鸩:Poison Bird (1) | Chapter 4 Part 1
鸩:Poison Bird (1) | Chapter 4 Part 1
"Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare." -- Wendelin Van Draanen
Checking into a hotel, they went into the room without saying a word to each other. One sat silently on the sofa, while the other sat on the bed, drying his hair.
"Say, Kim Jaejoong, why are you spacing out? Don't tell me you're angry at me because I came between you and your mother!?" With a towel on his head, Yunho turned to the silent Jaejoong, a smirk tugging on the edge of his lips.
Hearing this, Jaejoong's head immediately shot up, fists clenched and face ghastly white as he glared hard at Yunho, trying to restrain himself. And then, he got up abruptly and picked up his jacket from the bed as he made his way to the door.
"Oi! Where do you think you're going!?" Yunho quickly shot to his feet and grabbed Jaejoong's arm. He tried to shake Yunho off but Yunho's firm grip kept him from storming out of the room.
"What are you trying to do?" The more Yunho tried to hold him back, the more Jaejoong struggled to break free, until he finally snapped.
"Let go of me, you bastard!!" He clawed at the door with his free hand like a mad man, desperately trying to get out.
"Kim Jaejoong!! Jeesus... You're so stubborn! Calm down, will you!?" After shouting back, Yunho suddenly pulled Jaejoong into his arms, locking him in a tight embrace in an attempt to restrain the thrashing boy and calm him down. Jaejoong couldn't shake him off, so he sank to the floor weakly, pulling Yunho down with him. He buried his head in his arms as the tears and sobs broke through, crying as if he was pouring out all the sadness in his heart, not caring if it would leave his throat sore afterwards.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why... Why!?"
Seeing Jaejoong like this, Yunho could only tighten his arms around the trembling boy.
"Alright, I was just kidding... It just made me really mad when I see you being humiliated and yet you aren't fighting back..."
Jaejoong ignored Yunho and kept sobbing, his voice coming out in short bursts, "It hurts... Why don't you just kill me? What did I do wrong...? Is this some sort of punishment from God? I... I just don't want to be disliked by others, but why... Why does everyone hate me so much? Why...!?"
"I don't hate you, you know, I'm just really angry at you. Why aren't you like everyone else? Why won't you retaliate? Doesn't it hurt, having to accept the way people treat you?" Yunho frowned, whispering to Jaejoong as if he was afraid that he might scare the boy.
"I... I don't want to be disliked, and I don't want to be hurt... But why does everyone hate me so much that they all want to hurt me? No matter where I hide, I will still be hurt..." Jaejoong trembled even more when he said these words, his voice muffled by uncontrollable sobs as he leaned weakly into Yunho's chest.
"What am I supposed to do now? Umma was so furious... How am I going to face her?"
"Why the hell do you even want to go back there!?" Yunho felt his anger rise again at Jaejoong's words.
"You're telling me that you still want to live with that sicko? And let her mistreat you? Is that the sort of life you want, being at someone's beck and call like a dog? Letting her hit you when she's upset, and when she's not..." Yunho bit back his words, unwilling to probe at Jaejoong's emotional scars any further.
"Really, how can there be someone like her in this world?" Yunho mumbled, clearly exasperated. "Not caring for anything other than her own pleasure, and she won't even spare her own son! Such a reckless woman with a crazy sex drive..."
"You're not any better! Toying with women all day and ordering me around like I'm your servant! When you're in a foul mood, you make my life miserable, and when you feel good, you crash my house on a whim and turn my otherwise normal life upside down..." Jaejoong interrupted him, glaring at the other boy.
"What? Wha-what!? 'Normal'? You call that sort of life 'normal'?? You're the freak here, not me! That's your mother pawing you over, you know? What's your dad for! If I hadn't appeared in your life to save you from her, how much longer can you tolerate this sort of lifestyle!?" Yunho fumed.
"...My dad is dead! And she isn't my biological mother! You happy now!?" Jaejoong snapped back. He rose to his feet, bending over to retrieve his jacket from the floor but Yunho quickly pushed him towards the wall.
"What? She's not your real mother? Sweet heavens... Are you really mad? She has no blood ties with and yet you tolerate this sort of shit from her? Why!?"
"Jung Yunho!! This has nothing to do with you, so will you please stop meddling in my affairs!? I've always led a quiet life until you appeared and messed everything up! I'm ostracized by my classmates, bullied by you, and now even my home is in a mess. Your existence is practically a torture to me, a disaster. You stand for everything that isn't normal! Before you happened, I'd planned out exactly how I wanted to live my life and the things I wanted to do in the future. These are my decisions, my life, but why did you have to destroy it all over and over again!? What am I supposed to do now...?"
