鸩:Poison Bird (1) | Chapter 4 Part 2
鸩:Poison Bird (1) | Chapter 4 Part 2
T/N: I'm.... back. For now. Been really caught up with a lot of shit happening in my life, but at least now I have a bit of time to myself.
"你永远都不会化身像泡沫一样，难道你不知道吗？You'll never fade like foam on the sea, don't you know that?" - Baby Don't Cry, EXO
"...Come on... If you don't want to be bullied anymore, then tell me what happened.... right from the start..." Seeing Jaejoong stare at him wide-eyed and speechless, Yunho fell silent for a while before speaking again, his voice slightly hoarse.
He sat on the bed, watching silently and patiently as Jaejoong struggled to put his story to words, trying to undo the years of keeping everything to himself. Occasionally his thoughts would drift as he listened, falling deep into his thoughts.
The room was quiet, disrupted intermittently only by Jaejoong's meek voice. His story came as a shock, to Yunho and even to Jaejoong himself, who had never dreamed that one day he would be able to confide in another person all the things he had hidden away. They sat apart from each other, enveloped by the tranquility of the night, but at that instant both of them felt it - a tiny miracle tugging at their fates and pulling them together, inexplicably, but nevertheless precious.
"My father married twice when he was alive - the first was my biological mother. She had a weak body, and giving birth to me took a huge toll on her frail health. Father was the head of an orphanage so he took in my sister as well, but mother died shortly after. With two children to care for, father just couldn't cope, so he re-married a wife who was 10 years younger than him... During those days, my current umma treated my father really well, and we were all very happy together. But then... my father got into a scuffle with some hooligans at the orphanage, and one of them hit him over the head with a metal pipe. Father spent the rest of his days paralyzed in the hospital before he passed away..."
"Ah..." Yunho exclaimed in realization. "No wonder you had such a strange expression when you saw me fight..." His voice grew smaller as he trailed off.
Jaejoong continued as if he didn't hear a thing, " You didn't see how father looked like in the hospital, so it might be hard to imagine. The doctor said that there were fluids accumulating in his brain and they had to saw off part of his skull, so his head looked so strange and deformed... At that time, our whole family was in a state of crisis but it was umma who took up the responsibility of supporting our broken family, caring for my sister and I, and my half-dead father. She never gave up on father, and it was during this period that we truly accepted her as our mother. She was the pillar of emotional support for our family, and we were touched by how she laboriously worked and cared for all of us for over a year. Before he passed away, my father's last words were to 'be good to umma and love her in his place'. Actually he didn't need to say that at all; I'd already made up my mind to use the rest of my life to repay her, no matter what...
"But after my father left, umma collapsed completely. To her, father was her everything and because she missed him so much, she gradually became a little unstable... Actually it's partly my fault because I didn't do everything the way she wanted me to so she got really angry... At first she would just hit me, but then she drove my sister out after that... And I wasn't allowed to bring anyone home, especially girls... And then once... at night... that was the first time she went out to drink and when she came home... she suddenly barged into my room... and hugged me... and called father's name... I just wanted to repay her so I thought... maybe just that once... so... but then after that she would run off to drink almost every night after work and when she came home she would..." At this point Jaejoong fell silent, clearly anguished by the memory, unable to continue further. That burden was too heavy for someone his age to shoulder, all the wounds that he daren't show anyone else festered in his heart like cancer cells, a latent aching that never really goes away.
"I just feel so lonely... Every day I dread going back home, and I don't have any friends. My room is completely dark, a deathly void, filled with these shameful memories... Even then, I still feel that what I can give her is nothing compared to what she has done for our family... I just... Wanted to repay her for my father..." as the words spilled forth from his mouth, Jaejoong wrapped his arms tightly around himself, curled into a ball on the sofa.
"Ya!! ...Seriously..." Yunho burst out, unable to take it anymore. "What bullshit! Why are you always so painfully oblivious!? You think that by using your body to repay your stepmother, you're helping your father!? Letting her do as she pleases is just sullying your father's honor, understand!?? Are you even aware that what you're doing is just sleeping with his wife!?"
Jaejoong seemed to be completely stunned by Yunho's words. He raised his head as if he wanted to retort, but in the end he knew that Yunho was right, so he buried his head in his knees again in defeat. "But, what am I supposed to do? I want to help her, and I don't want to disappoint father..."
"Bullshit!" Yunho stood up and grabbed Jaejoong by his shoulders. "She is sinking, but that doesn't mean you have to sink with her, get it? She's completely, and utterly, bat-shit crazy. You think that you're paying her back by letting her treat you as a replacement for her husband, but haven't you realized? It's your name she's calling when she sleeps with you, and she doesn't allow you to have friends, especially female friends. Locking you up away from the world, would you call this love? This is perversion! She only loves your body now, and she wants you for herself, you understand? She's no longer the loving woman who is faithful to your father and her duties as a mother. She's a fucking sex maniac, you idiot!!"
