, I totally defied that guy in senior year when he started messing with Kyuhyun”
“…What guy?”
“Kangin. He hit on you once, remember? Has a military haircut?“
“Ahhh. I remember“
My poor Kyu he’s totally thinking about surgery for his eyelids now. He says he already started saving money.
I heard Changmin’s voice in the background and Junsu cracking up.
What would be want double eyelids? Chun loves me because of my single-eye lid. It’s not the eyes, but the stare. I’ll help him work on his charisma.
Pfffff. You?
“Hyung, you look like your pig just died” Yoochun woke me up.
“Jiji? Oh no. He’s a cat. He’s alive”
“I know”
“… He’s just fat”
“Is it because of Jin Yihan?”
“Who?”
“I know you want to forget about it. And I agree, you should put it behind you, but if it’s bothering you, don’t keep it to yourself. You can talk to us”
Ahhh, my perverted tutor. I remember him now. I’ll throw a shoe at his face if I ever see him again.
Then I realized that I had just thought about him and the incident. I cringed with the image of him licking my body.
Stupid Jin Yihan that wasn’t for you. I need papa to clean my ochichin now!
Flashes of Yunho kissing my crotch made it into my head fast, very fast. My eyes suddenly wanted out of my eye sockets and I jumped.
“What?!” Yoochun startled too.
What is this?!!! My life has turned into a film plagued with subliminal advertisement of myself and Yunho having sex.
“Are you all right?”
I can’t be like this. I’ll get horny. It’s too much.
“Hyung, it’s not healthy to keep your emotions to yourself”
“Chun… what do you think about having sex?!” I asked, agitated.
He put a hand on my shoulder, I frowned. “I love you too, but I’m dating Junsu”
“Aish! I don’t mean that!” I pushed him away. “I mean it in general. What does sex mean?”
He blinked.
“I’m not making any sense am I? It’s not an easy question.”
“No, I guess…. I can explain it to you. I kinda expected you to know. Well… umm, the man’s penis goes inside the wom--. OWCH! WHAT?!”
“I DIDN’T MEAN THAT!”
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MEAN?”
“Guys, what’s wrong?”
Junsu and Changmin’s eyes were on me. Yoochun’s too. Inquiring eyes. I felt cornered. I don’t know what I mean! I don’t know! I haven’t figured it out yet!
“I mean like how does sex change two people who love each other? What it’s so great about sex when it should be feelings what matters most? Why is some sex right and some sex wrong? That’s what I’m asking!”
Jaejoong screamed at once, let the air out of his lungs, fast and abrupt, and then he was panting. His chest went up and down hastily while he felt the heat rise to his cheeks in front of the confused faces of his best friends. They were speechless. His eyes welled up with tears. He felt alone and he didn’t want to be judged, so he ran out of the room.
And there was his father in the middle of the hall, with his washing gloves and his apron. Jaejoong looked at him and the concern in his eyes and he simply ran faster, not caring that he bumped against him in a hurry.
Jaejoongie. He heard him, but Jaejoong needed to get away. The mesh of his own questions and concerns which seemed forever tied to his heart, was squeezing it very hard and it hurt. He needed to calm down, stop thinking.
He walked the streets of his quiet neighborhood with lazy feet and eyes on the ground for an hour. It was almost sunset and he was missing the beautiful shades of orange and pink that the sky displayed in front of him.
Little by little, he noticed his shadow which grew longer and longer. The sun was leaving him by the horizon. He looked up in time to say goodbye. The image comforted him. Then he recognized the empty playground in the street in front. It was one of his favorite places when he was a child. Jaejoong realized he had been walking fast and a lot for that park was on the other side of the city.
He crossed the street and sat in one of the swings. Memories came rushing at once, too many since everything looked the exact same. He remembered there was a younger Yunho by his side, playing with him, catching him as he threw himself at his arms from the monkey bars, pushing him on the swings, helping him climb the slides. Nothing had changed, just himself.
Jaejoong left the playground behind, he didn’t have a destination and though he knew the surroundings very well, he felt incredibly lost. His steps were peaceful and his heart wasn’t racing anymore, but he hadn’t calmed down, he was sadder than before.