Jaejoong yelled at Yunho in despair, clenching his hands into fists against Yunho's chest and holding onto him for dear life. Everything that happened that night had already pushed him to the edge, emotionally and physically.
Yunho was stunned by Jaejoong's sudden tirade, and even more so by his tears and the way he couldn't stop trembling. He only managed to sort out his thoughts after a long pause, clearing his throat as he spoke, "Yes! I'm your anti-thesis! And I just want to bully you! Look at that gloomy face of yours.... Who wouldn't want to torment you? Whenever I see you walk around looking as if your head was in the clouds, I just feel like punching you to bring you back to reality! Speaking of which, it's really your face that's at fault here. You already look so much like a girl, and yet you always have this pitiful expression! When I first saw you, I had a feeling that you aren't like everyone else, but I didn't expect you to be this much of a freak!"
"In what way am I not normal!?" Jaejoong protested.
"You love it when others mistreat you! You enjoy being treated unfairly! You don't dare to protect yourself, and you don't have the guts to face up to your own life! You're not fighting a war here, you're practically running away from reality, you coward!! In the end, you're just a masochist and not some saint that you're making yourself out to be!" these words tumbled out of Yunho's mouth before he could stop them, stunning Jaejoong into silence.
He glanced up and, for the first time, he saw Jung Yunho as he is, so near and yet so far. In that instant, he had a feeling that both of them were the same, and that's why Yunho saw through him and pierced his heart where it hurts most, analyzing every inch of his psyche perfectly. Hearing those words, it made him realize for a moment that everything he did in the past really did resemble some sort of twisted masochism. Was he really the one torturing himself all this while?
Looking at Yunho now, Jaejoong noticed that there was something different now. He wondered why he hadn't noticed it before - Yunho's well-defined brows, those mysterious eyes that held so much emotion in them, his sharp nose and full lips... A dizzyingly stunning man stood before Jaejoong, but he only realized it now. All this felt so familiar and yet foreign at the same time. The past months had been nothing short of a nightmare, but this person had unknowingly become a fixture in Jaejoong's life. All the things that happened that night made Jaejoong feel that this person had broken into his world at last, and even though he wasn't quite sure what his feelings were, one thing was certain - those eyes that looked right into his soul, perhaps they could even read his thoughts like magic.
"Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare." -- Wendelin Van Draanen
Checking into a hotel, they went into the room without saying a word to each other. One sat silently on the sofa, while the other sat on the bed, drying his hair.
"Say, Kim Jaejoong, why are you spacing out? Don't tell me you're angry at me because I came between you and your mother!?" With a towel on his head, Yunho turned to the silent Jaejoong, a smirk tugging on the edge of his lips.
Hearing this, Jaejoong's head immediately shot up, fists clenched and face ghastly white as he glared hard at Yunho, trying to restrain himself. And then, he got up abruptly and picked up his jacket from the bed as he made his way to the door.
"Oi! Where do you think you're going!?" Yunho quickly shot to his feet and grabbed Jaejoong's arm. He tried to shake Yunho off but Yunho's firm grip kept him from storming out of the room.
"What are you trying to do?" The more Yunho tried to hold him back, the more Jaejoong struggled to break free, until he finally snapped.
"Let go of me, you bastard!!" He clawed at the door with his free hand like a mad man, desperately trying to get out.
"Kim Jaejoong!! Jeesus... You're so stubborn! Calm down, will you!?" After shouting back, Yunho suddenly pulled Jaejoong into his arms, locking him in a tight embrace in an attempt to restrain the thrashing boy and calm him down. Jaejoong couldn't shake him off, so he sank to the floor weakly, pulling Yunho down with him. He buried his head in his arms as the tears and sobs broke through, crying as if he was pouring out all the sadness in his heart, not caring if it would leave his throat sore afterwards.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why... Why!?"
Seeing Jaejoong like this, Yunho could only tighten his arms around the trembling boy.
"Alright, I was just kidding... It just made me really mad when I see you being humiliated and yet you aren't fighting back..."
Jaejoong ignored Yunho and kept sobbing, his voice coming out in short bursts, "It hurts... Why don't you just kill me? What did I do wrong...? Is this some sort of punishment from God? I... I just don't want to be disliked by others, but why... Why does everyone hate me so much? Why...!?"
"I don't hate you, you know, I'm just really angry at you. Why aren't you like everyone else? Why won't you retaliate? Doesn't it hurt, having to accept the way people treat you?" Yunho frowned, whispering to Jaejoong as if he was afraid that he might scare the boy.