"Yes, yes, yes! I get it! But even if everything you said was right, what can I do now? It's me who let it happen, so it's not entirely her fault! ...What should I do? Tell me, what should I do?" Jaejoong raised his head and frowned at the taller boy, his tear-soaked eyelashes glistening. Yunho's mind couldn't work for a second as he stood there, mesmerized by the beautiful face in front of him, lost in the mysterious depths of those dark eyes. "Blame yourself for having such a pretty face... looking at it everyday, even a man would have a hard time controlling himself, let alone your stepmother" Yunho said as he hooked a finger under Jaejoong's chin, tilting it up closer to his own face.
"What... do you mean by that?" Jaejoong's expression grew fearful, his breathing speeding up rapidly as Yunho was a little too close for comfort. "Say, you have no plans for the future right? I have a solution for you..." Yunho grinned - it looked more like a cunning sneer to Jaejoong - as he stared right into Jaejoong's eyes.
"Why don't you... sell your body to me!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he pushed Jaejoong down on the bed and climbed on top the other boy.
"What... What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Jaejoong squeaked. The weight of Yunho's body pressing down on him threw his mind off balance, setting off all his alarms at once as he tried to push Yunho off.
"What? If you want a way out this is the easiest! And it's a small price to pay, eh?" Yunho pinned down Jaejoong's arms with one hand as his other hand went under Jaejoong's shirt.
The skin contact made Jaejoong panic, and his thrashings grew more violent.
"Don't move...!!" Yunho forcefully pressed down on the still-struggling Jaejoong, the hand under Jaejoong's shirt pausing for a moment as Yunho caught his breath. "Do you still remember when we first met? I greeted you like this too. How nostalgic..."
Jaejoong immediately remembered that afternoon when he first met Yunho, and that the bite-mark Yunho had left on his wrist didn't fade for a very long time, causing his arm to be throbbing in pain constantly. At that time, Yunho left an extremely negative impression on Jaejoong, a mixture of repulsiveness and fear, but never did he expect that after all this time the two of them would be stuck in the same position again. Life had its way of turning the tables on you sometimes.
"Do you know what went through my head at that moment?" Yunho asked. There was an odd glint in his eyes. Jaejoong stopped struggling for a moment.
"When I had you pinned down beneath me, I had this really strong feeling... That if you were a girl, I would definitely have raped you there and then!!" He chuckled as he said this, eyes forming cat-like slits. "So now, since you need find a way to make your problems disappear, you have to pay the price. And the price I ask for... Is you!" Yunho declared as he leaned in close to Jaejoong's lips.
"No, NO! Out of the question!!! I don't need your help, thank you very much! I can solve my problems myself now if you would just let me be on my way...!!" He pleaded as he struggled against Yunho's iron-like grasp with all the strength he had, his heart dreading the unknown for the first time in his life, trying his best to escape from Yunho.
"You don't like it?" Yunho asked, looking at Jaejoong straight in the eyes.
"No I don't! Not in the least!" Jaejoong shook his head violently, his refusal firm and quick. His cheeks were flushed from the shock and exertion.
Suddenly Yunho started laughing instead and, much to Jaejoong's surprise, he slowly released Jaejoong. "If you don't like something, then just say it! Why is it that you are only able to speak your mind when you are with me?"
Jaejoong lay panting on the bed, his eyes wide in revelation at what Yunho just said. Such strange words. It almost feels like a door opening to a new place that Jaejoong had never realized it existed, letting him see himself more clearly, yet it made him aware that he knew nothing about Yunho. What on earth is he... Brute strength, cruel logic, hooligan-manners aside, he always said the right thing. It was only to Yunho that Jaejoong is able to bring out the real side of himself that he never could do so in front of others. Such a strange thing indeed.
Jaejoong stared at Yunho as a pondered, as if he was trying to see through a misty veil and see the true side of this magical person. Even though he was breathing hard and his face was flushed, nothing really mattered because Jaejoong was, for the first time in his life, developing a curiosity about a person of his own age.
"Oi, why are you looking at me like this? Are you trying to seduce me?" Yunho laughed, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "You know, I've always been told that my concentration is very poor. Hormones and all, they say, so it's hard to control myself sometimes. Even though you are a boy, I can't guarantee that I won't tweak my orientation a little..."
Jaejoong immediately snapped out of it and scampered over to the other side of the bed, putting as much distance between them as he could.
"Okay I was joking, don't hide first!" Yunho grabbed Jaejoong as his voice turned serious. "I'm serious about my offer though, will you consider working for me as my servant?"