He looked back like a puppy kicked out of his home and there was his father. Yunho ran after him the moment he left the building and had been looking for him for the past hour. But he stayed where he was, a couple meters of distance… with his flowery apron and now the washing gloves in his pocket.
Jaejoong thought he looked ridiculous and yet so handsome and endearing. It felt like lukewarm water streaking on his back to look at him there.
He wasn’t mad at his father for following him. It comforted him because he didn’t want to be left alone. For quite a while, he felt mute to speak up and now that he screamed his heart out, there would not be a worst medicine to his sore heart than having his feelings swept under the carpet, like a box of unwanted objects left in the dark. He didn’t know how to react, he was embarrassed and confused, but Jaejoong did know that he needed someone who took him seriously.
Seriously enough as to run behind him for an hour wearing a flowery apron and washing gloves.
His feelings mattered even if he wished they didn’t. Even if to him they sounded silly and crazy and he wished to be the one to seal the box and throw it into the sea. But he wanted someone who made an effort to try to care. Right now, he didn’t need to be left alone, he needed to be chased. And so there was Yunho, annoying him and at the same thing being the brightest star in the sky for Jaejoong. That perfect person in his world who could not only read his mind but his heart and made him feel the most loved.
Jaejoong sat in the corner of a concrete bench that seemed to have its own headboard made of fluffy bushes. He looked back believing his father would sit nearby, like a chaperone. But Yunho was gone. Jaejoong frowned and peeked his head further, but the other wasn’t around anymore.
Where did he go?
He felt a cold poke on his wrist and there was a cherry-flavored beverage on his side. There was Yunho as well, sitting a couple seats away from him, having a coke himself and pretending he didn’t know him.
Jaejoong reluctantly took the coke and drank from it. Indeed, he was very thirsty. He looked at his father from the side of his eye. Yunho was looking at the neighborhood and the city below the hill they were on. Jaejoong fully turned his head towards him and just stared, then slowly, almost imperceptibly, he moved his cute butt closer to where his father was sitting. He noticed the soft smile that curved Yunho’s lips when they were side by side.
Swiftly he felt Yunho’s arms around him and at the next blink of his eyes, he had his back on the grass and his father’s weight on top of him and though Yunho was crushing him in his embrace, his heart could not feel more contented or it’d have exploded.
“Why does this little boy keep frightening his dad like this? I looked for you every place I thought you might be. Papa was very worried. If you run away, Jaejoong, if you were to leave me, I don’t know what I’ll do. What do you do this to me?” His voice was frail and it made Jaejoong’s eyes overflow with tears.
“Papa… I’m sorry”
Yunho pulled away and stared at Jaejoong with those eyes that could not lie and had nothing but love for the young man. Jaejoong looked at him unable to breathe, he was so close and he was nervous. He should be able to feel relaxed with Yunho, but he couldn’t. His heart was racing, their faces were so close and he was on top of him.
Yunho then combed Jaejoong’s hair back and leaned down, Jaejoong closed his eyes and their lips touched.
It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a hell of a kiss. Not even when Jaejoong kissed him before, it felt as real and powerful as that kiss. It might as well be his first real kiss… with his papa nevertheless.
The taste, the feel and the sounds that Yunho's mouth made with his made Jaejoong delirious. He could leave the Earth without a single regret after that kiss. That amazing . And Jaejoong did as he does in his dreams, he let go, he hugged Yunho and ran his hands on his back while he pulled him closer by the hems of his shirt. It did feel infinitely more intense than in his dreams though.
When they broke apart, he wouldn’t look at Yunho in the eyes. His face had turned red like tomato, but he was laughing on the inside, maniacally, like a pirate who just found his long time lost treasure.
Yunho caressed his cheeks and put his hand under his chin to meet his evasive eyes.
“Promise me you won’t run away from me again, BooJae”
Jaejoong saw the concern in Yunho’s begging eyes and there he realized something that had the power to change their relationship forever: even if he moaned in the middle of the kiss and even if there was some stiffness in his trousers strong enough to poke an eye out of someone’s face, Yunho made no difference of it.
“Silly” He patted his head. “I’m never leaving you”
Yunho sat up and placed his son on his lap. “Do you remember when you were a little boy and I brought you here?”