"I... I don't want to be disliked, and I don't want to be hurt... But why does everyone hate me so much that they all want to hurt me? No matter where I hide, I will still be hurt..." Jaejoong trembled even more when he said these words, his voice muffled by uncontrollable sobs as he leaned weakly into Yunho's chest.
"What am I supposed to do now? Umma was so furious... How am I going to face her?"
"Why the hell do you even want to go back there!?" Yunho felt his anger rise again at Jaejoong's words.
"You're telling me that you still want to live with that sicko? And let her mistreat you? Is that the sort of life you want, being at someone's beck and call like a dog? Letting her hit you when she's upset, and when she's not..." Yunho bit back his words, unwilling to probe at Jaejoong's emotional scars any further.
"Really, how can there be someone like her in this world?" Yunho mumbled, clearly exasperated. "Not caring for anything other than her own pleasure, and she won't even spare her own son! Such a reckless woman with a crazy sex drive..."
"You're not any better! Toying with women all day and ordering me around like I'm your servant! When you're in a foul mood, you make my life miserable, and when you feel good, you crash my house on a whim and turn my otherwise normal life upside down..." Jaejoong interrupted him, glaring at the other boy.
"What? Wha-what!? 'Normal'? You call that sort of life 'normal'?? You're the freak here, not me! That's your mother pawing you over, you know? What's your dad for! If I hadn't appeared in your life to save you from her, how much longer can you tolerate this sort of lifestyle!?" Yunho fumed.
"...My dad is dead! And she isn't my biological mother! You happy now!?" Jaejoong snapped back. He rose to his feet, bending over to retrieve his jacket from the floor but Yunho quickly pushed him towards the wall.
"What? She's not your real mother? Sweet heavens... Are you really mad? She has no blood ties with and yet you tolerate this sort of shit from her? Why!?"
"Jung Yunho!! This has nothing to do with you, so will you please stop meddling in my affairs!? I've always led a quiet life until you appeared and messed everything up! I'm ostracized by my classmates, bullied by you, and now even my home is in a mess. Your existence is practically a torture to me, a disaster. You stand for everything that isn't normal! Before you happened, I'd planned out exactly how I wanted to live my life and the things I wanted to do in the future. These are my decisions, my life, but why did you have to destroy it all over and over again!? What am I supposed to do now...?"
Jaejoong yelled at Yunho in despair, clenching his hands into fists against Yunho's chest and holding onto him for dear life. Everything that happened that night had already pushed him to the edge, emotionally and physically.
Yunho was stunned by Jaejoong's sudden tirade, and even more so by his tears and the way he couldn't stop trembling. He only managed to sort out his thoughts after a long pause, clearing his throat as he spoke, "Yes! I'm your anti-thesis! And I just want to bully you! Look at that gloomy face of yours.... Who wouldn't want to torment you? Whenever I see you walk around looking as if your head was in the clouds, I just feel like punching you to bring you back to reality! Speaking of which, it's really your face that's at fault here. You already look so much like a girl, and yet you always have this pitiful expression! When I first saw you, I had a feeling that you aren't like everyone else, but I didn't expect you to be this much of a freak!"
"In what way am I not normal!?" Jaejoong protested.
"You love it when others mistreat you! You enjoy being treated unfairly! You don't dare to protect yourself, and you don't have the guts to face up to your own life! You're not fighting a war here, you're practically running away from reality, you coward!! In the end, you're just a masochist and not some saint that you're making yourself out to be!" these words tumbled out of Yunho's mouth before he could stop them, stunning Jaejoong into silence.
He glanced up and, for the first time, he saw Jung Yunho as he is, so near and yet so far. In that instant, he had a feeling that both of them were the same, and that's why Yunho saw through him and pierced his heart where it hurts most, analyzing every inch of his psyche perfectly. Hearing those words, it made him realize for a moment that everything he did in the past really did resemble some sort of twisted masochism. Was he really the one torturing himself all this while?
Looking at Yunho now, Jaejoong noticed that there was something different now. He wondered why he hadn't noticed it before - Yunho's well-defined brows, those mysterious eyes that held so much emotion in them, his sharp nose and full lips... A dizzyingly stunning man stood before Jaejoong, but he only realized it now. All this felt so familiar and yet foreign at the same time. The past months had been nothing short of a nightmare, but this person had unknowingly become a fixture in Jaejoong's life. All the things that happened that night made Jaejoong feel that this person had broken into his world at last, and even though he wasn't quite sure what his feelings were, one thing was certain - those eyes that looked right into his soul, perhaps they could even read his thoughts like magic.