T/N: I'm.... back. For now. Been really caught up with a lot of shit happening in my life, but at least now I have a bit of time to myself.
"你永远都不会化身像泡沫一样，难道你不知道吗？You'll never fade like foam on the sea, don't you know that?" - Baby Don't Cry, EXO
"...Come on... If you don't want to be bullied anymore, then tell me what happened.... right from the start..." Seeing Jaejoong stare at him wide-eyed and speechless, Yunho fell silent for a while before speaking again, his voice slightly hoarse.
He sat on the bed, watching silently and patiently as Jaejoong struggled to put his story to words, trying to undo the years of keeping everything to himself. Occasionally his thoughts would drift as he listened, falling deep into his thoughts.
The room was quiet, disrupted intermittently only by Jaejoong's meek voice. His story came as a shock, to Yunho and even to Jaejoong himself, who had never dreamed that one day he would be able to confide in another person all the things he had hidden away. They sat apart from each other, enveloped by the tranquility of the night, but at that instant both of them felt it - a tiny miracle tugging at their fates and pulling them together, inexplicably, but nevertheless precious.
"My father married twice when he was alive - the first was my biological mother. She had a weak body, and giving birth to me took a huge toll on her frail health. Father was the head of an orphanage so he took in my sister as well, but mother died shortly after. With two children to care for, father just couldn't cope, so he re-married a wife who was 10 years younger than him... During those days, my current umma treated my father really well, and we were all very happy together. But then... my father got into a scuffle with some hooligans at the orphanage, and one of them hit him over the head with a metal pipe. Father spent the rest of his days paralyzed in the hospital before he passed away..."
"Ah..." Yunho exclaimed in realization. "No wonder you had such a strange expression when you saw me fight..." His voice grew smaller as he trailed off.
Jaejoong continued as if he didn't hear a thing, " You didn't see how father looked like in the hospital, so it might be hard to imagine. The doctor said that there were fluids accumulating in his brain and they had to saw off part of his skull, so his head looked so strange and deformed... At that time, our whole family was in a state of crisis but it was umma who took up the responsibility of supporting our broken family, caring for my sister and I, and my half-dead father. She never gave up on father, and it was during this period that we truly accepted her as our mother. She was the pillar of emotional support for our family, and we were touched by how she laboriously worked and cared for all of us for over a year. Before he passed away, my father's last words were to 'be good to umma and love her in his place'. Actually he didn't need to say that at all; I'd already made up my mind to use the rest of my life to repay her, no matter what...
"But after my father left, umma collapsed completely. To her, father was her everything and because she missed him so much, she gradually became a little unstable... Actually it's partly my fault because I didn't do everything the way she wanted me to so she got really angry... At first she would just hit me, but then she drove my sister out after that... And I wasn't allowed to bring anyone home, especially girls... And then once... at night... that was the first time she went out to drink and when she came home... she suddenly barged into my room... and hugged me... and called father's name... I just wanted to repay her so I thought... maybe just that once... so... but then after that she would run off to drink almost every night after work and when she came home she would..." At this point Jaejoong fell silent, clearly anguished by the memory, unable to continue further. That burden was too heavy for someone his age to shoulder, all the wounds that he daren't show anyone else festered in his heart like cancer cells, a latent aching that never really goes away.
"I just feel so lonely... Every day I dread going back home, and I don't have any friends. My room is completely dark, a deathly void, filled with these shameful memories... Even then, I still feel that what I can give her is nothing compared to what she has done for our family... I just... Wanted to repay her for my father..." as the words spilled forth from his mouth, Jaejoong wrapped his arms tightly around himself, curled into a ball on the sofa.
"Ya!! ...Seriously..." Yunho burst out, unable to take it anymore. "What bullshit! Why are you always so painfully oblivious!? You think that by using your body to repay your stepmother, you're helping your father!? Letting her do as she pleases is just sullying your father's honor, understand!?? Are you even aware that what you're doing is just sleeping with his wife!?"
Jaejoong seemed to be completely stunned by Yunho's words. He raised his head as if he wanted to retort, but in the end he knew that Yunho was right, so he buried his head in his knees again in defeat. "But, what am I supposed to do? I want to help her, and I don't want to disappoint father..."
"Bullshit!" Yunho stood up and grabbed Jaejoong by his shoulders. "She is sinking, but that doesn't mean you have to sink with her, get it? She's completely, and utterly, bat-shit crazy. You think that you're paying her back by letting her treat you as a replacement for her husband, but haven't you realized? It's your name she's calling when she sleeps with you, and she doesn't allow you to have friends, especially female friends. Locking you up away from the world, would you call this love? This is perversion! She only loves your body now, and she wants you for herself, you understand? She's no longer the loving woman who is faithful to your father and her duties as a mother. She's a fucking sex maniac, you idiot!!"