Jaejoong nodded. “Papa brought me to this park and we lay down on the grass. We could watch the clouds for hours”
“Ne Jaejoongie. Is that an elephant?”
He looked and looked and twisted my head in every angle. “I don’t see it, papa”
“What about that one? That’s a jellyfish or… maybe a wedding dress”
“I don’t see it. I only see awful things” He shut his eyes tight.
“What do you see?” Yunho asked, again with noticeable concern and Jaejoong felt guilty that he could not change the tone of his father’s voice because everything that came out of his mouth worried him lately.
That elephant. I only saw its trunk and looked like a penis to me. Then that jellyfish, it looked like legs, a man with his legs open. I only see horrible things. The young man thought to himself, incapable of pronouncing a word.
“Things are not like they used to be, papa. I’m not your sweet, little boy anymore”
“No, Jaejoongie. Don't say that. Papa knows that you’re growing up and he knows there a lot of doubts and feelings that arise and don’t seem so easy to handle. But no matter what, no matter if you don’t want to pick up papa’s calls once you have your own apartment or no matter if you’re having sex every night when you’re a grown up, you’ll always be papa’s sweet udon head. And I will always remember that you wanted to marry me” Yunho giggled.
“Papa did you hear what I told my friends?”
“Hmm”
“I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know why I said that”
“Your friends are also your fans, Jaejoong. They admire you, they were saying you’re their icon of justice, should represent LGTB rights. I think Jun-chan was crying. Yoochun said he felt bad for wanting to advise you when you’re such a mature Hyung”
“Ehh?”
“My son is so wise for his age”
This was not what he expected. Jaejoong thought his friends might be laughing with his outburst. He also feared he had given himself away by blurting those questions. They have teased him several times ever since elementary school about his dream to marry Yunho. Even today they kept saying that he was head over heels in love with his father.
“How come? I don’t have the answer to my questions, papa”
“The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions. John Simone" He tapped Jaejoong's nose. "I don’t have the answers either, baby. But at least you know well what you’re looking for. Papa is very proud. Don’t grow up so fast hmm?”
He smiled and did as Yunho and they watched the sky which was slowly turning blue. Jaejoong couldn’t help to notice how pretty Yunho looked with the last sunrays washing over him. His father said he had matured so much in these months which he didn’t believe, but Jaejoong was happy to hear him say that. He took a deep breath, being there with Yunho, it was soothing like in the past. He was glad they had come back.
“Jaejoongie…?”
“Yes, papa?”
“There’s something I want to know. Were your questions because of what happened with Yihan?”
“No papa. It’s not because of him. It’s because of someone else”
“Someone else?”
“Someone amazing I’m very in love with” He beamed and right there as the night greeted them, Jaejoong recognized a puffy heart shaped cloud, moving as it was pounding and alive.
He closed his eyes and lay on the ground with his arms wide open. It did make him happy, not that his father was gullible and easy to manipulate when it came to him, but that the love he had to give him didn’t know boundaries. And Jaejoong felt ashamed of himself because he was the one who put barriers between them.
Love should build bridges not walls.
However, he was able to knock them down and he was going to.
He felt as if rain was falling over him. Soft and ticklish. He laughed to his heart's content. He was so relieved.
Little did Jaejoong know that there was rain copiously falling over his smiling features, but not the type of rain that would wet his clothes and forced him to look for shelter. It was grass and leaves, tiny snippets of it as the boy’s father tore down the bush behind them with his bare hands. As effective as a swordsman, that was the magnitude of Yunho’s rage.
It’s because of someone else. Someone amazing I’m in love with.
The words bounced like a ball inside the father’s heated head.
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A/N: Ahh I would have posted this much more sooner :((( It didn't take that long to write, but I just didn't log in anywhere. I was exploited the whole week because of evil project. You should have seen me drilling tanks and stuff. Who knew I could use tools? I'm so tough ^^ I worked very hard building these anaerobic digesters in my backyard and now I'm all sore and have a thousand mosquito bites everywhere. Let's hope none of those are from dengue fever or this might be my last A/N xc
Ok, back to the story. Important thing, Jaejoongie is ready to accept love in full form and take the next and big step (in the past excerpt). In the present, trouble is coming when Yunho asks Jae to go to Japan and leave him behind.
Comments are loved :)