"Yes, yes, yes! I get it! But even if everything you said was right, what can I do now? It's me who let it happen, so it's not entirely her fault! ...What should I do? Tell me, what should I do?" Jaejoong raised his head and frowned at the taller boy, his tear-soaked eyelashes glistening. Yunho's mind couldn't work for a second as he stood there, mesmerized by the beautiful face in front of him, lost in the mysterious depths of those dark eyes. "Blame yourself for having such a pretty face... looking at it everyday, even a man would have a hard time controlling himself, let alone your stepmother" Yunho said as he hooked a finger under Jaejoong's chin, tilting it up closer to his own face.
"What... do you mean by that?" Jaejoong's expression grew fearful, his breathing speeding up rapidly as Yunho was a little too close for comfort. "Say, you have no plans for the future right? I have a solution for you..." Yunho grinned - it looked more like a cunning sneer to Jaejoong - as he stared right into Jaejoong's eyes.
"Why don't you... sell your body to me!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he pushed Jaejoong down on the bed and climbed on top the other boy.
"What... What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Jaejoong squeaked. The weight of Yunho's body pressing down on him threw his mind off balance, setting off all his alarms at once as he tried to push Yunho off.
"What? If you want a way out this is the easiest! And it's a small price to pay, eh?" Yunho pinned down Jaejoong's arms with one hand as his other hand went under Jaejoong's shirt.
The skin contact made Jaejoong panic, and his thrashings grew more violent.
"Don't move...!!" Yunho forcefully pressed down on the still-struggling Jaejoong, the hand under Jaejoong's shirt pausing for a moment as Yunho caught his breath. "Do you still remember when we first met? I greeted you like this too. How nostalgic..."
Jaejoong immediately remembered that afternoon when he first met Yunho, and that the bite-mark Yunho had left on his wrist didn't fade for a very long time, causing his arm to be throbbing in pain constantly. At that time, Yunho left an extremely negative impression on Jaejoong, a mixture of repulsiveness and fear, but never did he expect that after all this time the two of them would be stuck in the same position again. Life had its way of turning the tables on you sometimes.
"Do you know what went through my head at that moment?" Yunho asked. There was an odd glint in his eyes. Jaejoong stopped struggling for a moment.
"When I had you pinned down beneath me, I had this really strong feeling... That if you were a girl, I would definitely have raped you there and then!!" He chuckled as he said this, eyes forming cat-like slits. "So now, since you need find a way to make your problems disappear, you have to pay the price. And the price I ask for... Is you!" Yunho declared as he leaned in close to Jaejoong's lips.
"No, NO! Out of the question!!! I don't need your help, thank you very much! I can solve my problems myself now if you would just let me be on my way...!!" He pleaded as he struggled against Yunho's iron-like grasp with all the strength he had, his heart dreading the unknown for the first time in his life, trying his best to escape from Yunho.
"You don't like it?" Yunho asked, looking at Jaejoong straight in the eyes.
"No I don't! Not in the least!" Jaejoong shook his head violently, his refusal firm and quick. His cheeks were flushed from the shock and exertion.
Suddenly Yunho started laughing instead and, much to Jaejoong's surprise, he slowly released Jaejoong. "If you don't like something, then just say it! Why is it that you are only able to speak your mind when you are with me?"
Jaejoong lay panting on the bed, his eyes wide in revelation at what Yunho just said. Such strange words. It almost feels like a door opening to a new place that Jaejoong had never realized it existed, letting him see himself more clearly, yet it made him aware that he knew nothing about Yunho. What on earth is he... Brute strength, cruel logic, hooligan-manners aside, he always said the right thing. It was only to Yunho that Jaejoong is able to bring out the real side of himself that he never could do so in front of others. Such a strange thing indeed.
Jaejoong stared at Yunho as a pondered, as if he was trying to see through a misty veil and see the true side of this magical person. Even though he was breathing hard and his face was flushed, nothing really mattered because Jaejoong was, for the first time in his life, developing a curiosity about a person of his own age.
"Oi, why are you looking at me like this? Are you trying to seduce me?" Yunho laughed, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "You know, I've always been told that my concentration is very poor. Hormones and all, they say, so it's hard to control myself sometimes. Even though you are a boy, I can't guarantee that I won't tweak my orientation a little..."
Jaejoong immediately snapped out of it and scampered over to the other side of the bed, putting as much distance between them as he could.
"Okay I was joking, don't hide first!" Yunho grabbed Jaejoong as his voice turned serious. "I'm serious about my offer though, will you consider working for me as my servant?"